The Significance of Silence in Psychological Counseling

The Significance of Silence in Psychological Counseling

The phenomena that often appear in the process of psychological counseling have a subtle influence on the treatment process and effect. So, how do psychological counselors deal with silence?

Silence is one of the therapeutic factors in psychological counseling. The silence of visitors can be divided into growth silence, symptom silence and strategic silence. Therapists' silence can be divided into essential silence, work silence and negative silence. Let's discuss the significance, treatment and application of silence in psychological counseling.

First of all, the meaning of silence

Silence is an important therapeutic factor. The process of treatment is expressed in psychoanalytic terms, that is, the process in which the visitor realizes the subconscious with the help of the therapist. As a tool to express the subconscious, language is more convenient and popular than symbolic methods such as painting and music. In this sense, psychotherapy is a process in which visitors constantly explore and express their subconscious with the help of therapists.

Silence is the absence or interruption of language, and it is an organic part of language phenomenon, not only that. Just like the pause in music and the flying white in Chinese painting, it is an indispensable and indispensable factor in therapeutic comparison. ? Not enough words? 、? There are more silent complaints than vocal complaints? 、? Silence is golden? Are these all negative aspects of language in daily life? The expression of the importance of silence. A lot of people's information is expressed through nonverbal forms, especially silence, which plays a very important role in psychotherapy. Language is a typical expression of consciousness, while silence is a typical expression of subconscious. Silence occurs when the subconscious mind is too large, or the consciousness is unbearable, or too dangerous, or the subconscious mind feels unsafe and the language cannot be captured. The treatment process is such a process of conscious and subconscious changes, and it is also a process of alternating language and silence. Who is silent, when is silent, how to be silent, how long is silent, why is silent, etc., all of which are important hints that language moves closer to the subconscious. Whether to interrupt or continue this silence, whether it is * * * emotion or fear, whether it is anxiety or speculation will directly affect the actual process and effect of treatment. Therefore, in this sense, on the surface, psychotherapy is a language process, but in fact, on the other hand, it is a silent process. The dialectical movement of yin and yang promoted the continuity of treatment.

Second, the performance of silence.

Since silence is an essential therapeutic factor, it will certainly be manifested in visitors and therapists. The classification and analysis of silence is the basis for us to deal with and deal with silence.

(A) the three kinds of silence of visitors

As far as visitors are concerned, we can divide silence into growth silence, symptom silence and strategic silence.

1. grow silent. This silence is necessary for visitors to grow up in treatment. When language digs and approaches the subconscious. When the subconscious is about to enter the conscious level, visitors need time to grow up. It takes time to understand emotions and time to think about problems. It takes time to express your feelings, recall the past, adjust your emotions and get out of the intense emotions. This kind of growth can sometimes be carried out at the same time as language expression, and sometimes it needs language interruption. The greater the shock of treatment, the greater the chance of growth. The more you need to stop talking. Feel and capture with your heart. In a treatment unit, if the visitor has been talking or talking happily for a long time, if the visitor has not been silent for a long time, it generally means that the work only stays at the level of consciousness. There are no questions worth pondering, no phenomena that move visitors, and no points that have been hit. The effect of treatment can be imagined. Therefore, silence is often the most important time for growth, and proper silence is the yardstick for successful treatment.

2. Symptomatic silence. This is the inevitable silence of the visitors during the treatment, because it is the manifestation of symptoms. Such as social phobia and depression. , may be one of the symptoms of silence. Secondly, some experiences, emotions and thoughts of visitors are not easy to express, or dare not express, for fear of causing resentment or criticism from therapists. Sometimes, because the therapist does not gain the full trust of the visitors, the visitors are hesitant about certain things and seem to be silent. Third, the visitor complex was hit. In a state of aphasia. Jung once used the reaction time of word association to test complexity, and thought that words with significantly longer reaction time might be complex words of visitors. Therefore, in the process of treatment, when the complex of visitors is triggered, there may be silence. For example, mothers are very kind to their children. Mother was silent for a long time when the therapist asked her about her childhood family, because she suddenly remembered the scene that her parents didn't pay attention to when she was a child.

3. Strategic silence. When the first two kinds of silence are displayed, visitors are passive and driven by subconscious, while strategic silence is active and dominated by consciousness. When visitors feel that the therapist can't solve their own problems, they will use silence to express their resistance: when the therapist's views are inconsistent or contradictory with their own. When he is not easy to express directly, he will use silence to express his refusal; When therapists show contempt or contempt for visitors' experiences and beliefs. Visitors will use silence to express their anger; When visitors rely too much on the therapist and don't trust themselves, they will show silence and hope that the therapist can take over the topic. Education: When the therapist wants the visitor to reveal the trauma prematurely out of curiosity or impatience, the visitor will deliberately respond with silence to avoid the topic, and so on.

When a visitor falls into silence, we can at least interpret it from the above three aspects to decipher the true meaning of silence. Find out the appropriate coping strategies.

(B) the therapist's three kinds of silence

The process of treatment is not only a process of language, but also a process of silence. The silence of the therapist is a very natural and necessary part of the treatment.

1. Necessary silence. This is required by the therapeutic nature. As mentioned above, treatment is a process in which visitors realize their subconscious with the help of therapists. Most of the time, it helps visitors to express themselves in words through emotions, questions and clarifications. Therapists should keep silent and provide a free, safe and inclusive space for visitors with sincerity, affection and respect. There is no room for evaluation. Let visitors express and explore themselves accurately and deeply, and try to leave time for visitors. Let visitors know themselves and heal themselves. Instead of usurping the role of the host, constantly publishing and showing off your own? Broad? Knowledge and? How are you? Insight.

2. Work is silent. As a technology. Therapists need to be quiet, because a lot of work can only be done in silence. Therapists should listen, not only let visitors vent and dig, but also collect more information, close to the hearts of visitors. Therapists who want to be affectionate must put themselves in the cognition, emotion and imagination of the visitors. Put aside your opinions and feelings for the time being. Therapists should realize. First, pay attention to the speed and level of the other person's speech, and also pay attention to the nonverbal posture, expression and eyes. Second, we should be aware of our linguistic and nonverbal characteristics, as well as our cognition and emotions in silence. Therapists should distinguish each other's empathy from their own anti-communism on the basis of perceiving visitors and themselves. You can't fall into the interpersonal mode of visitors. Therapists should also think about countermeasures, judge the progress of treatment, and reflect on their expected ways in silence.

3. Negative silence. This is inevitable for therapists. Therapists sometimes shouldn't and don't need silence. At this time, his silence may not be to treat visitors, but because he touched his own problems. For example, novice therapists are sometimes too cautious for fear of making mistakes, so they often choose silence; Novice therapists often feel that they have the same problems as visitors, or that the therapist's complex has been hit during the treatment. In a state of stunned aphasia; When visitors keep asking a difficult question. Therapists stay away; Therapists defensively adhere to the principle of neutrality or silence. Lead to excessive silence.

Thirdly, the treatment and application of silence.

As can be seen from the above. Silence is of great significance in therapy, and both visitors and therapists will show different meanings of silence. A good therapist must be able to clearly distinguish between visitors and his own silence, and take different treatment and coping measures.

Handling and applying the basic principles of silence

1. Obey essential silence and work silence, but be wary of negative silence. A very important aspect of the therapist's work is silence, that is, putting down the noise of self, throwing the learned theory out of the window, and facing the visitors themselves with silence and awe. But this silence is not idle. It's not indifference, it's watching from the other side. This is a kind of work silence. One of the main tasks is to be highly emotional. Deeply and accurately enter the physical and mental world of visitors: identify and deal with empathy and anti-empathy, and give visitors a correct emotional experience. Meanwhile. We should always be alert to our negative silence. When silence appears, the first question is whether it is your own complicated reaction. Secondly, don't be too obsessed with silence. Don't use silence as a shield for your lack of enthusiasm, sympathy and feelings. Only necessary and effective silence. Is positive. Therapists will also be silent for fear of making mistakes and taking responsibility. This kind of silence often happens to novice therapists, which is also worthy of attention.

2. Respect growth silence, use symptomatic silence, but be wary of strategic silence. When the visitor is silent, the therapist may be nervous and flustered. At this time, we must first recognize what kind of silence this is. You know, silence is a normal and necessary phenomenon in treatment. We should not panic about the increasing silence and give tourists enough time. We can give a high degree of affection. This is the right time to use the therapist's essential silence. Symptomatic silence We can't be too silent, because it will make visitors start to doubt, guess and even feel hurt. We should raise some open topics. Or make the topic of visitors deeper, and show more enthusiasm and sincerity. Keep silent about strategy. We should not mistake it for growth silence or symptom silence. Therefore, methods such as silence or induction should be adopted. We should not avoid the question, but directly ask the visitors about the treatment process and the therapist's opinion. You can also reflect on your own intervention and adjust it in time. If strategic silence is handled well, it can often enhance the sincere communication between therapists and visitors, and make treatment appear? Another village? New situation.

(B) the special technology of silence

When visitors are silent, there are some special techniques besides the general ones. If used properly, they can exert a powerful therapeutic effect.

1. Inclusion dual technology.

This is a technique in psychological drama. Especially in spiral psychological drama. Some foreign therapists apply it to individual treatment. It has also received good results. The author sometimes uses it to deal with the silence of visitors in practice, and the effect is good. The method is briefly introduced as follows: when the visitor is silent and it is really difficult for the visitor to express his inner feelings, or because of the need of treatment, the therapist wants to guide the silent visitor to a certain level of the mind, so this technique can be used. You can introduce this skill to the visitor first, and then, after you get permission, sit down at a distance he thinks fit and tell him that the therapist is now his body body double. Then. Based on a high degree of affection, observe and imitate his body and language, play his body body double, and express what he doesn't want to say, dare not say or can't say with silence, such as? I feel very disgusted with my father now. But I'm a little scared. I'm afraid people will say I'm unfilial. ? Or guide him to pay attention to a certain level of mind: I feel angry. Why am I angry? Let me think about it. ? In addition, we can also guide the silent visitors to get rid of the previous trauma in the present: I tell myself. It's all over. I opened my eyes and looked forward. I know where I am now. I keep my feet on the ground and breathe more and more naturally. ? Wait a minute. Or if the tourists don't agree with what body double said, they can raise objections or make corrections.

2. Process evaluation technology.

Process evaluation technology is an intervention method that focuses on discussing the interpersonal interaction between therapists and visitors here and now. Others call it intuitive communication, immediate intervention, interpersonal feedback and so on. This technology can be used to deal with the silence of tourists. For example:? Therapist:? Since I asked you last week about canceling the appointment and being late today. You stopped talking. Do you feel a little sick? Can we talk? Some novice therapists generally dare not do this. One reason is that it does not conform to society.

Custom, especially in the cultural background of China: On the other hand. More importantly, therapists worry that the silence of visitors is due to their dissatisfaction and complaints. In fact, as mentioned above, there are many reasons why tourists are silent. By discussing silence directly. We can understand the psychological meaning behind silence more directly. So as to deepen the understanding of treatment. When applying process assessment technology, we should use a kind and respectful way. It is best to make the process evaluation an invitation. Invite visitors to come together and have sincere understanding and frank communication, so that they will no longer feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, and thus go deeper into their silent hearts.

3. Inner silence.

This silence is not without language, but when you speak, you remain silent inside. ? Is it extraordinary that Tao can be Tao? The external language is something that can be said, while the internal language keeps one? Can't help it? . That is, no matter how the language is expressed, the heart is still as still as dust and water. Judging from the current data, it is a famous Japanese psychoanalyst who consciously applies this inner silence to psychotherapy. He believes that everything in the universe and people have no fixed nature of their own. Therefore, man and everything, man and man are fundamentally one, which transcends language. Therefore, in the treatment, the therapist should keep this silent nature. Hehe, point out: The center is quiet? The Tao is there, and outside the Tao is our language. ? In other words, when we are talking and thinking, our hearts are still and silent. Just like Eckhardt said about the door shaft. This silence can sweep away the burden and depression of the therapist. When you have the attitude I described, you usually become more open. You can let go and express all your feelings: sadness, anger, happiness or sadness. ? This silence without me allows us to. Self? Put it down more thoroughly. Play better? Visitor-centered? The principle of treatment goes deeper into the hearts of visitors and achieves deeper love and respect, in another sense. Or on the basis of no self? Self? Show it more truly, so as to establish a more sincere and direct relationship with visitors. Of course, the application of this silent technology requires profound cultivation and oriental culture. This just shows the unique angle and depth of China traditional culture in dealing with the problem of silence in psychotherapy. It should be the direction of conscious psychologists to deeply study the traditional culture of China and develop the treatment technology and art with China characteristics.

Psychological counselors' handling and application of silence in consultation will promote the further development of consultation, so it is also important for counselors to learn to detect the silence of visitors in consultation.

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