Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Traditional stories - What's the name of a cross talk on the phone (about cervical vertebrae is broadcast in the Spring Festival Evening)?
What's the name of a cross talk on the phone (about cervical vertebrae is broadcast in the Spring Festival Evening)?
These lines are as follows:
Funny: Friends like crosstalk very much.
Peng: That's right.
Funny: Because crosstalk can bring you joy.
Peng: I'm glad.
Doby: Well, I'm glad.
Peng: Yes.
Tease: There is a sense of happiness after listening.
Peng: Yes.
Doby: Hey, speaking of happiness, I want to ask you.
Peng: What did you ask me?
Doby: Tell me, what do you think is the happiest thing?
Peng: What is the happiest thing?
Doby: Yes.
Peng: Hehe, count the money!
Doby: Counting money? Count money wherever you go.
Peng: It's so beautiful!
Doby: Let's say you get off.
Peng: Yeah.
Teasing: Find a secluded place.
Peng: The fewer people, the better.
Tease: Take out your wallet. collide
Peng: Huh?
Tease: Put the money away. Poof-wow!
Peng: That's good.
Tease: Bi (read two words together), Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi. After counting, you just put the money in your pocket and throw away your wallet, and you will disappear into the darkness.
Peng: Am I a thief?
Doby: Do you still feel happy?
Peng: Happiness? ! If you catch me, you should go to jail.
Doby: Didn't you say that counting money is the happiest thing?
Peng: I counted my own money, not other people's money.
Funny: My point of view is different from yours.
Peng: What do you think is the happiest thing?
Doby: I think health is the happiest thing for people.
Peng: Oh, health.
Funny: this health is divided into physical health and mental health.
Peng: Two aspects.
Doby: It is not easy to achieve mental health!
Peng: Really?
Tease: Don't be angry, don't be angry, don't be angry, and keep a good attitude.
Peng: Huh?
Funny: easier said than done.
Peng: What's the difficulty?
Doby: No, I was annoyed by something the other day.
Peng: What makes you angry?
Funny: Because I often write, this cervical vertebra always hurts.
Peng: Oh, occupational diseases.
Doby: I want to consult an expert.
Peng: Solve it!
Funny: it's too much trouble to go to the hospital.
Peng: What should we do?
Funny: I just called a hotline.
Peng: That's very convenient.
Teasing: convenient? I was delayed with the switchboard for more than two hours, and nothing was solved.
Peng: You are also stupid enough. This will take two hours? Ten minutes, I can handle it.
Teasing: bragging!
Peng: We can try!
Doby: Come on!
Peng: Don't you just make a phone call? What's the big deal?
Teasing: Listen (four tones) and step on it! Listen (4) Step, step, step, step, step, step, step!
Peng: What is this?
Teasing: The phone is connected.
Peng: Oh, this is the waiting tone! I thought the allegro singer was here.
Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension directly. Please dial 0 for the phone number.
Peng: Well, that's very clear. Dial 0.
Hello, please press 1 for English service, 2 for Japanese service, 3 for Portuguese, 4 for Hindi, 5 for indigenous language and 6 for bird language.
Hold: bird language?
Teasing: In Persian, please press 7.
Peng: Hey, I can speak Chinese.
Teasing: Please press 8 for Chinese service.
Peng: If you say eight, it's over. Please press 8.
Hello, this is Chinese service. Press 1 for Shanghainese, 2 for Chongqing, 3 for Cantonese, 4 for Hunan and 5 for Tangshan.
Peng: Why are there dialects?
Funny: this is a consultant who satisfies the people all over the country.
Peng: Oh, that's very thoughtful. Hey, I can speak Mandarin.
Teasing: Please press 8 for Mandarin.
Peng: Oh, it's also 8.
Hello, this is the Mandarin service. Press 1 for the office, 2 for the talent center, 3 for the labor department, 4 for the administrative department, 5 for the registration office and 6 for the parking room.
Hold: parking lot?
Funny: press 6 for the parking lot, 6 for the parking lot, and 6 for the parking lot. ...
Peng: Why do you say this sentence?
Sorry, there is something wrong with the computer. Please press * to return to the previous unit.
Peng: Hey, ok! This must be returned. All right, all right, go back! Go back!
Doby: Listen and step on it! Listen step by step!
Peng: The Allegro singer hasn't left yet!
Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension directly. Please dial 0 for the phone number.
Peng: No need to check the number. I'll press 8.
Hello, this is Chinese service.
Peng: I also press 8.
Hello, this is the Mandarin service.
Peng: I press 8.
Hello, this is the morgue.
Peng: Right. Huh? Why did you push the morgue?
Funny: this hotline has a long-term cooperation with the morgue.
Peng: Really?
Doby: Please press 1 to pay tribute to the remains.
hum
Teasing: To order a shroud, press 2.
Peng: This. ...
Teasing: Please press 3 for information.
Peng: Hey, I don't want a morgue!
Doby: Who told you to press it?
I am looking for an expert.
Doby: Please press 9 for expert consultation.
Peng: Press 9 quickly.
Hello, this is the expert consultation hotline.
Peng: It is not easy!
Doby: Dear friend, have you ever been upset by being fat? Have you ever worried about the lack of a charming figure? Our exclusive diet tea will bring you good news.
Peng: There are advertisements on this mobile phone!
Teasing: This product is made of croton, rhubarb, castor oil and other precious medicinal materials.
Peng: It's all diarrhea.
Doby: After taking it, the effect is obvious, and it is non-toxic and has no side effects.
Peng: Oh!
Doby: Let's listen to Miss Li's feelings after taking it.
Peng: Another Miss Li.
Doby: Hello, everyone. Maybe you don't believe it.
Peng: What's wrong?
Funny: My original figure was really fat.
Peng: How fat is it?
Dou: At that time, my measurements once reached120/130/120.
Peng: The whole tank. What is this?
Doby: I'm really upset.
Peng: Oh!
Doby: Later, I was introduced and took a sip of slimming tea. (Suddenly loudly) Wow!
Peng: What do you mean?
Funny: the miracle really happened!
Peng: What miracle?
Funny: My measurements have been reduced to 38/38/38 in a month.
Peng: Ah.
Funny: Now my friends kindly call me Sanbapo.
Peng: Wow! (Hai) You are 38 years old!
Doby: I really appreciate the slimming tea!
Peng: Ah.
Doby: Now I am so happy! I had a great time! I'm so happy!
Peng: You hate it! Why is this advertisement endless?
Hello, this is the expert consultation hotline.
Peng: Ah.
Teasing: Please press 1 for male patients.
Peng: OK!
Teasing: Please press 2 for female patients.
Peng: Yeah.
Teasing: Please press 3 for patients with neutral gender.
Peng: Are there any neutral patients?
Teasing: Please press 4 for manual service.
Peng: Let's have an artificial one. Please press 4.
Hello, the line is busy now, please wait a moment.
Peng: Oh, it will take some time.
Doby: Sister, you take the bow! !
Peng: What does this mean?
Doby: This is a song on standby.
Peng: Oh, you startled me.
Teasing: Enen loves love, and the string swings leisurely!
Peng: I have no time to listen to music. Press 2 to try.
Doby: Hug, hug, wow, carry my sister into the sedan chair. ...
Peng: It is also waiting here. Please press 3.
Doby: Sister, go ahead.
Peng: I press 4!
Doby: Silly girl, silly girl,
Peng: Why are they all sisters?
Doby: How many good sisters do you have? Why, um ... (Suddenly there is no sound)
Peng: Why is there no sound?
Sorry, the standby time is too long. Please press * to return to the previous unit.
Peng: I am wasting my time again! I don't believe it today.
Doby: Listen and step on it! listen to ..
Peng: Can we get rid of the Allegro singer?
Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. ...
Peng: I'll press 8 for Chinese service!
Teasing: Hello. ...
Peng: I'll press 8 for Mandarin!
Teasing: Hello. ...
Hold: expert consultation, I press 9!
Teasing: Hello. ...
Peng: I press 4 for manual service!
Teasing: Hello. 54 188 at your service.
Peng: What kind of number is this? It is easy for someone to pick me up and give me a lifetime.
Doby: What can I do for you?
Peng: I am looking for an expert!
Doby: What are you looking for?
Peng: Find an expert!
Doby: Would you speak louder?
Peng: I have a loud voice. I'll get an expert!
Teaser: What are you shouting?
Peng: I'm too noisy again.
Doby: Which expert?
Peng: I ... How do I know? Who are you?
We have four professors, Zhao Qiansun and Li.
Peng: Oh, I'll find Professor Zhao!
Professor Zhao is making house calls.
Peng: Then I'll get the money, Professor!
Doby: Professor Qian is on a business trip!
Peng: Then I'll find Professor Sun!
Doby: Professor Sun has gone abroad!
Peng: Then I'll find Professor Li!
Teasing: Professor Li has gone to the funeral!
Peng: Hey ... Funeral?
Doby: His fourth aunt died and went to the funeral.
Peng: Well, nobody. Hey, I said, what kind of service is this?
If you are satisfied with our service, please press 1.
Peng: Huh?
Teasing: Please press 2 to send the banner.
Hold: send ...
Teasing: Please press 3 for verbal praise.
Peng: I praised you. I want to complain to you!
Funny: Please dial 3. 14 15997932 for the complaint telephone number. ...
Peng: I can't remember this number! Ouch. I see, after all this time, you are not virtuous at all. I know, you just want to delay my call and waste my money. I tell you, you found me an expert today, and nothing happened between us. If you can't find it, I'll sue you at the Consumer Association! I accuse you of fraud!
Doby: Oh, what's your hurry?
Peng: Find someone for me!
Doby: Then we only have one intern here. Do you think it's okay?
Peng: Don't worry about the internship. Tell him to come to me.
Doby: Wait for me to call you.
Peng: Go! This is so boring. I tell you, the soft ones are afraid of the hard ones, and the hard ones are afraid of the horizontal ones. People have to have a temper. Dogs bite when they are in a hurry, don't you think?
Doby: Which dog wants to bite?
Peng: Hello, it's me. Ah, bah! What's the point?
Doby: You need a vaccine if you bite it! The incubation period of rabies is very long!
Peng: Huh?
Funny: up to 20 years!
Peng: What do you mean, where have you been?
Doby: Didn't you say that a mad dog was going to bite?
Peng: Oh, no, I ordered something.
Doby: Oh, is that you?
Peng: Right, right, right.
Doby: Not a dog?
Peng: Hey, forget about the dog, okay?
Doby: What are you consulting?
Peng: I have a bad cervical vertebra. Do you think there is any way to treat it?
Doby: It's simple!
Peng: What's wrong?
Teasing: You've been sitting too long!
Peng: You are an expert. You hit the nail on the head.
Doby: Your stool is hard. That part of you is always rubbing against that stool. How can it not hurt?
Peng: Wait a minute, expert, wait a minute! I asked about the cervical vertebra, not the coccyx! Why did you return the stool?
Doby: No, where is it?
Hold down: cervical vertebra.
Teasing: cervical vertebrae?
Peng: Yes.
Doby: Where is the cervical vertebra?
Peng: Hey. Hmm? You don't know?
Tease: How could I not know? I don't know. Can I answer the phone here?
Peng: Then explain it to me.
Tease: You don't understand what I'm talking to you.
Peng: Oh, you say.
Funny: cervical vertebra, neck is neck and spine is spine, which are two completely different concepts.
Peng: No, what's the difference?
Doby: Of course! Neck, commonly known as neck. The neck is the language of life!
Peng: Oh, oh. ...
Doby: For example, if you go to the vegetable market, you have to tell people that you bought a chicken neck.
Peng: Huh?
Doby: I'll get you a chicken neck. But when you tell people that you bought a chicken neck, they don't know which part!
Peng: I have never heard of buying a "chicken neck"!
Doby: Speaking of this chicken, I want to focus on one point.
Peng: What are you talking about?
Funny: I killed a lot of chickens this year (referring to 2004). Why?
Peng: Bird flu!
Doby: No! That's because this year is the Year of the Monkey.
Peng: No, what does it matter?
Tease: Kill the chicken for the monkey!
Take it: show it to the monkey.
Doby: So you have to see it!
Peng: What am I looking at?
Doby: You see a doctor. what are you reading?
Peng: No, what you said has nothing to do with me!
Doby: Don't worry, I just told you about the vertebrae below the neck!
Peng: What happened to the spine?
Teasing: The spine is a hollow bone in your neck.
Peng: The chicken is finished. It's time for You Zhu to play!
Doby: The cavity bone is the language of life!
Peng: Ah.
Doby: For example, if you go to the vegetable market,
Peng: Why did I go to the vegetable market again?
Tease: If you tell people that you bought a pig cavity, they will give you a pig cavity.
Peng: Ah.
Doby: But when you tell people that you bought a pig spine, they don't understand!
Peng: What is this? This is ...
So this vegetable market-
Peng: I said expert, expert, can you come out for a moment? You went to the vegetable market twice in such a short time! You've been talking about dogs, You Zhu and chickens for a long time. You must be a vet, right?
Doby: Yes!
Peng: What?
Tease: What! Let me give you an example through this animal!
Peng: What does this have to do with me?
Doby: You are an animal!
Peng: Hey. Hmm?
Teasing: Oh no, you are an advanced animal!
Peng: That's not what you said!
Doby: I'll tell you about cervical vertebrae through animals!
Peng: What's the matter?
Doby: Let you know that the neck is the neck and the spine is the spine. Don't treat the neck as a spine, treat the spine as a neck. There should be a spine in the neck, and a neck in the spine.
Peng: Yes, I understand. ...
But the neck cannot represent the spine, and the spine cannot represent the neck.
Peng: Ah, right, right, right.
Doby: The neck is the neck and the spine is the spine. If you don't know what a neck is and what a spine is, you don't know which is a spine and which is a neck. Peng: No. ...
So, cervical vertebra, cervical vertebra, cervical vertebra, this cervical vertebra, do you understand?
Peng: Expert, did you eat too much pig's nest bone tonight? Huh? How can you help me cure this disease by walking around like this?
Your illness is only four words.
Peng: What are those four words?
Bone hyperplasia.
Peng: Put some music on this, too.
That's why this shoulder, arm, chest and front part will hurt!
Peng: That's the symptom.
Doby: Of course, I am reluctant to spend money.
Peng: Ah.
Doby: If this disease drags on, there will be sequelae.
Peng: Really?
Doby: When the time comes, your hands and feet will be numb, your muscles will atrophy and your limbs will be paralyzed!
Peng: Oh dear!
Doby: How old are you this year?
Peng: I'm thirty-six.
Doby: Soon!
Peng: What do you mean fast?
Doby: I'm paralyzed!
Peng: Huh? This is paralysis?
Doby: After you were paralyzed, your wife took your child away and you separated!
Peng: OK, I'll make a phone call. Our home is ruined. Hey! I said, expert, what medicine do you suggest I take now?
Funny: reluctant to spend money. What medicine do you take?
Peng: How about I do a traction?
Doby: Don't bother.
Peng: Why don't I receive acupuncture treatment?
Doby: Don't think about acupuncture.
Peng: Then what should I consider?
Doby: Think about whether your salary this month is enough to pay the telephone bill!
Peng: I still get paid!
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