What kind of person can be in the society to mix open?

Many people have achieved nothing, or think they have achieved nothing. There are also a lot of people who feel that they have failed or are not successful in their endeavors. There are also a lot of people who feel that it is not interesting to live in the present, living in a very mechanical, living has not been thinking and heart. We envy every successful person in the society, we envy the rich people around us, we envy every famous car around us. We often have this thought: "Damn, how can I be so bad?

Yes, how did I get so bad? How come the guy who was not as good as me in my class (and around me) is so well off now?

Take away your sour eyes and let me tell you how to be social.

This article is only aimed at friends struggling to mix with society, that is, work hard, not much money, status is not high, a lot of injuries, no way forward, no backing, the future of the lost, the lack of goals of a class of people.

I. Friendships.

1, the basic configuration of social mixing.

People's lives, not a hundred years of loneliness, always have to have friends, if you want to do a qualified civilian, as long as the law, that with your nature of friendship, you are willing to hand over, not willing to let him roll. But you want to make a name for yourself in society, you have to be selective in your friendships, and have a utilitarian approach to making friends. For the average person, there must be at least one doctor, one lawyer, one small official, one police officer, one teacher, one gangster in the circle of friends.

Why do I say so, in fact, these friends, usually basically do not use, the average person's circle of friends are colleagues, classmates, neighbors, because we usually deal with friends, drinking and singing together with the friends of the bath, but also this circle, if there is no certainty of purpose, who will deliberately interact with a lawyer or a hooligan?

Doctors, lawyers, police, teachers, these usually seem to rarely use the friends, the critical moment is able to save your emergency or difficult, some can save your life! To the hospital to see a doctor, there is a doctor friend is worth celebrating, to save the unjust slaughter fee is a small matter, the rational use of medicines and materials, for you to contact his own heart to know the medical skill of a good doctor to help you see the doctor this is really indispensable help. The role of lawyers, we should all know that you are in trouble and bad luck of the key time, he can pull you a powerful hand. pol.office needless to say, often in the social mix, which can not wet shoes, the car was impounded, people were investigated, basically, these things have a friend within the Bureau to help you, you will not suffer much loss. The role of the teacher is undoubtedly huge for those who have children in the future.

Some people say it's useless to know these ordinary doctors and teachers pol.ice, for example, if you see internal medicine, friends can't help you with the five senses; if you want to help your son with his English, the language teacher can't help you. The people who ask these questions are all destined to mix in society at a lower level. Don't these people have their own circle of friends? Can't a friend of a Pentatologist find a friend of an internist? Can't a friend with a language teacher at school find a friend with an internist? When you make friends with these people, you are actually making friends with people in their circle of friends. How would it not be a better opportunity for you to get to know more people in the quasi-middle class?

Officials, hooligans. I think everyone knows the benefits of having a friend who is an official, even a junior civil servant. On this basis, the bigger the official, the better, accordingly, the chance of becoming friends is also smaller. As for why a rogue gangster friends, many people do not understand, in fact, very simple, at this stage of society, daily life in many things, with these friends to solve, than any other method is simple and effective, but not unlimited use, his side effects are also quite large, no cost only to get it is impossible, specific how to consider the cost-effective, please precision calculation.

As for the more luxurious configuration, can have on the better, such as the circle of friends with tycoons, seven or more officials, bosses, there is a second generation, there is a very bullish a long, and then for example, the circle of friends with Bill Gage Obama, that is not called mixing the community, it is called playing the community.

2, how to make friends you want to make friends.

There is nothing difficult in the world, but only people with a plan. Make friends want to make friends all of a sudden, it is impossible, but if you design with all your heart, at least you can make friends with general meat and drink, and for utilitarian ** friends, can reach the "meat and drink friends" this realm can be.

There is no secret to making friends, only the table and hobbies. These two are shortcuts to making friends, a table of wine down, at least face familiar, talk, a few drinks down, not fake friends is also a pseudo-brother. And for some people, along with his hobbies to the next hand, a hundred hits. People live in the world, it is impossible not to have hobbies, if you think a person does not have hobbies, that means you did not find. He likes to eat and drink, with him to eat and drink; he likes to sing and dance, with him dancing and singing; he likes to pretend to play the art of pure love, with him poetry and song. The fact is that the company's business is not only a good one, but also a good one, and it's a good one.

The details of making friends are also two points, give and listen, if you will be a little bit of speech observation that is better. Another point is to listen, this is actually very important, why do leaders like meetings so much? Because there are a lot of people to listen to their own speech is too good, why can almost every psychiatrist and patients become friends? Because they can not resist the urge to smoke the patients, but can take out a set of interested listeners to look. More and more fast-paced society, more and more selfish people, how many people are willing to listen to you in the side of the disease moaning? When you have learned to speak less boring, more patient listening, your city is a little deep, your friends will be more and more.

As for how to get to know these friends in different industries, it's incredible but really simple. The Americans once did a very interesting experiment, they want to see a random ordinary people through how many layers of relations to recognize a star in the entertainment industry or a political figure in the upper echelons of the countless experiments show that a random stranger, up to eight layers of relations, will be able to find the star or political figure. The connections are basically like a friend of a friend's father who knows the star's sister-in-law's nephew's neighbor or something like that. But for sure, everyone can find these people through the layers of connections! Stars can find them through hard work, not to mention ordinary people from all walks of life. The old adage that there is nothing difficult in the world, but only those who have a plan, is still true.

3, how to weave a network of relationships with yourself as a node.

After mastering so many friends resources, it would be a pity if they were left unused or used only at critical times. Any one in the society to mix with the people, he must be the left and right, at least on the surface he is a civilian in the eyes of the people, can do some ordinary people can not do the event, to find some ordinary people can not find the people. This kind of person is a kind of Spider-Man --- good at weaving a web of relations with himself as a knot point.

So how to weave this web? To put it simply, it's Qiankun Da Nuo Yi + Hua Jiemu Shen Gong, using A friend's relationship to help B friend's business, and then using B friend's relationship to do C friend's business. The words are good, sounds very beautiful, actually do it especially annoying, a bad both sides are easily offended. That's why most people don't like the hassle, and that's why most people are civilians. It takes a lot of energy to weave such a web, but once it's formed, you'll get a lot of use out of it. When you make a connection, more careful measurement, careful action, more successful cases, unknowingly, you will find that your ability to do things has exceeded your ability to think.

PS: Never be superstitious about any rules or principles. The Chairman of the Board of Directors of LUJIN Infrastructure, Mr. Shan Weibao, once said these words: "Never bow down in front of difficulties, there must be a way for you to go through, through, and around any difficulty in the world". I very much like this sentence, but also did a lot of difficulties and regulations in front of the seemingly unsolvable problems, but in the end always find a way or walk or wear or go around.

4, how to maximize their own interests.

The real purpose of a utilitarian *** friend is to minimize investment and maximize benefits. Some generous friends like to help others, their own difficulties but because of the face rarely go to ask for help, this is a complete fool. The basic role of friends is to help each other, and even on a certain level helping each other is a way to maintain friendships. If you know a friend, and you only want to help him, but not let him help himself, do you want to be Lei Feng Lei Feng? In fact, if you ask for your friend's help more often, your friend will be more at ease the next time he asks for your help, and there will be no awkwardness in the relationship. The more often you ask for help, the more comfortable your friend will be the next time you ask for help. This is a subtle psychological relationship that should be utilized.

Another situation is that your friend A is in need of 10,000 tons of smokeless media, and your friend B happens to sell smokeless media, but A and B don't know each other. In this case, what would you do? Some people say, it's no big deal, just introduce them to each other. Then I would like to congratulate this buddy, you are already half like Wu Bai.

The right thing to do is to emphasize all the difficulties in front of your friend A, but you will try your best to help him; emphasize all the difficulties in front of your friend B, but you will try your best to help him. You play karate, make a difference, and gain two more hardcore friends.

Other things, reference to the implementation of the long term, will be exposed. So we need to analyze the situation and selectively maximize the benefits.

PS: The examples given are very simple, but it is not easy to do everything. Playing with fire, walking a tightrope can play out of the level out of the level, which is called like a fish out of water, mixing well.

5, how to treat friends differently.

Basically, the order is like this: sincere friends, excellent friends, good friends, utilitarian friends, general friends.

The true friend is a dose of chicken soup, everyone needs, but not necessarily everyone can really have. You can make one or two friends in your lifetime. If you say I have more than a dozen friends, then you have too many.

This kind of friend is no talk, is in your desperate unconditional pull you a hand, is your cell phone number on the first, is your late-night car broke down in the middle of the road call to wake up his quasi come, is your P C was caught looking for a guarantor thought of the first one.

Extremely good friends it is hard to say, what real estate bosses, municipal party secretary and so on. When you're sure he's your friend, it's called a friend of the highest caliber.

Friends are similar to dead parties, especially the kind of play, the relationship is second only to true friends, the number is also very rare. This kind of friend is a friend who can lend him money, depending on the depth of the relationship to determine the amount of money lent.

Utilitarian friends are those mentioned above.

Friends in general are generalized, and acquaintances can also be called friends in general. Most of these friends can't lend money, but they can give a small amount of money, i.e., the kind of friends who lend money and don't want to return it.

Two, mixed with the cultivation of social qualities.

1, how to look at their own quality

Mention of this issue, many friends will be involuntarily associated with academic qualifications, work experience, job skills, a variety of certificates, returnees, results, music, chess, calligraphy and painting, and so on, the community respected "orthodox" quality.

In fact, your traditional education inertia thinking is wrong! Everyone has a unique skill set, and everyone has a unique skill set, and everyone has a unique skill set. Everyone has their own unique skills. For example, being able to drink is a skill!

The above "orthodox" skills, it is true that in one way or another, it improves the quality of a person in a certain area, but it is not the whole of the social mixing. Its biggest role, is that you go to the society of a door of a knocking brick, it can prove, just you in the past in a very small range of whether the good, it does not prove that you later in the value of the society!

We often see examples in the society of a unit, some people complain: MD, I graduated from the key colleges and universities, the work ability outstanding excellent, how is not as good as the ass-kissing useless so-and-so. In fact, it can be completely understood in this way, your key college diploma, and a will and the leadership will mingle with the bootlicker, not at all comparable, in the small environment in which you are located, your only skill can not be suitable for this small environment. It's a bit harsh and discouraging to say this, but I'm just going to go with the facts, after all, social education is very different from school education.

What I'm trying to say is: why are you always whining? Why can't you be an ass-kisser with a degree from a major university and an outstanding work ethic?

Below a friend disdained: cut, garbage, I would rather how, will not do this kind of shameless event.

Being an ass-kisser is not a degradation, nor is being an ass-kisser a derogatory term.

Some of my friends still have an inferiority complex, "I'm just a junior high school graduate, I don't do well in school, I drink and play cards all day long, I play pool," "I only play online games, I dance, I don't know how to do anything else," he said. These words are a bit extreme, I always think that people have to find their own body strengths and weaknesses, you say will play cards are strengths or weaknesses?

You want to be friends with other people, but you only focus on learning in the past few years, take the initiative to avoid losing their minds, never touch the cards, online games, billiards and these seemingly boring things. So you're just as bad, so I'd like to ask if it's easier to make friends with people in society who can talk a lot about everything, or with smart people like you who don't touch entertainment?

A friend again said, study first, other second is not good? If you say so, I'll just focus on playing.

Don't understand this way, I want to say, the vast majority of people in society are ordinary people, study books this road is only suitable for a very small number of genius players, you can't become a man of science, ultimately to fall into the mortal world, in the mortal world, will play cards and English six certificate is sometimes as important! The reason why you will know that the study of books first this truth, is your parents teachers and classmates long-term instillation of the results, just before going out into the community, you do not know to question.

In this subsection, I'll end with the facts.

Counting the ancient kings, you will find that there are basically two parts, one is hereditary, that is, born with the golden key, to become a king, and a part of the majority of the coarse grassroots people, many of whom are prodigal, poor, rogues and ruffians. They have nothing, so they have the courage to fight, they have nothing to lose, so they have great courage, they have no knowledge but have wisdom, so they have achieved great things. And those who are very smart, can read, read well, in the society of food and clothing without worrying about but can not make a big fortune in the people are doing? Being a strategist, being a civil servant, being a master. The reason for this is the fact that the people of the country are not the emperor,abercrombie france, but the people of the country are not the leaders of the country.

Similarly, what are the bosses and chairmen of those who have made a fortune in the society nowadays? How many of them are from Peking University and Tsinghua University? It's not unusual for a junior high school student to lead a doctoral student. But carefully analyze them, in addition to that part of the hereditary, entrepreneurship in the first generation, basically not too highly educated, there is also the latter day "make up" up, without exception, they are bold and intelligent people. The fact that they are not in a position to do so is an indication of the fact that they are not in a position to do so.

I do not want everyone to be able to achieve their height, their height is not purely by their own struggle, the era of the general environment of the opportunity, the opportunity of their own small environment are indispensable. I just explain a, a vast society, high education does not mean high quality, high alcohol does not mean high quality, there is no one thing is unchanging, with high technology to get the leadership of the boss appreciation and with the leadership of the boss drink with the boss to get the leadership of the boss appreciation of the two kinds of results and benefits are exactly the same, the key is the second point, how to locate the play of their own qualities, how to find their own position in the field!

2, how to locate their own qualities

The quality of people depends on many aspects, but in the mixed society, in terms of self, perfect character is the first, and IQ is listed in the second. The perfect character also includes a lot of aspects, generally speaking, one is not moving, the second is to look at the color. Immobility is the appropriate control of their emotions, feelings, personality at the right time, recognize their own ability, know clearly the role they play on every occasion, do not overstep, do not retreat, and try to play their roles to the best state. And the observation of words and colors refers to the observation of others, in the interaction of other people's character, ability, strengths and weaknesses, and know what kind of goods the other side, so as to select the appropriate response. These two points are very difficult to do, especially control yourself, really difficult, from small things to start, these two points as a habit, the day long, you will be in the eyes of others gradually mature.

Small tips: the first out of school and the world of people usually feel that they do not know how to deal with all kinds of people in society, feel with their peers a lot of words, but with some other roles, such as bosses, elders, cab drivers and so on and so on, not much to talk about, and often some of the scene, some people even the first time to know the people who talk as if they were special, and it seems that you have nothing to talk about. You don't seem to have much to talk about. This situation is normal, everyone is from the beginning of this step, here I do not want to teach you what to find the two sides **** the same point ah to go along with the other side of the word ah and so on the complex method, a most simple method, is to see a special social friend how to speak, how to lead to a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic of a topic. At first, it is to see, then learn, imitate, and finally try, even if a little wrong is fine, adhere to, in the long run, your ability to interact will be unknowingly soared.

When you reach the realm of maturity, you will be more rational about their own qualities, do not belittle themselves, but also never look up to themselves, to others to give you a high hat to be able to know whether it is true or false, to others to discredit and belittle your words can be full of confidence. On this basis, do what the event basically very measured and learn to plan, steady and powerful advancement.

Being more mature than a higher step is the worldly, more advanced than the worldly is slippery, more than slippery, a stronger layer is that you do not know, can not see what he is. This kind of person is called the human essence, usually the larger officialdom and the business world for sale.

Another is the positioning of their own work. There is no such thing as a bad job, only the wrong position. This is true, but it doesn't make any sense. It's like me saying you're a human being, right, but meaningless. Many people come out of school and realize they can't find a job within the scope of their studies; some work for a while and realize they can't stand the work. So people struggle to find the right job, the job they love or not.

There is a very good advice to you, this is the society of this university graduate students to study the results, any first-class university can not be found.

Before the age of twenty-five, not sure of the industry, not sure of the job before the age of thirty, after thirty-seven, do not easily move the nest.

No industry before the age of twenty-five. That is, even if you go to the university is a gardening profession, the future does not necessarily have to be in the environmental aspects of the relationship, perhaps you will play a good piano, which bar to hire you as a pianist, which is also a kind of work, there is no need to regret that the University of white and so on, in the current China, the University of the skills of the greatly weakened, a computer science students, after graduation may not know where to insert the memory stick, to write the simplest cycle of a A computer science student may not know where to plug in a memory stick or write a simple loop program after graduation; a medical student may not be able to gain as much as a one-year internship after four years of study. Before the age of twenty-five, it is possible to re-learn and start over in a new field, just because you are young and can afford to fail.

Before 30, you don't know what you're going to do. Thirty years old, you must determine an industry, such as selling stainless steel or as a teacher or a painter, because these industries require a lot of time and energy to familiarize themselves with and master, but the place and time of work is not necessary to be fixed, you can think carefully and repeatedly job-hopping, until you find a unit, a company, a team you are satisfied. Because although you are not too young, but you do not have the burden, you can afford.

After the age of thirty-seven, it is not easy to move the nest. After thirty-seven, your life path in the case of not much accident, the basic shape, and I believe that you also in your field has its own some reputation and status. Most importantly, your family is basically stable, children are born, parents are declining, you gradually become the backbone of the family. In this case, caution is certainly not a bad thing.

These are the general rules, and if there are special circumstances, they are out of the ordinary, so I won't repeat them.

A friend asked, I have so-and-so skills, I have so-and-so ability, you see what I can do? That's not a good answer, everyone gets the opportunity is never the same, the University of Beijing graduates can also sell pork. Their own comprehensive analysis of their own character and ability to see if they are doing something material, such as the same Internet in the middle of the night out to buy cakes as a midnight snack, some people buy on the go, chewing while thinking about the game; some people care about the thickness of today's cake size, they are not to buy a loss; some people have noticed that the recent cake business is particularly good, but can not help but calculate how much he can earn today, excluding the cost of the monthly net profit, but also see There are no similar stalls around, how much customer traffic, how many people buy cakes and so a bunch of data. Congratulations to the last student, you have a slight business mind, KFC why in China rarely closed down, it's market research and preliminary research aspects are you so come.

3, how to develop their own qualities

First of all, I want to ask a very old question: if you are paralyzed tomorrow, you reflect on the previous time, feel no regret?

I think most people will be more or less in some way regret. Some regret that they didn't study hard enough, some regret that they didn't get the girl they wanted, and some regret that they didn't take advantage of an opportunity.

There are countless articles out there telling you that regret is useless and that you should move on. This is a nonsense, regret is useless who do not know? The key is how you feel no regrets, I think even if you have been playing games on the Internet in the past, wasted school, wasted love. Then there is no need to regret, because you get enjoyment when playing games, get happy. How many people want to find a simple happiness can not be found, you can have, enough. Life in the end, enjoy the pleasure is the ultimate, do not take the hard work as a norm, hurry up a hundred years, how much time is their own? I'm not trying to discourage you, but the fact that you live a "normal" life is already a contribution to society. Drug use is the ultimate pleasure, but it's not a pleasure that burns your life away, as does alcoholism and smoking, so I'm hereby notified.

So whether or not you regret a past event depends entirely on your understanding of it, and in fact I've always felt that God is fair, and that when he closes a window, he opens a door for you. For example, we often sympathize with those who are mentally retarded and feel sorry for them, but in fact, in their simple hearts, there exists much more happiness than you and me.

Being sure that you don't have any regrets doesn't mean that you have to continue to indulge, but that you have to throw away your mental baggage and have a good time. From now on, you should work hard to find a higher level of enjoyment.

When you look back on the past with no regrets, you can clearly see your own character, weaknesses, understand the past failures, and do your best to avoid failures in the future journey. Memory is a kind of review and summarize, and regret can bring you nothing but frustration.

I like young people who have suffered a lot of setbacks, they are more realistic, mature and strong compared to their peers, those who have a smooth sailing are usually more aggressive, arrogant and fragile. I would even suggest that those who have grown up "good" learn one of the most important lessons in life: failure. This is not the kind of failure where you cry when you come in second place and can't afford an expensive handbag, but the kind of failure that almost destroys your spirit, and from which the child who rises from the pool of blood rebuilds a very strong spirit. The language is gory, but it's a reminder of the importance of failure and setbacks. When a person who has always succeeded fails, the blow is so great that he can never get up.

Nowadays, many young people have a kind of anxiety, they always want to be the fastest success or become a successful person, always want to seize an opportunity to immediately turn from the current difficult situation, they always want to do something, mention the word entrepreneurship is always ** million.

I don't want to discourage this kind of precious **, but I really hope that you can be fully prepared, including any details, and most importantly, be prepared for failure. For inexperienced entrepreneurs, a detailed plan is more important than some specious opportunities.

After all this talk, I would like to talk to you about how to improve your own qualities in the real world. Progress in society, in the social combat in progress, the president of Peking University said at the graduation ceremony - note that the graduation ceremony, not the commencement ceremony, society is not absolutely fair; society will not wait for you to grow! It doesn't care if you have a major psychological gap between school and society.

One is to choose the right skills, for example, if you are a rural worker, you have to have the realization that if I work in this job for a long time, in addition to money, what can I get? I've seen people doing a job in an electronics factory, plugging a few electronic components into a circuit board, day in and day out. This kind of work can bring you a salary, but basically nothing else, one day the factory collapsed, you also followed the collapse. Even if you live like this for a hundred years, you'll still be an ordinary, useless worker. There must be a sense of learning, there must be learning skills to climb up the consciousness, within a year A two and A three, one in the electronics factory to do this kind of work, a learning welding to do apprenticeship, five years later, A two is still a worker in the electronics factory, A three learned to weld the alloy steel, high rate of qualification, his salary and status far more than the A two. This is the crystallization of the combination of promising work and study.

Do you see what I mean? Even if you only have the lowest job to do, you should try to find a job where you can learn something and have a strong desire to learn. Apart from winning the lottery, this is the most realistic chance you have of getting ahead.

The second thing is to learn to lurk. Some people are very lack of patience, to do a certain kind of work is always not long, learning things always halfway, this is the most taboo habit, in the company, the unit heart work, to learn the skills slowly learn, the certificate to take in turn, the company that you jumped at the feet of the supervisor, the unit that is always to you to play the head of the yin is not a fool, when you can be ruthless enough to endure slowly grow up when you will find that his attitude towards you is also slowly transforming. Your attitude is also slowly transformed, because he found you important. And this time you look at the outside world, N more companies in your hands, high pay is not a dream. When you politely place a letter of resignation in front of your boss in a smart suit one morning, his face will look a lot brighter than when you slammed the door on him after a fight with him.

I believe that as long as you choose the right target, perseverance, pay a lot of sweat and tears, your harvest will be absolutely worth it. And what I said, basically all of us can do.