On the Traditional Marriage Etiquette in China

In the past, the folk wedding customs in Guizhou were based on the provisions of "three books and six rituals". For example, after the man chooses a young lady, let the matchmaker bring a gift to propose to her. If the young lady accepts the gift, it means that she agrees to the marriage. The man asked the young lady's age, that is, name, year of birth, month, day, time, etc., and wrote it in Geng Shu to go back to divination. If both men and women are suitable for each other, marriage cannot be concluded. If it is a good omen, it is a perfect match. The man will inform the woman and decide the marriage, which is equivalent to today's engagement. Later, the man's family sent the official letter to the woman's family, and sent gifts such as cakes, goose wine and gift money, which is the origin of today's custom of "marrying a woman to send cakes". After the ceremony, the man chose an auspicious day and asked the matchmaker to inform the woman's home. With the consent of the woman's parents, he began to prepare for the wedding reception.

The day before the wedding, the bride paraded the dowry to the man's house with her sisters' shoulders. Before the wedding, the man's family will send a book as a gift to the woman's family, and then carry a red sedan chair to celebrate the wedding. When the bride went out to get on the sedan chair and got off the sedan chair to enter the groom's door, Sister Dajin carried her in and out. Sister Daikin played the role of guiding and assisting the bride to go to church during the whole wedding process. The guard of honor has a set of eight-tone classes. Before departure, the two people who led the way carried a pair of palace lanterns that read "A family got married", beating gongs and drums and playing melodious flutes along the way. The scene was very lively, attracting passers-by to stop and watch.

More interestingly, when the wedding was held, the groom wore a red embroidered jacket and a feathered dress; The bride has red hair and a dress hat. After the visit, many extended families held a grand banquet for their relatives and friends in the ancestral hall, and asked the master of ceremonies to help with everything. When relatives and friends came, the drummer waiting outside played music, indicating that guests were coming, and the groom heard the music. That is to say, going out to welcome the guests in and being seated by the emcee, the whole party will be jubilant and not rude. After the banquet, there will be a wedding ceremony as usual. At this time, a group of brothers, classmates, relatives and friends will come up with all kinds of humorous topics for the bride and groom to answer, perform and sing. This kind of strong atmosphere made "Playing with the Bride" reach its climax, and it was popular with both refined and popular tastes.

The groom wears a red belt and a champion hat, and the bride leads HongLing across the fire and presents a "new hug" of tea ... This is a traditional wedding with Shunde local characteristics that I saw in Nansha, Jun 'an a few days ago.

According to Miss Wang, the bride, Shunde people basically follow such a set of etiquette when they get married: worshipping gods, putting words, changing clothes, welcoming relatives, pouring new tea and offering sacrifices to ancestors. Before planning the wedding, she prepared a "faucet mirror ruler" at the order of her husband's family. The so-called "faucet mirror ruler" refers to a big basin, a wooden ruler and a bundle of red lines; Two mirrors, two combs and two scissors, all left at home; A pair of vases, a pair of oil lamps and a pair of kettles; A whole box (similar to a candy box) and a set of tea sets (plates, cups and teapots) for the newlyweds to offer tea. The bride will use this tea set to offer tea throughout the wedding.

"His mother bought me a red ribbon embroidered with dragons and phoenixes, a red umbrella and a box. When you go out, cover your head with a red umbrella, hold a red ribbon in your hand, and put your clothes in a box cage. When I entered the door, the box was advanced, and the couple had to worship before entering the door. "

Not only that, in front of the groom's house, I also saw the "big sister" take a handful of red paper and let the bride draw it after lighting it. After that, the groom took off the top hat with a pair of palace flowers on his head and covered the bride's head with three hats, which puzzled the outsiders present. Ask those who have been "big sisters" at the wedding, and they all say that this is the characteristic of Shunde. Now many Shunde people will strictly follow these details when they get married.

Mr. Chen, who lives now, said that there are actually many customs and habits that outsiders can't see. For example, the night before the wedding, the groom should take a shower and change clothes from head to toe, then worship God and choose a nephew to sleep with him at home that night. In the evening, friends and brothers can't be invited to drink sugar water too late, because the next morning, they will worship their elders with tea and eat jiaozi, which means reunion. Then, the groom and the invited brothers decide when to greet the bride, when to leave and when to pick up the bride. Generally, people are asked to calculate the auspicious time in advance. It seems that Shunde people are really particular about getting married. Let the married Shunde people come together:

Gift: Live chickens and ducks are indispensable, and red rice wine should be matched.

According to local people, the ceremony is usually held ten days before the wedding, which means that the groom proposes to the bride's house. Its gifts mainly include the following kinds: gift money, cake and red rice wine. The most distinctive gift is probably a pair of live chickens, ducks and geese, and the most important gift is the gift money. "Generally three thousand, six thousand, eight thousand, one is to see the man's economic strength, and the other is the number of this gift to a good heart. When I gave myself a gift, the gift money was 6.8 thousand. " Mr. Chen recalled.

This gift cake is a unique dragon and phoenix cake in Shunde, with lotus seed paste and egg yolk, and a white box with a pair of dividends. The number of cakes depends on the number of relatives in the woman's family. Generally speaking, an invitation should be accompanied by a pair of gift cakes. Buy by weight when you buy. "There are about six gift cakes in a catty." Red rice wine should also be matched.

Wedding: Set out at the right time and return at the right time.

Usually after lunch at one or two, the groom will come to the woman's house to pick up relatives. "The most interesting thing about the wedding is that the sisters want to profit from it," said Mrs. Chen. From the sky-high price of 99999 to 999, it takes a long time to negotiate. "In addition, the man should bring symbolic gifts, such as chicken, pork, wine and coconuts to the woman's house. If the gift is simple, it will also cause difficulties for her family. "

When the bride goes out, she must not forget to say goodbye to her ancestors. Miss Wang wants a cup of maiden tea after her ancestor worship, and then she officially goes out.

Entering the door: To "hug" tea, the whole body is covered with jewelry.

After entering the room, Miss Wang put on a dragon and phoenix costume, began to worship the ancestors of her new home with the help of her eldest sister and bridesmaids, and then offered tea to her new grandmother. "After that, I began to offer tea to other elders of the male family. When offering tea, newcomers usually kneel to show respect, and elders also send red envelopes and gifts. According to the ancient custom of Shunde, the elders always prepare gold and silver jewelry in return, and the newlyweds have to wear it when they receive the gift. Some newcomers have full hands and some have too many rings. In order to prevent them from being lost, they will tie them on their hands with small red lines. " Wearing gold and silver in this way is a respect for the elders and a symbol of wealth. I usually put it away after wearing it at a wedding reception, and I won't wear it like this again.

"Some towns in Shunde hold weddings and go to local temples and ancestral temples to worship. This kind of etiquette is no longer used here. Young people in many cities have also begun to simplify marriage. " Mrs. Chen recalled that when she got married, she went to the man's village to worship the temple in a big way. "There are no such temples in many places now."

The groom wants the word "word" and the bride crosses the brazier.

"Big Sister" in Traditional Marriage Customs

In the traditional wedding custom, when the bride leaves home and enters the man's house, the "big sister" will hold a red umbrella for her. Aunt Li, 63, is the "big sister" of this wedding. She explained many details of local traditional wedding customs to me.

I do: Is this wedding a wedding that strictly abides by local traditions? Is there anything simplified compared with the previous marriage customs?

Aunt Li: This is a wedding that strictly abides by tradition. The formalities of etiquette have been completed, and there is nothing to omit. But some details are definitely different from before. For example, in the past, the bride used to pick up the bride in a sedan chair, and the bride had to wear a red wedding dress and a headscarf. Now, cars are used, and brides wear wedding dresses without red headscarves.

I do: What will the bride and groom say at the wedding?

Aunt Li: The bride and groom have nothing to say specifically, but there are many wedding etiquette, and most newlyweds don't understand it, so there will be "concave-convex" (no word, homophonic) to accompany them all the time, and the newlyweds will listen to concave-convex instructions.

I do: What should the man bring to the wedding reception? What do these things mean?

Aunt Li: When you get married, bring chicken, goose, wine and meat to show the sincerity of the man. After hundreds of years of evolution, these items have been selected as wedding ceremony items.

I am willing: What should a woman bring to start? What's the point?

Aunt Li: The woman must wear a "head cage". The modern "head cage" is a suitcase. The "head cage" should enter the room before the bride, which contains the bride's clothes and beautiful fruits such as red dates, lotus seeds, longan and longan, which means "the birth of a baby".

I do: What are the taboos of traditional weddings?

Aunt Li: The mourners at home can't come, and on the wedding day, the house will definitely be dirty, but no matter how dirty it is, you can't sweep the floor. These two taboos are mainly for fear of jubilation.

I do: What does the newcomer say when he comes in? When do you offer tea to your parents?

Aunt Li: The bride should cross the brazier after entering the door. After entering the door, the groom will take off his hat and "cover" it on the bride's head three times, which means that the bride should be obedient when entering the door. After paying homage to the church and God, you should offer tea to your parents, and you should kneel three times and knock nine times.

I am willing to: What is the most important link in a traditional wedding, which must not be omitted?

Aunt Li: If the wedding is held according to the traditional wedding, there are basically no links that can be omitted. But the most important thing is to help the groom "put the words on it", that is, the groom has a name before marriage and no words. The words above indicate that the groom has been married and can have words. This word is accompanied by the groom's life. In ancient times, even if the groom won the first prize, he used this word. The inscription is written on the scarlet letter at night, at a pre-selected time, and after the ceremony, the groom's words are hung high on the wall. At a wedding like this, the groom's word is "Xiongchang".

I would like to: So, Aunt Li, how did you get married when you were young? What dowry is popular?

Aunt Li: We were not as rich as we are now when we were young. We don't have a refrigerator or a washing machine. At that time, there were scissors, rulers, mirrors, oil lamps, teapots and teacups. It means that they are married and should live a good life.

Do: Are there still many young people in Shunde who get married according to tradition?

Aunt Li: There are many rural areas and relatively few cities. It's more traditional if both sides are local, but it's hard to say if one side is from other places. Generally speaking, the social atmosphere is so open now that weddings have long been diversified.