Mudanjiang traditional tombstone

Filial piety is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation.

As the saying goes: "If the body is skinned, the parents who suffer from it dare not damage it, and filial piety begins."

Parents gave us precious lives. They raised their children all their lives, asking for nothing in return and making selfless contributions.

Therefore, the love of parents is the greatest love in the world.

No one can refute this.

In the eyes of ancestors, even the skin and hair on the body can not be easily damaged by themselves, because doing so will obviously show signs of unfilial.

So the ancients took good care of their bodies and lives.

In contrast, many young people give up their lives easily because of feelings or other reasons. The ancestors did a good job between cherishing life and "filial piety", which is worth learning.

There are many philosophical sayings about filial piety that have been circulated for thousands of years, such as "the tree wants to be quiet but the wind will not stop, and the son wants to raise it without waiting for his relatives." Everything should be efficient and timely, especially for parents. Don't wait until they are too old to walk, to remember that we should respect them.

Another example: "Only when you are in charge do you know that rice is expensive, and only when you raise children do you know that your parents are grateful." As the saying goes, children don't think their mothers are ugly and dogs don't think their families are poor.

Although the words are rough, the truth is very intriguing.

There are many ways to express filial piety before death, and you can see the voices and smiles of parents and ancestors with your own eyes.

But when they leave this world, if we want to express our filial piety, we can only express it by visiting graves.

Ancestors pay attention to "returning the fallen leaves to the roots" and are more willing to "bury in the ground."

No matter where you are, when you are dying, you want to go back to your hometown and sleep underground with your ancestors to protect future generations.

According to the traditional custom in China, after the death of ancestors, they will be buried according to local rules, and a tombstone will be erected to show filial piety and nostalgia, and also to show the prosperity of the family, because the tombstone will not only write down the information of the deceased, but also write down the situation of future generations, so that others can know that this is a tomb with family blood.

However, in the matter of setting up a tombstone, there are still many things to pay attention to. Not everyone can set up a tombstone.

There is a folk proverb: "If a tombstone is not erected, the family will cry after it is erected". What are the four situations that can't get an erection? What's the point of setting up a tombstone?

The first case where a tombstone cannot be erected is that a new grave cannot be erected within three years.

There are three reasons for this statement, and listen to the details.

The first reason is "three years of filial piety".

According to the rules left by ancestors, after the death of parents, children should be filial at home for three years.

In these three years, filial people can't wear gorgeous clothes, have any entertainment, or even get married. Basically, the whole person is in a closed state to express his inner grief and disappointment.

The reason why the time is specified as "three years" is because human cubs can't walk independently until they are basically three years old, and before that, they need the care and feeding of their parents all the time.

Parents have been isolated for their children for three years, and the dead children will return the same way, which means "if something happens".

If a monument is erected during this time, it is impossible to really "make things happen".

The second reason is that when burying parents' ancestors, professionals will be invited to choose a place with excellent feng shui for burial, hoping to give the ancestors the greatest gratitude in this treasure land and hope that the ancestors can continue to bless future generations.

Three years, just to verify whether the land buried in the grave is really a treasure trove of geomantic omen.

If so, the family will flourish in these three years.

If the disaster continues, we will not hesitate to move the grave, so we can't erect a monument for three years.

The third reason is that the soil of the new grave is soft, and the tombstone is easy to tilt or even collapse.

Of the three reasons, this is more scientific, and the first two are the reasons for the precipitation of traditional culture.

Because the newly built grave will soften the surrounding soil, if a tombstone weighing several hundred kilograms is erected at this time, it is easy to tilt or even fall directly.

Obviously, this is not allowed by family members, which is also a very unlucky phenomenon. Therefore, it is very safe to wait for three years until the soil around the grave is solid.

The second situation where a tombstone cannot be erected is: a person who died young.

In the view of ancestors, the person who lost his life in this case could not even enter the ancestral grave, let alone set up a tombstone.

This situation mostly refers to the death of minors for some reason, because they are not married and have no offspring.

In the ancient people's cognition, "there are three kinds of unfilial, and there is no queen."

This is also one of the reasons why you can't enter the ancestral grave, but now it seems that such a rule is a bit extreme.

The third situation where a tombstone cannot be erected is: accidental sudden death or suicide.

Because it is an unnatural death, it is difficult for a family to talk about it, especially suicide, which is a shame to the family, let alone a tombstone. This situation is also difficult to enter the ancestral grave.

However, it should be emphasized that the situation mentioned here refers to the abnormal death that occurs in the normal life of ordinary people.

We can't confuse soldiers who died in battle to serve the motherland. After all, these traditional cultural customs have certain limitations and regionality.

The fourth case where a tombstone cannot be erected is that there is no heir.

Especially in rural areas, there are many "five guarantees", unmarried or unmarried for life, and naturally there are no descendants.

Basically, they all lived a lonely life before their death, and most of them lived on relief. After their death, the village spontaneously organized to deal with the aftermath, but they died all their lives.

Such a person can't erect a tombstone.

Because there is no point in erecting a monument, because no one has come to pay homage to them, it is better to be quiet after burial.

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After reading the above explanation, do you have a new understanding of the sentence "four tombstones don't stand, but the family cries after standing" The ancestors used concise words to express four situations in which a tombstone could not be erected, and summarized it with "the family cried after it was erected", expressing the reasons why a tombstone could not be erected.

Imagine in the old society, there were too many rules and regulations.

If you set up a monument against the custom, you will be indifferent and despised by the people around you, and the ending of "unsociable" will not be too good, making your family cry all day, which is not what the deceased wants.

But from the perspective of modern science, it is obviously untenable.

However, as a spiritual sustenance, traditional culture should be respected by future generations.

At the same time, it is the right way to take the essence and discard the dross.

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