Do you report the good news when you go home for Chinese New Year? What 'joy' will you talk to your parents about?

I guess. For many elders, I think it should be like this, especially young people who are in their 30s, must think clearly before entering the home, with a smile to face the family. After all, as parents age has been more than 60 years old, they bear the pressure is not as big as you, so that for the elderly, sometimes a good lie is also right.

In fact, sometimes a good lie is also quite normal, depending on for which kind of people it.

The case of unreported joy is to share the joy with your parents. In this case, the worry that you don't report is something that your parents can't share emotionally, such as physical discomfort, life and work, "something that you can't change voluntarily", because these worries will only add to the worries of your parents who are far away from you, and you will worry about your parents' worries if you tell them, and you will wait until things are over and then you can tell them again.

The good news and bad news scenario is to tell them about the difficulties I'm facing, but to convey the process of "I'm overcoming them" so that they understand what I'm facing and know that I can overcome them on my own.

Detailed Interpretation

If you only report good news and bad news to your parents, chances are it's not a well-intentioned lie, but an attack?

Every time you talk to your parents, it's the same old "Have you eaten?" "How's your job? I'm not going to be able to get a good look at it, but I'm going to be able to see it. "How old are you?" "You should look for someone."

And you always answer: Uh-huh, everything is fine, work well, health.

But in reality, you may be facing unemployment, breakup, doctor's appointment, moving and so on. But you don't tell your parents about these things. Because the way your parents see you, and the real you, may be two different people.

You are afraid that they will be disappointed, afraid that they will blame.

So, in the final analysis, there are two reasons for the psychology of reporting the good news and not the bad news:

1. Fear that your parents will be harmed

All the previous things have made you realize that your failure may be a kind of harm to your parents.

You are afraid that your parents do not have the means to bear the pain of their own failure, and from a moral point of view, children should share the joy to their parents.

This would not be ungrateful and would not tire your heart.

2, family of origin makes your self-esteem strong

1: Have a strict parents

We feel their strictness in the process of getting along with our parents through the years, so in order not to let them down, in order to get their approval, but also to maintain our fragile self-esteem, so we report the good news not to report the bad.

2: Having a controlling parent

Parents are full of control over their children, no matter how old they are. So the child naturally develops a defense mechanism.

One is to prevent emotional entanglements with each other before.

The second is to prevent the parents from having no sense of boundaries and always interfering with the child constantly.

3: Having an emotionally deprived parent

The emotional feelings are: guilt

The other person's powerlessness is projected onto you, so if you report your worries, it will make you you feel like you're attacking or hurting the other person, and it will create a sense of guilt inside of you

The harsh style of parenting that you have grown up with has left you with a fragile self-esteem system.

At the first sign of any setback, the shame and fear of failure will arise, which gives you no way to open up to your parents.

So don't ever think you're being virtuous by reporting the good news, maybe you're just attacking them in a way you don't even realize, and defending yourself in the process.