What are the wedding customs in China?

First, make a glass of wine and then get married.

The word "marriage" is strange to modern people. However, the "toast" between the bride and groom is very familiar to everyone who has been married or attended the wedding. "Marriage" refers to the newlyweds drinking acacia wine in the bridal chamber. It means floating. Cut a melon into two spoonfuls, and the bride and groom each take a spoonful to drink. It's called marriage. Marriage began in the Zhou Dynasty, and has been used in later generations, but it is a bitter and inedible thing. Filling wine must be bitter wine. Therefore, the drinking of husband and wife not only symbolizes that husband and wife are a family and grow old together, but also contains the profound meaning of letting the bride and groom share joys and sorrows. As the Book of Rites said, "So, we should unite, respect each other and kiss each other."

After the Song Dynasty, the ceremony of tying the knot evolved into a toast for the newlyweds. "Tokyo Dream Record Marries a Woman" records: The couple "tied together with two colored knots, drank one and called a cup. After drinking, throw a lamp and put it under the bed. When the lights are turned up and turned off, everyone will celebrate and then cover the bill. " The symbolic meaning of this ceremony is meaningful.

Connect two wine glasses with colored silk or colored paper. Men and women change their names and have a drink each, which symbolizes that husband and wife will become one from now on. Of course, in many cases, "only the bride is shy and refuses to get her hands on it." (Republic of China: Xie County Records)

After drinking, throw the glass under the bed to see if it is harmonious. If the glass just closes obliquely, it symbolizes that men are inclined downward and women are inclined upward, and their sex life is good and unstoppable. This harmonious thing of Yin and Yang is obviously a good thing. During the period of the Republic of China, Shanxi people got married and worshipped the heavens and the earth. "They were introduced into the bridal chamber, and their husbands were advanced. The bride stepped on the four corners of the bed, sat in the back corner of the bed and drank a glass of wine. This was the day of' marriage'. After marriage, there are still ceremonies such as worshipping ancestors and seeing brave aunts, probably the day after the wedding. " (Republic of China: Fushan County Records)

Today, a glass of wine is essential for the wedding of young people in rural Shanxi, but the form is much simpler than that in ancient times. After men and women pour their own wine, they hook their arms and look at each other, and drink it off in warm and happy laughter, or in the bridal chamber, or in the hall, restaurant and restaurant where the wedding is held. According to folk tradition, drinking a glass of wine is held in the bridal chamber, so people always associate marriage with the bridal chamber. However, no matter how different the expression of this custom is, its meaning and mentality are the same, and the eternal and inseparable hint will have an impact on the long-term marriage life of newlyweds in the future.

When people hold a wedding in a remote mountain village, no matter how hard the life of ordinary people is, we can see people's loyalty to love and yearning for a better life through the laughter filled with a glass of wine.

According to the wedding custom, after drinking a glass of wine, a wedding ceremony is usually held. In ancient times, this knot was called a bun, which was made of the hair of newly married men and women. The newlyweds sit on the bed together, male left and female right. But this kind of gift is limited to the first marriage of the couple, and it is not necessary for those who remarry. People often say that married couples, that is, original couples, concubines and second wives, can't be regarded as married couples.

In ancient marriage customs, knot has a very solemn meaning. Later, this custom gradually disappeared, but the term knot hair still exists. Married couples are respected by people, and married couples symbolize the beautiful meaning of never being separated. Just like drinking a glass of wine, they are still fully affirmed and praised by most people in rural areas.

In the era when men can marry concubines and raise concubines, married women are particularly prominent. As a result, whether it is a new literati in Tian Shelang or a merchant landlord who has made a fortune, he should generally maintain a certain respect for married couples when climbing wealth, looking for flowers and finding concubines.

Psychologically and emotionally, China people have been married for thousands of years, especially since ancient times.

Because knot means "the first time". When men and women don't give and take, and people are close to the opposite sex, marriage means accepting the novelty of the opposite sex for the first time, showing a knowing smile for the first time, tasting the happiness of love for the first time, and forming their own family for the first time. So, in any case, this first time is precious and worth cherishing.

Besides. There are also profound meanings such as solemnity, sacredness, providence and fate, which are recognized by the society. On this basis, both parties to the marriage have a sense of obligation and responsibility.

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Second, the secret of the bridal chamber

The bridal chamber is the last procedure of the wedding, and it is also an indispensable part of any wedding. It is the climax of the wedding and the most lively and interesting program.

On the wedding night, relatives and friends sit around the room and joke with the bride in various ways, which is called "disturbing the room". There are various ways to "pretend to be the bride", and there are similarities and differences in different places. To sum up, it can be divided into two kinds: literature and martial arts. Wennao often uses a more elegant way to let the bride tell riddles and couplets, let her tell her love experiences, and tell things about men and women who usually don't see each other. In Shanxi, the folk call it "Tell your son", which is full of fun, forcing the bride to make a fool of herself because she can't answer. "In the evening, busybodies are mostly composed of harmonic language, forcing the bride to sing it, which is called' noisy room'. It has intensified recently, and the celebration is still a joke, which is very rude. " (Republic of China: Yicheng County Records) Fighting is a rude way, not only swearing, but also touching the bride, which is quite practical.

When making trouble in the bridal chamber, peers, younger generations, relatives and friends, classmates and colleagues all crowded into the bridal chamber and laughed and played, especially the groom's friends. They tried every means to make fun of the bride by performing in public. As the saying goes, "three days doesn't matter", except for parents. During this period, the casual relationship between people is allowed by etiquette and customs, and many taboos have been lifted, much like the carnival in western culture. Therefore, no matter how ridiculous and unacceptable, the bride must never turn her face. If the person who makes trouble in the bridal chamber is angry, it will be considered as the bride's willfulness, bad popularity and no better future.

Making trouble in the bridal chamber is a way to congratulate the newlyweds. In folk customs, people think that foxes are always in the bridal chamber and ghosts worship them. In order to drive away the evil spirits and strengthen the yang of human potential, they made trouble in the bridal chamber, so there is a folk saying that "people are not haunted."

Having a noisy room is also a functional test for newlyweds, including wit and patience. Originally, it was a "gateway test", but it often went too far among the people and became a vulgar custom.

The custom of disturbing the bridal chamber has a long history. Hanshu records that "on the wedding night, there is no difference between men and women, only pride." (Hanshu Geography) The custom of disturbing the room may have originated from the "listening room". On the wedding night, relatives and friends eavesdrop on the words and deeds of the new wife outside the bridal chamber window. People are only interested in the relationship between men and women. From the perspective of sexual psychology, this kind of behavior seems to be "psychosexuality" in Freud's theory. Later it gradually evolved into a bridal chamber to tease the bride. This custom became popular in the Tang Dynasty. Not only the relatives of the man, but also the guests and friends have the right to tease the bride. Even an irrelevant stranger can stop, criticize, tease and tease. This custom has changed from individual behavior to collective behavior since ancient times.

Looking at the custom of disturbing the bridal chamber, the psychological motivation that drives people to listen to disturbing the bridal chamber is complicated.

First of all, this is an externalization and subconscious impulse of human sexual consciousness. People show some teasing to the opposite sex from playing with women and caressing women. After venting, they can overcome the psychology of envy and jealousy, so as to achieve a certain gender balance in the boundary of "subconscious". This attitude and behavior towards the opposite sex is strictly restricted at ordinary times, and making love in the bridal chamber just provides an opportunity.

Secondly, the bridal chamber is the product of arranged marriage in traditional marriage. Because only after the wedding ceremony can the excited groom open the bride's red scarf. The husband and wife have never met, have no intersection, and have no emotional communication. It is obviously strange and embarrassing to fall in love at the first meeting. Therefore, the custom of having a bridal chamber can eliminate each other's distance and strangeness, coordinate each other's tension and harmonious feelings. There is no doubt that the trouble of the bridal chamber is a necessary preparation before the 100-meter race.

Furthermore, under the prosperous psychological trend, most newly-married families have the dual psychology of not only bearing the troubles of relatives and friends, but also being willing to let them make trouble.

Noisy rooms can familiarize relatives and friends of both sides, show that the family is full of guests and prosperous people, enhance communication and feelings between relatives and friends, and promote harmony between neighbors.

Liveliness is the aesthetic ideal of China people's life, and disturbing the bridal chamber is the means to achieve this goal. Only when people are busy can an atmosphere of happiness and celebration be formed. Noisy is a scene of joy and a symbol of exultation and prosperity. Only when people are noisy, there will be a market for celebrations, extensive wealth and a prosperous population.

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Third, the bridal chamber tests virginity

In China, sexual behavior is highly restricted by customs. People not only show great interest in open and legal sexual relations, but also try to penetrate into every gap in our lives.

In The Book of Songs, we can tell many stories about women eloping with their lovers. At least in the era of Confucius, in the upper class of society, the confusion of the relationship between men and women is somewhat like the decadent Roman era. At that time, divorce was easy and remarriage was not difficult. The chastity of girls is not a special concern.

However, with the rise of Confucianism, especially after the spread of Neo-Confucianism in the Song Dynasty, women are regarded as the bearers of social morality. Neo-Confucianism forces women to live in a closed world. Widows' remarriage is a moral sin, and women's chastity is highly valued.

Since then, China people's worship of female chastity has become a psychological obsession. A bad example of this obsession is the so-called "bridal chamber virginity test". This custom turned the bride's chastity into a naked chastity test, which was verified on the spot and witnessed by everyone. Sadly, the groom doesn't think it's an insult to his feelings, nor does the bride think it's an insult to his personality. Customs distort people's minds.

The custom of testing virginity in bridal chamber is called "testing red" and "giving towels" among the people, which has existed since ancient times. Generally speaking, on the wedding day, the mother of the bride will give her daughter or son-in-law a white handkerchief, which is considered to be used when having sex for the first time. It is also called "Sipa" among the people.

In the past, a towel was sent to every wedding. In some places, such as Guangdong, after the bride and groom send towels, they close the door and have sex, and the groom's parents and relatives are waiting outside the door. After the romance, the groom held a bamboo dish in his hand and covered it with a red handkerchief, indicating that the bride was a virgin and a new red. Everyone was very happy, congratulated them and sent them to their parents' house with a roast pig. Before that, the family had been worried that the bride would not see her maiden red.

Because whether the hymen is broken has become the only criterion for testing virgins, once it is not red, the groom and his family will blame the bride's infidelity, at least psychologically, there will be great suspicion and discord, forming a diaphragm. Light makes the bride speechless, humiliated for life, and has no position in front of her husband's family. In serious cases, the matchmaker will send the woman home.

Paying attention to virgin red is a common concept in China society. The observant literati gave it a romantic atmosphere.

Wang Shifu's The West Chamber describes the tryst between Zhang Sheng and Cui Yingying, with special reference to the incense towel. He wrote:

"(backyard flower) Spring is white. I saw the red fragrance and tender color early. My eyes are low under the lamp, my chest is full of meat, and I am very curious. I don't know where spring comes from. "

Tang Xianzu, a playwright, said in the colorful dialogue in Handan Ji: "A good couple went into the bridal chamber to have flowers and candles, and ... the river invaded the guests, robbed them fiercely, and the weaver girl had no place to marry." Do not hang up. I am glad that Tan Lang's eyes are red, and the beautiful woman laughs and blows silver wax. Sleep with the blue window tonight and see Shannon clearly. "

Tao's "Record of Dropping Out of Farming" records that a man did not see her maiden red after marrying the bride, and Yuan Keqian, a scholar, gave a poem like a dream. "Tonight's banquet is full, it must be fragrant. Spring has passed, ask if it is very red and shallow, and I will give you a white silk if I don't see it. "

Today, in rural areas of Shanxi, the custom of trying red is rare. However, in some places, in the morning after their wedding, they often put red and white towels in their bright eyes outside their new houses to show outsiders that the bride is a virgin.

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Fourth, wedding customs.

In ancient times, there were six complete wedding customs: receiving gifts, asking names, Naji, receiving gifts, inviting guests and welcoming relatives. However, since the Ming and Qing Dynasties, the complete six rites in Shanxi have ceased to exist. As recorded in a large number of local chronicles, "weddings vary from place to place. Among the six gifts, there are only four left: asking the name, receiving the gift, inviting guests, welcoming and not kissing. " (Qianlong: "Pingyang Fu Zhi")

After liberation, the old and new wedding forms alternated, and the new wedding forms gradually replaced the old ones. During the Republic of China, new, more civilized and modern wedding forms were implemented in all parts of Shanxi. As a new wedding custom, we will introduce it in detail as follows:

"Marriage certificate, still use the Khmer Rouge, but the wedding ceremony, witnesses, references, the groom and the bride, all signed. The wedding was held in front of the court and music was played. The host stood facing the north, announced the "male and female guest seats" and stood in the north. Men and women can marry anyone, but stand in the south. All men and women are sitting, while things are standing. Get married, introduce people to the table, and stand in the south. Everyone is seated, but the north is standing. The seats for male and female guests to attract the groom and female guests are all facing north.

Play music. The witness reads the certificate and exchanges ornaments for the bride and groom. The bride and groom hold a wedding, and things stand opposite each other. Double bow. Play music.

The host and the marriage seeker gave training and advice, and the groom and wife bowed three times to thank the marriage witness and introducer.

Representatives of male and female guests paid tribute, presented flowers and bowed. Play music.

The bride and groom made a thank-you speech and bowed twice.

Female guests represent civilized wedding songs.

Witnesses, references, male guests and female guests have all retired.

The bride and groom accept the wedding ceremony of men and women and all the ceremonies of men and women's families, and play music. Wedding ceremony for men and women and elders facing south, bowing three times, men and women facing east; Bow twice. Both men and women salute each other, east and west facing each other, bowing twice.

Men and women attract the bride and groom back. The men and women who presided over the ceremony, all men and women, as well as the boss and master of ceremonies, retired. After the ceremony, the banquet began. (Republic of China 12: Linfen County Records)

Today, the wedding customs in rural Shanxi are basically the same, but they are more characteristic of the times in content and form.