Who knows the wedding customs of Mudanjiang?

Feudal society, men and women are not close to each other, emphasizing that "no clouds in the sky do not rain, on the ground without a matchmaker is not a marriage". Both men and women generally have to be from the people from the matchmaking, in order to "knot silk Luo", "harmonize Qin Jin", "tied", "through the two surnames good ". This kind of matchmaking is called "matchmaking". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, "matchmaking" was renamed "introduction", and the person who did this kind of matchmaking work was elegantly known as "moonlight", commonly known as "matchmaker", later renamed as "matchmaker", and later renamed as "matchmaker". "

The first time I saw a woman in the world, I was able to see her in her own skin.

The "old man" is short for "old man under the moon". According to the Tang Dynasty Novels, a scholar named Wei Gu passed through Songcheng at night and bumped into an old man sitting on the side of the road leaning on a big pocket, flipping through a big book under the moonlight. Wei Gu asked him what book he was examining. The old man replied that it was the marriage book of the world. Wei Ku also asked the old man what was in that big pocket. The old man replied, "It contains red ropes to tie the feet of men and women. As long as the feet of a man and a woman are tied to a red rope, even if they are enemies or strangers separated by thousands of miles, they will surely become husband and wife." Therefore, people say, "A thousand miles of marriage is linked by a thread." "If the Santa Claus under the moon does not use a red thread to tie them together, they can no longer come to one place." This shows the reverence people have for matchmakers.

The matchmaker is also known as the "Red Queen". In the Tang Dynasty, Yuan Zhen, a talented scholar, wrote a book called "The Legend of Yingying," which portrayed the image of a clever and lively servant girl named Hongniang. In this story, the clever and lively servant girl Hongniang was portrayed as a clever and lively servant girl who, through her repeated schemes, finally arranged the marriage between Zhang Sheng and Miss Yingying. In the Yuan Dynasty, Wang Shifu wrote "The Story of the Western Chamber" based on this story, in which the image of Hongniang was even more clever and lovely. People use the term "Hongniang" to refer to matchmakers, showing the importance and friendliness they attach to them.

Matchmaking is not an easy thing, which can be known from the matchmaker is elegantly called "ice man", "ice axe". According to the Book of Jin, filial piety Lian Linghu Ce had a dream that he was on the ice, talking to the people under the ice. Suo interpreted this dream, said: "you are on the ice with the people under the ice to talk, which symbolizes that you are reconciling yin and yang, reconciling yin and yang is to do the medium, you will be a matchmaker for others. But this is not an easy matchmaking, you have to melt the ice with your passion before the man and woman can get married." It seems that being a matchmaker requires passion and perseverance.

Old-style weddings, the matchmaker is also known as a "va ke man", and matchmaking is "de ke", which affirms that the matchmaker is an essential role. The poem "Poetry" sings: "How to cut the ke? I can't do it with an axe. How about taking a wife? No matchmaker is allowed." It means, "How can I cut down a big branch? You can't cut it down without an axe; how can you get a wife? You can't get married without a matchmaker."

Matchmaking is a skill, the matchmaker should not only be familiar with the basic situation of the man and the woman and their families, and strive to propose marriage, and must do both basically accurately to the man and the woman and their parents to reflect each other's situation, but also as far as possible to hide the evil and promote the good, so that both sides are fully cognizant of the other side's strengths, and thus be happy to reach the agreement of marriage. That is to say, to be born with a "matchmaker mouth". Matchmakers should be diligent in running errands, and from the day they start to match men and women, they should often travel between the two families to exchange information, convey each other's wishes and requirements, and prevent unforeseen changes from occurring. Customary men and women are obliged to entertain the matchmaker, country people say "matchmaking hundred meals" is not an exaggeration. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that with a new one.

The matchmaker is an important role in the old-fashioned wedding. In the men and women of the two sides of the marriage to achieve a basic agreement, he has to guide the man to meet, on behalf of the two sides to send for the gung sticker, leading the man over the gift of engagement, choose the auspicious date of marriage, guide the man to receive the marriage, and co-operate with the worship of the wedding matters, until the "newcomer into the room", only to "matchmaker thrown over the wall! The matchmaker was not thrown over the wall until the "newcomer entered the room". The two sides are satisfied with the matchmaker, and then often come and go, become old friends; the matchmaker is not good, the two sides are not satisfied, often attributed to the matchmaker, and from then on as a passer-by.

Said a pile of matchmaking, the matchmaker can get some money, called "thank you gift". This money is usually paid by the man (or the woman if the man goes to the woman's house), and is sent to the matchmaker's house the day before the wedding, along with chickens, elbows, shoes, socks, and fabrics for the matchmaker. The next day, the matchmaker must go to guide the marriage, which is called "round matchmaking" or "Kai Matchmaking" or "Fat Matchmaking". The amount of money to thank the matchmaker, depending on the economic situation of the host family to decide, but no matter how much, are required to be sealed with red paper, known as the "red packet" or "packet seal". It is customary to write "Baofeng sign" on the red envelope.

Engagement

Engagement is also known as "wending", formerly known as "naji" and "nazheng", and although engagement is not as complicated as marriage, the traditional custom still attaches great importance to it. Very important, both men and women need to prepare a number of gifts, the process is as follows:

The bridegroom to go on the road to marry! The groom first home after the family rituals, and then with the matchmaker in a car to the woman's home to marry. When you get out of the car and enter the door, you can't run away from the red envelope!

(A) tribute to the official: commonly known as "Mr. Box", specifically responsible for sending gifts to the line of recruitment matters. Tribute to the officer must control the number of people (to make up an even number), vehicles (six or twelve), bride price (even number and properly wrapped in red paper), six gifts.

(2) family rituals: before departing to the woman's home, the man first home ancestor worship ceremony, which will be used to pick the "box of cakes" or cakes, incense offerings to the ancestor Song, will be going to the woman's home somewhere to hire, and to ask for the blessing of the ancestor this marriage rafters beautiful and happy.

(3) Departure: After performing the family rituals, the Tribute Officer is responsible for carrying all the bridegroom's gifts to the car, and the groom and the matchmaker travel together in the same car to the home.

(4) Red packets: Before departure, the Gongli Palace must remind the groom to prepare more red packets in addition to the number of people, the number of cars, and the bride price. Such as: come to open the groom's car door uncle, "pressure table", six relatives who go with the bride need to be prepared to meet the gift, hold the wash water of the female new friends, matchmaker gift.

Booked for life after how to hire? You've heard of the saying "Eat rice and marry a good son-in-law"! That's why there should be rice crackers in the six rites. In addition, why should we prepare four colors of sugar? It is to symbolize the sweetness of the couple, and to make them grow old together. The bride-price not only represents the man's intention to repay the woman's parents, thank the woman's family for their painstaking efforts to raise the new bride, but also represents the face of the man. Therefore, most of them are willing to add a beautiful, decent, and each piece of the bride price also contains the symbolism of good luck, increase the success. Bride price is usually divided into simple six gifts or elaborate twelve gifts, the amount of bride price in accordance with the individual budget arrangements, and it may be worthwhile to ask the matchmaker to ask the woman's parents for advice, ask the woman's opinion, to make the best of both worlds. The official debut of the marriage of a man and a woman The sound of firecrackers, the man to marry the people to arrive! On the day of the ceremony, ancestors will be worshipped, tea will be served, and the ceremony will not be considered complete until the ring of holding hands until the end of life is put on. After the ceremony, how does the woman return the gift? The Chinese have always been concerned about the "rituals of the past", after the man over the big gift, the woman naturally also want to prepare gifts, can not let the man return empty-handed ah.

Looking at the bride

In ancient times, women were often "born in the bosom of the people did not know, it is ugly and ugly, no one knows". After the matchmaker, the man often put forward the request to take a look. The male side in the matchmaker's side dish to the female family for the first visit to the activities, known as the "look pro". It is also known as "matchmaking".

The date of the matchmaking is pre-determined by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women, so both sides have to get ready. The man has to prepare a small gift according to the preferences of the woman's parents; the woman has to clean the courtyard and prepare to receive guests. As a party, both men and women should dress up as elegantly as possible, and have some splendor, in order to give each other a good "first impression".

Looking at the relatives is a key part of the success of the marriage, especially the men, especially to be treated with caution. Although the gift is nothing more than cigarettes, wine and snacks and so on, and do not care about the number and value of high, and must be to their liking, do not offend each other's parents' taboos; dress to be generous into the time; speech and behavior to be modest and courteous. In ancient times, when looking at the marriage, the man can only be created by the matchmaker to sneak a look at the girl, now it is different, men and women can directly meet, talk. Both sides have the opportunity to have a preliminary understanding of each other.

China is a country of etiquette and righteousness that emphasizes subtlety. The result of seeing the bride is often not directly confessed, but with a variety of hints to show. Many places are in the male party after the door, the female parents first pour a cup of hot tea to the young man, the young man looked at the girl felt like, the cup of tea drink dry; then the girl's parents with the girl to discuss, such as agreeing to marry, stay with the male party and the matchmaker for dinner, do not agree to let the male party to leave to go home, some parents and even the matchmaker will be the male party to bring the gift to take away.

In some areas, in addition to seeing the marriage, there is also the custom of "family". "Tsa family" is actually also look at the family, is the male party led by the matchmaker to the female party has seen the girl, the woman's parents on the marriage of the tentative position, and then led by the matchmaker, back to the side of the male family. Qiyang area is known as "see when". See when, the male parents should first offer a fragrant tea, and then talk to the women's parents. Women's parents by looking at the male family and talk to the male parents, if the marriage is recognized, will drink the tea, the male parents immediately to the "in-laws", and hospitality to guests. Otherwise, the woman's parents should get up and leave, the man should not be forced to stay.

Marriage

1. Food dumplings: the groom in the marriage before departure, to eat dumplings with their parents and brothers and girlfriends, said the parting, the mother fed her daughter dumplings, the bride cried.

2. Happiness: the groom and the female family to meet, should hold the bouquet to the room to be married to the bride, at this time, the bride's girlfriend to deliberately stop the groom, but the conditions to be promised to the groom, usually to the red packet gift deal.

3. Bid farewell: the bride should bow to say goodbye to her parents, and the groom can only bow and salute.

4. out of the door: the bride should be a blessed high female elders with bamboo plaque or black umbrella to protect their walk to the limousine, because the bride can not see the sun on top of the head, the other party wants to be like the female elders, live a happy and fulfilling life. (Note: Prepare the bamboo plaque, and stick the word "happy" on it)

5. Gift car: the bamboo plaque can be placed on the back cover of the gift car.

6. To the fan: the bride on the gift car before the bride, by an auspicious little boy holding a fan to the bride (placed on the tea tray) the bride is returned to the red packet in appreciation. (Note: ready to tie a fan with two small red envelopes)

7. Do not say goodbye: when all leave the door of the woman's home, never say goodbye to the woman's family.

8. Throw the fan: after the start of the limousine, the bride should throw the fan out the window, meaning that the bad nature of the in-laws will not be brought, the boy will pick up the fan to the female family members, the female family members back to the red envelope in appreciation.

9. Firecrackers: the gift car left the woman's home to set off firecrackers.

10. touch tangerine: the gift car to the man's home, by a child with two oranges to meet the newcomers, the bride to lightly touch a tangerine, and then a gift of red packets of thanks.

11. hold the bride: the bride off the car, the male party should be a blessed elder holding a bamboo plaque on top of the bride's head, and support the bride into the hall.

12. Avoid stepping on the threshold: to cross the threshold.

13. Over the fire pot, step on the tile: the bride into the hall, to cross the fire pot, and step on the broken tiles.

14. into the bridal chamber: the newlyweds sat together on the bench pre-padded with the groom's pants, saying that the two men from now on a heart and seek to have a man in the future. No man is allowed to enter the bridal chamber. (Into the bridal chamber to choose to book the hour)

15. Avoid sitting on the new bed: wedding day, no one can not sit on the new bed, the bride can not lie down so as not to year-round illness in bed. In addition, after the bed to the wedding night, to find an underage boy, and the groom to sleep in bed together.

The Cave

Traditional Chinese marriages are characterized by the grandeur of their rituals and the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony. It usually has to go through the mention, betrothal, marriage, and other "procedures"; which to the wedding night of the friends and relatives in the cave playful bride and groom, the newcomer to go back to bed hand in hand as a culmination of a climax. In the old days, this has given rise to a number of perverse and irrational behavior, because more than occurred in the cave, it is called "room", "haunted cave", "haunted new room"; due to this custom to the bride as the main fun! object is also known as "haunted bride" "play bride", also known as "theater women" in the old days.

The custom seems simple, but has a long history and strong influence. From the scope of influence, it can be said that all over the country; from the time of existence, it is almost throughout the entire feudal society, until the modern era is still popular. The custom of haunting the room began in the Han Dynasty, pre-Qin period, the wedding simple, solemn. Confucius in the "Book of Rites - Zeng Zi asked" to describe the wedding scene at that time, said: marrying a woman's home, three days without resting the candle, think of the phase; marrying back to the family three days without lifting the music think of the heir relatives also." Reflects the simplicity of the pre-Qin wedding habits, there is no clamor and chaos of the scene. Into the Han, after the social and economic development, people are no longer satisfied with the old-fashioned and dull wedding, no longer adhere to the "three days do not lift the music" of the ancient teachings, began to make a big deal, so that the wedding covered with the color of the world's festivities. Recent Yang Shuda in the "Han dynasty wedding and funeral rites and customs" book test: "and for the guests, often drinking and laughing, words and deeds without fear, such as the world of the new room for those who have to make a fuss, Han that is, there has been." Yang cited the end of the Han Zhong Changtong's "Chang Yan" in the record: "This marriage will be, whacking staff to supervise the banter sweet to fun of lust, declared obscene and anonymous in a wide range of the public, showing the private in the new family, dirty wind and weird customs, birth of obscene long rape, more than this very much, can not be constantly also." It can be seen from this, from the beginning of its appearance, is regarded as a kind of bad customs and vices. On the origins of the custom of haunted house, there are two sayings in our folklore. One says that it originates from driving away evil spirits to avoid disasters. Legend has it that, a long time ago, Zi Wei Xing one day down to earth, on the road to meet a woman wearing mourning, trailing in a group of welcoming team, he saw that this is the devil in waiting for an opportunity to do evil, so follow the groom's home, only to see that the woman has arrived first, and hide in the cave. When the bride and groom were about to enter the bridal chamber after paying respect to heaven and earth, Zi Wei Xing guarded the door and refused to enter, saying that the devil was hiding inside. The people asked him to show them the way to get rid of the devil, and he suggested, "The devil is most afraid of crowds, and if there are many people, the devil won't dare to do evil." So, the groom invited the guests to play and joke in the bridal chamber, and drove away the evil spirits with laughter; sure enough, at the fifth hour, the devil finally fled. It can be seen that the beginning of the cave is covered with the color of driving away evil spirits and avoiding disasters. Haunting the bridal chamber to drive away evil customs in the north and south of all places. Newlyweds into the bridal chamber before the middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River, the bridegroom the night before shall sleep in the bridal chamber, beforehand, please two girls holding red candles will be in the new room to light again; Tianjin people are asked to blowing class in the new room blowing, in order to seek good luck. Newlyweds into the room, the room is still very important to drive the evil. Such as in the east rise, the groom into the house to symbolically shoot an arrow to each of the four corners of the new room, or holding a single knife to each corner of the virtual cut a knife, and the song said: "a cut demon, two cut monster, three cut the devil's bad head, four cut the God of Mourning quickly leave, laugh at the unicorn to send a son." A more common custom is to build a long-lasting lamp in the new house. This is what is meant by the so-called "Candlelight Night in the Bridal Chamber". Some scholars say that the custom of "listening to the room" is essentially a protective measure against ghosts and monsters entering the room.

Another viewpoint on the origin of the room, the room first appeared in the north, and the beginning of the groom is mainly this is probably related to the habits of the northern peoples. They are hunting and nomadic as a means of life, making the men very tough and courageous, in the newlyweds to endure the beating can prove that a man is a qualified husband. Some backward peoples in the world to self-mutilation and abuse to show the qualification of men, and even take the hunted head as a token even, I am afraid that the same out of a sense. Haunting the house in ancient times retained this primitive custom.

Return ceremony

Three days after the wedding, the bride will have to return to the bride's home with the groom, also known as "back to the door". This is an essential ritual. The heart of the bride's old man attaches great importance to the three days back to the door, so the groom beforehand, whether it is from the mind or in the gift should be prepared, and strive to give the father-in-law and mother-in-law left a pleasant good impression. Gifts prepared in advance, buy the bride's family favorite gifts, gifts generally have four. Back to the door generally in the morning at nine or ten o'clock to move. Bride and groom should participate in the wedding as seriously grooming, to maintain the wedding that beautiful and handsome image. Back to the mother's home, the bride and groom should first greet the elderly. At this time, the bridegroom should change their mouths, with the bride as parents-in-law as father, mother, to call a natural, cordial, treating friends and neighbors should also show cordiality and warmth, courteous and polite, to see people first greetings, to treat each other with courtesy. Meals, the bride to accompany the groom, one by one, parents, friends and neighbors toast, thank you for the blessing of their new marriage. After the meal, do not rush home, should accompany the parents to chat for a while, listen to their teachings, and then take their leave to go home. And you should take the initiative to invite the two elderly and your siblings to be guests in your own home, as well as friends, relatives and neighbors.

Taboos

1, after settling the bed to the night before the wedding, to find a minor boy and the groom to sleep in the bed together because traditionally believed that [ sleeping in an empty bed, not dead husband also dead wife ].

2, the day of the wedding, to the night before going to bed, all the people try to stay away from the new bed, especially the new absolutely can not touch the edge of the bed, it will be unlucky.

3, the wedding day, avoid letting people sit on the new bed.

4, the wedding day, the bride can not be arbitrary lying in bed, or long sick in bed.

5, the wedding taboo tiger people watching the ceremony.

6, the wedding day bride out of the aunt and sister-in-law can not send.

7, the bride on the day of the wedding to leave her mother's home, the more you cry, the better, because [ do not cry not hair ].

8, the bride's clothes avoid having bags, so as not to take away the family fortune.

9, the third day after the wedding, the newlyweds with gifts back to the bride's home, that is, for the return of peace. But remember that the day to be rushed back to the husband's home before dark, can not spend the night in the mother's home.

10, four months after the wedding, the bride can not participate in any wedding ceremonies, so as not to wash the happy.

11, the bride's mirror should not be lent to others.

12, within four months of marriage, unless necessary (such as honeymoon travel), the bride should not stay out overnight.