Zhihu's God Reply Pieces Selected _ Zhihu's God Turning Pieces Highlights

Zhihu, the largest knowledge discussion community on the Chinese Internet, is crowded. What are Zhihu's reply jokes? The following is a selection of jokes I compiled for you about Zhihu's reply. I hope you will like it.

Zhihu replied to the classic story 1. He has been very sad since he broke up with his girlfriend. He was afraid that she would go bad, make love at random, and indulge in all kinds of things. What should I do?

Cheese is power: at best, other people's bad behavior is to occupy the toilet and want to lock the door when they leave the toilet.

2. What are the nicknames for "rolling sheets"?

Anonymous user: Guan Bao's friend.

3. What is the most shocking confession you have ever received?

Cheng Dongdong: Can you be my girlfriend? Yes, I can. If not, I will consider it.

4. What is ambiguity?

Yuan Xiaoshuai: Ambiguous = Love Heaven.

5. What should I do if I suddenly pop up indecent pictures when I show PPT to my customers?

Liu: There was silence for half a minute. Then he asked, "Are you still sleepy? No, let's move on. . . "

6. It has been 100 days since we broke up. What if it hasn't come out yet?

Han Zhongzan: Replacing files is always more thorough than deleting files.

7. Why do girls have "body fragrance" and men don't?

Grass: Is the cosmetic preserved? _?

8. Many people of the same age get married and have children. Does it affect you?

Anonymous user: It has no influence on me, but it has a great influence on my mother.

9. Do men value a woman's figure, face or mind more?

Anonymous user: My face and figure determine whether I want to know what she thinks. Thought determines whether I will veto her face and figure with one vote.

10, is first love used to practice hands?

Nonsense. Being single is to practice your hands.

1 1. Does fitness lead to menopause?

Cao Yong: It depends on your relationship with the coach?

12, how soft are girls' breasts? What does it feel like?

Wang Dan:

I thought the subject was a man and wanted to lie in the trough. This is probably the saddest question of 20 15.

Look at the theme carefully. A woman is lying in a trough. Is this really the saddest question of 20 15?

13. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a female friend?

James Swainson: People in China have a habit of choosing names: in fact, if something is missing, it must be added to the name, and the five elements will be perfect.

14, the first girlfriend who fell in love for three years, gave her first night to someone else after a long-distance relationship. How to adjust?

Jiang Daming: I fell in love with a wild horse with a head full of grasslands.

15, how to answer the girl "What do you like about me"?

Is there no formula?

A time point+a little thing+description and polishing+vows of eternal love

One morning four years ago, you were busy preparing breakfast for me. Looking at your figure, I saw an angel in a trance. It's beautiful. At that time, I silently said to myself, this is the woman I want to love and hurt all my life. Finally, hold her tight without explanation.

16. What's it like to have no girlfriend?

Alvin: There is a feeling of talent shortage.

17. What was the experience of being confessed by more than ten people since childhood?

Akemi Homura: Not all the people you like are a burden to tell you.

18, what should I do if my girlfriend sleeps?

Jinyi: In primary school, every time I didn't hand in my homework, my teacher would punish me for cleaning the blackboard. It's not that the blackboard is dirty, but that I didn't hand in my homework.

19, how to respond to girls' confession to you?

Anonymous user: Shit, I didn't grasp the opportunity to turn over: "You are a good person. 」.

20. My boyfriend stole me while I was asleep. What should I think and do?

Xie Xiaolong: I'll touch you if you live together. Didn't I want this when I got married? Such a man can't have it.

2 1, why do you say "honest people are easy to cheat"?

Tong: Four philosophies in the circle of friends. People who are too honest are easy to cheat. Women who don't smoke are all bitches. Being a girl doing WeChat business earns tens of thousands of dollars a month. All children who do not go to school become presidents.

22. What is the saddest thing about secretly loving someone?

Anonymous user: In order not to let others see that I am particularly good to him, I can only be good to everyone. Damn, I'm exhausted.

23. How to give your boyfriend face outside?

North Southeast: There is an adventure to tell the truth at the class reunion. A friend asked his girlfriend. Have you ever had a car shake? The girlfriend replied yes. I thought to myself, my girlfriend really gives me face. I didn't tell my classmates that I didn't have a car.

24. What is the perfect love in your mind? Who can design such life details, dialogues, psychological descriptions or plots?

Wu: It is strange that two people are obviously more comfortable together than alone.

25. Do you care if your lover has a girlfriend of the opposite sex?

Anonymous user: A woman will never understand why a man doubts her friendship with other men, because men know men too well!

26. My girlfriend asked me to write a 60,000-word love letter. How to write?

Yue Yihe: The love letter is like this: Dear, every day when we are together, I will give you a love letter that says "I love you". In this way, in the 55th year from today, you will certainly understand my feelings of 60,000 words.

27. What if you like prostitutes?

Yue Hu: First of all, learn to judge sentences.

28. What degree of loyalty should couples maintain?

Russian bear: Actually, I don't ask much. If you don't like me, tell me before you find someone else.

29. What kind of man do you go to after you know that a girl has a boyfriend?

Anonymous user: a girl who knows how to invest and has a boyfriend has only one competitor for him; A girl without a boyfriend has countless competitors for him.

30. What do girls usually think when they are held by their boyfriends for the first time?

Liu Tingting: Shit, his hands are so big and my breasts are too small?

3 1. What should men and women know before they have love?

Chen Bin: Pretending to love someone you don't love is the greatest self-love. It's no shame to really love someone who doesn't love you. Kidnapping someone who doesn't love you with love is the worst.

32. What do you admire most about your husband?

Yolin Guo: You are so good at hide-and-seek that you haven't appeared yet.

33. Why are others being chased and you not?

Yingbao: Then ask yourself, if you give their boyfriends to you, will you?

34. Do you agree with the view that falling in love for the purpose of not getting married is hooliganism?

Liao: Marriage without love as a process is hooliganism.

35. I am usually used to joking. As a result, I confessed to girls, and people thought I was joking. What should I do?

What's the hurry? She didn't misunderstand, but she was very kind.

36. How should I react when I find a girl's shoulder strap exposed on a date?

Zhang Haifu: Pull it up and let it go. Bang, bang, it's fun. I suddenly understand why I don't have a girlfriend.

37. How to describe unrequited love in the most beautiful sentence?

Joelancat: Don't look at me. Do not look at me. I'm not myself.

38. How to persuade my wife to get married without taking a wedding photo?

Zhang Ke: What qualifications do you have to be talkative? Just cooperate.

39. What was the most helpless thing you did when you bowed to reality?

Li Shaoze: Her hands are only three-quarters as big as mine, but I still can't catch them.

40. What if there is no lover on Valentine's Day?

Ruah: Do you have to try to kill one or two people who are not dead at home before Tomb-Sweeping Day? No, it's just ...

Zhihu replied to the short story 1. What's it like to be accosted by the opposite sex on the road?

Wang Nuo Nuo: China: "I'm not interested in English. I don't study yoga. I don't try your beauty products. I don't have 6 yuan with me, and my mobile phone is dead like you." Foreign: "I'm sorry I didn't join the party."

2. What mentality did the person who refused me occasionally come to my space with?

Tian Guangze: This is not good for touch-screen phones.

3. Why can the boys who chase me only insist on chasing for half a year at most?

W: A year of 18 is not as long as 28.

4. What is the most exciting confession?

Time-consuming and ink-consuming: I forget where I have seen it before;

Like the bald man. (female: I like bald men. )

Me? I am not bald. M: I'm not bald. )

I can wait. W: I can wait. )

Why does my boyfriend always fail to understand my mind when I have something to say?

Pan Qiulin: Question, guess what my answer is? Do you want me to answer directly before you understand?

6. What state does a girl have that she has fallen in love with you?

Mo Yu: I am full of anger. Anyone who hires me at this time will be reckless with TA. But what I saw turned out to be you, and all the resentment turned into grievances, and my eyes were moist.

7. What's it like to have a girlfriend?

Guo Shao: It is strange that I am a poor boy, but why do I always feel that I own the whole world?

8. A good-looking girl who loves taking selfies almost never sends photos in her circle of friends. Why?

Kenneth: Maybe you don't belong to the group where she often takes selfies.

9. What should I do if I lose interest immediately after catching up with girls?

Anonymous user: "Poets praise love only before kissing a girl. After they got a woman, they began to praise freedom. "

10, how to tell boys "I think you are not bad, come after me" gracefully and implicitly?

Xu Wei: It's no use. We boys also look at faces.

Zhihu's reply to God is a popular joke of 1 Q: What was the most shocking confession you received?

Can you be my girlfriend? Yes, I can. No, I'll think of something.

2. q:? With dusk and snow coming, how about a glass of wine? How to reply more domineering?

A drop of wine from the driver makes two tears from the relatives.

3. Q: Why do people in China like to shoot costume films so much?

The biggest problem facing science fiction films is whether the party's leadership is needed in the future.

4. Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a female friend?

China people have a habit of choosing names: in fact, if something is missing, it must be added to the name, and the five elements will be perfect.

6. Q: A beautiful woman is eating Sugar-Coated Berry. How can I convince her that I'm not here to strike up a conversation but to know where I bought the candied haws?

? Hello, beauty, you are so beautiful. I saw you from far away, so I just wanted to come and say hello to you ... Well, I want to ask, where did you buy Sugar-Coated Berry?

7. Q: What should I do if I suddenly pop up indecent pictures when I show PPT to my customers?

After half a silence, ask again: Are you still sleepy? No, let's move on. . . ?

8. Q: When having dinner with a girl I don't know very well (I have the will to pursue her), the woman proposed the AA system. Should she accept it?

It's my treat this time, and it's your treat next time.

9. Q: If I want to travel abroad with 2000 RMB, which country can I go to?

State of Qin. Lu Guo. Qi State. Shu State. Korea. Zheng Guo. Guo Wei. Chu State. Zhao Guo. Yan State. Wu. Wait a minute.

10. Q: How to express "I was bought" implicitly?

Can I be fair?

1 1. Q: My girlfriend got pregnant after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. What should I do?

Whoever pollutes will be treated. Who develops and protects.

12. Q: My girlfriend allowed me to cheat and introduced me to her best friend. How can I understand her behavior on the premise that she really loves me?

Never fall for it! ! ! Mac tells you that I can install windows, but if you do, I will have a high fever to get back at you!

13. Q: Why do some people say that "women are always right"?

This sentence reflects that many men are unreasonable and think that many women are unreasonable.

14. Q: Why do girls have "body odor" and men don't?

Are cosmetics preserved? _?

15. Q: Many people of the same age are married and have children. Does it affect you?

It doesn't affect me, but it affects my mother more.

16. q: do men value a woman's figure, face or heart more?

My face and figure decide whether I want to know her thoughts or not. Thought determines whether I will veto her face and figure with one vote.

17. Q: What do you mean, "Who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life"?

I'm sick, who has medicine!

18. Q: What do you think of your girlfriend's blue face?

Blue face, blue face, add some yellow to make it green.

19. Q: How to express anger gracefully?

Push your glasses with your middle finger.

20. Q: How do you complain that a movie sucks?

There are 17 rows of seats in the cinema, with 32 seats in each row. There are 48 lights on the ceiling, and a black dot always appears in the lower left corner of the screen. The frequency is about 1 minute and 20 seconds.

2 1. Q: How to reply "Is there no old man at home? Don't you have children? Like "moral kidnapping"

Grandpa and I are both educated, and there is no fight on the bus. My brother and sister have a good family education, so I can't bear to be quiet. My parents don't smoke, and my mother doesn't shout in the car. Your family is of high quality.

22. Q: What laws impress you and are instructive?

Everything depends on the face.

23. Q: It's been 100 days since we broke up. What if it hasn't come out yet?

Replacing files is always more thorough than deleting files.

24. Q: Why is it so difficult to find a boyfriend?

Love at first sight has no capital, and long-term love has no conditions.

25. Q: How was Daniel tempered?

I remember when I first entered the company, the code I wrote was messy, full of mistakes and bugs. Not only the project manager scolded me, but also other colleagues complained to me. Later, I listened to a friend's introduction and signed up for a training class. After 1 month's efforts, many good things have been learned. They can't scold me.

26. Q: How to respond to "People's eyes have 576 million pixels, but they can't understand people's hearts after all"?

You have 654.38+000 billion brain cells, but you are trying to think about the problem of no nutrition.

27. Q: How is it more reliable for boys to answer girls' "Why are you so kind to me"? ?

I respect that you are a man.

28. Q: What is the most wonderful advertising language in history?

Garbage sorting, starting with me.

29. Q: What does it mean for my sister to return the book with a tissue?

It means that you are interested in others.

30. Q: How can I improve my girlfriend's IQ?

When she doesn't like you, her IQ naturally goes up.

3 1. Q: Why are others being chased and you are not?

Then ask yourself, if you give their boyfriend to you, will you?

32. Q: Is there a difference between southerners and northerners playing DotA?

In winter, the level of the south drops collectively.

33. Q: What are the famous "brainwashing terms" in history?

For all China people, there is a four-word mantra that can never be avoided. As long as someone tells you these four words, you can be possessed to buy tickets for the most scary scenic spots, climb the most dangerous peaks and eat the worst restaurant food. These four words are: come here.

34. Q: My girlfriend sent a text message saying "I miss you". How should I reply to the text message?

Stubborn. She texted you back? Call back!

Zhihu's reply to short story 35. Q: What are the famous sayings about football?

There is not much time left for the China team.

36. Q: Where does a woman's tenderness come from?

Go out for a quarrel and buy a dish by the way.

37. Q: What is the most famous love show in history?

The bonfire plays the prince.

38. Q: My girlfriend says XX is so handsome. How should I take the next conversation?

So what? My girlfriend is not as beautiful as mine.

39. Q: Why do some people feel more handsome/beautiful after taking a shower and washing their hair?

Because I'm crazy.

40. Q: What amazing people or things did you meet during your trip?

My mother, she won't let me go anywhere.

4 1. Q: Why should demolition be circled?

I'm from the demolition team, but I'm not particular about it. It is purely for convenience. When I am in a good mood, I can also draw a heart.

42. Q: What broke you down?

Reasoning with your girlfriend.

43. Q: My sister sent a book and wrote a paragraph in Russian on the title page. What does that mean?

Knowing that the other person can't understand, what you have to pay is confession.

44. Q: What is the experience of having a smart girlfriend?

Call your girlfriend on your friend's cell phone. As soon as I get through, she will know to call honey before I speak.

45. Q: What praise embarrassed you?

Oh, this young man, you can't judge a book by its cover.

46. Q: Why can't the library wear slippers?

In case those who lick their fingers, read books and dig their feet fight.

47. Q: In ancient mythology, why can willow and locust trees be refined, but fruits and vegetables cannot?

Make a vow to practice in the morning and stew at noon?

48. Q: Why do all the fish in the deep sea grow so special?

The deep sea was dark, and no one could see anyone, so everyone grew up.

49. Q: Is falling in love a waste of time?

When you are in love, you fall asleep with a smile every day, wake up with a smile, walk alone with a smile, chat with others and chat with your girlfriend. A group of bachelors looked at me silently, and it was thoughtless to think of it now.

What is the time? I gave her my life, so I wasted it:)

50. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend won't let you talk to her or touch her during a quarrel?

Drop a cup on the floor and see if you can stop her. If you control it, it's over. If you don't stop it, you will be finished kneeling on the glass slag.

5 1. Q: When children ask, "Why can adults hit me when I do something wrong, but I can't hit them when adults are wrong?" ?

Because you can't fight, when you can, adults will start to reason with you.

52. Q: What's it like to be in love with a lawyer?

If you don't get divorced, you can't even buy underwear

53. Q: Why can't I contact my ex-boyfriend?

The four most useless things in the emotional world: regret after breaking up, care after not loving, kindness with high self-esteem and low emotional intelligence.

54. Q: Why does China rarely launch wars of foreign aggression?

Is it paid by telephone from a small piece of the Yellow River valley to a big rooster now?

55. Q: What is the experience of having a daughter?

? Baby, I am willing to give you everything in this world?

? I want to eat ice cream ~

? No way! ?

56. Q: The girl said Lin Weiyin's last words: Love, warmth and hope, you are April on earth. How to correct the following sentence?

It's him, it's him, it's him, young hero Nezha Jr.

57. Q: What shocked you about your ignorance?

When I was a child, I had to write a pen name when I wrote a composition. What do I always write? China drawing pencil? .

58. Q: Why are people closer to the north more direct and tough?

It's very cold, so I have no time to travel with you.

59. Q: How is Jimmy Lin's singing?

I wrote a long paragraph of praise, such as mellow, beautiful voice, nature and so on, and then I found that what you said was not Terry Lin, so I silently deleted it.

60. Q: What was the experience of breaking up?

The teacher can only deny your grades and the boss can only deny your work.

But what about her? She totally denied you.

Zhihu Shenfu jokes abridged 0 1

Say a poem with great meaning.

A lazy man in a small shirt.

? 02

What was the first 3D surround music you heard?

Throw a handkerchief.

? 03

Do you want to cut the whole pizza into 8 pieces or 12 pieces?

Eight dollars, 12. I can't eat it.

? 04

If you were someone else, would you like to be with yourself?

Don't even think about it. How can I have such a blessing?

? 05

In ancient times, my sister's face value could support the whole brothel!

You mean you look like a pillar?

? 06

Describe your cup in one sentence.

Suidad

? 07

I'm sorry, we may not be suitable.

Bullshit, I'm versatile.

? 08

Poverty is not a state.

Poverty is a normal state.

? 09

Why are you shopping alone?

I'm afraid I'll scare you if I go shopping alone!

? 10

What is the outer layer of the earth?

Xiangpiaopiao milk tea

? 1 1

History teacher: Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?

Me: I'm afraid I tamper with history.

? 12

Pupils disbanded in the street.

Netizen: Please give more care to the empty nesters after 90s.

13

You young people just take money too seriously!

Don't put anything on the table. What if the wind blows away?

? 14

Attendant:? Glad to serve you?

Me:? Is it too early to be happy?

? 15

Is it normal for a boyfriend to eat his girlfriend's tofu?

If you don't get married, don't you have to go to bed after you get married?

? 16

Q: What should I pay attention to when opening an inn in the martial arts world?

A: There is a sign on the wall: I want to shout it out.

? 17

Attendant:? Excuse me, what can I do for you?

? Yes, can you pay it for me?

? 18

Dota once, teammate: I'm a little stuck. What about you?

Another teammate: Is there a card in this game? ! Where can I buy it?

19

Broadcast gymnastics is so fake that girls have done chest expansion exercises for more than ten years without any effect.

Have you ever seen Tintin, a boy who dances Latin dance, stretch himself?

? 20

There is a kind of fish named Kun in the north.

Kun is as old as you.

Into a bird named Peng,

Peng is back, just like your luck.

? 2 1

Once I saw someone propose, I asked my friend why he proposed on one knee.

She said kneeling is the grave.

? 22

Who would have thought that this girl 16 years old,

Just a boy of 12 years old four years ago.

? 23

Q: What is the animal that can't swim in the world?

A: daughter-in-law and mother

? 24

I want to touch your hair. This is just a simple test.

Hmm! It is really oily!