What is: three obedience and four virtues. Why should women in feudal times obey them?

"Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is the standard requirement of Confucian ethics on women's life in terms of morality, behavior and self-cultivation in order to adapt to the stability of patriarchal clan system and safeguard the interests of patriarchal clan system-in-law (ethnic group), according to the principles of "different inside and outside" and "men are superior to women". The third is not to marry from the father, to marry from the husband, and to die from the son. The four virtues are female virtue, female speech, female appearance and female merit.

The word "Three Congs" first appeared in the Confucian classic "The Book of Rites-A Biography of Sorrow" in Zhou and Han Dynasties. When discussing the mourning period of married women (husband is three years, father is one year), some people say that "women have the meaning of' three obedience' and have no way to' special use', so they don't marry their father, but marry their husband and die". As daughters, wives and mothers, women should obey men. However, women have been obedient for a long time, and the word "female" is the image of Oracle Bone Inscriptions in Shang Dynasty. There are hexagrams in the Book of Changes, which advocate that women obey and be single-minded and always serve their husbands. Later, women were asked to be martyred and chaste, and widows were restricted from remarrying. The word "four virtues" can be found in Zhou Li Tianguan, which is an official position of teaching harem women, and is responsible for teaching harem women "Li Yin" and "women's duties" step by step, among which the "ninth wife" with higher official position is in charge of women's studies and teaches nine kinds of women's virtues, women's words, women's looks and women's merits. "At first, it was a kind of palace women's education, and later it was called" three obedience ",which became the standard of women's morality, behavior, ability and cultivation, that is," three obedience and four virtues ". The so-called "three obedience" means: don't marry from the father, marry from the husband, and the husband dies in the child. It means that girls should listen to their parents' instructions before getting married, and don't contradict the instructions of their elders at will, because their social knowledge is rich and has fundamental guiding significance; After marriage, you should be polite to your husband, keep a house and practice with your husband, respect the old and love the young; If the husband unfortunately dies before himself, he should stick to his duties, find ways to raise the children and respect their philosophy of life. Obedience here is not "following" in the superficial sense, but the essence of "engaging" with the nature of work. The so-called "four virtues" refer to: virtue, tolerance, speech and merit, that is to say, being a woman is first of all moral, and she can be upright; Then there is "capacity", that is, appearance, which points out that people should be dignified and steady and not frivolous; "Speech" means that when talking with people, you should be able to attach meaning at will, understand what others say, and know what you should and should not say; "Merit" refers to the way of managing the family, including taking care of the husband and teaching the children, respecting the old and loving the young, being diligent and frugal, and other details of life. (Zhou Li Tianguan September 1st).