Let the moody people happy jokes

Let the bad mood people happy jokes

Let the bad mood people happy jokes, some people's mood swings are relatively large, many times inexplicably sentimental up, and then will look for an individual to talk about it, can not be only in their own psychological holding. The following share let the moody people happy jokes.

Let the moody people happy jokes 1

1, the night of the wedding, the groom excitedly lifted the bride's red head, but found that it is another woman, but not surprised and happy, and quickly asked, "Girl, who are you?"

The girl guffawed, red-faced, whispered: "The bride is drunk, I'm a bridesmaid, after the wine generation married!"

2, Yugong moved a lifetime of mountains, before dying to his sons called to the bed, used his last breath to his sons said: "Move mountains, move mountains ......"

The sons held Yugong's hand tightly, replied fondly: "Move the mountain, move the mountain, bright and shiny!"

3. A teacher, asked three students in the class, "Who is the tallest in China?"

The first student quickly answered, "Yao Ming is the tallest."

The second student felt wrong, and immediately retorted, "Our Leshan Buddha there is much taller than Yao Ming, at least more than seventy meters."

The third student confidently added: "Seventy meters is only the height of his sitting down, if he stood up, it would be at least a hundred meters."

4. On the way back, I met two Frenchmen, one of them was probably the teacher who taught Chinese, and the other one was his student.

The teacher happily pointed to the Chinese calendar and said to the student, "Look, these two characters read Lei Feng, this is Lei Feng Memorial Day, and he is very famous in China because he helped a lot of people in his life."

The student said admiringly, "Teacher, you are really knowledgeable!"

After saying this, the two went away happily, and I went over to see that the calendar said frost!

5, the elevator, a beautiful mother with a cute little girl, there is a strange man, in order to avoid embarrassment, the strange man from the pocket out of a lollipop handed to the little girl.

Then the pretty mom asked the little girl, "What do you say to people when they give you something?"

The little girl replied, "Uncle, do you have any more? My mom wants it too."

6, a couple to the wild travel, suddenly encountered a tiger, the husband walked up to fight with the tiger without hesitation, and eventually drove the tiger away.

The wife said to her husband, "You are really brave, so big tiger, you are actually not afraid."

The husband replied, "What's there to be afraid of, I've been living with you, a tigress, for so many years, is it for nothing."

7. Xiaoming: "Master, what do you think is the happiest thing in life?"

The master grabbed a seven-star ladybug, put into the flour wrapped in a circle and sent to Xiaoming.

Xiao Ming: "Master, do you mean that even though a person is as tiny as a bug, crawling around in the mortal world all his life, he is bound to encounter happy things?"

Master: "No, it's white whoring."

8, the beauty found lipstick is too heavy, they take wet wipes to wipe, and then threw the wet wipes to the road, coincidentally, was picked up by an old man, the old man examined half a day, suddenly woke up, and chased after it, said: "girl, this ultra-thin is easy to fall ah."

9, the neighborhood committee aunt saw a little girl standing in the doorway, so they asked: "Children, cold days, you stand alone in the doorway for what? Why don't you stay in your room?"

The little girl replied, "Mom and Dad are fighting."

The neighborhood committee aunt said, "Uncharacteristic, who is your father?"

The little girl replied, "That's why they are fighting."

10, a man went to the barbershop to get a haircut, he told the boss: "I'm in a hurry, don't be too pushy, just fix it."

The boss said, "Even if I'm faster, I can't shoo a little better."

11, a couple fishing in the river, the lady is always noisy, a moment of fish on the hook, the lady said, "This fish is really poor!"

The husband said: "Yes, shut up is not all right."

12, there is an old man surnamed Iron, there is no hair on the body, ask him what disease? The answer is: there is nothing wrong with the old iron.

13, a match to go shopping, walking, scalp suddenly itchy, so he scratched his head, did not think of fire, after going to the hospital, it became a cotton swab.

14, I have a friend, his name is Zhu Chuan, his mom every time he bought clothes for him will say, "This is bought for our family Zhu Chuan."

15, I heard that sleeping with the phone on the side of the pillow will have radiation, not good for the body, so I decisively threw the pillow at bedtime.

16, today in the office nothing to do, took out a magnet to play, coincidentally, was seen by the leadership, the leadership reached out to take, the results of the "whoosh", the magnet sucked in the leadership of the gold ring on top of the super embarrassing.

17, just looking through the resume, see a graduate resume, he wrote in the awards experience column is, during the school period, many times to get Master Kong "and then a bottle" award!

18, a Japanese man came to China to see a dentist, the results of the two people fought, the police asked to realize that the original dentist said to the Japanese, "pull a tooth."

19, you know? The Tang Monk was trapped in the daughter country, in fact, the beautiful 'female king, when the female king asked him if he wanted to marry, the Tang Monk very quickly said: "marry!" Then the White Dragon Horse ran away with the Tang Monk.

20, one day, Zhao Yun buttocks injured, went to find Hua Tuo to help heal, just intend to sit down, Hua Tuo shouted: "General, do not sit with injuries."

Zhao Yun replied, "Is your family running a high-speed train? There are still business seats?"

21: Cao Cao brought his son Cao Chong to visit Liu Bei. Cao Cao walked up to the door and shouted, "Cao Cao has come to visit with his young son."

Liu Bei said, "Oh, come on, but also what fruit."

22, one day, the Tang Monk asked the eight rings: "Do you know what hoop on the head of the Wukong?"

The eight rings thought about it and replied, "Monkey head hoops."

23, one day, my bunk roommate in eating noodles, this time, eating, suddenly said, "This noodle how there are crunchy bones?" So, the upper bunk I silently put away the nail clippers.

24, one day, the little snake panicked and asked his brother: "Are we poisonous?"

The big snake said, "Why are you asking?"

The little snake said, "I just accidentally bit my tongue."

25, today Halloween, I went to buy a pumpkin, the boss specially picked a big one for me, I said: "I can't finish it alone."

The boss said, "I thought you took it to do the mask."

26, the father walked into his son's room and complimented, "Well done, son, the window is both clean and bright, did you wipe it with soapy water?"

The son replied, "No, I used a hammer."

27, the unit has a colleague, Mongolian, the New Year's vacation home, the holiday after a few days is not back, the leadership to call him.

He said on the phone, "Leader, I'm still riding on the Hulunbeier grasslands looking for home, my family is nomadic, now I do not know where to move to."

28, the husband arrived home from work, found his wife lying on the sofa, the husband asked with concern: "Wife, uncomfortable?"

The wife nodded, the husband hastened to comfort: "Cooking, you do not have to worry, I will carry you to the kitchen in a while."

29, and his wife a piece of watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, I said in passing: "What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms?"

Wife said: "Tied to the straw boat, borrowing arrows."

30, one day, the elephant after the toilet, no handkerchief, it asked the side of the white rabbit, "you afraid of losing hair?" The white rabbit replied, "I'm not afraid." So the elephant grabbed the white rabbit and went to wipe his butt.

The next day, the elephant forgot to bring handkerchiefs for dinner, and asked the squirrel, "Are you afraid of losing your fur?" The little squirrel replied, "I'm not afraid." So the elephant picked up the little squirrel to wipe his mouth.

After wiping his mouth, the little squirrel said, "Elephant, I'm the white rabbit from yesterday!"

31. The little mosquito said to his mom, "Mom, I just learned to fly, and it's great."

Mom said, "How did you know?"

The little mosquito said, "I just went out and skipped around, and a lot of people applauded me."

32, yesterday to eat dry pot bullfrogs, a little girl at the next table asked her mother: "Mom, the little frog can not return home, its mother will not be anxious ah?"

Her mom froze there, and the chopsticks in my hand stopped, so kind of question, how can I get down to the mouth.

At this point, the owner came to the rescue, and the owner said to the little girl, "No, I have their whole family here."

33, the doctor asked the patient how the fracture, the patient said: "I think there is sand in my shoes, I hold the pole to shake shoes, a man passed there thought I was electrocuted, they copied the stick to give me two sticks."

34, once, our company a male colleague and female colleagues quarrel, suddenly, male colleagues boast female colleagues face Wangfu, female colleagues heart great joy.

The female colleague: "Really? How to see out?"

Male coworker: "You look like this, your husband looked at it, there is no desire, can only focus on the cause."

35, today my wife helped me squeeze toothpaste, I asked her: "How do you want to get up today to help me squeeze toothpaste?"

Wife replied: "Today, squeeze more, off the sink feel pity, just use your toothbrush to scrape up."

36. Yesterday, I rode my bike through a hutong, and suddenly a bike rode in front of me, and I was about to crash, so I yelled, "You to the left, I'll go to the right."

That day, we both lay in the alley for a long time.

37, in the morning, in the public **** toilet on the big, not a moment to come in a person, also big, when I was ready to go, he called me to stop, he asked me what brand of paper towels I use, so fragrant, can you give him to see, give him to look after, until now I am still in the toilet.

38, one day, Zhu Geliang said to the wind: "the wind, the wind, you scrape to the west".

The wind said, "You're the one who looks like a watermelon!"

39, once upon a time, there is a hide-and-seek society, their head, until now has not been found!

40, always thought that the KFC family bucket is the whole family, and then I realized that it is the whole family of chicken!

41, Mr. Liu accidentally fell into the well while walking, and with the help of the villagers, Mr. Liu quickly adapted to life in the well!

42, green grapes said to purple grapes, "Quickly take a breath, face are suffocating purple."

43, Wu Dalang's feelings for Pan Jinlian are still quite deep, as can be seen from the drinking of medicine, deep feelings, a mouthful of boredom.

44, today to participate in the pigeon competition, after arriving at the scene, I found that only one person arrived.

45, one day, the egg went to drink tea, after drinking tea, it became a tea egg!

46, one day, a few brothers sitting together to eat and chat, one of them stood up to accuse another person said: "We are all good brothers, good buddies, why do you want to get rich first? You this way to break the balance, the brothers will not be happy, we are all poor together, it does not smell good?"

47, Xiaohong asked Xiaoming: "Your mom and I fell into the water at the same time, who do you save first?"

Xiaoming replied: "Fool, it must be the first to save you."

Xiaohong said shyly, "I'm so touched, why did you save me first and not your mom?"

Xiaoming replied, "Because if I save you first, the water level will go down, and my mom will be saved."

48, the couple divorced to fight for the child, in court, the wife said righteously: "The child was born from my stomach, of course, belongs to me."

The husband said angrily: "Joke, it's nonsense, the money out of the ATM to the ATM? It is still not who inserted the card belongs to who."

The wife went on to say, "If it comes out to be counterfeit money you want?" The judge, of course, swooned, and even the lawyer was very impressed.

49, the child asked his mother: "Mom, why did you marry dad back then?"

Mom said, "Back then, mom was blind, so she married your dad."

The child asked his father, "Why is our family so poor?"

Dad said, "All the money in our family went to your mom to cure her eyes."

50, there is a kind young man, he every day to the street beggars 10 dollars, a few years down, never stop, and then, the young man got married, spend more money, it was changed to 5, and then later, have a child, the days are more tight, it was changed to 2 dollars.

One day, the beggar asked the young man, "How do you give me less and less money?"

The young man said, "In the past, one person had enough to eat, the whole family is not hungry, now there is a wife, there is not much money."

Unexpectedly, the beggar was very upset and said angrily at the young man, "How do you take my money to feed your wife and children?"

Let the moody people happy jokes 2

One, in fact, confession may not be a good thing, confession will appear to be particularly black hands.

Second, the electric fan is man's best friend, I asked the electric fan I look ugly? The fan silently shook his head for a night.

Third, when one or two people say I'm ugly, I do not think so, but when more and more people say I'm ugly, I know the seriousness of the matter: now the liar is really more and more.

Fourth, I show my cards, in fact, I have a boyfriend, is not very stable at present, there are times to dream.

Fifth, as the saying goes, efforts are not necessarily successful, but do not try to be comfortable for a while.

Six, the real brother, no matter how far away we are, no matter how long no contact, even if the middle of the phone number changed several times, to borrow money when you can always find you.

Seven, there was a sincere love in front of me, I did not cherish, and then really met a more sincere love.

Eight, they say I have a bad temper, joke, good-looking, temper is good, that's not bad.

Nine, the night parked the car, forgot to bring an umbrella, shivering in the rain back home. A door, daughter-in-law to see my upper and lower teeth touching the cackle, a care to pounce on, grabbed me and asked: What do you eat?

Ten, "I am a good-tempered person, if one day someone stepped on my bottom line." "Then what will happen?" Then I would lower the bottom line even further. "

eleven, someone asked me which one of the lion and the tiger is powerful, I think a perm should be dry but a tattooed one.

twelve, with the current rate of increase in housing prices, I do not hope to be able to afford a set of affordable housing, I only hope that the old time can afford a set of affordable graves!

XIII, today to buy a girlfriend more than 20,000 bags, pay when I did not blink, directly fainted!

Fourteen, schizophrenia is finally cured, so I decided to find a suitable partner, in order to not let the partner alone, I have to find myself first.

XV, before my wife to me especially fierce, not moving to beat me, since she learned the sparring match on me more polite, every time before hand to me a deep bow.

Sixteen, why do grandmothers like their granddaughters-in-law, but not their daughters-in-law? Because the enemy of the enemy is a friend!

xviii. Now you scold me because you don't understand me yet, and when you understand me later, you will definitely hit me.

XVIII, one day pulled out of the fire canister to swim, a little girl saw crying and running, while running and shouting: Mom, Mom, you see the seven-star ladybug! I turned around and wanted to defend, the girl scared: mom, or a seven-star ladybug essence!

nineteen, don't lose weight blindly, pig eight ring from the high old village to the western sky also did not see thin down. Besides, he also eat vegetarian!

XX, heard the second brother asked his five-year-old daughter: "When you grow up you want to be what ah?" Answer: "When the police." And asked: "Why is the police?" Answer: "Because the teacher often said to find the money to the police uncle."

two one, a family went to see the play, they bought tickets upstairs, but the little boy is always lying on the railing to look down, only to hear a staff to come over and say: "You look after the child, don't let him fall, downstairs is a VIP seat, fall is to make up for the ticket ...... "

two two, like a person to try to chase, to love to confession, even if rejected by the blow was hurt, do not give up, after a dozen failures, you will also stop.

two three, see a girl squatting on the ground, the front of the ground wrote a line of words: beg to give two dollars for a ride. I looked at the girl, helplessly sighed and turned his head to go, you go out two dollars do not bring, the pocket also put a chalk, fools?

two four, a cell phone life of about three to five years, only one twentieth of human life! The cell phone is just a part of your life, and you are all of it! Please put down the chores around you, more with your cell phone!

The jokes that make people in a bad mood happy3

A. Nowadays, "good night" means, don't mess with me, I'm going to keep playing with my cell phone now. I'm going to play with my cell phone now. I'm going to say good night to each other and stay up late.

Second, do not say you are a single dog, the dog to your age has died.

Third, sometimes think it, married to money or married to love this entanglement, like a child to discuss on the Tsinghua University or Peking University!

Fourth, girlfriends son naughty by girlfriends to play, may be a little heavy-handed, the little guy tearing his lungs crying, girlfriends rushed to the son to apologize, the son does not rely on the more crying the louder. The girlfriends let me go to coax the little guy, the little guy looked at me and girlfriends said: want to use the beauty plan can not find a good-looking!

Fifth, what to do in this era, the threshold has become so high, want to be a geek, you can afford to buy a house?

Six, if a woman likes a man not to take the initiative to chase, that is called reserved! If a man likes a girl does not take the initiative to go after, that is called the nest.

Seven, in fact, the Tang monk is quite colorful, encountered not good-looking called the Lord, encountered good-looking called female Bodhisattva.

Eight, "know what it feels like to be y in love?" "It's like when the room suddenly goes dark, and instead of going to the lamp you go to him." "Know what marriage is?" "Marriage is to come back and buy a dish by the way after a fight rushes out the door." This is the highest level of showing love.

Nine, what makes you realize that this person can not be deep friendship? The first thing you need to do is to get your friends to see you in the right place, and you'll be able to do that.

Tenth, the work of which is easy, in fact, we all go to work are the same tired, the difference is that everyone earn more than you.

eleven, when I was a child, I saw my parents fight, I often tangled, after growing up, should I get married? Until after the age, I realized: I really think too much!

twelve, when the university riding trolley with roommates to class, their own all the way to talk and laugh, only to find that roommates did not get on the car.

xiii, year after year working year after year worry, every day overtime like a monkey, overtime and overtime without pay, every day scolded without reason.

XIV, talk about a wrong love is like bedwetting, warm a moment, cool a quilt.

XV, driving school coach: red light does not go, green light does not go, how? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get a new car.

sixteen, more than twenty years of age, someone off a single, someone off the poor. And we are off the reins, like a husky, in the two pussy road wildly running.

seventeen, I have a colleague, allergic to mutton, eat mutton face on the swelling, so everyone every time to eat kebabs with him, face swollen the more powerful, the more real the family's mutton.

18, my friend asked me, you will be older and casually find someone to marry? I'm just kidding, can I find one just by looking?

nineteen, sometimes quite hate themselves, will not speak, too kind, nothing heart, but also so lovely.

Twenty, the weight is not a hundred, either flat-chested or short. It's as if you can have a good body if you are over a hundred.

Twenty-one, today I called the mobile customer service, customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, I'm glad to serve you." I said: "You are too happy too early." Then hung up the phone.

Twenty-two, God is fair, although gave you a low value, but also gave you a high vision.

Twenty-three, ugly how ah? As long as you don't look in the mirror, it's not me who's disgusted.

Twenty-four, I will not be able to make other people's stomachs bigger, but to make their stomachs bigger and bigger, I am quite good at it!

Twenty-five, the Journey to the West tells us: all the background of the monsters are taken, all the background is not killed by a stick.

Twenty-six, I do not want to raise a dog, do not want to raise a cat, I want to raise you, after all, pig can get rich.

Twenty-seven, to go out and walk, after all, so good a face is always hidden at home, is a big loss of society.

Twenty-eight, fortunately, I am a little fat, sad when you can also touch the little belly.

Twenty-nine, when you feel that you have nothing, when you are hopeless. Look in the mirror, dear you still have meat ah!

Thirty, it is said that the child is the pearl left on earth, mom is God sent to protect the child's angel. And I am God's fallen gyroscope, my mom is the one who likes to pump gyroscope.