20 13 all lines of Degang Guo crosstalk at the spring festival party!

Guo: Just now, the two hosts were very good. Li Yong and Zhu Jun are beautiful girls.

Y: two girls? What's that look?

Guo: Today is a good day.

Yes

Guo: New Year's Eve.

Yes

Guo: Spring is boundless, and Haiyan River is clear.

Y: oh?

Guo: It's the same every year, and it gets heavier every year. Only a great hero can subdue the tiger, and surrendering the dragon is the real hero. Full moon flowers make people live longer. Student Degang Guo greets my parents and wishes you a happy New Year!

Y: ok, that's a good word.

Guo: Come on, let the teacher say something.

Y: I can also say?

Guo: It's the Spring Festival. Say something auspicious.

Y: ok, ok, ok. I hope ...

K: Wait a minute. Which hospital?

What do you mean which hospital?

Guo: See if this man is funny.

Y: No, it's a big festival. ...

Guo: You lose face in one sentence.

Y: What's the matter with you?

Guo: I'm just kidding you!

Y: Just kidding.

Guo: Your IQ balance is obviously insufficient.

Y: huh?

Guo: Find a place to charge quickly.

Y: Where can I buy a card?

Guo: Speak loudly on this occasion.

Y: What should I say?

Guo: I'll teach you.

Y: you say.

Guo: Eh. I hope that the country will be rich and strong, the people will be safe, the grain harvest will be good, and the per capita GDG can be achieved. ...

Y: wait a minute. What is GDG?

Guo: What should it be?

Y: that's GDP.

Guo: What do you mean?

Yu: GDP.

Guo: That's right. You are talking about GDP.

Y: right.

Guo: I said.

Y: What is y:GDG?

Guo: That's it.

Y: huh? Is your name spelled completely?

Guo: I hope to be happy.

Y: You want to be happy.

Guo: You are happy, and I have to be happy.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Teacher Yu is very happy.

Y: I'm really fine.

Guo: I have a good life at home and my work is going well.

Yes

Guo: He often says, Yo, I'm a fairy now.

Y: almost.

Guo: I still sing with my family.

Y: What should I sing?

Guo: "Being an immortal will bring you endless happiness, family happiness, celebrating the New Year, perming, drinking and smoking. (Singing) "

Hello. I sang my feelings.

Guo: Everyone who is familiar with the teacher knows that Brother Qian has three hobbies.

Yes ...

Guo: Smoking, drinking and perming.

Y: it's so popular.

Guo: You know him too well.

Y: ha ha ha.

Guo: Brother Qian thinks this little hobby is very enjoyable and very happy.

Y: that's true.

Guo: What is happiness?

Y: you said ...

Guo: Fortunately, avoid being fierce; Research on happiness, wealth and longevity.

Y: put it this way.

Guo: Simply put, happiness is when people's desires are satisfied.

Y: oh. So are you satisfied?

Guo: I am on an unsatisfactory road.

Y: huh? Can't come back? What about you?

Guo: Work hard.

Y: ah.

Guo: I am a strong person.

Y: I can see that

Guo: In fact, I have done everything and business in these years!

Y: What do you do?

Guo: My biggest business is coal.

Y: this is not small.

Guo: That's right. Pingdingshan, Henan, produces coal from here and transports it to Datong, Shanxi.

Boy: You must pay for it.

Guo: I don't know when it will arrive. Why is it cheaper than me?

Y: Just say yes.

Guo: I just remembered that this is also the place of origin.

Y: right.

Guo: Get Datong's coal quickly and transport it to Pingdingshan.

Y: OK, you know these two producing areas, right?

Guo: In those years, the poor were all finished. Sleep without a bed.

Is it?

K: Cover it with a band-aid.

Y: huh? Where was this built? This?

Guo: Guy can't sleep at all.

Y: That's insomnia.

Guo: Stare at the ceiling.

Y: I can't sleep.

Guo: Oh, I can't help it.

Y: think of an idea.

Guo: You should count sheep when you sleep.

Y: This is one way.

Guo: A sheep, hum (hum).

Are you asleep? Well, it's called lack of sleep, okay?

Guo: I have always wanted to go to Shaanxi.

Y: What are you doing there?

Guo: Two terracotta warriors and horses were carried out and sold outside.

Y: wow. You want to pour the Terracotta Warriors?

Guo: That's right.

Y: That's impossible.

Guo: Why?

Y: First of all, it's illegal. There is also a Terracotta Warriors, which everyone counts every night.

Guo: Do you still count every night?

Y: Of course.

Guo: This is too high-tech.

Y: Is this still high-tech?

Guo: Yes, they are on duty at midnight.

Y: that's right.

Guo: The flashlight flashed in the middle of the night, No.45. ...

Audience: Here! ……

Y: wow.

Guo: There will be more than a dozen on the 45th. Have you seen it?

Y: OK, which ones are size 45?

Guo: It's just that there are two people who don't interrupt.

Y: then it's gone.

Guo: Yes, that makes sense. Hey? Are you and your father idle?

What are you doing?

Audience: Idle! ……

Y: Am I free or is my dad free? (to the audience)

Guo: No booing! You are all people with ID cards.

Y: ha ha ha.

Guo: If you are free, I will paste mud on your father and stand there.

Y: huh?

Guo: I made money to bring you here.

Y: Do you want to make no money?

Guo: The country will not suffer either.

Yes, and then we all died there.

Guo: This is a joke.

Y: Just kidding.

Guo: You said that private enterprises are not bad.

Yes

Guo: Just like my second uncle.

Your second uncle ...

Guo: Have you met my second uncle?

Y: I really didn't add it.

Guo: With a big back and a pair of glasses, it's great at work.

Y: oh?

Guo: Chairman, general manager, chief accountant and security guard.

Y: Why are you also the security chief?

Guo: That's right. Whoever makes comments will be hit.

Y: it's amazing. How much does it matter?

K: Not much. He is just a department-level cadre.

Y: not big?

Guo: Although it is not big, I always take my unit abroad for inspection.

Y: Oh, multinational companies.

Guo: He has a name, which is to emancipate the mind and broaden one's horizons.

Y: There is such a name.

Guo: Well, everyone went abroad by yacht.

Y: wow.

Guo: Yachts, seats! "Let's row (sing)."

Y: hi! Is this a yacht? This one?

Guo: I haven't been there either I don't understand. Anyway, the yacht is quite big.

Yes

Guo: I met pirates in Shanghai when I went abroad.

Y: that's dangerous.

Guo: Pirates of the Caribbean. With a gun, "Stop!" . Stop the yacht.

Y: that's right.

Guo: My second uncle wants to ask, why?

Y: that's right.

Guo: Want money!

Y: oh?

Guo: Everyone is afraid. My second uncle is fine. "Never mind, how much is it?"

Yes

Guo: "I want 500 thousand!" " ""Here you are 1 10,000, and give me an invoice of 2 million. "

Y: Wow, boy! What is this idea? This is!

Guo: The pirates are crying.

Is it?

Guo: You still make a lot of money.

Yes, he is at the end of his rope.

Guo: We can't compare with him.

Y: that's right.

Guo: But I have my own wishes.

What is your wish?

Guo: I hope I can succeed one day.

Y: oh?

Guo: I can earn a lot of money.

Y: rich.

Guo: I just spend money all my life!

Y: How can you spend money?

Guo: I will.

Y: just eat?

Guo: I have breakfast.

Y: I haven't had breakfast before!

Guo: I have fried dough sticks, sesame seeds, fried dough sticks, fried cakes and eggs. I put three eggs in the egg pie. If there is a problem, I will say that I am laundering money!

Y: I have never heard of it! Did you launder money by filling cakes with eggs?

Guo: Eat something good. Braised beef.

Y: this line.

Guo: Stewed chicken with mushrooms.

Y: not bad.

Guo: Braised ribs with scallion.

Y: ok.

Guo: Tell me, which bag shall I make?

Y: instant noodles.

Guo: As the old saying goes, it is better to meet people conveniently than to meet them conveniently.

Y: I haven't heard of it.

Guo: Hey, eat sugar and stick a straw to suck sugar.

Y: wow. How sweet.

Guo: What are you afraid of? I have money to buy mineral water.

Y: drink water.

Guo: Who is going to drink water in the yard now?

Y: clean the drinking water pipe.

Guo: I'll try mineral water, too. Tons of tons of tons, poof, water!

Y: nonsense! That's water.

Guo: Yes, chicken, duck, fish, seafood, pastry, fried sauce, one pot.

Y: ouch.

Guo: I have a flying egg. I smell it.

Y: it smells good.

Guo: Even the pot will be thrown away.

Y: Is that a smell?

Guo: Eating is not the thing, but dressing well is the key.

Y: Hey, clothes.

Guo: Hailong's hat, otter's coat, wolf's trousers, dog's vest, rex rabbit's mask and a big mink scarf.

What month are you from?

K: It is three volts in June.

Y: huh? Isn't it hot in this?

Guo: What are you afraid of? I have money. Eight people followed me with electric fans, followed by several chariots, two doctors holding me, followed by a stretcher, and a group of nurses waiting for me with boosters.

Y: Isn't that true? This is?

Guo: Rich!

Y: stop it. I can hear you. You are a typical black sheep!

Guo: What happened to the black sheep? I do. Why don't you eat, drink and buy some clothes?

Y: What else are you going to do?

Guo: I also bought a watch!

Y: see?

Guo: How fresh is it?

Y: What's wrong with the watch?

Guo: Not only dare to buy, but also dare to wear!

Y: wow.

Guo: I not only dare to wear it, but also dare to show it!

Y: ah.

Guo: Not only is it exposed, but I don't need to cover it! Not only do I not cover my face, but I am also very happy!

Y: Well, please don't wander around in your mind.

Guo: This big gold watch weighs about 20 Jin.

Y: This is a gold watch. Is this a water meter?

Guo: This arm wears 12 yuan.

Y: draw a row.

Guo: World famous watches.

Y: wow.

Guo: Hey, the 12 blocks are evenly arranged. For this 12 watch, my suit is half-sleeved.

Y: ok. This must be done alone.

Guo: Hey. Buy a mobile phone.

Y: mobile phone?

Guo: Buy the best mobile phone. Buy two.

Y: two?

Guo: One is in this room and the other is in that room.

Y: how?

Guo: Call yourself. Dialed "hello?" Put it down and run to the back room and grab it. "Hello, who are you?" Come back. "I'm Degang Guo." Run back to "I am also Degang Guo!"

Y: Isn't this nonsense?

Guo: "Oh, what a coincidence! I often contact you! "

Y: What's your regular contact?

Guo: Two!

Y: Do it yourself.

Guo: That's right. Buy a refrigerator.

Y: refrigerator?

Guo: Three-door refrigerator. The top is frozen, the middle is refrigerated, and the ash is dug out from the underground inner door.

Y: OK, I changed the stove. This is ...

Guo: Buy one washing machine and two!

Y: Are these two?

Guo: This is washed.

Y: What about the inside?

Guo: Accompany me.

Y: ok, it's still a draw.

Guo: Buy TV sets and 40 TV sets.

Y: why use it?

Guo: One channel is tuned to 1 channel, leaving a wall for the whole code. Sitting indoors is like sitting in an electric city.

Y: going to the electric city is not good for you.

Guo: On New Year's Eve, it is all set to Central 1.

Y: why?

Guo: There will be one tonight!

Y: hey.

Guo: Buy a car!

Y: and cars.

Guo: 13 drove the car.

Y: wow.

Guo: There are 15 drivers in it.

Y: Where are you sitting?

Guo: I ran behind.

Y: You must have a healthy body.

Guo: This can't be wrong. I am taking supplements.

Y: anything to add?

Guo: Pilose antler.

Y: ouch.

Guo: The whole rack of velvet antler. Ride on a deer and chew its head.

Y: boy. You must feed on blood.

Guo: There is a song that praises me for riding a deer.

Y: how to sing?

Guo: "I'll ride, little donkey (singing)". It is Avatar.

Y: two generations of love! I don't know anything.

Guo: Hey, let's eat. Cordyceps sinensis, ground into powder, cooked porridge.

Y: It's pickles.

Guo: Just right.

Y: just pickles.

Guo: Cut the ginseng into strips and dry it. Grab some spiced noodles, bring bowls and two bowls of withered forks.

Y: ok, this is the action of eating. Angry again

Guo: It's okay to be angry. Buy medicine. Just a bottle of motherwort cream and a dozen.

Y: Hey, that's a good idea.

K: Of course.

Y: You, stop. I have to talk about you.

Guo: Ah.

Y: There is an old saying that gold has no seeds and comes from a thrifty family. You can't live like this. Not like living!

Guo: Who do I live with? I am single. Who do I live with?

Y: huh?

Guo: Ah, that's right. How can I be single? I must marry a wife.

Y: I just remembered this.

Guo: Ah, right, right, right. I must marry a wife.

Y: right.

Guo: Who do you think I am going to marry?

Y: What do you mean by marrying a wife? You must marry someone who is not married.

Guo: Yes, find someone who is not married. When I asked, Teacher Yu had a younger sister.

Y: My sister?

Guo: Half-sister!

Y: That's none of my business.

Guo: I live in Antarctica.

Y: How far is it?

Guo: It's the princess.

Y: wow.

Guo: Princess Ayi Eupolyphaga!

Y: boy. Why are there any terrapin in such a cold place?

Guo: The princess has a crush on me.

Is it?

Guo: He said he would marry me.

Y: good.

Guo: It's called marrying. Do you know what marrying is?

Y: you said ...

Guo: I just don't want to sell it.

Y: Hi, two meanings.

Guo: The princess came out of the South Pole and came to me in a black car.

Y: Just a moment, please. The princess still takes a black car?

K: Cheap.

Y: maps are cheap.

Guo: The princess will meet you at the door. I'm just playing sword at the door.

Y: You've been playing dirty.

Guo: Where should I play?

Y: What do you mean, where to play? Practice sword.

Guo: I'm practicing being a bitch.

Y: You must be a bitch.

Guo: When the princess got off the plane, her eyes looked at me and she was very moved.

Is it?

Guo: Thank you, Princess. May all lovers get married. It's a foregone conclusion Don't miss the marriage.

Y: it's really boring.

Guo: The princess was also moved.

Y: she said ...

Guo: "I haven't paid for the car yet! (backward) "

Y: What's that smell?

Guo: Do black cars still dare to ask for money? Call the authorities and arrest him.

Y: thanks!

Guo: When he was arrested, the driver of the black car turned around and ran away.

Y: that's right.

Guo: When I was running, I was there.

What are you yelling about?

Guo: "I will come back again!" " "

Y: Well, the driver of the black car has become a big wolf.

Guo: Leave this car to me.

Y: What's this for?

Guo: Tie it in my inner compartment. 17 Open the door.

Y: Boy, add a few more sections.

Guo: "Come and look at our new house."

Y: Oh, a visit.

K: The fourth floor.

Y: great.

K: There are three floors underground.

Y: That's the bungalow!

Guo: Oh dear. Come and have a look. Two servants followed with globes.

Y: why?

Guo: Afraid of getting lost.

Y: as for no?

Guo: "Come, this is our living room, resplendent and magnificent."

Y: good.

Guo: Come on, let's have a look. What a great concern! There are celebrity calligraphy and painting on the wall.

Yes

Guo: The beauty, the landscape of Mi Yuanzhang, the fan of Liu Shi 'an, is the blessing of the baby.

Y: I have never heard of it!

K: A set of five.

Y: Is that Zheng Banqiao's?

Guo: Look at this side again. This is a couplet written by Emperor Qianlong himself.

Y: it says ...

Guo: A drop of wine from the driver makes two tears from the relatives.

Y: What a mess.

Guo: Come to this room again.

Y: What about this house? ...

Guo: This room is our bathroom.

Y: Oh, the bathroom.

Guo: There are two pools, one big and one small. There is no water for washing feet in the small pool.

Y: How can I wash my feet without water?

K: dry cleaning.

Yu: stare blankly.

Guo: The bath liquid in the big pool is milky white.

Y: what?

Guo: The princess wondered, "Is this fish soup? (backward) "

Y: I am so hungry.

Guo: She thought it was fish soup. Try it with a spoon, won't you? I said you give it to me and I'll try it. Hey, milk!

Y: wow.

Guo: A milk bath. You try again. She scooped me up, she scooped me up, and we both tasted half a pool.

Y: boy.

Guo: For the princess. 40 kg gold chain, 50 kg gold bracelet, 120 kg gold anklet.

Y: The princess is handcuffed. This is ... Isn't this caught?

Guo: Everything is aimed at spending money.

Y: just to spend money?

Guo: That's right!

Y: You can't do that. I'm telling you, wake up and stop dreaming. It's no use. There is an old saying that thrift is called, and failure is luxury. Such a good day makes you so accurate and defeated.

Guo: Me, can I still fail?

Y: of course

Guo: You call this bullying. I am willing to ruin my marriage, and I am willing to show off. That's my business.

Y: yourself?

K: Sure, I'll set a hundred tables for him.

Y: A hundred tables?

K: One hundred guests.

Y: married?

Guo: I think it is good.

Y: ah.

Guo: There are 200 tables in the restaurant next door.

Y: wow.

Guo: It's driving me crazy. I refuse to accept it.

Y: that's right.

Guo: I have to go and see it.

Y: have a look.

Guo: Why did he set 200 tables?

Yes

Guo: I took it when I went.

Y: why?

K: It's Public Offering of Fund.

Y: oh? Not your own money.

Guo: Annual meeting of the unit. There are 30 people and 200 tables in this unit.

Y: public funds can't be so bad.

Guo: The waiter is packing. As soon as I saw it, this garbage was delicious.

What must you eat?

Guo: Pork belly fried with pork belly, vinegar pork ribs, kidney, egg white lotus root and jellyfish mixed with belly are full of flavor. Four dishes are cool and four dishes are hot, and the delicacies are unparalleled (singing).

Y: What a waste!

Guo: I won't compete with him.

Y: no?

Guo: Just finish my 100 table.

Y: One hundred tables.

K: There are one hundred tables.

Y: How many people were invited?

Guo: Just one person.

Y: Why are you alone?

Guo: I have no friends or relatives.

Y: Don't you have a second uncle?

Guo: I have already dealt with it.

Y: how to deal with it

Guo: I'll deal with it when I come back from the sea.

Y: boy.

Guo: Anyway, a man who is also my friend came to me with a cup. "Brother, they all say that I am the black sheep of my family and don't want to play with me. You respected me when you came. I have a lot of money. You tell me what you are going to do. I will promise you everything, and I am willing to meet your requirements. "

Y: ok.

Guo: He was happy when I said it. "Don't say anything else. Give me back my taxi. "

Y: black car driver!