ICPS training, which is popular all over the world-effectively cultivating children's social skills

A few days ago, my daughter Haha Chi (5 years old) went to the park to play with the children in the class after school, but we had to leave early because we had an English class at 6: 30. The child was very unhappy and began to cry on the road.

After class and tacos, she told me that she didn't want to take (online) English any more and asked me to cancel all her classes.

Yesterday, we had another conversation on this issue:

Comparing the two conversations before and after, they all said the same question, but the effect was completely different. The latter conversation is a conversation with my children after I learned about ICPS training.

Social training (interpersonal cognitive problem solving) for children with ICPS, which is popular all over the world, was put forward by Mona B. Shure, a famous American psychologist. Cognitive behavior training based on cognitive behavior theory is a classic and effective social training system for children. Later, because the term was too academic, it was abbreviated as "I can solve problems". The abbreviations are the same. They are all ICPS people.

To be exact, ICPS is an effective thinking training, which enables children to find various solutions when they encounter social conflicts, consider the consequences more calmly, understand the feelings of others, and improve their social adaptability. Children trained by ICPS can not only get along with others better, but also grow into a person with strong social skills and full of confidence.

Six groups of important words: yes/no, and/or, some/all, before/after, now/after, same/different.

By consciously teaching children to use these six groups of words, we can help them to establish a variety of ways of thinking, teach them to observe the differences before and after their actions, and let children know that their actions will have an impact on others and dare to solve problems by themselves.

Common words are: happy, sad, angry, proud, depressed and lonely.

These words can help children learn to recognize emotions and understand the feelings of others.

Method 1:

Watch the picture game. When watching pictures or cartoons with children, always ask your children how the people in the pictures feel. What is the mood of the people in the picture? For example, how did Logger Vick feel when he was bullied by a bear?

Method 2:

Understand the feelings of others. Teach children to observe the feelings of others in life, and let them identify emotional words such as happiness, sadness, anger, pride and depression.

Method 3:

Discuss feelings. Discuss with your child his own feelings and those of others, instead of judging his feelings.

Learn more advanced phrases: appropriate/inappropriate, if/then, maybe/maybe, why/because, fair/unfair.

Teach children to make sentences with these words. When children can skillfully use these advanced words, there will be more ways to solve problems.

Method:

Cosplay

Parents and children play role-playing games to solve problems or restore what happened during the day.

kodomo no omocha

Play other children with dolls and play problem-solving games.

Try to play games.

Treat every contradiction as a game to find a way out. These things are the steps for children to grow up.

My daughter always interrupts my conversation with others. I will tell her, "please wait while mom is talking to others, and don't interrupt us." But this is not effective.

Now my method is:

"Can I talk to you and my aunt at the same time?" (Prompt to think about facts)

"How do you think I would feel if you interrupted me when I was talking to menstruation?" (prompting thinking and feeling)

"I know you want to play with me. When I finish talking to my aunt, I will listen to you. Can you think of something different to do now? " (Prompt thinking and action)

1, don't tell your child what to do directly.

It is children, not adults, who must solve the problem. In order to make your child think, you should only ask questions. The most important thing is to avoid telling children what to do or not to do. For example, tell him "Don't make noise", "Don't draw on the wall" and "Don't grab things". Even if you explain patiently, it is impolite to make such a noise. The picture on the wall can't be erased. Learn to share. In fact, you are thinking of the children.

2, only emphasize the facts and feelings, not evaluation.

The purpose of ICPS is to teach children a way of thinking, which can help them deal with general interpersonal problems. If you are eager to judge their ideas, or even praise an idea, you may inhibit your child from further thinking about other solutions. Criticism will make children unwilling to speak their inner thoughts freely. In both cases, children will switch from thinking about solutions and consequences to choosing an approach that can be recognized by you. Facts and feelings are certain, and thinking based on them will not deviate from the direction.

3. Pay attention to the process of thinking rather than the conclusion.

Focus on the thinking process, not the specific conclusions. Understand children's views on this issue. Once you know your child's views on the problem, try to restrain yourself and don't shift the focus of the problem to meet your own needs.

ICPS is an effective way to raise children. I hope every family can understand and use it to make children's social skills develop healthily.