Why do brides in some places cry when they get married?

It is said that marriage is a "big day" for one person, and weddings are always full of joy. However, brides in some places have to hide their faces and cry when they get married, and even burst into tears. The louder the cry, the better. Why?

In fact, this custom has a long history. In the past, it was very common among Han, Tujia, Tibetan, Yi, Zhuang and other ethnic minorities. People call it "crying marriage". "Crying for marriage" is largely because women cry because they don't want to be separated from their parents.

In the folk, crying marriage often begins a few days before the wedding. As long as relatives and friends come to visit and give gifts, the bride will cry to express her gratitude, which is a courtesy. From the night before the wedding to the sedan chair the next day, the crying wedding reached its climax. During this period, the bride's crying wedding is very particular. You can't cry casually, but you should do it according to etiquette, and you can't help crying. Anyone who doesn't cry will be regarded as an uneducated person and will be laughed at or even discriminated against by others.

The bride's crying wedding is more than just crying. For a long time, the people have formed a unique culture of crying and marrying, generally singing and crying. As far as the content is concerned, some people cry for their parents, brothers and sisters, uncles, matchmakers, ancestors, sedan chairs and so on. Cry for parents, brothers and sisters, and express the reluctant feelings of marrying into in-laws. As the saying goes, "Marry a woman and splash water" means that after marriage, she can no longer live in her parents' house permanently to reunite with her parents and sisters, so the bride will cry for one of them, and the more she cries, the more filial she is. Crying about the matchmaker, getting into the sedan chair is the pain and fear of being bound by marriage from now on. In the past, marriage depended on parents' orders and matchmakers' words. Some women's parents listened to the matchmaker and married their daughters. Newlyweds have no autonomy of their own. This kind of arranged marriage inevitably leads to the tragedy of many girls' lives. Therefore, the bride's crying marriage is not only a sorrow for her own fate, but also a dissatisfaction with the old system.

Weeping marriage is a prelude to Tujia wedding. They think that "no crying is not lively, no crying is not good-looking." A girl who cries beautifully is a clever and good wife. When relatives and friends come to bid farewell, crying is a kind of friendliness and courtesy.

Not only that, attachment to the bride's family and fear of her husband's family torment the bride's heart from time to time. Facing the new life and new identity, the bride burst into tears, which is not only a way to vent her pressure, but also a declaration to bid farewell to the past and enter a new life.

The bride is not the only one who cries. Generally speaking, female relatives in the family, especially grandmothers, mothers and sisters, have to chat with the bride and cry bitterly. After a long time, the content of this kind of crying wedding gradually has a fixed format and rhythm, forming a crying wedding song, and there are still various crying wedding songs circulating among the people.

Among the customs of crying marriage in various places, Tujia people's crying wedding etiquette is the most representative. Tujia brides usually cry for a long time, and some even cry for more than a month before marriage, even if they cry hoarse. Moreover, Tujia girls have to learn to cry marriage from the age of twelve or thirteen, and crying marriage has become a traditional skill. People also regard whether the bride to be married can sing a wedding song as a sign to measure women's talent and virtue. There are also various forms of Tujia people's crying marriage, which are mainly divided into three forms: one person crying and singing, two people crying and singing, and crying and reunion. A person crying and singing is the bride who is going to get married crying about her fate, her parents' kindness and her reluctance to her family. Two people cry and sing at the same time, which is also called "sister crying". It means that the girl to be married cries and sings first, while the crying companion comforts and sings. Two people should make up and sing relatively. Crying for reunion is also called "accompanying ten sisters". The night before the bride's wedding, the bride's parents will invite nine unmarried girls to cry and sing with the bride all night. Tujia mourning lyrics are extremely rich in content, catchy in language and easy to sing, and form a fixed tune, which is a unique folk phenomenon.

Nowadays, although other parts of our country also have the custom of crying marriage, the etiquette of crying marriage is far less exquisite than that of Tujia nationality. But the same thing is, the sad tears of the bride-to-be are all from the heart of her past life and family.