Bad old customs

Bad old customs, customs are habits. In the old society, there were many taboos between urban and rural residents, which were manifested in all aspects of people's behavior. Among them, we also have a lot of places to retain a bad old custom handed down from the past.

Bad old customs It is natural for women to do housework.

Relatives A and B said: You have two daughters-in-law who have gone home for the New Year. Of course, you should have dinner at your home. Someone is working! )

... daughter-in-law is not your nanny.

Look at your messy house. You just got married.

... you're a mess, and you expect your wife to clean up your so-called mess

So-and-so's son is really a loser. He does everything at home.

... people are willing, and they are macho and attack others. Even people who bind their feet feel ugly without binding their feet.

2. Marriage brings more benefits to women.

My grandfather called me more frequently last year because your cousin was married and belonged to someone else's house. Your grandmother and I are paying attention to you now. )

... so you want me to be someone else's family soon?

My uncle often goes to his parents-in-law's house for the New Year, and my grandparents are criticized for raising their sons for nothing.

... and those who attack them often have their own daughters and sons-in-law, and they also want to spend the New Year with their daughters, but they regard their daughters coming back for the New Year as unfilial.

3. Giving birth to children brings more intangible losses to women, but it is a matter of course.

An uncle was criticized by his relatives and friends for taking care of his newborn as much as his wife, such as changing diapers, nursing, putting the child to bed and nursing at night.

... in the case that parents attach equal importance to their children, the father has been considered excessive and the mother is considered incompetent.

Women often have to sacrifice more after giving birth, such as simply giving up their careers and staying at home as full-time housewives, because no one takes care of them.

... my husband feels tired at work and doesn't want to take care of the children when he goes home. A wife who cooks, cleans and takes care of children is often much more tired than work, but she is regarded as doing nothing at home.

4. Abnormal concept of marriage and love

My grandfather: You get married early. Your grandmother and I both think that our task will be completed as soon as possible.

... traditional parents always think that children's marriage is one of their political achievements, as if children get married and have children early, and there seems to be light on their faces. In fact, in the modern society where most people advocate free love, it is understandable that the elders are worried about me because they love me, but when and with whom the children get married has nothing to do with you.

5. The offspring prefer sons to daughters.

My father is very filial and takes me to the grave every year. Last time, a grandparent told me that girls were not qualified to go to the grave. And he didn't go as often as I did, and even grandma's tombstone couldn't be found)

I thought it was a bad habit to burn paper at the grave, but in order to pay homage to my elders, express my thoughts and remind myself of my feelings and filial piety, I would like to accompany my father to the grave.

6. Wine table culture

(Every year when I go home for the New Year, my relatives and friends will have dinner like this. Every time I don't drink to death, I swear I won't give up. If the other person refuses to drink more, I feel that I look down on myself, and my children feel distressed when they drink too much. )

... every spring festival, I will propose a toast to my relatives and friends. I should have a drink with them, which is reasonable. I have a stomachache this year, but my elders still insist on drinking. I said, if I drink this cup today, I will vomit for half a night and stay in bed for two days. If you insist, I will drink it. He left it there.

Actually, this is a test, and I have made up my mind never to drink it. If this relative still lets me drink, then I don't need to respect him.

7. If you don't know filial piety, ask for it.

Grandpa's younger brothers, also called grandfathers, are hardly helpful to me and even my father's growth, but it is unfilial and forgetful to ask us to visit them during the Chinese New Year holiday. )

... I respected them according to my father's teaching since I was a child, but I gradually discovered that many of the so-called relatives are people with different understandings but forcibly tied together by blood. I respect them and love them, but I have to put up with their casual jokes, pointing, criticizing and criticizing.

... you thought I was unfilial, so you didn't help me at all. Just because you are related to me, why should I be filial to you? As the saying goes, a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor, and you are not as good as my friend. What obligation do I have to be filial to you?

8. The pressure of high bride price on men.

The son thinks it is their duty for parents to pay for their wives, so he would rather spend half of his parents' savings to get married and have children. The woman's parents or themselves think that they have lost a lot in the marriage relationship, trying to recover the so-called loss from money)

... I think the bride price is a matter of values How much money is related to personal choice, as long as both parents agree, but they are very opposed to the sky-high bride price that is several times higher than the actual living standard but for the sake of face or social influence.

(Before, my friend told me that her brother had a girlfriend, and they met each other on a blind date, and they both felt very satisfied. They are all ready to get married. The bride's family requires a bride price of 88W, and it is only for parents, because the woman's family condition is not good, and parents want to improve their living conditions. The man refused and they were all ready to get married. As a result, they broke up and broke up. )

... so I think men are more vulnerable in this respect. For example, I discussed with my classmates that if a girl says I have no money, I don't want you to buy me a house when I get married. Everyone will pay tribute: what an unconventional good girl! ! ! If a boy says, I have no money, but I don't want you to buy me a house when I get married. Everyone said: Do you still want a house? Well, it's good for you.

... I think marriage is equal. Two people form a new family together, and each has some contributions and some gains. It shows that women feel that they are in a weak position from the beginning, and it is their choice to face all kinds of unfair treatment later. You don't respect yourself, let alone be respected.

9. Metaphorical jokes related to sex

My aunt likes children, and he likes both boys and girls. He can't stop hugging and kissing. I am about seven or eight years old, and he likes to hug us often. My cousin is two years older than me and has a similar experience. He meets boys and babies in open-backed pants and likes to fiddle with other people's private parts. Children sometimes cry, which makes me feel bad.

... I think this custom is vulgar and has no meaning except embarrassment. It is often a sign of lack of education and uncivilized hobbies. Although it is difficult to put an end to it in the short term, the attitude of opposition should be clear, especially nowadays, young people can organize their own weddings and protect their children from the so-called "love" of their elders, which is actually harassment. Say no bravely in the face of bad customs.

10, the argument that "you are weak and you are right"

My friend's parents don't have a good relationship with grandparents, because my friend's family is rich, but her uncle and grandfather are poor, so grandparents are always asking for money from home to support other children. )

In fact, there is no problem with filial piety to parents, but there is no clear obligation of raising or supporting between brothers and sisters. My friend's grandparents, as elders, want their children to live well, but others. Children's money is not blown by the wind, and it is impossible to live in harmony with the world. We are all adults, and we should be responsible for our own lives long ago. We also expect our parents' children to be giant babies even if they are 40 years old.

1 1, hiding that women are stronger than men.

Men and women do have psychological and physical differences due to gender, but it does not mean what all men should look like, and what all women should look like. Individual differences exist. Before I became a woman, I was alone first. You thought I was a girl and bought me dolls since I was a child. But why can't I ask if I like cars first?

12, ignoring adolescent sex education and thinking it is protection.

Many parents neglect their children's sex education, which encourages many cases of sexual assault. In fact, the younger the child, the more he can learn about sex through official channels, the more natural, the more calm, the less undisguised, and the more scientific he looks at it. Parents and schools should be afraid of teaching bad children, but in this era of developed internet, children can get abnormal cognition of sex from various bad channels, sex education courses are withdrawn, and abortion advertisements are flying all over the sky; The cinema grading system has never been implemented, but small pieces have been circulated everywhere; Today, there are still many adults who don't know that virgins have nothing to do with fetal membranes, many boys don't know what menstruation is about, and many women are ashamed to face their sexual desire directly.

Purity is never equal to ignorance, and innocence can never be linked to ignorance. Parents are ashamed to speak, but they bring some mysterious colors to their children. The incidence of child abuse cases is increasing year by year, and the psychological shadow may accompany many children all their lives. Adolescent girls don't know how to protect themselves, and they may lose the right to be mothers for life on impulse. There is nothing wrong with knowing our body and protecting it.

Bad old customs 2 those old customs that people don't like.

Scoop up ashes

In some places, the details are not mentioned, and the wedding is broadcast live, which is a mess. I really can't think of elegant words to describe such a vulgar wedding. At this time, if the bride doesn't want to, she will be accused of being ignorant.

Persuade sb. to drink more (at the party)

My father is allergic to alcohol, and when he drinks, he will get a rash on his face, which is very scary. But at the dinner table, the elders advised the wine. My dad said you can't drink alcohol because you are allergic to alcohol. Drinking it will ruin your face. As a result, the man immediately pulled his face down and said that he would not give him face if he didn't drink it. What a bad face. It will be all right in a few days. I'm furious to hear it next to you. What will be fine in a few days? Okay？ Okay？ Ha ha. It's rotten, not your face, so don't feel bad. I can't take it anymore. I stood up and said that my father was allergic to a mouthful of wine last year and was hospitalized for three or four days. I can't drink. As a result, the man glared at me with a wine tray, saying that children have a bad mouth, and then poured a glass of wine for my dad with an uncle next to my dad. After pouring, I patted my dad on the shoulder and said, isn't this okay?

Prefer boys to girls.

The water spilled by the married daughter feels like selling her daughter, which is different from her own home. I also said that it would bring bad luck to go back to my mother's house in 2008.

(of friends and relatives) tease the newlyweds on the wedding night

The more backward the place is, the more enthusiastic it is about this vulgar behavior. I have attended several cousins' weddings and have no intention of watching the last one. From the simplest way of throwing coins at the bride's chest for the groom to find out with his mouth, to the link of the bride eating bananas, all links are full of hints. As a bride, when her parents come home at night, it is cruel to be alone in a strange environment, watched by a group of people, doing all kinds of vulgar things and smiling at them. Moreover, many of them have video photos, and this bullied image has to be recorded in various ways, which is undoubtedly worse.

Bad old custom 3 Why can't old bowls be thrown away? Those folk taboos about bowls

1, old bowls cannot be thrown away.

In folk customs, even if the bowl is used, it can't be thrown away, because it represents our work, and throwing away our "rice bowl" means that everything has been bad for you this year. Old bowls are usually wrapped in red cloth and put at home. Don't throw them away.

2. Stealing bowls at funerals

In many rural areas, old people at home will hold "weddings and funerals" when they die at a very old age. The bowls used for weddings and funerals are said to be "longevity", so some people steal bowls to live longer. Funeral bowls are also used to ward off evil spirits.

3, the bowl is broken, not only broken but also safe.

Many people know that if the bowl for eating at home is accidentally broken, they will say "broken, safe" and then throw away the broken bowl. In fact, the correct way to throw a bowl should be to wrap it in red cloth or paper before throwing it.

4. Don't knock on the bowl while eating.

If you have children at home, you will often meet them. Children like to knock with chopsticks when eating, and stop it in time when they see it. Because it is a beggar's practice to knock on the bowl while eating, which has a bad meaning.

5, white off the bowl

In many customs and traditions, people throw bowls at white things, and some people throw filial piety pots, which means throwing bad luck out. Secondly, they send paper money to hell and smash white things with bowls for good luck.

Learn more about these folk taboos about bowls. Pay attention to the vulgar things in the lunar calendar and learn a little knowledge of traditional culture every day.