Four virtues and three obedience?

Positive solution, three obedience and four virtues

One, three from

"Three obedience" comes from "ceremony". Mourn. Biography of Xia Zi. The original text is "women have the meaning of three obedience, and there is no special way." Therefore, if you don't marry from your father, you will marry from your husband, and your husband will die from your son. "

1. misunderstanding: the important argument that women were oppressed in the old society proved that men were slave owners and women were slaves, and women had to obey men from childhood to adulthood.

2. Positive solution: In fact, these three followers are just talking about the norms of female etiquette.

The most crooked part of the crooked solution is that the word "mourning" is omitted and the meaning of "obedience" is changed to "obedience, obedience".

There are five kinds of mourning clothes, namely, five different orders of mourning clothes, namely "withering, Cui Zi, great contribution, small contribution, coma", corresponding to grandfather's uncle, great grandfather, father to his five generations, or himself, son, grandson, great-grandson and great-grandson, with withering clothes being the heaviest and coma clothes the heaviest. Later, with the help of the five-clothing rule, people extended it to five generations of relatives who have direct blood relationship in the same family. If someone says that "our two brothers don't have five clothes", it means that they have the same great-grandfather or something closer.

"Unmarried from the father" means that a woman talks from her father before marriage, "married from her husband" means that she talks from her husband after marriage, and "married from her son" means that she talks from her son after death. This is a woman's "no special way". For example, when my grandfather died, my husband should attend Cui Zi's funeral and my wife should attend Cui Zi's funeral. If my husband dies, I should take the funeral home from my son, and so should my mother. But if my son is a "grandchild" (that is, the eldest son and grandson), the mother and son will wear clothes and die. For another example, when an elder dies, the husband should be in mourning. When the husband dies, he should follow his son. The son takes five clothes and does not mourn, nor does the mother. In addition to the death of parents, in-laws and husbands, women can't wear mourning clothes for their sons, which is "the husband dies and the son follows."

Second, four virtues

"Four Virtues" comes from "Li Zhoutian's Closing Deed": "Nine Deeds hold the method of women's learning, and teach women virtue, character, appearance and merit with nine". Female virtue refers to being able to stand upright; Female speech refers to proper language, proper words and cultivation; The capacity of women means dignified and steady, avoiding frivolous and casual; A woman's job refers to taking care of her husband and children, respecting the old and caring for the young, and managing the family diligently. "Han Ban zhao. Women's precept: "Virtue does not have to be absolute, words do not have to be spoken, capacity does not have to be beautiful, and merit does not have to be skillful." Four virtues are the norms of women's behavior

Thirdly, "Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is the essence of China's traditional morality.

China's traditional morality, as a code of conduct, has different requirements for men and women. Men should abide by filial piety, loyalty, courtesy, honesty and shame, while women should follow three obedience and four virtues. Three obedience and four virtues are not the shackles that oppress and imprison women, nor are they discriminatory against women, but the etiquette and behavior norms of women. The role of the code of conduct is to regulate interpersonal relationships and maintain social order, which cannot be described as dogma, oppression or imprisonment. Living in society, people must have a code of conduct. Without proper norms, society will be in a mess. To describe norms as imprisonment, discrimination and oppression is ignorance at best, ulterior motives at worst, and bullying teachers and destroying ancestors.

Random criticism since the May 4th Movement;

The moral code prescribed by men to women is: "don't marry, follow the father;" If you get married, you follow your husband; Follow your son when you die, which is the so-called "three obedience". Women are men's accessories from birth to death. How unfortunate it is to be born a woman for thousands of years! China has many Confucian ethics, and she was born a woman in China, especially in misfortune! (Cai Shangsi's Ethical History of China)

"Don't marry from your father, marry from your husband, and your husband will die from your son." In terms of family status. If you want to restrain it, you will not resist it, but also create various customs, morals, dogmas and beliefs to suppress it and train it. Because of this result, women's ability is weaker and their status is lower, so people play with women more. Although women themselves are only self-contemptuous, cause and effect go hand in hand, and women fall into eighteen layers of hell and cannot extricate themselves. The idea that men are superior to women is cast in an iron bucket. (Chen Dongyuan: Life History of Women in China)

The basic meaning of the original file:

A woman who is suitable for others is her parents, and Kundi is her father. Empresses in the Palace said, Why should I be a father? Women don't cut. If women don't behead, why not? Women have the meaning of three obedience, and there is no special way. Therefore, I didn't marry from my father, but from my husband, who died from my son. Therefore, the days of fathers and sons are also the days of husbands and wives. Women don't cut off, and they say they can't cut off the sky. Women don't respect it. (The Book of Rites, Mourning)

After her daughter got married, she only served Cui Zi's funeral for one year for her parents and her father's brother. Why is this happening? Because women can't keep two three-year funerals. Why? Men and women are different. The difference is that women have "three obedience", so customs and habits change accordingly, and there is no single reason. Where is the "Three Obediences"? That is, unmarried women live with their fathers, married women live with their husbands, and husbands live with their children after death. Therefore, when a woman is unmarried, her parents are heaven; After marriage, treat her husband like a sky. A woman doesn't keep two three-year mourning periods, just as we can't have two days at the same time, and a woman can't have two most honorable days.

The ninth wife mastered the method of female study and taught the ninth emperor. Female virtue, female speech, female appearance, female merit. Each handsome man belongs to his own family and is entrusted by the king at that time. Every sacrifice, praise jade, praise recommendation, and thoroughly eat beans. If there are guests, then from the back. Great loss, so are handsome people who cry. ("Zhou Li Tian Guan Yi")

General idea: Nine concubines are in charge of the things and etiquette related to women's imperial court, in order to educate women's morality, speech and communication, manners and labor skills. The female royal families belonging to each rate go to Yan's bedroom in turn to wait for the king to rest. If a sacrifice is held, it will help the king to sacrifice or cut beans. If there are guests, help the queen take care of them. In case of great mourning, follow the queen and cry in hierarchical order.

Women have four lines, one is a woman's virtue, the other is a woman's words, the third is a woman's capacity, and the fourth is a woman's merit. You don't have to be clear and unique to be virtuous; There is no need to argue with a woman's words; Women's faces don't need beautiful colors; A woman's job doesn't have to be skillful. Quiet, chastity, neatness, being ashamed of one's behavior, and behaving appropriately are called the virtues of women. Words and sentences are women's words, not bad words, but words spoken, so don't tire others. Wash away the dirt, put on fresh clothes, bathe in time, not dirty or humiliating, this is what a woman looks like. It's a woman's job to concentrate on spinning, not laughing, eating and drinking together and serving guests. These four are women's virtues, but they are indispensable. However, it is easy, but it is intentional. The ancients said, "Is benevolence far away?" ? I want benevolence, I am benevolence. "This is also called. (Ban Zhao's "Women's Commandments and Women's Behavior")

General idea: female virtue does not require you to be intelligent, but requires you to be quiet, shy and conform to etiquette norms. What a woman says doesn't require you to be eloquent, but it requires you to speak without swearing and think carefully. A woman's appearance does not require you to be beautiful, but requires you to be clean and tidy. A woman's job doesn't require you to be skilled, but it requires you to do things seriously and don't slap in the face with a smile. These are the basic moral requirements of human beings, and anyone, male or female, should do it.