Experiencing Japanese funerals first hand, how much Japanese funeral etiquette is there

Japan is a country that attaches great importance to funeral etiquette, which is why traditional funeral rites are still popular today.

Taking Tokyo as an example, funeral rites are usually held in two days in one's own home. Everything is arranged by a relative of the deceased or someone from the organization. This person first has to discuss the details with all the relatives and the funeral company that will organize the funeral, and the day is chosen with Buddhist precepts in mind. After the date is set, the people concerned are notified separately. Notification of the day of the "night" (vigil), the day of the "farewell ceremony". The farewell ceremony is usually held on the day after the vigil, usually at noon.

Relatives, neighbors, and unit leaders attend the vigil and the farewell ceremony, and are required to wear black dresses. The average person only has to go once on the day of the farewell ceremony.

The decorations for both the all-night and farewell ceremonies are the same, though they are divided into several grades, and which grade of decoration is used depends on the amount of money paid by the mourners, and has no relation to the deceased's status in life.

The altar usually has three tiers, with a black-and-white photo of the deceased above the center, flanked by lotus lamps, flower baskets, flowers and fruit. The coffin is placed in the forefront, with details varying depending on the Buddhist denomination.

Tongyi was originally just a ceremony attended by relatives and neighbors. It is usually held from around 6pm. In recent years it is common for relatives and friends to come and burn incense on the day of the through-night as well. This way the next day's farewell ceremony can be left out. No matter what day of the week you go, you should bring money to burn incense. Neighbors can contribute less money because they want to help. The average person pays about 5,000 to 10,000 yen per visit. On the night of the festival and on the day of the farewell ceremony, someone is in charge of collecting the money and keeping a record of it.

After the monk has finished reciting the sutra, neighbors and relatives have a meal together. Some people do it twice. Once are relatives and unit leaders. Once are neighbors. Others will have another meal after they return from the crematorium. After the people attending the all-nighter have left, the immediate family members take shifts to guard the body of the deceased all night long and keep burning incense.

The next day's "Farewell Ceremony" also features monks chanting sutras. Relatives sit in front of the altar, as they did all night, while others generally stand outside. After the ceremony, the body is taken to the crematorium, escorted by relatives. It is estimated that Japanese people spend a national average of 2,080,000 yen on funerals. Of this amount, 520,000 yen is paid to monks for chanting sutras, and 430,000 yen is paid for meals at the congregation.