A Brief Analysis of Good Family Education Papers (Ⅱ)

The second paper on good family education "On the Construction of Good Family Education Model"

Abstract: Family education should not only be guided by correct educational ideas and principles, but also be implemented through scientific methods. This paper focuses on the analysis of the common problems in the family education model and various factors that lead to these problems, and puts forward strategies to change the family education model, advocates the construction of a democratic family education model, and cultivates children's sound character.

Keywords: parents' and children's family education

First, the problems existing in the current family education mode and their causes.

There are many problems in family education, which are caused by many factors. Parents' incorrect educational concept is the main reason. In addition, parents' own quality, education level and the overall family life environment all affect the adoption and implementation of family education methods. Especially the one-child family, the whole family has only one child. The more you pay attention to it, the easier it is to have problems in real life. How to educate children is the main problem of the whole family. Family members have different experiences and ideas, and there will be different ways in the process of education.

(A) spoiled, leading to children's willfulness and arrogance.

At present, there are many one-child families in China. In such a family, parents have only one child. As the old people often say, I'm afraid of falling into my hand and putting it in my mouth. At home, they follow him with everything and can pick the stars in the sky almost at any time. It can be said that it is responsive to children. Some parents are eager for their only child to rely more on themselves emotionally to ensure a reliable and comfortable old age. They have relaxed their responsibility for children's education, encouraged their selfish and willful character, and acted overbearing and lacked control. This is a doting parent.

When children grow up in such a family, it is easy to form a self-centered character. They act as little emperors and little princesses at home. Kindergarten chooses seats and beds, eager to get the attention of teachers and so on. When playing with children, I also hope that everyone will let him, without forming the habit of helping others and always being unreasonable. They have formed this habit at home, and everyone revolves around him. When they leave home for school or live in society, others can't treat them like their parents. They will feel lost and helpless, and their personality will easily arouse others' resentment, which is very unfavorable to their growth and work.

(2) Overprotection leads to children's lack of exercise.

Some parents, in the process of raising their children, lack correct views, take inappropriate actions, and do everything for their children, making ends meet and being naked. Not to mention helping parents, it basically belongs to life and can't take care of itself. Parents simply don't let their children do what they can and should do. Originally, children in kindergarten are naturally fond of playing, sports, running and jumping, and have strong curiosity and adventurous spirit. However, for the sake of children's safety and fear of bumps and bumps, our parents simply don't let their children go out to play, for fear that something will happen to them. This can't be done, and that can't be done, from eating to wearing, from the inside out.

Children educated in this way are generally weak in character. They can't do many things that their peers can do, and they can't play games that everyone can play. Under the protection of parents, after attending kindergarten, primary school and middle school, I gradually got rid of my peers and gained influence, because you can't play, because you dare not play, and everyone rejects you. Not growing up with people of the same age is not conducive to the social development of children. There are many people who can't wash clothes in college, and many children need their parents to study with them. Such children lack exercise, which is not conducive to cultivating their character to overcome difficulties and their ability to deal with practical affairs.

(3) The expectation is too high and the education method is improper.

Parents want their children to be all right, but they lack a correct evaluation of their children and can't locate them scientifically. Some parents impose their wishes on their children, their unfulfilled ideals on their children, and let them realize their dreams for themselves. Some parents guide their children with what they think is useful and good, regardless of their hobbies and abilities. Parents have high standards and strict requirements for their children. Expect your son to succeed and your daughter to succeed? There is nothing wrong with this, but at present, many parents have entered the misunderstanding of high expectations: First, regardless of their children's reality, they blindly put forward too high and too strict requirements for their children, which sometimes goes against the law of children's growth and development and is not conducive to their physical and mental development. For example, letting children learn to play the piano too early is not good for their finger muscle development. Second, the psychological comparison is serious. When you see other people's children, you must ask your own children to do the same. Third, wisdom is valued over morality, and knowledge learning is valued over ability training. Some parents believe that as long as their children have good academic performance and high intelligence, they will have a bright future. Who knows that inappropriate expectations will have the opposite effect.

Expectations are too high, parents accompany them, invite tutors, and enroll their children in cram schools. Children usually reach for clothes and mouth, and their self-care ability is poor, and their ability to live independently is not strong. As a result, children often become high-scoring machines, and the basic qualities and abilities such as will, quality, emotion and interpersonal communication to maintain their survival and life are not developed and improved, resulting in high scores and low energy. Parents demand too much of their children: no communication, no fun, and early education is set to learn computers, applications, playing the piano, calligraphy and so on. Children leave their childhood world prematurely, which greatly hinders their healthy growth. Once children's growth does not meet their expectations, some parents will go to the other extreme, or get angry with their children, accuse them and abuse them rudely; Or give up the normal and necessary family education and let it go, thinking that the child is hopeless and not giving the child a normal education. More importantly, under the pressure of parents' long-term high expectations, children's psychological and emotional repression for a long time may eventually lead to their psychological distortion, abnormal behavior or even more serious consequences.

Parental education is inconsistent.

In the one-child family, there are more inconsistencies in family education because of the special status of children. What is the most common phenomenon? Dad fights, mom protects, grandparents fight? Phenomenon. In a big family, everyone loves children, but in different ways, fighting is also for children, and protecting is also for children. The old man is completely used to children. Generally, children are spoiled by the elderly more than their parents. Between grandparents and parents, there are often differences in educational concepts, educational attitudes and ways of disciplining children, which leads to inconsistency. Inconsistent demands of parents on their children will also cause contradictions and weaken the educational effect, because grandparents always think that their sons should listen to him, and even cause family disputes because of their children's educational problems.

Most one-child families belong to the nuclear family, that is, there are only two generations of parents and children in the family. Parents' educational requirements are inconsistent, mainly as follows: one should be managed and the other should be released; One should be strict, and the other should be wide. Sometimes the husband and wife deliberately play black and white faces in front of the children. If you think that the most effective way of education is to beat and pull him, coax and scare him, it is all wet. Children who grow up in this atmosphere can easily have two sides. Inconsistent demands of parents are often accompanied by differences and quarrels between parents. Although quarreling can try to avoid children, differences can't avoid children's eyes. This kind of disagreement will create an educational vacuum for children, and children are often very good at taking advantage of this loophole. As soon as they were disciplined, they ran to the other side to complain; Being punished, he ran to the other side to make love. In addition, children will have different views and attitudes towards their parents. Because parents' educational requirements are inconsistent, children will mistakenly think that some parents love him and some don't; Some people protect him, while others always punish him. So children will have different views and attitudes towards their parents.

Inconsistency in education has a more important influence on children's character. Generally, children who grow up in such a family are easy to develop a double-faced personality. It's the same in front of my father and grandfather, and they all learned to say good things on both sides. Such a child is easy to develop a two-faced personality. Children who grow up in such an environment will also show such a tendency when interacting with others in the future.

Second, build a good family education model.

(A) Parents to establish a correct concept of education

What kind of thoughts will lead to what kind of actions. As a concept, educational concept dominates parents' educational behavior. It is very important for parents to educate their children to establish a correct educational concept. If the concept is correct, there will naturally be corresponding correct ways and actions in the process of educating children. The construction of a good family education model is inseparable from the correct family education concept.

The existing incorrect educational concepts directly lead to incorrect educational methods, such as attaching importance to intellectual education and neglecting moral education, so that parents only care about their children's learning, but are too indulgent in other aspects and too strict with their children's learning requirements. Others expect too much from their children, ignoring the laws of their physical and mental development and putting a heavy burden on them prematurely.

In short, the incorrect educational concept is the main reason for the incorrect educational methods. In order to build a good family education model, we must establish a correct educational concept.

(2) Love children moderately.

It is parents' nature to love their children, but parents should also put forward appropriate requirements for their children while loving them. In daily life, children often make many unreasonable demands. If our parents spoil and indulge their children too much, they will give them whatever they want. Over time, once the children grow up, they are not satisfied with higher and higher material enjoyment and lack the ability to restrain themselves with moral standards, they will easily embark on the road of crime. Therefore, our parents should give support and encouragement to their children's correct words and deeds and reasonable requirements. Not only can they not meet their requirements for incorrect words and deeds, but they should also patiently persuade and educate their children to understand the truth of being a man. This is the real love for children.

(c) Parents should maintain the consistency of requirements for early childhood education.

Children in modern families are all only children, and their elders include parents, grandfathers, grandmothers, grandfathers and so on. First of all, our elders must unify their understanding when educating their children, and overcome the wrong view that when children grow up, they will naturally understand. Especially now, grandparents are particularly fond of their grandchildren and obedient. They often say that they should do this for small things, but grandparents say that they can't do this or that. The contradiction between the elders has caused the children to be at a loss and lack a correct view of right and wrong, so our parents must maintain the consistency of education. Only in this way can education form children's good character and conduct. For example, if a child makes a mistake, our parents should criticize and reason in a unified way, and never let parents criticize him, while the elders stand up and help the child.

In the nuclear family, parents should also maintain the consistency of education and establish their parents' prestige. At the same time, the consistency of parents' educational requirements is beneficial for children to distinguish right from wrong and know good and evil, which plays an important role in the formation of children's good personality.

(4) Effectively implement democratic family education.

We should advocate democracy, but we should pay attention to the fact that the democracy practiced by some families now is a disguised form of doting. Parents think that letting children participate is democracy, but if they respect children's demands too much, they will be responsive.

Sun Yunxiao, a well-known expert on adolescent issues, said: Through a number of national child surveys, it is found that the one-child families in contemporary cities can be divided into six types: doting, negating, democratic, overprotective, laissez-faire and interfering, among which the democratic education model is the most conducive to children's growth. Children who grow up in such a family have a high degree of self-acceptance, and the corresponding self-confidence, self-esteem and desire for achievement are also relatively strong, and it is easy to form innovative spirit and practical ability that dare to speak and do. On the contrary, parents often blame and scold their children, scolding them more than encouraging them. Children who grow up in such a family have a low degree of self-acceptance, are always willing to live downstream, and often have fear and hopelessness about their future. Such inferiority complex will often adversely affect their participation in social competition in the future.

The attitude of democratic parents towards their children is reasonable and gentle. They stand in the position of guidance and help, set reasonable standards and explain the truth. Respect children's autonomy and hobbies, but also insist on their own reasonable requirements; It not only highly controls children, but also actively encourages children to love life and develop independently.

This kind of parenting style is used more by parents abroad than at home, so we should learn more from it. Research shows that this kind of parenting family can first give children a sense of security, and children feel reliable in it. Secondly, it satisfies the child's sense of belonging. In the family, children can feel love and respect, and also learn how to love others, thus enhancing self-esteem and self-confidence. In addition, a warm family can give children a sense of support, and when children hesitate, hesitate or encounter difficulties and setbacks, they can draw strength from family care and get guidance.

We should now educate many of our parents to educate our children in a democratic way. Our parents love their children for their own good. Only when they realize the importance of children's education in concept and use good educational methods can they be conducive to children's growth. Only in this way can we live up to the parents' concern for their children and be good for their growth.

References:

Liu Chunmei. On the socialization development of the only child. Puyang Pedagogy Journal, April 2002.

[2] Ceng Ying. Educational strategies to promote children's sharing behavior. Journal of xihua university, 2005,65438+February.