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Ancient etiquette

Etiquette is etiquette and ceremony.

In ancient China, there was a saying of "Five Rites", in which the sacrificial ceremony was auspicious, the wedding ceremony was a ceremony, the guest ceremony was a guest ceremony, the military ceremony was a military ceremony, and the funeral ceremony was a fierce ceremony. The content of the Five Rites is quite extensive, from the sacrificial ceremony reflecting the relationship between man and heaven, earth and ghosts and gods to the communication ceremony reflecting the interpersonal relationship between family, relatives and friends, monarch and ministers. From the coronation, marriage, funeral and burial ceremonies that show the course of life, to the celebrations, disasters and funerals, people express their congratulations, condolences, condolences and pensions, which can be said to be all-encompassing, fully embodying the ancient spirit of courtesy and justice of the Chinese nation. Li Ji is the hand of Five Rites, which are mainly sacrificial ceremonies for gods, earthly gods and ghosts. Its main contents can include three aspects. The first is to worship the gods, that is, worship the gods; Sacrifice the sun, moon and stars; Sacrifice middle school, life, wind teacher, rain teacher, etc. The second is land worship, that is, the worship of the country, the five emperors and the five mountains; Sacrifice to the mountains and rivers; Sacrifice everything and so on. Third, offering sacrifices to people and ghosts, mainly to enjoy the sacrifices to the ancestors and ancestors in spring, summer, autumn and winter. Fierce rites are ceremonies of mourning, condolence and worry. Its main contents are: mourning, mourning ceremony, mourning disaster, mourning defeat and confusion. Among them, the funeral is the death of different people, which expresses different degrees of going north through the funeral process at a specific time; Famine ceremony is an unfortunate experience of famine and plague in a certain region or country. The king and his ministers took measures such as reducing meals and stopping entertainment to express sympathy. Hanging ceremony is a kind of etiquette to express condolences to allies or friends in the event of death or fire and water disasters. These three manners can be served by nobles at all levels. The ceremony was that one of the allies was invaded by the enemy and the urban and rural areas were broken. Allies should work with other countries to raise funds and materials to compensate their losses. Compassion means that a country suffers from foreign aggression or civil strife, and neighboring countries should give assistance and support. Guest gift is a gift for receiving guests. It mainly includes worship, religion, pilgrimage, meeting, meeting, agreement, questioning and appreciation. During the military ceremony, the division and brigade performed conquest, and the military ceremony mainly included the ceremony of the commander-in-chief, the grand marshal, the field ceremony, the war ceremony and the big seal ceremony. The master's ceremony is the ceremony of army conquest; The ceremony of "Dapingization" was a military review held by the king and vassals when they shared the land equally and collected taxes to appease the people. The ceremony in Daejeon was that the emperor regularly hunted and practiced fighting and reviewed the military horses; The ceremony of the great battle is a team review during large-scale civil engineering such as building cities, palaces, rivers and dikes initiated by the state; The ceremony of sealing the country is an activity of surveying the boundaries between the state, private fiefs and fiefs and setting up boundary markers. Gifts are the etiquette of interpersonal relationship, communication and contact feelings. The main contents of the gift include the gift of eating and drinking, the gift of wedding crown, the gift of shooting guests, the gift of Yan, the gift of relief and the gift of He Qingzhi.

According to folklore, etiquette includes four kinds of life etiquette: birth, coronation, wedding and funeral. Actually, etiquette can be divided into politics and life. Politics includes offering sacrifices to heaven, land, ancestral temples, sages of teachers, drinking ceremony in the hometown of respecting teachers, meeting ceremony, military ceremony and so on. Xunzi believes that the origin of life etiquette is "three books", that is, "the foundation of heaven and earth", "the foundation of ancestors" and "the root cause of teachers" In etiquette, the funeral is the earliest. Funeral for the dead is to appease their ghosts, and for the living, respecting the old and loving the young, filial piety and virtue have become a kind of etiquette. In the process of the establishment and implementation of etiquette, the patriarchal clan system in China (see the patriarchal clan system in China) was born. The essence of etiquette is the way to govern people, and it is a derivative of the belief in ghosts and gods. People think that everything is manipulated by invisible ghosts and gods, and performing etiquette is to please ghosts and gods to get happiness. Therefore, etiquette originated from the belief in ghosts and gods, and it is also a special embodiment of the belief in ghosts and gods. The appearance of "Three Rites" (Yili, Li Ji and Zhou Li) marks the mature stage of etiquette development. In the Song Dynasty, etiquette was combined with feudal ethics and moral preaching, that is, etiquette and ethics were confused and became one of the effective tools to promote ethics. Salute serves to persuade morality, and red tape makes full use of it. It was not until modern times that the etiquette was truly reformed. Both the etiquette of national political life and the etiquette of people's life became the new content of the theory of no ghosts, thus becoming the etiquette of modern civilization.

Why is China a country of etiquette?

China has a civilization history of 5,000 years, and is known as "the state of etiquette". China people are also famous for their polite style. Etiquette civilization, as an important part of China traditional culture, has a wide and far-reaching impact on the social and historical development of China, and its content is very rich. Etiquette covers a wide range and permeates almost every aspect of ancient society.

However, for a long time, the essence and dross of a large number of etiquette culture are in a state of mutual penetration and coexistence, and the dross of etiquette culture has a negative effect that cannot be underestimated. We ignore the traditional etiquette and civilization, a precious spiritual wealth. For a long time, society and schools have not paid enough attention to etiquette education, and many uncivilized behaviors have also increased. In today's socialist spiritual civilization construction, we should base ourselves on absorbing the essence of national culture, make the traditional civilized etiquette serve the present and rebuild a set of modern civilized etiquette.

China people's moral image consciousness is practical, not original sin. Practicing moral image consciousness refers to treating moral image and behavior from the utilitarian point of view. This kind of moral consciousness requires that moral behavior bring social returns to individuals, but can't get benefits and returns from society. Then, people will temporarily put aside morality. In acquaintance society and private society, the subject of moral reward or punishment is concrete and practical, because moral behavior can bring practical benefits and establish a good reputation and image. When you want to help, people with good moral image can get help from relatives and friends, but this moral consciousness is opportunistic. Once in the public sphere, moral behavior can't directly bring people predictable material and spiritual returns because it faces a stranger's society.

China has a civilization history of 5,000 years, and is known as "the state of etiquette". China people are also famous for their polite style. Etiquette civilization, as an important part of China traditional culture, has a wide and far-reaching impact on the social and historical development of China, and its content is very rich. Etiquette covers a wide range and permeates almost every aspect of ancient society.

"Li" and "Li" in ancient China are actually two different concepts. "Rite" is a system, a rule and a social consciousness. "One" is the concrete expression of "Li" and a set of systematic and complete procedures based on the provisions and contents of "Li".

In ancient China, etiquette was derived from the clan system and the relationship between nobility and inferiority in order to meet the needs of the society at that time, so it had the characteristics and limitations of that era. Today, modern etiquette is very different from ancient etiquette. We must abandon the etiquette norms that serve the exploiting classes and focus on the traditional civilized etiquette that still has positive and universal significance today, such as respecting the elderly, respecting the virtuous, being polite to others, and being neat and tidy. , and to transform and inherit. This is of modern value for cultivating good personal qualities, coordinating harmonious interpersonal relationships, shaping civilized social atmosphere and building socialist spiritual civilization.

Now try to describe it as follows:

First, respect the elderly.

In China, from primitive society to feudal society, the political and ethical relationship between people is linked by the blood relationship between clan and family, so we respect our ancestors in the family and our elders in the society. Because the ancient society of China respected the rule of courtesy and benevolent governance, respecting the virtuous became a historical requirement.

Mencius said, "When Jie Jun is in power, there will be celebration" (Note: "Mencius? Under the accusation "). Celebration is a kind of reward. This ancient traditional etiquette has played an important role in the formation of warm interpersonal relations and orderly and harmonious ethical relations, both in the past and now.

When it comes to respecting the elderly, this is a major feature of China's traditional culture. Respecting the elderly in ancient times did not stop at thinking and preaching, nor did it stop at the lives of ordinary people. From the monarch, the gentry to the whole official and gentry class, a set of rules for respecting the elderly and a ritual system for supporting the elderly are being practiced and formed.

"Book of Rites" records: "The ancient way, fifty is not a disciple, the elders give it" (Note: "Book of Rites? Sacrifice righteousness "). In other words, people over the age of 50 can not go hunting, but they should get a rich share in the distribution of prey. Some ancient books also made clear requirements for the volume when talking to the elderly. For example, "Reading while Raising" said: "It is easy to calm your voice when you serve your parents. Don't yell at them because of trivial things "(note:" read when you are educated? Words "). Disciples' Rules also said: "You should not be humble and ignorant. "

In a word, from kings and nobles to Shu Ren people, they should follow certain rules and express their filial piety to their elders in various ways, which is an important symbol to measure whether a person has self-cultivation.

Any form of society needs to respect the elderly. Not only because the elderly have deep experience, wide knowledge and experience, long working hours and great contribution to society, they deserve respect; At the same time, they are physically and mentally poor and need the thoughtfulness, care and help of young people. As a polite modern youth, for the sake of the elderly and the elderly, Lu Yu should humbly give up his seat by bus. In shops, theaters and other public places, we should try our best to create convenient conditions for the elderly.

During the Three Kingdoms period, there was an allusion about respecting the virtuous, which was called "three visits to the thatched cottage". It is said that Liu Bei appreciated Zhuge Liang's talent and asked him to help him conquer the world, so he took the trouble to personally invite him out of the mountain and live in Zhuge Liang's thatched cottage. Zhuge Liang agreed repeatedly. Since then, Zhuge Liang's great wisdom and courage have been fully exerted and he devoted himself to Liu Bei's career.

Throughout the ancient history of China, most monarchs who made achievements attached great importance to respecting and using the virtuous, and regarded it as a decisive factor of national security. If you don't respect the sages at ordinary times, they won't share their worries for the country in an emergency. It's not that talented people don't think about the country, but that the country can't forget scholars for a long time, so "people who can survive in their own country never exist" (Note: "Mozi? Dear ").

Today, we advocate carrying forward the ancient "ceremony of respecting the sages", and we must give the modern new concept of talents the content of respecting knowledge and talents.

In today's society, all kinds of competition are becoming more and more fierce. All kinds of competition, in the final analysis, is the competition of talents. To maintain an advantageous position in the fierce competition, we must have a strong talent team. Only by respecting and caring for talents from thoughts to concrete actions can the whole society form a good environment for respecting knowledge and talents, and form a strong enough talent team to be invincible.

Second, the instrument is still suitable.

The Chinese nation has always paid attention to expressing people's rich inner feelings through appropriate forms. There are many established ceremonies for major festivals and events. If you get a bumper harvest, you should celebrate it with songs; When you are in trouble, pray for the blessing of the gods. Over time, many festivals and etiquette forms have been formed, such as Spring Festival, Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Double Ninth Festival. Almost every festival has its own specific customs.

In ancient times, weddings, funerals, celebrations and other activities were regarded as major events in social life, and their etiquette was particularly meticulous, with specific provisions from clothing and utensils to specifications, procedures and etiquette.

Today, the most important thing for us to maintain and carry forward the excellent etiquette civilization of the Chinese nation is propriety. That is to say, as Cheng Cheng advocated, "luxury is born in literature, and excessive literature is luxury, but not enough for frugality" (Volume 6 of Cheng Cheng Cheng Ji Shi Cheng Wai Shu). It can be seen that the scale of etiquette is appropriate and proper decoration is necessary, but excessive decoration will cause extravagance and waste, which deviates from the requirements of etiquette; It is also inappropriate to be too stingy and hinder the implementation of the ceremony. This view of the ancients is very incisive and has a guiding role for us to hold various ceremonies today.

In today's social activities, it is still indispensable to hold various ceremonies. Companies open, children get married, and various festivals have different ceremonies. If we want to grasp the scale of various ceremonies, we must grasp the principle of moderation and combine the necessary ceremonies with modern civilization. Related activities are both grand and flashy. In particular, we should oppose extravagance and waste by taking advantage of weddings, funerals and celebrations; Oppose the view that the more grand the ceremony, the better and the more luxurious it is. Nowadays, many newlyweds are heavily in debt, which makes the wedding ostentatious, deceptive and jealous, causing great waste. Even some leading cadres, regardless of the influence, use power for personal gain for their children and accept large amounts of gifts to help their children grow up in luxury. This is not in line with our fine tradition, nor with our national conditions and people's feelings.

Third, be polite to others.

In any civilized society and civilized nation, people always attach great importance to politeness. Because politeness is one of the moral norms of human society to promote friendly and harmonious interpersonal communication, and it is also a bridge to build harmony with others. It marks the civilized process of a society and reflects the spiritual outlook of a nation. The Chinese nation has always attached great importance to observing etiquette rules and being polite to others. These interesting experiences, past and present, are very enlightening. Specifically, there are two main points:

(a) Be kind to others

Get along with others, be a good person first. And this "goodness" should be sincere from the heart, sincere in the middle and formal in appearance, not rhetoric and red tape. The Book of Rites says, "Those who treat their husbands with courtesy are ashamed of themselves and respect others" (Note: The Book of Rites? Qu Lishang "). It is not enough if you are respectful and enthusiastic on the surface, but hypocritical on the inside, or just respectful on the inside, but without expression. Should be consistent in appearance, in order to fundamentally eliminate the barriers and frictions between people, and then respect and care for each other and get along well with each other.

To respect others, we must treat others equally, regardless of rank or rank. If you only pay homage to the upper class, take people with financial power and take people with interests, it is actually what villains do. The Analects of Confucius? Zi Han: Confucius saw people wearing mourning clothes, hats and clothes, and blind people. As soon as they met, even if these people were young, Confucius would stand up. When walking in front of others, you must walk very fast to show your respect.

The ancients also had some ways to respect others. First of all, we should respect the wishes of others, understand their needs and taboos, and don't force others to do so. Don't ask others to do what they can't do, and don't ask others to accept what they don't like. The ancients said: "Don't blame others for not doing as well as yourself, don't be too strong on others, and don't suffer because others are not good" (Note: "Wen Zi? Wei Xiang). "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you (Note: The Analects? Yan Yuan ")", that's what it means. Humor and well-meaning jokes can often bring people relaxed and happy in the communication with people, but never make fun of them. It is very disrespectful to make jokes about other people's names or give them indecent nicknames. In the Northern and Southern Dynasties, Yan Zhitui once commented on this disrespect and resentment: "Fools in this world play with each other. Or those who are called dolphins and calves, knowledgeable, onlookers, and want to cover their ears, the situation is right. "

(2) Reciprocity

Politeness is an important criterion for being polite to others. In other words, to accept the kindness of others, we must reciprocate with the same courtesy. In this way, interpersonal communication can go on in a virtuous circle in an equal and friendly way. Therefore, the Book of Rites said: "It is indecent to return the courtesy, but not to come; It is impolite to come instead of going "(Note: Book of Rites? Qu Lishang ").

For the benefactor, it should be a drop of water, and the spring will repay each other. In the eyes of the ancients, nothing hurts more than ingratitude. Confucius said, "Good for good will persuade the people"; "Return evil for good, then those who are punished will also be punished (Note: Book of Rites? Table "). It can be seen that "repaying kindness with kindness" is the basic moral cultivation of treating people with things. Of course, the politeness of communication should also be moderate. The original intention of giving gifts is to show respect and answer. The so-called gifts are light and heavy, not the more the better. Just like Zhuangzi? "Mountain Wood" said: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between villains is as good as ever; A gentleman is indifferent to his relatives, but a villain is willing to give up. Joining for no reason will also leave for no reason. "

Fourth, the instrument has integrity.

A person's appearance and behavior are the expression of his accomplishment and civilization. The ancients believed that dignified manners, moderation in advance and retreat, respect for deacons and proper manners can not only safeguard personal dignity, but also help to learn morality. Ancient thinkers once compared the fur of animals with the appearance of people. Birds and beasts can't be animals without fur. People lose their manners, that is, they are not people.

The ancient people's requirements for musical instruments are inevitably too complicated. The most important of these are the following three aspects.

(1) Dress and appearance: Disciple's rules require: "The crown must be straight, the knot must be tied, and the socks and shoes must be tight." These norms are still necessary for modern people. Proper knotting of hats and strict cutting of shoes and socks are the basic requirements of the concept of musical instrument category. If a person is disheveled and his shoes and socks are not straight, it will often make people feel disgusted or even disgusting. Who will be close to such a person? Of course, the dress must be suitable for your occupation, age, physiological characteristics, living environment and the customs of the people you contact, and make a decent and generous choice. Make-up and affectation will only backfire.

(2) Behavior: Confucius said: "A gentleman is not strong if he is not heavy, and his knowledge is not solid" (Note: The Analects of Confucius? Learn and "). This is because only Zhuang Zhong has dignity. Otherwise, even if you study, you can't consolidate it. The specific requirements are "stand like a pine, sit like a bell, walk like the wind and lie like a bow", that is, stand straight, sit steady, move neatly and sleep sideways. Don't profane in public, but be solemn, cautious and calm, and do "see no evil, don't listen to indecent assault, don't speak indecent assault, don't move indecent assault" (Note: The Analects of Confucius? Yan yuan), in line with etiquette norms everywhere.

(3) Speech rhetoric: Language is a mirror of people's thoughts, emotions and cultural accomplishment. The ancients said that "words are sincere, so it is also a career" (Note: "Yi? Dry text "). It makes sense to take sincere revision of words as the foundation of career. But to "keep your word" (Note: The Analects? Lutz "). It is impossible to win the trust of a glib person. The second is to be cautious. The ancients said that man was born for heaven, and his tongue was tightly wrapped with two rows of teeth, and his lips were covered with a thick layer, which means that people must be careful what they say. Of course, the ancients did not ask people to talk less, but to speak according to the specific situation. Speak when you speak, and be silent when you are silent. Confucius said: "If you can speak without words, you will lose people;" "Don't talk to it in words, make a gaffe. He who knows does not lose people, nor does he lose words "(Note: The Analects of Confucius? Wei Linggong "). That's the truth.

The above aspects are the essence of traditional etiquette in China. Although the times have changed, the ancients' attention to gfd and their requirements for neatness and beauty are still worth learning today. External image is a silent language, which reflects a person's moral cultivation and also conveys a person's internal attitude towards the whole life. He has an elegant appearance. Wherever he goes, he brings the spring breeze of civilization there and is respected by people.

There is no doubt that traditional etiquette civilization has a positive impact on the social and historical development of our country. Generally speaking, the more civilized and polite people are, the more harmonious and stable society will be. If each of us is well educated, polite and disciplined, our life will be happier, and the country and society will be more orderly and civilized. From this perspective, etiquette has played a role that politics and law can't.

For a long time, the essence and dross of a large number of etiquette culture are in a state of mutual penetration and coexistence, and the dross of etiquette culture has a negative effect that cannot be underestimated. We ignore the traditional etiquette and civilization, a precious spiritual wealth. For a long time, society and schools have not paid enough attention to etiquette education, and many uncivilized behaviors have also increased. In today's socialist spiritual civilization construction, we should base ourselves on absorbing the essence of national culture, make the traditional civilized etiquette serve the present and rebuild a set of modern civilized etiquette.