What is the relationship between brothers and sisters?

There are two real family relationships: husband-wife relationship and parent-child relationship. The rest, such as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between uncle and nephew, the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren, and the relationship between brothers and sisters. , are the indirect relations extended from these two direct relations.

The difference between "direct" and "indirect" is very practical and important, which can help us straighten out complex family relations and find the root of family conflicts.

For example, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is usually superficial, and the fundamental problem often lies in the direct relationship between husband and wife or parent-child relationship: either the parent-child relationship is too sticky or the relationship between husband and wife is too sparse. So the problem of indirect relationship should be found in direct relationship.

Of course, there are many discussions about these relationships, and there are also many viewpoints. Only the relationship between brothers and sisters is rarely discussed and quite ignored. With the marriage of sisters and the separation of brothers, the relationship between them gradually drifted away, gradually becoming the so-called "kinship" and "neighbor relationship", and gradually being left out in the cold.

So, is it really not important that compatriots are born and have a relationship with compatriots who eat a pot? Or, with the passage of time, is it really from important to unimportant? Of course not.

No matter from the perspective of human relations or from the cultural traditions of all nationalities in the world, this relationship is ultimately a family relationship. Since it is a family relationship, it is of course very important, and its importance is self-evident.

So, what kind of relationship is brother and sister? Or, what kind of family relationship is it?

Apart from the general remarks such as "one mother with the same robe", "born from the same root", "brotherhood" and "blood connection", when it comes to detailed investigation, there is really a feeling of unclear and unclear. This feeling just reflects our indifference, neglect and ignorance of this important relationship. The following is the reflection and compensation for this "brotherhood".

What do you mean by parents with the same parents? This means that this "* * *" has spawned many "similarities".

Parents' happiness, misfortune, honor and disgrace, joys and sorrows are transmitted to every child through parent-child relationship-parents' happiness leads to children's happiness, parents' pain leads to children's unhappiness, and it is difficult for all children to stay out of it-brothers and sisters are linked together through the spiritual bond of "parents", making the relationship between brothers and sisters a * * * relationship.

However, where do parents' happiness and pain come from? Maybe it comes from the objective environment, other people in the society, maybe it comes from parents themselves, and the key is from one of the brothers and sisters. The "love of calves" determines that parents are more concerned about difficulties, especially the most difficult children. Parents' joys and sorrows depend on the children with the greatest difficulties or the worst situation, not the children with superior conditions. In this way, between brothers and sisters, if one person has difficulties, it will affect all other brothers and sisters through the emotional transmission of parents. No matter whether the relationship is good or bad, parents can't get around this hurdle-parents are worried about their children. In this way, your difficulties will be transformed into mine through my parents, and my difficulties will be transformed into yours through my parents-this is the relationship between * * *.

More directly, when parents are faced with diseases, life difficulties, social disputes and other issues, brothers and sisters can't stay out of it. Whether they are empathetic before their deathbed, or honor and disgrace and * * * in contradictions and entanglements are the same problems and interests between brothers and sisters, and they all need to work together to advance and retreat together.

In a word, the relationship between brothers and sisters is not only * * * feelings, but also * * * interests.

As the saying goes, "One mother gives birth to nine children, and nine children are different." However, these differences are mostly acquired differences, not superficial differences; Brothers and sisters have amazing and even strange similarities in their bones and nature. No matter from the appearance characteristics, manners, behavior habits, or thinking mode, personality characteristics, style of doing things, the similarities between brothers and sisters are incomparable to other relationships (such as husband-wife relationship, small relationship, friend relationship, etc.). ).

The reason is simple, because they are the same robe, because they have the same genetic genes, because they have the same physiological composition.

Matter determines consciousness and physiology determines psychology.

As a result, brothers and sisters have a * * * empathy model with the outside world.

So they have more of the same tastes, hobbies and nature. So they get along more harmoniously, tacitly and harmoniously; So they can have telepathy.

Without contrast, there is no gap. Take the most important intimate relationship "husband and wife relationship" as an example, and compare it, we can find the mystery.

Husband and wife should form the same family, while brothers and sisters should belong to different families when they get married. Undoubtedly, the former has more and more material benefits, while the latter has less and less material benefits.

However, when poor couples suddenly become rich, or ordinary couples suddenly encounter great disasters, an old saying will often come true: "Husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and when great disasters happen, they fly separately", "great disasters" are like this, and so are "great blessings" and "great wealth". Because of the "halfway meeting" between husband and wife, the interest relationship between * * and * * is far greater than the emotional relationship between * *, and different interests will break the relationship.

But for the relationship between brothers and sisters, one side is in trouble, and the other side is deeply sympathetic, and will help, empathize and appreciate each other.

Interestingly, if one party cashes in, the other party may not celebrate with the whole family. Why? Or the old formula, "the problem of indirect relationship should be found in direct relationship."

This is usually the result of parents' preference for boys, or it may be a by-product of encouraging Excellence and urging backwardness.

For better or worse, these phenomena reflect that the emotional relationship between brothers and sisters is far greater than the interest relationship between brothers and sisters, and the same induction mode of empathy has not been damaged by different interests.

This is why when there is a contradiction between husband and wife, they complain everywhere, but when brothers fight with each other, they regard it as a public scandal;

Therefore, it is not surprising that couples divorce, but when brothers and sisters are in danger, the parties violate it, and both lose, and both lose, but onlookers regard it as "news talk" and "bad news travels thousands of miles";

This is also why there is a marriage phenomenon of "being proud of marrying a mistress" and "being lucky with money". However, brothers and sisters are not harmonious, and neither side is proud. Only when both sides complain, will the character be questioned by outsiders ―― will you be kind to others if you treat your brother like this? There is something wrong with this person, and this person can't afford it.

These psychological phenomena that everyone has just appeared reflect that "sibling relationship" is an innate and irreplaceable relationship that can't be hurt; These ethical requirements handed down from generation to generation precisely show that "brotherhood" can better represent a person's personality, better reflect a person's personality and better reflect a person's humanity, which is a more fundamental human relationship.

In short, brothers and sisters, because they are the closest blood relationship of the same origin, have many similarities in personality and temperament, and have natural telepathy, so they are more harmonious, tacit and harmonious. Therefore, sibling relationship is a kind of empathy relationship.

Brothers and sisters suck a nipple from childhood, eat a pot of rice together and grow up under the same roof; Brothers and sisters grow up in the same environment and process.

Under the same family education environment, they have more similar living habits, working methods, thinking patterns, personality characteristics and moral qualities. This high sense of identity of "three views are consistent" is unmatched by the relationship between father and son and mother and daughter. Because the latter has direct blood inheritance, but there is no growing environment and experience, there will be an incomprehensible "generation gap phenomenon" between parents and children. Between brothers and sisters, there is not only no generation gap, but also more "but I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn", and more "tacit understanding" and "empathy" make it easier to understand, tolerate and understand each other. The spiritual realm presented by this series of objective phenomena is insurmountable for parent-child relationship, not to mention the relationship between husband and wife.

Why? Because they not only have the same blood, but also have the same growth environment, the same growth process, the same maternal love, the same father's scolding, the same frolicking, the same pain of privacy, the same educational conditions, the same growth trajectory and the same * * * *

Imagine how many "* * *" are needed to match these many "similarities" among all kinds of people in the complicated material movement.

How many lines do you need to repair before you and I meet!

Life is short, how much virtue does it take to know you and me!

Things have changed, how many relationships do you need to continue and make you and me brothers and sisters! !

However, under the influence of the "family planning" policy in 20 or 30 years, in the materialistic and disorderly money society, people are busy running their own "small families" and their own "small abacus". How many people will miss the brother-sister relationship that has been gradually ignored? How many people will cherish this precious "brotherhood"?

As the saying goes, "parents are there, brothers and sisters are family; When parents leave, brothers and sisters are relatives and neighbors. "

This slightly sad sentence is to the effect that "parents are the spiritual bond between brothers and sisters, the spiritual wealth of the same family, and parents are treasures".

So, after parents leave, are brothers and sisters really relatives and neighbors in the secular sense? I don't think so:

Perhaps, the husband and uncle are relatives and the sister-in-law is a neighbor, but the brothers and sisters are definitely not relatives and neighbors.

Because there is a homesickness between them;

Because there are compatriots with the same natural temperament between them, they can "have a heart";

Because they have the same temperature and warmth, they have magical "telepathy";

Because between them, there is a young sense of honor and disgrace and youthful memories;

Because there is a blood relationship between them that transcends material interests;

-because between them, it is the relationship of affection, interest, empathy and recognition-the relationship of brothers and sisters!

So, not relatives or neighbors, no, really not!