It is very popular for primary school students to treat and give gifts. How will you educate your children?

In China, it is common to treat guests and give gifts, which exists in all aspects of China society, such as relatives and friends and social relations. Guests and gifts between relatives and friends, some really have good feelings, show friendship and further contact feelings through guests and gifts; Others invite and return gifts in order to maintain the superficial relationship or because of human feelings and face. Social relations need to treat guests and give gifts, such as children's transfer, job transfer, evaluation of professional titles, promotion of cadres, salary increase, etc. This situation is mostly based on interests, in order to do things. Inviting guests and giving gifts involves not only inviting or not, but also considering the preciousness of inviting guests and giving gifts Faced with different people and things, the specifications are naturally different. If it's just a gathering between friends, feel free; If it is for learning, promotion and other major issues, it needs to be taken seriously.

There are great differences between western countries and China in treating guests and giving gifts. They generally don't like to give gifts to each other, except for birthdays or major festivals, and this kind of gift is limited to family members or close friends. In terms of entertaining guests, generally speaking, Americans treat guests to dinner, which belongs to the nature of official communication and is arranged in hotels and clubs, and the expenses are paid by the company; Only close relatives and friends are invited to have dinner at home. At home, their hospitality advocates frugality, no ostentation and informality. Americans will invite guests to dinner, but they don't necessarily ask them to invite them back. If there is an opportunity, you can invite them to your home for dinner. But after dinner, guests must not forget to express their special thanks to the host, especially the hostess.

So, what makes it normal for people in China to treat guests and give gifts? In the final analysis, this is the product of China's social culture. China's interpersonal relationship is based on the concept of destiny, familism and Confucian ethics, and the corresponding popularity, human feelings and human relations constitute the basic model of interpersonal relationship. Generally speaking, human feelings are the core, which shows the traditional China people's psychology and behavior based on family. The land in agricultural life can't be moved, and the common life in rural life and the blood relationship in family life lead China people to need long-term, stable and harmonious life and communication. In order to achieve these goals, China people have added feelings to their lives. At first, "human feelings" only happened between acquaintances, which was a non-economic relationship. Later, "close by relatives, friends by friends", the human relationship gradually turned from family to society, and everyone always liked to ask for help when encountering things, because they saw the social norm function of human feelings. From the perspective of social exchange theory, human feelings can be exchanged. In interpersonal communication, both sides can not only meet their own emotional needs, but also solve things that can't be done alone at the moment through communication. Treating guests and giving gifts is a way to realize human relations. People make each other feel the pressure of human feelings by giving gifts, so in return, the other party will try to sell themselves a favor and help. If you want to get more goodwill and face, you need to send more expensive gifts accordingly. For example, in the face of promotion opportunities and visiting sick friends, according to the social norms and functions of human feelings, the former is more advanced than the latter in the specifications of treating guests and giving gifts; For another example, in marriage, giving more bride price can show your strength invisibly and improve your face.

The behavior and norms of treating guests and giving gifts are not only the needs of human relations in China, but also the needs of maintaining face and the needs of a balanced model in interpersonal relationships. For example, several people compete for a promotion opportunity at the same time. If several of them treat them as gifts, then if the last person doesn't do so, even if he thinks he shouldn't treat them like this, he will feel psychological pressure, feel humiliated or be regarded as a difficult person, and may eventually force himself to give up his autonomy and go along with others. Moreover, in order to get this opportunity, it is better to be higher than the same type of people in the specifications of treating guests and giving gifts. If there is no competitive relationship, in order to maintain friendship at ordinary times, out of human feelings and face, for example, if a friend is ill in hospital and other friends of the same type go to see it, you also need to visit and give gifts, but the specifications can be similar to those of the same type, so just keep a balance.

Through the above analysis, we can see the relationship among human feelings, face and balance. The strategy of human feelings is to maintain the balance in the relationship network. It is manifested in the face behavior of individuals under certain standard pressure, and also in the face behavior in the relationship structure. Maintaining personal face is to maintain a balanced relationship, that is, to talk about human feelings. Once there is an imbalance, it means that some of them have lost face, or have not given face. Therefore, the social psychological mechanism of human feelings and face lies in the balance mode in interpersonal relationships.

In addition, there are other differences between China and the West in the behavior of treating guests and giving gifts. We know that treating guests and giving gifts is actually an exchange of human feelings, the maintenance of face, and a kind of interpersonal communication. Western interpersonal communication often has the characteristics of rationality, transience and discontinuity, and has the tendency of reciprocity. These characteristics stem from their individualistic values and the mobility of the population. China's interpersonal communication is the opposite. For example, after receiving a gift, we often give each other a slightly more expensive gift, which not only preserves face, but also leads to unclear human feelings and endless debts, thus enabling the two sides to continue their long-term exchanges.

Therefore, the interpersonal relationship in China society is actually a dynamic and balanced model.

To sum up, treating guests and giving gifts is valued by China people because its operation mode conforms to the social and cultural background of China, and it is a social exchange mode in a reasonable society. Treating guests and giving gifts can obtain unpredictable and immeasurable social resources. It is conceivable that in a society that emphasizes law, system and rationality, even if you want to play a role, there is not much room.