Coaching Tools Empathic Listening: How do you talk to your child when it's thundering?

The first two days of the Positive Empowerment Salon went on until 9:30pm.

At the end of the class, it was pouring rain outside, accompanied by bursts of thunder. My classmates and I stood in the doorway, waiting for the downpour to stop. I was busy answering questions from my classmates.

At this time a classmate asked me:

My daughter is 8 years old and is now alone at home. Now it is raining and thundering and she is scared, what should I do?

I asked: what did you do?

Classmate: I told her, " It's okay to thunder, don't be afraid. Mom will be right back. "

I asked: If you were to communicate with her in a different way, the way we coach, you experience it. Suppose you say: " Baby, now it's thundering, you're a little scared, right? You want your mommy to come home early, don't you? Mommy is worried about you too. " What difference would that make?

Classmate: it would feel more comfortable and it would make her feel respected. I know.

The classmate was seen immediately pulling out her cell phone and calling her daughter once more.

When she came back, I felt that she was a little excited, and she told me, " KEN, the call just ended, and my daughter said 'Mom, I love you!' Truly a magical conversation. "

The habitual nature of our conversations with others is to take our own perspective. When a child cries, we say, "What's there to cry about?"

And as a coach, we see the other person as a whole person, even if she is a child.

If we see them as human beings, we believe that the other person is afraid; if we see them as human beings, we understand that they make mistakes; if we see them as human beings, we see that they've made the best choices they can under the circumstances.

When her fear, sadness, frustration, etc. hits, if we turn on the reasoning mode, the other person will close the door of trust. Even the best reasoning won't go anywhere.

What the coach does is simply an empathetic listening, hearing what the person is feeling inside, hearing what the person desires inside, and providing a space of trust and love.

Then trust opens up and magic happens.