The most stable source of women's sense of security is not their husbands. What is that?

Yi Shu said in the novel "Xibao": "I hope to get a lot of love. If not, I hope to get a lot of money. "

In the final analysis, many women choose to fall in love and get married in order to seek security. When they are happy, they are shared. When they are sad, they attribute their sense of security to their own good feelings. Even for the smooth development of their feelings, they would rather give up their careers and dreams, feel at ease as women behind men and stay at home as housewives.

There seems to be nothing wrong with the idea that men are outside and women are inside, but this idea has the urge to gamble, because by doing so, the source of a woman's sense of security is no longer within her control, but given to others, even her husband, but her heart and stomach are separated. It's really hard to say how long this love can last.

Indeed, the economic base determines the superstructure, and so does the family. Only when women are in control of their own destiny, financially independent and rich can they maintain their charm and voice in the family for a long time and have the most stable source of security.

I interviewed three people who have been there before.

I have many young sisters, and their criteria for finding a partner is that the richer the other person is, the better, but I smile without saying a word.

In fact, before I got married, there were also very rich people pursuing me, but I finally chose a man with my income. My sisters said I was stupid, but I always believed in my choice.

Money is indeed the most important source of women's sense of security, and marrying a rich man seems to make them feel more secure.

But understand that even if you marry a rich man, the money belongs to the rich man, not you.

For me, only the money I earn in my pocket can give me the highest sense of security.

And a sense of security is as important to me as feelings. Life is short, and my desire is not high. It's better to marry someone who clearly loves himself but has almost the same income than to marry a rich man who is born inferior. Working together, * * * bears the storm and rainbow, and always feels that this is the best happiness.

After marriage, my husband has been urging me to leave. On the one hand, his income is relatively high, which is not bad for me. On the other hand, children really need to be taken care of.

But I don't want to keep giving up my career. Making money is only one aspect, but also one aspect. Work makes me very happy. Although I am busy, I feel very safe. When my husband talks about work, I also have something interesting to tell him about my work.

But in the end I gave up my career and returned to my family.

At first, it was quite comfortable. I don't have to catch the subway in the morning, and I don't have to deal with people I don't know. Besides housework, I can read books and walk my dog every day.

But over time, this life has become more and more boring, and my heart seems to be missing something. Every time I listen to my husband's funny stories at work, I can only listen like a vase.

Later, I chatted with several girlfriends and realized what I lacked, that is, a sense of security. Even if I have no money, even if I take my husband's income, it's like charity from the other side. I have been taught "no pains, no gains" since I was a child, but now I have become like this, and I will be more and more panicked.

It's easy to get angry when you are uncomfortable, and the person closest to you is your husband, so the more angry you are, the more quarrelsome you are. The more empty my heart is, the more insecure I feel, the more uncomfortable I feel, and so on.

I am a woman who grew up in a traditional family, and I have more or less the figure and habits of my parents. My mother is a stay-at-home housewife and brought up my brother and me. Father is the only source of income in the family, so his speech at home has never changed since he was a child, that is to say, he is uncompromising.

My mother works very hard and never quarrels with my father. To tell you the truth, I like this atmosphere very much. After getting married, I followed my mother's old path and became a full-time housewife, but the situation was beyond my imagination.

My husband met on a blind date, and the first feeling was that he was a bit like my dad, serious, and rarely talked and laughed even when he was in love, so I think I must be suitable for such a man, like a copy of my parents, and I will be happy for a lifetime.

However, since marriage, there have been contradictions. After the son was born, the contradiction became more and more serious. His male chauvinism, regardless of his family, always scolds me, scolds me when he is in a bad mood, and even scolds me when he buys something a little more expensive. He said that he worked hard outside, and I was like a moth at home, which made him uncomfortable.

But in front of the children, I have never shown it, at least giving them the appearance of a harmonious family, but I am extremely sad inside, and I am cautious every day, for fear that I can't stand his anger, which makes me feel insecure.

At this moment, I even suddenly remembered my "happy family" when I was a child. Is that what my mother thinks now? It's like a reincarnation.

Yi Shu said: "Only when women are economically independent can they talk about what rights they are fighting for."

Loving someone can be sacrificed for this, but it doesn't have to sacrifice the right to earn money. The older generation said that women hold up half the sky, and women's ability to earn money is as good as men's. Why do women stay at home as housewives? Isn't that a serious waste of what they learned in the past?

A woman can only be loved if she loves herself. Besides cherishing your body and dignity, you should also cherish your thoughts and dreams. Otherwise, it will be different from salted fish.

Women's sense of security has never been given by others, but it is distributed from the inside out. I gave it to myself, worked hard and bought it with money after hard work. This sense of security is the most reliable.