What is early love

Early love, also called adolescent love, refers to underage men and women to establish a romantic relationship or interest in the opposite sex, infatuation or crush. In China, the term "early love" with the elders on the side of the negative emotional color, generally refers to the love between young people under 18 years of age, especially in the school of primary and secondary school students for more. Twenty years of research in China has shown that very few people in middle school have never had a relationship. And most of them have a crush or unrequited love (monogamy). Only when there is mutual affection can it develop into early love. The behavior of early love is the adolescents on the basis of sexual physiological development, but also the practice of psychological transformation into behavior.

Some parents are anxious to know what to do as soon as they hear that their children like so-and-so. Early love, as the name suggests, is premature love. What does it mean to fall in love? Is it a crush? No, it's someone who has had the act of confessing (love letters, direct confessions, and the like). Strictly speaking, it's a man and a woman who both confess to each other in order to be called in love. If there's no confession, you can't call it a relationship, and if you can't call it a relationship, you can't call it early love. A "crush" is just an admiration for someone of the opposite sex, not much of a true love affair. Parents can rest assured that the feelings accumulated in a "crush" will not be too heavy, and most of them will not interfere with studies. If someone uses the word "love" in "crush" to refute me, I would like to tell you that the word "whale" also has the word "fish" in it, but it is a whale with the word "fish" in it. I would like to tell you that "whale" also has the word "fish" in it, but it is a mammal. Only the act of confession (love letter, direct confession, etc.) can be considered a relationship, and only after it is considered a relationship can you judge whether or not you are in love based on your age.

By the various circumstances of early love, early love usually has the following four characteristics: hazy adolescents for the development of early love of the end is not clear, the early love of adolescents just want to be alone with the opposite sex contact, and the future of the formation of the family, to deal with the relationship between the relationship between love and school, and the distinction between friendship and love and so on lack of a clear understanding of the problem. Contradictory The teenagers who fall in love at an early age are full of contradictions in their hearts. They want to have contact with the opposite sex they like, but they are also afraid of being found out by their parents. It can be said that the process of early love is both pleasant and painful. For those who have a crush, this ambivalence is also manifested in the contradiction of whether to declare love to the admirer (confession). Mutability Friendships are full of change and highly unstable because adolescents often lack the skills and experience to deal with interpersonal relationships, resulting in a lack of mutual trust between the two parties; relationships are generally not sustainable. As a result, relationships are often difficult to maintain and often cause psychological distress to both partners. Differences There are obvious differences in the behavior of adolescents in early love. In terms of behavior, they are extremely secretive, communicating their feelings through letters, phone calls or the Internet, and engaging in secret private communication and emotional exchanges that are difficult for parents and teachers to detect, but there are also teenagers who are open about their relationships, appearing in pairs on many occasions. In terms of degree, most of the early lovers still mainly exchange their feelings or play together; in terms of interpersonal relationships, they generally do not go beyond normal friendships, but some of them develop very deep relationships, and in addition to exchanging their feelings, they sometimes even have sexual relationships. In terms of age preference, girls usually prefer boys who are older and more mature than themselves, while boys usually prefer girls who are younger than themselves and reflect their masculinity in their relationships. Some psychologists believe that girls take the initiative when their ages are equal, but in practice it is more often the boy who takes the initiative. This is not yet conclusive.

The types of early love can be summarized as the following eight types: 1. Adoration This type of adolescents is due to mutual adoration of each other and the phenomenon of early love. This type of early love is very common, and according to the different reasons for adoration, can be divided into the following three categories: (1) instrumentation This type of early love is due to the adoration of each other's external instrumentation, is also the most common, but the most difficult to sustain and stabilize. There are always handsome boys and pretty girls in school who are highly admired by the opposite sex, which contains this factor. (2) Specialty type This is due to the love of the other side of a certain ability or specialty that they admire and produce early love. This type of early love is often the girl to take the initiative. (3) Character This type of early love is due to the love of the other side of some of their own respected character, which in comparison with the maintenance of a longer period of time. 2. Curiosity This is the phenomenon of early love due to curiosity about the opposite sex. Sexual awareness of the continuous development of adolescents will produce the opposite sex of the body, life, psychology and their own attitude of curiosity, which is a psychological phenomenon of adolescents. Adolescents are prone to sexual impulses and thus maintain a sensitive attitude towards the opposite sex and make friends of the opposite sex in order to satisfy this curiosity. 3. Imitation This is the phenomenon of early love due to the imitation of the behavior in the society, film and television works and newspapers and books. 4. Herd type This is the phenomenon of early love due to the pressure of the surrounding peers. For example, a relationship that does not exist may be fabricated by people around them, i.e., "rumor" or "gossip". In such an environment, forced by the pressure of public opinion, it is easy to have a love for them. 5. Pleasure type Adolescent men and women as classmates or even the same table, due to more communication and information transfer, will produce a more detailed and thorough understanding of each other, in this situation is easy to produce early love. This is also an important reason for "classmate love" or even "table love". 6. Compensation type Some teenagers due to setbacks in their studies, is their self-esteem has been damaged, in order to achieve the purpose of venting, often looking for the opposite sex, in which to forget the pain, in order to seek compensation. This kind of early love into the real feelings, easy to develop and deepen. 7. Reverse type Due to the factors of social consciousness and public opinion, adolescents' gender interactions are often subject to inappropriate interventions by parents and teachers, which can easily induce the psychology of "you don't allow me to do this, but I have to do this". Under the action of this kind of reverse psychology, the normal and appropriate heterosexual relationship may rapidly develop into early love. 8. Pathological type In contemporary society, the nutritional conditions are superior, easy to cause the over-nutrition and food contained in the role of sex hormones or a variety of special physiological diseases, family heredity and other factors, easy to cause adolescents early psychological maturity, and even sexual perversion of the mind. This is the main objective factor that induces adolescents to fall in love early. The various types mentioned above are also commonly found in adults' love affairs, especially those who fall in love for the first time, and of course, those who have never experienced early love. Moreover, because adults are more powerful and have more knowledge, so the same consequences of some of the nature of the worse than the children who fall in love early.

Edited for other regions and times

In Western society, it is considered normal for teenagers to fall in love, kiss and hug. (Not to mention that Western society is more open, and hugging between friends of the opposite sex is perfectly acceptable.) As long as there is no sexual activity or teenage pregnancy, even the more conservative religious families do not restrict high school students over the age of 16 from falling in love. In recent years, although some religious figures have raised objections to unmarried sex, they are only advocating a campaign of pre-marital chastity, not a ban on teenage love. In fact, the term "early love" does not exist in the West, perhaps because the Western teaching system is more relaxed, and most Westerners do not understand the restrictions on relationships in Chinese schools. In the old Chinese society, most marriages were arranged by parents, and although there were a large number of young son-in-laws and young couples, they could only be called early marriages and early childbearing. As for falling in love, it is not allowed regardless of age, and not only early love is considered bad.

Because of early love is difficult to get the family, school and social acceptance, there is a lot of pressure and contradiction in all aspects, thus making early love distraction, making their own aspirations and goals change, this change is mostly a negative impact on people, the human temperament, character, outlook on life, the formation of the world outlook is harmful and not beneficial. It can be seen that the main reason for the harm caused by early love is not because of early love itself, but from the early love of people subjected to a variety of pressures. The following are some educators summarized some of the harm: Harm physical and mental health Physical: Because many early lovers are not emotionally stable, impulsive, easy to move emotions, poor self-control, often produce a variety of bad emotions affecting physical health. This will lead to a series of physical discomfort, over time, there may be digestive disorders, hypoglycemia and other symptoms. Psychologically: for early lovers, early love is a process full of both joy and bitterness. Because of the love for each other, early lovers often because of each other's harsh requirements and cause emotional changes; also because of early love and was parents, classmates, teachers, pressure, resulting in psychological imbalance; when not able to meet with lovers, early lovers are often fidgety and indulged in fantasy, begging for solace in the fantasy. If this psychological development is too deep, a small number of people will not be able to restrain their own emotions and have sex with the opposite sex, which will cause serious psychological distortion of early love. Interference with learning Because of the poor self-control ability of adolescents, they are often unmotivated to study, and it is very common for their grades to drop. This is the most important reason for early love opponents to oppose early love. Every thing, the effect is different in each person, what is good for others may not be good for you, the same with early love. It depends on how you deal with the matter Easy to contribute to transgressive behavior Many psychologists believe that: teenagers are dominated by passion, impulsive, poor self-control. Many psychologists believe that adolescents are impulsive and have little self-control. Therefore, many young boys and girls in love cannot control their feelings and have premature sexual relations. This is the most serious damage caused by early love to both physical and mental. May lead to crime Early love is generally young and vigorous, very sensitive to some events. Especially boys in front of their girlfriends, the face of some of their own "jealous" behavior anger, some people hit, resulting in crime. Another situation, due to the lack of parental support, the love of money spending can not be obtained, induced by the idea of stealing and robbery. This is the most serious harm of early love to society.