What is the definition of a lady?

The meaning of a lady's temperament and demeanor is absolutely different from the traditional ethical terms in China. It is the unique charm of women in appearance, speech, manners, thinking and behavior habits under the new historical conditions, and truly shows the pure and sincere personality charm of women. A lady bound by China's traditional ethics is not worth advocating, because it obliterates the charm and value that women deserve. The lady we advocate today is a lady who does not lose the value of modern society on the basis of traditional virtues, and is a new woman under the background of new civilization, new culture and new era. Advocating being a lady is better than advocating being a "savage girlfriend" or "being a woman". This is not to say that retro retrogression, anachronism and restraint of individuality, but to make women more individual, attractive and tasteful, and restore their true colors. A lady must first show elegance in temperament. Cao Xueqin's daughters in the Red Chamber are all blue confidants and brilliant. Among them, the sentimental Lin Daiyu is the most representative. Sister Lin is not only the representative of being a daughter, but also the image of a lady. For Daiyu, her virtuous side shows elegance. If an elegant woman can be called "Daiyu", it means that she is a more feminine woman first. Daiyu, artistic and melancholy, likes reading and writing. She is outstanding in talent and looks, superior to others, and has an extremely persistent pursuit of love. Sick, congenital deficiency, walking like a weak willow; Daiyu kept her virginity and abided by the creed of "leading an honest and clean life". "Black jade" "I sing sadly, I want to smoke" "Xie Feihua is flying all over the sky, and who has pity if the red disappears?" This smoky, poetic, classic-reading woman, holding a handkerchief and gently covering her lips, attracted many generations to cherish jade, sigh and cry. Her melancholy, aestheticism, classic, cold and cheerless, faint love and sadness show an image of a maiden with China characteristics. She is weak in appearance, but full of wisdom in heart. She lives in a grand view garden with profound cultural background and pursues elegance and happiness. Her soul is a combination of sensitivity, wisdom and melancholy. Lin Daiyu is an innocent and straightforward woman who likes romance and advocates freedom. In that era when "a woman without talent is virtue", she secretly read The West Chamber and reached the realm of infatuation. She often blurts out the classic lines in The West Chamber, which is really a bit of extraordinary talent. A lady should be an emotional woman like Daiyu. In front of the beloved man, he retains the softest and most untouchable pain in his heart, a kind and affectionate heart, and all women's longing for love. They are sometimes emotional and sometimes shy; Sometimes gentle as water, sometimes innocent and lovely; Sometimes funny, but also exudes the pure atmosphere of a girl. Of course, I will be sad because of loneliness, and I will cry because I am moved. It is more important to know what is enough, when it will appear, and how to show your beauty. Although Daiyu is favored by the old lady, her delicate sensitivity reminds her to pay attention everywhere, always care, and never say a word or walk a step for fear of being laughed at. In order to ensure her "clean body", to "get out of the mud without being stained" and "come clean and go clean", even if she dies, she still wants to leave-"You should at least let them send me back to Daiyu, who is made of water and has sensitive heart and fragile feelings. The fleeting life and human feelings are warm and cold, which makes her deep eyes full of sorrow for the world. The emotional setback between her and Baoyu is even more painful for her. The poems, books and piano paintings that accompany her every day will make her sad. When the delicate figure of "Daiyu burying flowers" appeared in the Grand View Garden, her sentimental complex emotion was to associate her own experience with it, and she was worried that she would get old. She gave up a feeling and a period of time Daiyu is an infatuated woman, much like a lady. But a lady will never happily talk about a desperate love on a romantic night, because the love of a modern lady is no longer the only one, and she still has the other half of her life-career. The fate of a lady will not pay the true feelings of her life like Dai Yu, but only fate; I have tasted the tears of life, but I can't bring back love and pain. Daiyu is indeed a woman with unique taste. She can often lose a little temper in front of you, making your appetite sour and making you feel at arm's length. But it is a big mistake for modern women to choose Daiyu as a model, because Daiyu is a model of traditional ladies, not a model of modern ladies. The best choice for a lady is: choose the elegance of Daiyu, keep the purity of Daiyu as jade, and keep the quality clean. "A lady's speech should be truly elegant and moving. With eternal smile and magnetic voice, she must keep in mind ten taboos and taboos in conversation. Ten taboos in talking with people 1. Interrupt others' conversation or steal others' words. 2. Ignoring the use of generalizations will make it difficult for the other party to understand your intentions for a while. 3. Distraction makes others repeat what they have said. 4. Asking questions continuously makes people feel that you are too enthusiastic and demanding to deal with. Being careless about other people's problems will make people feel that you ignore and despise each other. 6. Explain a phenomenon casually and assert it rashly to show that you are an expert. 7. It is confusing to avoid reality without revealing it. 8. Inappropriately emphasizing some details irrelevant to the theme makes people tired and embarrassed. 9. When others are interested in a topic and you feel impatient, immediately turn the topic to your own interest. 10. Pretend that the correct views and pertinent suggestions are wrong and inappropriate, so that the other party will suspect that there is something ridiculous in your words. Taboos in conversation There are no perfect people in the world. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. People always have self-esteem, and often don't want others to touch some of their shortcomings, privacy, unpleasant things, etc. Therefore, in interpersonal relationships, the speaker must be taboo. When the interviewee involves some sensitive and special things, he should think more about the other person. 1. Physiological defects. To avoid people's physical defects when speaking, we have to use indirect expression. If you politely say to the lame, "Your legs are inconvenient, please sit down first. "2. Unfortunate families. Like the death of a loved one, divorce of husband and wife, etc. If it is not mentioned by the parties themselves, it is not appropriate to insist. 3. Lack of personnel. The shortcomings, disgraceful experiences and present situation in dealing with people are sensitive points that others don't want to touch. 4. Do as the Romans do. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Getting started is embarrassing. "This is crucial to the success or failure of society. As a lady, don't think that you are naturally liked. Talking with people and avoiding taboos are actually manifestations of understanding, respect, civilization and cultivation. If we can avoid unhappiness as much as possible, everyone will be happy. Facts have proved that a lady's elegant and moving speech is helpful to socialize, embodies the beauty of a lady's personality and adds a little beauty to her beauty. Without the atmosphere, the charm of a lady will become tacky, and it is impossible to talk about being virtuous. A lady in the atmosphere can put on a little makeup or face the sky; You can dress beautifully and eat well, or you can eat ladle pulp; You can live in a mansion or a cabin; You can lead a horde, or you can take Qi Mei as an example. In life, the breath of nature will show extraordinary elegance to some women, blend with heaven and earth, and reveal infinite vitality. A generous person lies in knowing the big picture. You should know the general idea, not to comment on the world with your own likes and dislikes, but to treat all beings with an inclusive heart. A woman with this virtue is clever and smart, adding a graceful and leisurely charm, as cool as a breeze and as bright as a bright moon. The atmosphere is manifested in wearing clothes and hats, and it is also revealed in gestures, brow and conversation. If a lady can enjoy every fresh moment and forge her eternal atmospheric character, then it is not only a beautiful scenery between heaven and earth, but also a model of human relations. The more such models, the greater the possibility of a better world, and the nobler, purer and more amazing the taste of a lady. The atmosphere must first learn to be tolerant and allow others to have different life concepts. Facts are stranger than novels. There is no absolute concept of right and wrong in the world. Maybe friends around you can eat and wear warm clothes through marriage, but you firmly believe that women should be self-reliant and can't be men's accessories. This should be a different concept of life, so you won't despise and spit on her, will you? Smart ladies don't do that. Every time they do something and say a word, the first thing to consider is whether they hurt others and how to keep the true nature of a lady's bosom friend. Everyone has his own way of pursuing, maybe all roads lead to the same goal, and finally everyone will reach a goal together. A lady is not out of place and pretentious, but can tolerate others, know how to respect others' choices and recognize different people's lifestyles. The atmosphere also shows enthusiasm. Emerson, an American writer, once wrote: "Without enthusiasm, people can't do great things." Great poet s? Ullman also said: "wrinkles will be left on your forehead every year, but if you lack enthusiasm for life, your heart will be covered with wrinkles." With enthusiasm, ladies will turn strangers into friends, sincerely tolerate others, make full use of their spare time to complete their hobbies, and have the mood to temper their virtuous side. A lady's enthusiasm will make you broad-minded and abandon resentment; It will make you relaxed and happy, even forget your illness, and of course it will also remove weeds from your mind. The character of a modern lady should be soft inside and rigid outside, combining rigidity with softness, with a strong heart beating under the gentle appearance. They are no longer the weakness of traditional ladies, nor are they formidable women. Modern ladies deeply understand that the deliberate pursuit of tenacity is too different from the real inner world of women, and it is very hard without tenacity. Therefore, modern ladies exchange the most gentle way for the most generous treatment. And they never abandon life and love, but love rationally and fully enjoy the sweetness of love; They live sincerely and enjoy all the beauty in life. As a fashionable word, Lady refers to the antonym of "tomboy" or "strong woman". Although the ladies in China and the ladies in the West have inherited very different traditions, there are spiritual similarities between them. In this increasingly international contemporary society, they achieve the same goal through different routes, and the two words instead of them are also translated into each other. Women in China face gentlemen, while women in the West face gentlemen. In the concept of a gentleman, she is always "ladies first". Ladies, as the image of the weak in the mainstream society, receive special care and care. In the era of corsets and skirts, well-educated ladies know how to faint at the right time, making the gentlemen and heroes around them useful. A lady is a school messenger in the female category and must play the weak role in the male category. Among them, moderation is the key to being a lady. Modern ladies don't have to work for needlework or laugh, but they should be dignified, gentle and elegant, and prop up their bodies properly. A lady is essentially a norm. The women's liberation movement for more than one hundred years has gradually alienated women from the spirit of a lady. The youth anti-tradition movement in 1960s and its "ultra-short style" gave a heavy blow to female idols. White-collar women in the 1980s, wearing suits and skirts with wide shoulder pads, are equally destructive because they are tough. Until the trend changed in the 1990s, people missed the women of the past, and the feminism re-established in the fashion world should actually be called ladylism. People can play many roles in society, and contemporary society has given women unprecedented choices. Contemporary women pay more attention to appearance than image. If a strong woman puts on a lady's clothes, she becomes a lady. The image of a lady at the end of the century can be decorated with minimalism or neo-romanticism. When women dress up as ladies, they will smile gently and have a drink, but this does not prevent them from putting on denim shorts to dance disco or putting on suits to make money in the world.