What are the manifestations of son preference?

In real life, with the progress of spiritual civilization, there are fewer and fewer cases of son preference. However, it is not easy to eradicate the concept of son preference. The form of son preference has already undergone great changes, and it has evolved into a form of "invisible son preference", which exists in the lives of some children and hurts them.

This is a true story. A girl who went to high school complained to her father in tears: We are all your children. You should treat men and women equally. It turns out that the girl's father loves his brother very much. Since her brother was born, she has become an air neglected by her father.

From the fifth grade to 18 years old, girls haven't had a happy meal for a long time. Dad doesn't like her being fat, but he always asks his brother to eat more every day and feed him as a chubby kid. The girl felt very hurt.

Dad is very demanding of his daughter, so that she can learn to do housework at an early age. However, he is very tolerant of his younger brother. He can enjoy himself at home, ignore everything, and order his sister around at will.

Dad is tolerant of his son, but strict with his sister. Dad never cares about his daughter's study and thinks that her daughter can learn whatever she wants. You still have to get married when you grow up. That's someone else's house. But I care about my son very much and pick him up from school every day.

Dad's differential treatment has made her daughter a "doormat" in this family. My daughter tries to brush her sense of existence in front of her father and try to be a good girl. It's a pity that dad instinctively ignores his daughter and doesn't care about her. Dad didn't hold a parent-teacher meeting for his daughter, nor did he accompany her to do parent-child homework. After hearing his daughter's complaints, he also argued that he had never been "patriarchal".

Perhaps, my father didn't know that what he was doing was son preference, but the expression was more secret and not on the bright side.

Sometimes, for the sake of self-paralysis, some parents will call this behavior for the sake of their daughters and exercise their daughters to have a strong heart. Of course, more parents "don't know the true face of Lushan Mountain" because they are in the true face of Lushan Mountain. Some parents shouted, want a bowl of water flat, men's and women's lives, etc., and the palms of their hands are all meat. However, parents are more inclined to boys in words and deeds. For example, only boys usually enroll in interest classes, and pocket money is given to their sons and less to their daughters. Gradually, the daughter was hurt and the son was particularly spoiled.

This invisible preference for sons leads to her daughter's inferiority and introversion, which easily leads to her lack of love and unhappy childhood.

Some parents are even funnier, paying a lot to their sons and investing a lot of money and manpower in the process of parenting. However, when it is time for the son to pay back the money, the parents are unwilling to let the son pay back the money, focusing on the daughter and asking her to pay back.

For example, some parents are sick and need money. Even if their son is rich, parents don't care about his son, but ask for money from their poor daughter. Some parents died, preferring to leave money to their less filial sons rather than to give more money to their daughters. These are all invisible preferences that favor boys over girls.

Fan Meisheng in Ode to Joy is also a typical girl dragged down by a patriarchal family. A 30-year-old man has no savings. She borrows money every month and sends money home. She had to work hard alone in a big city. She wants to lend money to her brother to buy a house and spend money to buy milk powder for his son.

The younger brother is so unfilial, but the parents make excuses for their son. Who can not collapse when encountering such a family?

Equality between men and women should not be a slogan, but should be the norm for every family to treat their children. Parents' hearts are made of meat, and children are their own children. Only when actions show that it is equally good for sons and daughters can children be prevented from being hurt when they grow up.

If parents are afraid that they can't do it, it is better to start from scratch and step by step: spend money on their children, buy gifts and clothes, and buy things at the same price; When you give your son a hug, turn around and give your daughter a hug, and love your child in a balanced way; If you don't want your son to do housework, don't let your daughter do it, so as not to arouse her dissatisfaction and give her due equality; In terms of property, the son should have a share, and the daughter should also have a share, and should not be biased.

Invisible preference for boys is probably a common problem of some parents, which is really not easy to find. Even if it is found, it may be difficult to change. This is an ancient concept and tradition. However, for the sake of brotherhood and the happiness of children, parents should try to make a bowl of water as flat as possible.