Basic etiquette about personal apology

Although the art of apologizing is not that simple, people can learn it and it is worth learning. Only those who sincerely apologize can get real forgiveness. When apology becomes a way of life, we will all get the acceptance, support and encouragement we need and taste the benefits of apology. I compiled an article about the basic etiquette of personal apology for everyone, for reference only.

Basic etiquette about personal apology

"Make apologies a habit, learn to apologize, and learn to accept apologies."

We generally need forgiveness.

Everyone lives in a certain relationship, and no one can avoid hurting others or being hurt by others in interpersonal communication. Although most injuries are unintentional, learning to apologize and accepting apologies is still the most effective key to opening the door to forgiveness and repairing relationships.

However, the tendency of the word "apology" in China culture is often associated with "mistake", as if apologizing means making a mistake. Many parents teach their children to apologize for doing something wrong! But they hurt their children with ugly words many times but never say them, for fear of losing their sense of authority as parents. In school, if a teacher apologizes to his students, it will soon spread that "a teacher admits that he made a mistake" instead of "the teacher set an example for his students to apologize". In addition, in our habits, apology has become the basis for the division of responsibilities. For example, if two cars collide on the road, the driver who takes the initiative to get off the bus and apologize is naturally considered to be the responsible party of the accident, because "if it is true, why apologize?"

What's more, apologizing is often regarded as a sign of weakness and failure, which makes the apologist feel the loss of self-esteem. After some couples have conflicts, the first thing that both sides think of is to defend themselves by accusing each other. Even if you are guilty, you will never suffer, but you will try your best to find an excuse: "If you hadn't said it first, I wouldn't have done it …" No one wants to take the initiative to do something "weak".

However, how can people communicate without stumbling?

Conflicts between marriage, family, colleagues and friends all need someone to take responsibility. If no one is willing to apologize, the result will be indifference, alienation and even collapse. Especially in the family, there are many examples of parents or spouses "accidental and unintentional injuries are all for love"-if the cracks are not handled in time, the parties will inevitably feel angry. Once anger accumulates into resentment, some people will choose extreme ways to make those who hurt themselves pay for their actions. Many cases of family breakdown and juvenile delinquency remind us that if the husband or wife gave each other a chance to forgive themselves, and if the parents who hurt their children could sincerely apologize, the tragedy might not happen.

Unwilling to take the initiative to apologize may be influenced by traditional ideas, or it may be misunderstood. The main reason may be that many adults have not established the habit of apologizing to others since childhood. Dr gary Chapman warned: "Children can learn the language of apology at an early age. As they grow older, they will have a deeper understanding and understanding of the importance of apology and lay the foundation for the future development of morality and interpersonal communication. "

Therefore, in family education and school education, parents and teachers should boldly try to take responsibility by expressing their apologies. We will be surprised to find that after sincerely apologizing to others, we often get the same apology from the other party. Most importantly, let children learn how to deal with interpersonal conflicts and express their apologies from adult apology language.

In fact, apologizing will not only make people "lose face", but also help to improve their self-esteem. Tell children about their experiences of often apologizing, guide them to understand that apologizing is actually responsible for their actions, and help them realize the necessity of apologizing for maintaining good interpersonal relationships. These are all positive influences that parents should and must give their children.

Although the art of apologizing is not that simple, people can learn it and it is worth learning. Only those who sincerely apologize can get real forgiveness. When apology becomes a way of life, we will all get the acceptance, support and encouragement we need and taste the benefits of apology.