Crosstalk about Journey to the West

I hear you are very knowledgeable. You read several catties in the newspaper alone. I want to ask you some questions.

B: Does reading newspapers have any weight? What questions do you ask?

Have you seen The Journey to the West?

How could I not see it? Four classical novels in ancient China.

You see, he is so learned that even Four Great Classical Novels knows him. I've seen it too!

B: There is nothing to be proud of.

What I saw was different from what you saw. You read all about the Monkey King, right?

Yes, mainly in the Monkey King.

What I read is about Tang Priest.

B: It's different.

A: The book I read has a picture description!

B: What picture shows it?

A: Have you lost your knowledge? That is, there are pictures on it, the Monkey King, pigs and the like, and the kind written below.

B: comic books?

A: You said, let you choose to be a character in Journey to the West. Who would you choose?

B: the Monkey King.

A: Wrong, isn't it? The Monkey King skill again big, not afraid of hoops? When the Tang Priest chanted a spell, the Monkey King was in pain.

B: That's one thing. Why are we discussing this? We can't go back.

A: I became a Tang priest!

B: What about you? I don't know.

A: Let me show you. Still called Tang Priest? I have been a Tang priest for more than a week.

Tell me, how did you become a Tang priest?

A: One night, it was dark, so I turned on the light in the dark. (strike a match) One won't do, two. ...

B: kerosene lamp!

As soon as I touched the lamp, an elf suddenly appeared and looked at me. I thought, who is this? What are you doing here? Steal my lamp? No, say hello to him first. Who knows which country he is from? Say a few foreign languages first.

B: People who read comic books can also speak foreign languages.

A: Harao？ Nothing happened. Ah, you, Hasai, yo ...

B: Is it a Korean elf?

A: The genie spoke: Brother, don't speak that foreign language, I can't understand it. How about some Chinese food? The Olympic Games have been held in Beijing, and Mandarin has been popularized all over the world. Why do you still speak a foreign language?

B: northeast elf.

Tell me earlier. I won't talk about the third country. what can I do for you? The genie said, I am the genie of this kerosene lamp, and I can grant you a wish.

Have you become a Tang priest?

A: I said, give me ten thousand dollars first.

You are so promising.

A: The genie said: If I have 10,000 yuan, what should I do under the kerosene lamp?

B: Emotion is still poor.

A: Then find me two beautiful women. The genie said, if I can get a beautiful woman, why should I hide in a kerosene lamp? I am very angry. I don't want you to satisfy any wishes without money and beauty. You might as well be a monk. The genie said: I can satisfy your desire to become a monk. What kind of monk do you want to be? Angry at me, what an elf. I said: I don't want to become a monk. The genie said: Your wish cannot be changed!

B: Well, you can become a monk again.

A: No way. What should I be? Yes, I'll be the Tang Priest, and I'll have many affairs all the way. That's a good idea.

You are so promising.

A: I said I should be Tang Priest. Call the Monkey King and Pig, I have a meeting. The genie agreed, and read a mantra: Eat grapes without spitting grape skins, and spit grape skins without eating grapes. ...

B: it's a good mantra. We crosstalk performers should be elves.

Bang, the Monkey King, Pig and Friar Sand all came out. I said: Disciples, the main purpose of our meeting today is to discuss how to go to the Western Heaven and see if there is any good way to get there quickly and conveniently. The Monkey King, tell me.

What did he say?

A: Master, I respect your old man very much. At your age, you still want to work in the west.

Does the Monkey King kiss up too? Are you going to work in the west?

But I doubt whether you can go to the western paradise.

I think so.

A: Why don't I turn you into a fly and hide in Shenzhou VI, and when Shenzhou VI arrives, you will go up.

B: the Monkey King also knows about Shenzhou VI.

A: I said, nonsense! Last time I wanted to go to the moon to see Chang 'e, you turned me into a fly. Before entering the spaceship, I came to get a fly swatter. I almost bid farewell to the world at this beat. ...

B: Yes!

Tell me, Bajie.

What good idea does the pig have?

A: It was Pig Bajie who pulled out his pistol and put it on my head. He said, master, this thing can make people die in the west at once!

B: Boy!

A: Step aside! How can I teach such an apprentice? Friar Sand, it's up to you.

B: Friar Sand has an idea?

A: It's still Friar Sand, forever! Friar Sand said, Master, I don't think we should go west. You just want to learn from the scriptures. I have a buddy in Buddhism, Tetie, and I can ask him to copy a scripture. ...

B: Huh?

A: Come on, my good disciples. Let's go step by step. Do you want so-and-so (B) who speaks crosstalk to carry me?

What are you thinking about me at the moment?

A: Let's get this straight. Disciples, let's go east!

B: Wait, where to?

Dong, did you turn?

The Journey to the West was changed to The Journey to the West.

You are stubborn. Is the earth round? Should I go east, around or west?

I haven't heard.

A: Go east! Go to Beijing after watching the Olympic Games!

B: I didn't see you still care about the Olympics.

A: Of course. Wukong, go and cook some vegetarian dishes. The Monkey King fell and disappeared. After a long time, the Monkey King came back with a big bowl of noodles in his hand and said, "Master, eat quickly! I managed to illustrate this point. " I looked into the bowl. Why is there shredded pork?

B: The Tang Priest turned into a flesh.

A: Wukong, how did you become meat? The Monkey King said: No way, isn't this handmade noodles? Why is there shredded pork in it? Oh, I was afraid the master wouldn't like it, so I specially added some shredded pork, but this is still handmade noodles. It's handmade noodles. That's enough. Eat! Hey, this handmade noodle smells good.

You also eat shredded pork noodles. What monk?

A: the Monkey King said, Master, after you finish this meal, let's say goodbye. I quickly asked: What's the matter? The Monkey King said: Alas, a security company took a fancy to me, with a monthly salary of 1000, including room and board, and double pay on holidays. I think I also make a living by traveling to the west. Where can I not eat? When you are full, I should go to work.

The Monkey King is working, too. It depends on how you travel to the west.

A: Who is it? Go ahead, treat me to dinner when I get paid.

B: This Tang Priest is easy to talk to.

A: After walking for a few days, I was hungry, so I asked Friar Sand and Pig to go to alms together. This meal is not delicious. I haven't eaten handmade noodles for three days.

B: Hey, you remember.

A: Friar Sand and Pig have been fighting for three times, but nothing has been achieved. I'm so angry: I can't go back to being a vegetarian, and neither can you! Friar Sand and Pig have gone to melt again. After an hour, Friar Sand came back by himself. I asked him: What about your second brother? Friar Sand cried at that time: Master, now that pork is rich, only the second brother can sell some money.

Did you sell Pig Bajie?

A: I ate my second apprentice's money for prostitution. How to eat? Poor Bajie ... Who cooked the meal? It's too salty. ...

B: Huh?

Now it's our journey to the west. (Singing) You carry a heavy load, and you lead a horse. ...

B: There is only one person left.

A: I really hope that Mrs. Friar Sand and I will go to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures, but something unexpected has happened. A resume submitted by Friar Sand in Heaven was taken away by a company, and Friar Sand was called back to work in Heaven by phone. Alas, I wonder why my great cause of learning Buddhist scriptures in the Western Heaven is so bumpy, and the four of them have to escape to death and go their separate ways.

B: Are you still going west?

A: Go! I'm not going. I don't have a job and no one gets paid, right?

B: This monk is a coward.

A: On this day, I came to the legendary daughter country. My heart says the sunrise is not far away! Maybe I will bid farewell to my single life and have children with my beloved daughter, Guo Jun, and let them complete my great cause of learning from the scriptures.

B: What quality?

A: I was immediately taken to the palace and met the female king. The queen is nine feet tall, with big ears, thick eyebrows and blushing like a jujube.

Isn't this Guan Gong?

A: My mother is here, and all the women around me are ugly. I see, no wonder there are no men living here, and they will live for ten years.

Not exactly.

A: The monarch said, Are you a monk in the Tang Dynasty? I said: Yes. The monarch said, don't go either. Stay here and be my queen.

B: The Queen.

A: I said, um ... I was ordered by the imperial court and didn't deserve it. The monarch said: I am also the king of a country, and I am the king of a country with you. Do you dare not listen to me?

B: That would be a problem.

A: Blood mildew. I said: Princess, there is a crosstalk performer named XXX (name B) in our unit, who is quite handsome. Do you think you can ask him to accompany you?

B: Why do you think of me at this time?

How did you leave your motherland?

A: Thanks to the enlightenment of Guanyin, I became a woman temporarily, and I fled my daughter country.

That's great.

A: I walked into the desert, tired and hungry, and I haven't eaten for three days. Not to mention handmade noodles with shredded pork. I can eat abalone.

B: Are there any abalone in the desert?

That's what I thought. I suddenly fell into the desert and I struggled desperately. Suddenly I grabbed a hard thing in my hand and took it out. That's another lamp. An elf stood in front of me and said, I can grant you a wish.

The monster came out again.

I hate it. Get me out of the desert!

Did you take it out?

The genie said, "I was lost in the desert for many years." .

B: None of these elves are strong.

A: Change me back. I don't want to be a Tang priest.

B: That's enough.

A: That's my brother's spell. We can't undermine each other.

B: Look at your life.

My tears came down: then give it to me ... give it to me ... my wife ... a clap of fairy hands, and a beautiful woman appeared in front of me. The genie said: I am starving, and I am still such a playboy. Say that finish, disappeared.

B: That's right.

Give me ... grandma's cake ...

B: Huh?

A: I suddenly found that there was still a lot of food in my backpack. I turned over and blocked the woman's mouth with my left hand, so that she couldn't grab my food. My right hand grabbed the food and stuffed it into my mouth. The food I eat is very beautiful …

I'm starving.

A: I was eating delicious food when my daughter-in-law slapped me: Why don't you sleep in the middle of the night and chew the quilt in your mouth?

B: Dreaming.