Simple stand-up comedy

Lines:

As the saying goes, buying is not as good as selling. It's a famous saying! I don't need to say, everyone here, who hasn't eaten tofu while shopping? What? What does eating tofu mean? Someone used it! This is a fashion word I just learned.

Originally, this businessman naturally used it to do business, just to make a fortune. But a gentleman loves money, so you have to treat it wisely! Now many buyers and sellers are not thinking about how to improve service quality and operate with integrity, but rely on adulteration and fraud to make profits.

No, our neighbor, Aunt Zhang, bought three catties of apples in the street the other day, but it took a long time to get 51.3% faster. When she brought it back, she weighed a contract in her own name, two catties and four ounces, which was a loss of 78 cents. Angry Aunt Zhang has high blood pressure.

Another time, Miss Xiao Wang of our unit met an orange seller on her way home from work. When she sees that oranges are good, she wants to buy some. However, she can't stand the sweet words of the vendors. She wanted to buy two kilograms, but in the end she was given five kilograms.

Of course, the price has to be discussed. The hawker asked for two yuan per catty, and Xiao Wang returned from one quick five to one quick eight. The peddler still refused, and neither of them would give in. Finally, the peddler said in a low voice, "One yuan and eight yuan is fine, but I have to ask you to pay for the scale that sells vegetables over there."

Xiao Wang was puzzled and asked him why. The vendor said mysteriously, "There are all eight or two scales there." Hearing this, Xiao Wang was startled and thought that things could not be like that. This account is easy to calculate! According to two pieces, five catties and ten dollars, according to one piece and eight pieces, five catties and nine pieces are cheaper, but when eight or two pieces are weighed, five catties become four catties, which means that one dollar is lost in vain.

Xiao Wang graduated from college and is very smart. How could he do such a stupid thing! Before the price was paid back, the vendor weighed himself and went home with oranges. Supposedly there should be no problem, but Xiao Wang's mother is a careful person. After retirement, she bought food and cooked, and served her husband and children. When I saw my daughter buying a bag of oranges, I took out the shopping convenience scale and made an appointment. Ahem! Three and a half pounds. That guy used seven or two scales.

Losing weight is the most common means. You worked hard for half a day to get the price, and finally he got it back from the scale. However, whether it is shortweight or adulteration, it is a despicable means. As soon as he makes up for it, he feels indefensible, so he has to coax you, say good words, make you happy, and finally take advantage of you.

Although people who buy things are cheated, they can hear a lot of good things, but it is not too bad. And I met such a man, who was not adulterated or short of people, but also angry with you for being cheap, and finally let you suffer. Some people say, how is it possible? If I don't buy it, you can still rob it!

You are angry with me, and I am angry with you. It's not necessarily who is angry with whom! But I want to tell you that it's not like that! What's going on here? Let me tell you slowly. I was riding home after work that day when the phone rang. I took out my mobile phone and saw that it was my wife. I answered quickly.

My wife said on the phone that her mother-in-law was ill and had a cold and fever! I just want a bite of frozen pear, and I have to buy it right away. After answering the phone, I hurried to the market. It's getting late and it's getting cold, so I can't buy it right away. If I can't buy it, my wife won't freeze me.

Extended data:

Stand-up crosstalk is a form of crosstalk. One person said it was stand-up crosstalk, two people said it was counterpart crosstalk, and more than three people said it was group crosstalk. Stand-up crosstalk is a folk art form developed on the basis of folk jokes. It not only has the characteristics of cross talk, but also inherits the artistic techniques of folk jokes, stories and storytelling. It is full of stories and interesting, so it is widely circulated in society.

Stand-up comedy tells a joke. Although stand-up crosstalk also tells stories, and there are characters in the stories, there must be "jokes" that make people laugh (crosstalk terminology is called "baggage"). Stand-up crosstalk must find ways to make people laugh. Stand-up crosstalk has the tone, action and expression of stand-up crosstalk.

References:

Baidu Encyclopedia-Stand-up Crosstalk