All lines of the 2010 Spring Festival Gala sketch "Can't Let Him Go

Directed by Yu Erqun

Author: Cui Yanjun Feng Gong Wang Zhenhua Li Yi Fang Qingping Zou monk

Starring: Feng Gong (Lei Ren) Yang Song (Old Man) Yan Xuejing (Caretaker) Shao Feng (Old Man's Son) Han Xue (Girl in Internet Hair)

Feng: Honored Leaders, Friends, Guests. Ladies and folks, miss you all!

I'm too lucky today, driving a car out of the door and hit an old man, not! I hit an old man who was hit by a car, and the guy who hit him ran away!

What should I do? (Singing) I'm not afraid to speak out! When it's time to do something, I'll do it! The wind and fire to save the old man ah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Save the old man! Hey, hey, hey! Save the old man!

Yang: (Singing) Aiya ee-er-ya! Alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas, alas! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Aigoo~ (pain)

Feng: This old man, are in pain like this, singing not out of tune! This is the wheelchair version of Zhu Qiangliang!

Yang: Uncle!

Feng: I'm still a father!

Yang: Uncle Lei Feng! You can not go ah!

Feng: You do not worry! I will never go! I must carry Lei Feng to the end!

(To the audience) Do I really look like Lei Feng?

Audience: yes!

Feng: Thank you!

Audience: like a detonator! Like a detonator!

Feng: Like what? Like a detonator! The negotiation is good! That one old comrade, see really accurate, I really detonator! I am in charge of all the things that Lei Feng is in charge of! I must learn from Lei Feng, be a good son of the people!

Yan: son!

Feng: hey!

Yan: I! There are you like this? Let go of your own father do not care about chatting here in the big day! It's really a big rooster with a long tail, marrying a daughter-in-law and forgetting her mother! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and then you'll be able to get a new one! A big rooster's tail is so thick, he forgets his aunt when he marries! The big rooster's tail is so thick that he forgets his aunt when he marries his daughter-in-law!

Feng: the rooster tail shaking, married daughter-in-law forget the dog! You think that's my own father!

Yan: Her adopted more have to filial piety!

Feng: not ......

Yan: I'm a caretaker what I have not seen? The first thing you need to do is to get rid of the problem and get rid of the problem! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. Without you there would be me. Without me ......

Feng: No, no, no, no, no, no! That's not something to say when you go out!

Yan: you anyway, by people drop water grace, you when the spring to repay! Crows feed, lambs kneeling, drinking water, I live in the head of the Yangtze River, you live in the tail of the Yangtze River, day after day think of you do not see you, the same drink of a river water!

Feng: We are two people! This ah! This is a good person, just a little bit of two hundred and ninety-nine.

Yan: That's called two hundred and five!

Feng: That's not enough! Two hundred and fifty-five you have to add three eight plus ......

Yan: two!

Feng: enough! I would not be his son!

Yan: You are his aunt?

Feng: Are you his girl?

Yan: Are we a couple?

Feng: looks also mismatched!

Yan: That's right, look at your looks, but also too arbitrary!

Feng: Yes! ...... that also ...... that also not as good as you look so do whatever you want ah! This look is also too much of an example! I'm telling you! I don't know him!

Yan: Oh! I don't know who he is, but I'm not sure if he's the one who hit me!

Feng: I'm saving people!

Yan: Oops! How can you save people if you don't hit them?

Feng: I save people why must I hit people?

Yan: You are the first to hit the person after the rescue!

Feng: Nonsense! I saved people first and then hit people! Not right! Old master! The old man! (Singing) I'm a man of the world! When it's time to do something, I'll do it! I'll save the old man! Hey, hey, hey! Save the old man! Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya, Aiya!

Yan: How old are you still singing this cynical song! I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person, and I'm a good person!

Feng: (Singing) This is a beautiful lovely mountain village, cattle running around full of indulgence, yo le ee ee ee ee! Yo le oh ee ee ee ee! Yo le oh ......

Yan: (interrupt) you don't sing it! This Chinese old man, you get a foreign cow blindly screaming what ah! Sing a good life

Feng: (singing) when a person is Leo.

Yan: And change the sheep! I'm not sure if you can make some human noise, but I'm sure you can make some human noise, and I'm sure you can make some noise. I'd like to sing about the village, and I'd like to take the Chinese medicine!

Feng: (Singing) There is a girl in the village called Xiaofang!

Yang: (awake) where le?

Feng: here ...... or Chinese medicine is good, old man you still recognize me?

Yang: ee ~ can not let him go ah! He ...... (fainted)

Feng: He how single this time fainted ah!

Yan: Aigoo old man! It's not that you're angry! The old man can say! You can not go ah!

Feng: I have no right to go ah! I even paid a five thousand dollar deposit for him!

Shao: Oops! (Singing) My old father my favorite person! Father (down)! Father (down) ah!

Feng: Don't yell at me! I just bought the stock yesterday! I'll be so long the two fell (father) stop board!

Shaw: You're the one who hit the man!

Feng: I'm the one who saved the day!

Shaw: did not hit the person how will you save people le?

Feng: I save people why not hit people?

Shaw: you are the first to hit the person after saving people!

Feng: nonsense! I saved people first after hitting ...... me then I did not hit people!

Shaw: precisely because you saved people so prove that you hit someone!

Feng: precisely because I hit someone so prove that I did not save people!

Shaw: Uh-huh! (Nodding)

Feng: No! Why are you here if you didn't save him? Aigoo! Old master! Old master! Old master! You have to wake up! Master! There's a girl in the village called Xiaofang! Where is she? He just woke up!

Shao: You always sing a song my father will wake up? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that!

Shaw: You keep singing a song, my father will wake up! You sing round le! My father is a soccer fan!

Feng: GO, GO, GO! The old man we are going to win! The other side has penalized two players!

Yang: (Wake up) is to penalize three! We can not win! You can't stop us from kicking a fake ball to their own goal hang ah!

Feng: That's right! We have four of them lurking in our ranks! Ah no! Master! We won! East Asia quarterfinals, the men's soccer team three to zero victory over the South Korean team!

Yang: Really!

Feng: Really

Yang: The other team is not a women's team!

Feng: men's team

Shao: men's

Yang: thirty-two years! What did you do earlier?

Feng: It's okay old man! We *** with wish us Chinese soccer, from now on out of the plight towards the light! The old man!

Yang: ee~ can not let him go ah! He ...... (fainted)

Feng: How to get here will be fainted ah!

Shao: It's not you who hit us! My father can say! You can not go!

Feng: He also thinks I hit!

Feng: He also thinks I hit it! I was unlucky in this talk on the bad luck, a moment no matter who asked me, I'll say the opposite, you are the one who hit the person? I'll tell you I'm the one who saved the day. I save people! You hit someone? I save people!

Han: You saved people?

Fung: I crashed! You ...... didn't play by the rules, I didn't bump anyone! I was just hitting the sauce.

Han: you just bumped it doesn't matter, I won't tell anyone, I'll post it directly to the Internet, tomorrow I'll write an article titled "A Pleasant Goat in Gray Wolf's Skin" (Remembering a Misunderstood True Hero)

Feng: that's right, a tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is never a good driver!

Han: The next day I'll write another article titled "A Wolverine in Pleasant Goat's Skin" (the true hero turned out to be the perpetrator), and on the third day I'll write another article titled "Is he a wolf in sheep's skin or a sheep in wolf's skin" (you make the call on his fur)

Feng: Boy! Hurry up! Your mom is calling you home for dinner! I let you guys fry me last time! I let you guys fry me last time! That time we downstairs an Internet cafe on fire I saw a buddy in the smoke struggling, I rushed in and dragged him, he will not go with me! I was so angry that I hit him blindfolded to carry out! The first time I came out of the house, the police were anxious with me, the fire department easily rushed in, you carry him out why!

Han: You carried the fire department out!

Feng: The next day, the Internet said that I set the fire! Since then no one has taken me for a good guy! In our office, Lao Zhang lost five hundred dollars, he did not dare to go home, I gave him five hundred in a soft heart, guess what he said? You can take the initiative to hand over the money, it shows that you still have a moral bottom line! This matter spread to ...... spread to my wife and their unit to go, take turns to persuade her to hurry up and leave with him! First strike is strong, he dares to steal money today and tomorrow he dares to steal people, this is all a one-stop operation! Since then I went home again, my wife did not let me on the bed, I sleep on the carpet every day, since then my son does not care about me to call his father! He calls me Einstein when he sees me! The old man!

(Singing) We common people!

Shaw: Ho, ho, ho!

Feng: I'm so happy!

Shao: Howdy!

Feng: The people!

Shaw: Hey!

Feng: really ah really ...... (said) the old man should enjoy life!

Shao: (Singing) The house is bigger, the phone is smaller, life is getting better and better

Shao: (Singing) The vacation is longer, the income is higher, life is getting better and better

Feng: (Singing) I just hope that the sun will fall to the west mountain pass, so that you can kiss enough!

Yang: (Wake up, stand up) I really want to live another 500 years!

Feng: What the old man is singing is not a song but loneliness! The old man (slightly crying) do you still recognize me?

Yang: Ee~ can not let him go ah! He ...... (Yang Feng Tong dizzy) hey? I'm not sure why you're fainting, too.

Feng: I don't have to be dizzy, you have to be dizzy too!

Yang: We can't let him go!

Yan & Shao: You can not go! (grabbed)

Yang: he ...... is my life saver ah! (Kneel down)

Feng: Master! You are my savior! (Kneeling down)

Yan: Quickly get up (help)

Shao: This is how to say, quickly get up quickly get up! (help)

Yan: Quickly get up (help)

Han: It's so touching! I have my article! It's called "No skin on anything! He's also a Pleasant Goat" (My hero I'm in charge!) Hero! I really adore you!

Fung: Don't worship Brother! Brother is just a legend

Han: No! I must push you out!

Feng: Don't push me! Our family lives on the 18th floor! Master!

Yang: Hey!

Feng: Take care of yourself! I have to go, my mom is calling me home to steal vegetables! (Go)

Shao: stop! This is your le ten thousand dollars!

Feng: no! I paid five thousand.

Shaw: the rest! Is my family thank you!

Feng: No no no! No, the old man is waiting for money to spend it! You piece of spend it! I ...... me, I don't care about money! (Turning his head to make a show) I ...... I really do not care, oh yes! (Reaching out for the money)

Shao: (withdrawing the money) Dad! He doesn't want it!

Yang: You're a real lightning rod!

Feng: Master! How dare I compare myself to Lei Feng! I am at best a descendant of Lei Feng, from now on you will call me Leiren! （

Shao: Dad! What kind of person is he?

Yang: What man? Good man! Send money!

Shao & Yan & Yang & Han: Thunder man! (Shao chase)

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PS: The above is my hand-copy through the video completed, inevitably there are mistakes, please bear with me.