What are the etiquette of the two families before marriage?

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Six rites

Ancient marriage etiquette. It refers to six kinds of etiquette from marriage negotiation to marriage completion, namely, accepting gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, inviting guests and welcoming them face to face. This wedding procedure was established in the Zhou Dynasty and first appeared in the Book of Rites. Most of the later generations followed Zhou Li, but the name and content changed. In the third year of Yuan Dynasty (AD 3), Emperor Han Ping ordered Liu Xin to make marriage documents. From the Han Dynasty to the Southern and Northern Dynasties, there was no wedding ceremony for the Crown Prince. However, from the Eastern Han Dynasty to the Eastern Jin Dynasty, due to social unrest, the Six Rites were ignored, and only worship (in-laws) was performed, and there was no wedding ceremony. It was not until the Sui and Tang Dynasties that the Crown Prince resumed the ceremony of welcoming relatives, and the emperor's marriage also followed the six rites. In the Song Dynasty, the dignitaries still followed the Six Rites, while the people thought that the Six Rites were complicated, so they only followed the Four Rites, omitting asking names and inviting Japan, which were attributed to Nacai and Zheng Na respectively. "Zhu" was even omitted by Najib and only three gifts were taken, which became the customization of the Ming Dynasty. In the Qing Dynasty, only two gifts were given, namely, receiving gifts and welcoming the bride, and one gift was given to the woman's home for shopping in the middle. According to Tongli in Qing Dynasty, marriage negotiation, accepting gifts, accepting coins, inviting dates and welcoming relatives are only implemented when Han officials have more than seven items. After the late Qing Dynasty, the Six Rites evolved in a complicated way and gradually declined.

National electronic advisory Committee

Wedding etiquette. It's the first of the six ceremonies. If the man wants to marry the woman, ask the matchmaker to propose marriage to her. After being accepted, please ask the matchmaker to formally accept the woman's "spouse-choosing ceremony". Yi Li Shi's Faint Rites: "Faint Rites, Order to Receive Gifts. Use geese. " Goose is the only gift from Gunnar Chua Li. Acceptance is the beginning of all marriage procedures. The ceremony of accepting gifts in later generations basically follows the weekly system, while gifts have other provisions. Nacai in Qing Dynasty was mostly a wedding ceremony, which was different from previous dynasties.

Q. Name

Marriage etiquette is the second of the six rites. In other words, the man sent a matchmaker to the woman's house to ask her name and birthday. After getting Geng Tie back, Buji folded his character. "Ceremony of the Soul": "What's your name, Bin Zhi Yan? Master Xu, guest admission. " Zheng Xuan's note: "Anyone who asks his name will have good or bad luck." Jia Gong Yan Shu: "If you ask your first name, ask your female surname."

Najib

Wedding etiquette. The third of the six rites. After asking the name and matching the eight characters, the man informs the woman of the good omen of marriage and presents her engagement. This is etiquette. In ancient times, Naji also offered a goose feast. Zheng Xuan's note: "It's a good omen to return to the temple, and then send an envoy to tell you that the marriage is settled." In the Song Dynasty, most people were engaged by Buji in the form of marriage. In the Ming dynasty, it was replaced by the general book of the media and marriage. In the Qing Dynasty, Najib Yiyi was involved in the process of asking names and getting married. During the Republic of China, there was no Naji instrument, only a simple Buji instrument, and the woman Geng was placed in front of the kitchen god. If there is no abnormality within three days, it will be regarded as smooth, and men and women will get married. ?

Zheng Na

Also known as Nacheng and Nabi. Wedding etiquette. The fourth of six ceremonies. It is the man who gives the bride price to the woman. Confusion in the Book of Rites Confucius said: "Those who take the levy also take money. Sign, into also. Hire money before getting married. " It was not until Naji learned that the woman agreed to get married that the man thought it feasible to receive the bride price. It is the only etiquette among the six rites that does not use geese, which shows that the ancients have distinct righteousness and etiquette. Gifts collected in past dynasties are all customized, and many items such as jewelry and fine silks are used by the people for women's employment, which is called collecting money and later evolved into gifts.

Invitation date

Also known as date, commonly known as date. Wedding etiquette. The fifth of the six ceremonies. It was the man who sent someone to the woman's house to inform her of the wedding date. "Ceremony of the World Soul": "Please use the goose, say goodbye to the host, and tell the guest the date as a gift." The invitation ceremony has always been like this, that is, the male family sent envoys to the female family to invite the date and give gifts, and then delivered a speech explaining the fixed wedding date, which was accepted by the female father, and finally the envoys returned to me. In the Qing Dynasty, the date of invitation was often called a letter or telegram, that is, the date of ceremony, wedding date and other related matters were written down by the man's family in red paper, and sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker or himself to discuss the wedding matters with her family.

Meet sb. in person

Also called a wedding reception. Wedding etiquette. The sixth of the six ceremonies. It is etiquette for the groom to marry the bride himself and go home. "The Book of Songs Daya Daming": "A big country has a son, a daughter has a sister, and a woman decides to meet Wei." The wedding began in the Zhou Dynasty, and the queen was also pro-Weishui when she got married. This ceremony is the beginning of the wedding. There are various forms of welcoming ceremony. In the Qing dynasty, the groom greeted him personally, wore red flowers, rode horses, or took a sedan chair to her husband's house, and the best man praised her parents and relatives. The Yue family wrote an essay with double flowers and red flowers, sailed for three weeks, and then returned first. The bride was wrapped in brocade by her brother and others and carried on the sedan chair. After getting off the bus, several relatives of the bride's family accompanied her and said "farewell", and the groom greeted her at home.

Marriage etiquette (2)

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Yan Li

Wedding etiquette. From the Zhou Dynasty to the end of the Qing Dynasty, in the marriage according to the Six Rites, except for the invitation (engagement) ceremony, the other five rites required the man's envoy to hold the goose as a gift for the woman's family. Because geese are migratory birds, they migrate from the north to the south every once in a while with the change of climate, and their spouses are fixed. One dies, and the other no longer chooses a spouse. The ancients believed that the flying geese from south to north conformed to yin and yang, the fixed spouse conformed to benevolence, righteousness and propriety, and the marriage was based on geese, symbolizing the harmony between yin and yang of a man and a woman, and also symbolizing the loyalty and singleness of marriage. Later, because geese became more and more rare, people used woodcut geese instead. In modern times, three kinds of live birds, goose, duck and chicken, are used to replace the ceremony of giving geese to ensure the harmony of marriage. With the gift of goose, North Korea and other countries also use it.

Discuss marriage

Also known as pro-discussion. On the initial stage of marriage, that is, the three stages of accepting gifts, asking names and Najib in the six rites. The man sends someone to the woman's house to propose marriage, and then goes through the formalities of job exchange, auspiciousness, marriage, blind date, etc. until the engagement. "Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio" Frog God: "Although I have forgotten it, I dare not talk about his surname."

Wenken

That is, to ask relatives. Marriage etiquette is the first of the six rites. In the song "Answer the Gui Guild" by Yip Wong in the Yuan Dynasty, he said: "I will ask Ken for a hundred cups of river tea, and I will ask my relatives for dozens of poems."

marry

Also known as the Tiangong Map, it was called Buji in ancient times. Wedding etiquette. This is a procedure in the roll call ceremony. At the beginning of marriage negotiation, after writing the eight characters, review the names and birth dates of both men and women. Ancient people went their separate ways, asking ghosts and gods and suing temples. Modern teachers of Yin and Yang are invited to talk about whether the life of men and women is consistent. If they are consistent, they will get married. If we contain each other, marriage will fail. The birth dates of both parties will be returned.

Yageng

Also known as pressure column. Wedding etiquette. It is one of the contents of the Six Rites Naji. After matching the eight-character posts of both parties, the man's family put the Geng post in the gift box, pressed the card and gave it to the woman's family. In addition, put the other person's eight-character sticker under the memorial tablet of his own temple or ancestor or under the incense burner for testimony, and the intention will be identified first. If the family is safe within three days, it is feasible to get married, also known as pressing Geng.

Observe and evaluate the suitability of future spouse or son.

Also known as portal, let's have a look. Wedding etiquette. That is, after the marriage negotiation stage is changed, the matchmaker will contact and arrange for the two sides to meet face to face. Dating ceremonies in previous dynasties were similar. In the old society, men and women did not know each other, but were arranged by their parents.

be engaged in

Wedding etiquette. That is, the ceremony of concluding an engagement. Through this ceremony, it means that the marriage of both parties is officially decided. In ancient times, the man took geese as a gift and went to the woman's house to talk about marriage. The goose became a symbol of marriage. In modern times, decorations, clothes and food are sent to women's homes as gifts. After the gift, the engagement is completed. Engagement is in the form of marriage certificate and money gift. In feudal society, engagement is a necessary procedure for marriage, and neither party can go back on his word. After the founding of New China, engagement is no longer a legal procedure. Both men and women need to register as long as they are voluntary and conform to the provisions of the Marriage Law.

Changtang Hua Xian

Wedding etiquette. After the engagement, the parents of the man and the woman go to the woman's house to burn incense and pray. After the ceremony, the woman held a banquet. Taste the soup first, serve four bowls of clear soup, cross the mouth of the bowl with red lines, and drop copper coins on the line to show marriage. After tasting the soup, put four pig's trotters on the plate, put red flowers on each plate, put a knife on the plate, and wrap HongLing around the handle. This is called offering flowers, which means signing an engagement. After tasting the soup and offering flowers, the wedding was officially completed.

Marriage etiquette (3)

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Discuss employment

Wedding etiquette. It is a procedure in which the matchmaker negotiates the type and quantity of dowry between men and women after they agree to get married. Generally, it is determined according to the family status and property of both parties and the personality of married men and women, which obviously has traces of buying and selling marriage.

Downward interpolation

Wedding etiquette. This is a special wedding ceremony. The man proposed his engagement to the woman's house and sent the jewelry inserted by the woman to the woman's house as a token of love. "The Scholars" 27: "But I explained that there is no in-laws in his family, so don't ask Mrs. Bao to do it herself."

Xiacaili

Also known as bride price, money, gift, gift, bride price, release, fixed, market, contract, dowry and so on. Wedding etiquette. That is, before marriage, the man gave the woman a gift. The quantity and quality of gifts vary from place to place, mainly depending on the wealth of families. Wu's "Land Marriage" in the Southern Song Dynasty: "As for the bride price, the rich should prepare three gold gifts, and those who fall will take gold, gold and gold as well. If the home is covered with chairs, or there is no gold ware, it is necessary to use silver plating instead. Otherwise, if the rich and the poor are different, they will follow suit and there is no definite law. " Gifts are given according to the ritual system, and the consent of the woman is also required. The essence is to combine giving and giving. Before hiring, the matchmaker holds a gift card (gift list) to discuss with the woman's family. Often there are many disputes on quantity and quality between the two sides, which need to be discussed several times before deciding. When recruiting people, the man prepares a gift book, puts it on a red lacquer wooden tray, queues up with gifts on his shoulders, and sends it to the woman's house with drum music. The female family helps to show gifts to her relatives and neighbors. The woman accepted, and the engagement was formally established after the bride price was paid.

counter-offer

Also known as return gift, return love and answer back. Wedding etiquette. Before marriage, the man gives a dowry, and the woman will give a certain bride price as appropriate after accepting it. Meng Liang's Marriage on the Land by Wu in the Southern Song Dynasty: "The man chooses a day to hire, and (the woman) also answers with courtesy." Because the gift is often put on the plate, it is called a gift.

auspicious day

Also call the day. That is, the date chosen is suitable for marriage. It should be calculated according to the ecliptic, or selected by Yin and Yang teachers, or selected according to the almanac. Li Shangyin's Raven in Tang Dynasty: "How can you be careless with clever words? A good moment may not have a good time. " "Water Margin": "Today is a good day. Xianmei and Wang Ying got married." Most people pay attention to the date, season and month when choosing an auspicious day.

Give gifts in return.

Also called "follow-up" and "collection". Marriage customs. Before men and women get married, relatives and friends pay the money according to the agreed amount, and then make a gift for each man and woman who are going to get married. In the past, gifts were limited to relatives and friends of the man's family, and relatives and friends of the modern woman's family have since become vulgar.

Adding a box is also called adding a room Wedding etiquette. After the woman's family receives the invitation from the man's family, she writes the auspicious day of the woman's wedding as a wedding sticker and sends it to all relatives and friends. Relatives and friends who receive wedding stickers will generally give them to the woman's home as gifts. The difference between adding boxes and making up is that money and things are not given directly to the bride, but to her family. This is a kind of etiquette exchange between families.

Build a forest for future generations

Wedding etiquette. When they get married, the men get together to plant trees, so that the newlyweds can maintain their lives, support the elderly and die for them in the future. It can be held before or after the wedding according to the season. This ceremony is for the benefit of future generations.

Three invitations and three invitations

Wedding etiquette. Before marriage, the bride's family invited her son-in-law to hold a banquet. The man thanked him first, then invited him and thanked him again. After three invitations, the man went to pay tribute. The man has to prepare three invitations to get married, and he has to go to the woman's house to get her consent.

Marriage etiquette (4)

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make the bed

Also known as bunk. Wedding etiquette. That is, the woman's family will decorate the new house together with the dowry. It is usually held three days before marriage, but also one or two days before marriage. This ceremony originated very early and was very popular in the Song Dynasty. Sima Guang's "Wengong" Volume III: "The day before the wedding, the woman's family made Zhang's husband's room, commonly known as the' shop room'. Although it did not exist in ancient times, it cannot be abolished now. "

children's shoes

Wedding etiquette. Put the couple's shoes together and pray for the newlyweds to grow old together. This ceremony originated in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. At that time, a pair of silk and linen shoes were prepared in the bride price of every married woman's house and placed on the new bedside, which meant "harmony". Later generations evolved into men and women each preparing a pair of shoes, putting the bride's shoes in the groom's shoes, and thinking that men and women have the same shoes (together).

make up

Wedding etiquette. It is said that the woman's marriage must be urged by the man many times before she can dress up. Make-up should be divided into several times: two or three days before the wedding, the man will make-up ceremony, including rockhopper, wedding dress, mirror, powder cake and so on. Song Meng's "Tokyo Dream Record Marries a Woman": "On the first day, or early in the morning, makeup will be crowned with pollen." At the wedding reception, the woman's door was closed, and the man repeatedly played makeup songs and put makeup guns, accompanied by opening the door.

Crying marriage

Also known as crying sedan chair, with a sigh. Wedding etiquette. This is a ceremony of crying and singing as a farewell ceremony for the bride when she gets married. "Yi Ci of Zhouyi": "Swallow like this, ride a horse, and get married with bandits." Later generations of brides crying and getting married became a procedure in marriage, which was criticized as not crying. There are different times to cry, including the night before, after the head, before getting on the sedan chair and so on. The content of crying can be related to parting, gratitude to parents, trust to brothers and sisters, and venting some disappointments and marriages. The technique of crying even needs to be taught through learning, and it is accompanied by crying.

Open rod face

Also known as face opening, face twisting, face twisting, face selection, eyebrow raising, etc. Wedding etiquette. It is a ritual to unscrew the hair from the bride's face, trim her forehead and sideburns, trim her eyebrows and make up. A woman only meets once in her life as a sign of marriage. "Surprise at the Second Moment" Volume 25: "Three days ago, the Zheng family asked for plastic surgery." The ancient woman's face didn't reach the top until three days later. In modern times, it is held at the same time with the superior before the wedding, in the afternoon or evening of the wedding day, and in the morning or morning after the wedding. Most of them are sisters-in-law of Quanfu people or brides with complete parents and children.

It makes me addicted.

Also called top comb. It is an ancient etiquette for a woman to change her hairstyle before getting married. Originally, it was the general name of the coronation of men and the ceremony of women in ancient times, as a symbol of adulthood for men and women. In the poem "Crossing Water with People" written by Emperor Liang Jianwen of the Southern Dynasties, "Give birth to a new head and have fun wearing a skirt." Later generations gradually evolved into three days or one day or the same day before marriage. Men change their clothes into women's clothes, which not only marks adulthood, but also marks marriage. Later, it was used as a special ceremony for women to change their hair styles before marriage. The ceremony also includes putting on a wedding dress, dressing up and wearing jewelry. It is usually held at dawn, with mats, incense and candles.

The bride resigned.

Wedding etiquette. This is a ceremony for a woman to say goodbye to her relatives at home when she gets married. It is usually held before the wedding, giving parents a big gift to worship, thanking their parents for raising their kindness, expressing their feelings of parting, worshiping their brothers and sisters and caring for their families, and reminding them to honor their parents.

Kouchafan

Also called hungry marriage. One of the rituals that bound weddings in the old days. It is during the wedding that the bride is not allowed to go to the toilet. On the wedding day, the bride is not allowed to go to the toilet from the morning until the quarrel in the room, in case of confusion between yin and yang. Therefore, the woman who is going to get married must control her diet and make preparations early. Generally, from a few days before the wedding, they only eat food with less water content, which is not easy to digest and contains more protein.

Marriage etiquette (5)

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Decorate for the festival

Wedding etiquette. Sometimes it generally means wearing red. In the past, a few days before the wedding, men would stick red wedding couplets, red double happiness characters and auspicious patterns on the doors, and hang red cloth or red silk and colored balls on the doors. This ceremony has continued to this day.

Candle game

Also known as full house. Wedding etiquette. The night before the wedding, the groom slept in the new house. Before going to bed, two girls were selected by the man's relatives and friends, holding big red candles, and under the guidance of Quanfu people, they lit up the inside and outside of the new house. Shining with red light, I wish you luck and happiness.

Farewell seat

Also known as leaving the mother's seat. Wedding etiquette. When a man goes to the woman's house to meet relatives, he will bring one or two tables of vegetables to the bride's parents. Send this seat, that is, the son-in-law separates the bride from her family as comfort. This kind of banquet is a processed semi-finished or finished product, which means that the husband is half a son.

(of the bride's relatives) accompany the bride to the groom's house or attend the wedding.

Wedding etiquette. It is when the man's family marries the bride that the relatives of the woman's family send the bride to the man's family. Seeing the bride off is mostly done by the bride's mother or married sister-in-law, which is called seeing her off. Unlike bridesmaids, their main task is not to accompany but to escort. Wake up, keep the promise, and sell the oil lang to monopolize the flower chief: "Si Liu's mother went to the big media to bid farewell, and Zhu Zhong and the wife of flower chief were so happy."

Longevity chicken

Wedding etiquette. It is a wedding ceremony that symbolizes the auspiciousness of men and women in marriage. As the wedding approaches, the man prepares a red rooster, and the woman prepares a fattening hen, taking the chicken as "good luck". When a woman marries, she must be held by her underage brother or other boys. When she arrives at the man's house, she will tie two chickens together, and the person holding the chicken will beat the cock from time to time until the cock is weak, which symbolizes that the wife has conquered her husband. Two chickens can't be slaughtered and left to die of old age.

Press the sedan chair

Also known as sedan chair. Wedding etiquette. To attend a woman's wedding, the man usually prepares two sedan chairs: one for carrying the bride and the other for the groom to ride. When I went, the sedan chair was considered unlucky. In order not to empty the sedan chair, one or two clever children are usually chosen to share the sedan chair and tweed sedan chair with the groom. This is called pressing the sedan chair.

(To be continued)