Which countries differ from China in customs and ethics?

First, the differences between values and moral standards (differences between values and moral standards)

1. Personal honor and modesty

Westerners worship individual struggle, especially take pride in achievements, and never hide their confidence, sense of honor and ecstasy after achievements. On the contrary, China culture does not advocate showing off personal honor, but advocating modesty.

China people object to the boasting of the old woman who sells melons, but the modesty or self-denial of China people often make westerners dissatisfied. "Your English is very good", "No, no, my English is poor", "You are doing very well", "No, I don't think so. This is the result of joint efforts. "This kind of modesty, in the eyes of westerners, not only denies himself, but also denies the taste of connoisseurs. This modesty of China people will not work in the capitalist competitive market.

2. Self-centeredness and selfless dedication Self-centeredness and sacrifice

Westerners have a strong sense of self-centeredness and independence, which is mainly manifested in: (1) taking responsibility for themselves. In the law of the jungle society, everyone's lifestyle and quality of life depend on their own abilities. Therefore, everyone should strive for themselves and put personal interests first. (2) I'm not used to caring and helping others, but I don't ask other people's things. (3) It is precisely because of the above two points that it is often embarrassing to take the initiative to help others or accept others' help in the West. Because accepting help can only prove your incompetence, and taking the initiative to help others will be considered as interfering in other people's private affairs.

China people's code of conduct is "whether I am useful to others and society", and personal value is reflected in dedication. China culture advocates a noble sentiment-selfless dedication. In China, it is a virtue to take the initiative to care for others and give them meticulous consideration. Therefore, China people are willing to take the initiative to care about their family affairs and private affairs, regardless of other people's major events, which will be considered as "meddling" in the West.

3. Innovative spirit and the golden mean entrepreneurial spirit VS the golden mean

Western culture encourages people to innovate and do something outstanding and extraordinary that has never been done before. However, the traditional culture of China requires people to be impartial and mean. China people are good at predicting future dangers and are more willing to maintain the status quo and harmony.

4. Individual freedom and unity and cooperation Individual freedom and harmonious cooperation

Westerners cherish personal freedom very much, and they can do whatever they like, going it alone and not wanting to be restricted. China culture emphasizes collectivism, advocates that individual interests are subordinate to collective interests, and advocates sharing weal and woe, unity and cooperation, and keeping pace.

Second, differences in social relations, differences in social relations

1. Equality consciousness and class concept

Westerners have a strong sense of equality. No matter rich or poor, everyone will respect themselves and will not allow others to infringe on their rights. At the same time, everyone can fully respect others. In the United States, few people are proud of their distinguished family background, and few people are ashamed of their poor family background, because they all know that as long as they work hard, they will succeed. As a popular American proverb says, "Cowboys can be presidents as long as they work hard." If we work hard, even a cowboy can be president. )

Although New China has been established for 50 years, the traditional hierarchical concept of monarch, minister and father is still deeply rooted in the minds of China people. The father is the absolute authority in the eyes of his son, and the teacher is the absolute authority in the eyes of his students. Family background still plays an important role in people's growth.

2. Nuclear family and four generations living under one roof and four generations living under one roof

The American-style family structure is relatively simple: parents and minor children are called nuclear families. Once the children get married, they have to move out and become financially independent. Parents are no longer obliged to raise their children. This practice provides young people with maximum freedom and cultivates their ability to live independently, but it also alienates the relationship between relatives.

The family structure in China is complicated, and the traditional happy family is four generations living under one roof. In such a family, the elderly help to look after the children, and the children and grandchildren help to support the elderly when they grow up. Family members depend on each other and help each other, which brings them closer to each other. But this lifestyle is not conducive to cultivating young people's independent ability.

Third, differences in social etiquette differences in social etiquette

People in China like to ask each other's name, age, company and income when they meet. Westerners hate being asked personal questions such as age and income.

Acquaintances in Lu Yu, China always say "Have you eaten?" "Where to?" "Go to work?" Wait a minute. In our opinion, this is a polite greeting. If you greet westerners like this, "Have you eaten?" "Where are you going?" They will think that you want to invite him to dinner or interfere in his private affairs, which will lead to misunderstanding. Westerners usually say hello when they meet! "Hello!" "Nice day, isn't it?"

China people usually show modesty when praised by others, and they have a set of modest words, such as "shame", "where", "humble" and "clumsy writing". Westerners always answer "thank you" happily to show their acceptance.

China people use "thank you" less than westerners, especially among very close friends and family. Westerners, on the other hand, say "thank you" all day, even among relatives, friends and family.

When people in China receive gifts, they often put them aside (for fear of being called greedy). When westerners receive gifts, they should immediately open them in front of the guests and even claim that they are good.

China people are hospitable. They pour wine into cups and serve food again and again. Guests can't eat or drink, which makes westerners find it difficult to deal with.

The habit of westerners is: help yourself!

When Chinese people send their guests away, the host and guests often say, "Go slowly!" " "Be careful!" "Goodbye, goodbye!" "You go in!" "Please stay" and so on. Westerners will only say, "Bye-bye!" "See you later!" "See you next time! Good night! "

Fourth, the differences of social customs.

1. Attitude towards women

The status of American women and China women is not high, but American women are fortunate to enjoy many traditional knight customs. Courtesy of respecting women can be seen everywhere in American society: men open doors for women; Help the lady get off the bus; On the road, men walk outside and women walk inside to provide protection for women; When the lady enters the restaurant, all the men should stand up; Before going to the dinner table, the man will open the chair for the lady, and then send the chair back to the lady's back and ask her to sit down.

There seems to be less concern and etiquette for women in China society. Some experts have noticed that quite a few Chinese characters with the word "female" contain derogatory meanings, such as "devil, prostitute, traitor, slave, jealousy and jealousy".

2. Attitude towards marriage Attitude towards marriage

Westerners' views on marriage are very different from those of China. Because they think: marriage is purely a personal matter, and no one can interfere; At the same time, marriage is not a moral issue. A person has the right to choose to live with the person he likes. Once the existing marriage is found to be a mistake, he/she has the right to make a second choice. If a couple falls in love with a third party, neither of them will be blamed. In their view, it is cruel to force two people who don't love each other to live together.

China's marriage is relatively stable. This is because China people regard marriage as the top priority in their lives. Everyone treats it with caution and chooses it carefully. Once a decision is made, it will not be changed easily. In addition, China people have always believed that marriage is a serious moral problem, and it is considered extremely immoral to love the new and hate the old or let a third party interfere.

Understanding the cultural differences between China and the West is of great significance for improving cross-cultural communication ability. It can help us correctly understand the words and deeds of westerners, fully understand each other and respect each other's customs in the process of communication, so as to achieve the best communication effect. My understanding of previous forums, the opening remarks of previous sessions, I talked about the comparison between Chinese and Western cultures, and how China people can re-recognize themselves after their rise. We are in a very special era, in a fiery red era, in an era of the rise of China, and this era has kept us waiting for hundreds of years. In the course of 200 years, the people of China have been exploring self-help. In this process, the people of China have deeply realized their backwardness and the strength of the West. This process has formed a deep-rooted consciousness of worshipping the West, a kind of subconscious, which is divided into two parts, making China people extremely modest, learning and imitating the West with an open mind, and making many places develop very fast, including the road signs on expressway are green, why the roads are so wide, and why the road guardrails are like those in the United States.

Western worship enables us to learn from the West in all directions, which accelerates our progress and shortens our distance from the West. When China began to become more and more powerful and needed to assume the obligations and responsibilities of leading the world in many aspects, it was precisely because of our subconscious worship of the West that we could not form a supercilious mentality, an independent cultural form of optimists, and we were not original in culture. We are in the mentality, context and culture of western worship, how to go out and how to humbly go to the world.

First, the influence of social differences on etiquette

Both eastern and western cultures attach great importance to interpersonal communication, but there are obvious differences in the concept and way of communication. For example, China people are hospitable and full of enthusiasm in interpersonal communication. It seems that they have nothing to keep, and take it for granted that they know age, occupation, income, marital status, children and other issues. In western countries, special attention is paid to each other's right to privacy. Personal privacy mainly includes: personal status (age, work, income, marriage, children, etc. ), political ideas (which side to support or oppose), religious beliefs (what religion to believe in), personal behavior tendencies (where to go, who to associate with, correspondence) and so on. Anyone who involves personal privacy can't ask directly. Westerners are generally unwilling to interfere in other people's private lives and personal privacy, and they are unwilling to be interfered by others. For example, in China, people will directly ask others the price of the goods they buy. Because in the eyes of China people, the price of an item can only explain the quality of the item. In the eyes of westerners, if you directly ask others about the price of shopping, you may be asking about their economic conditions. Therefore, this is also the privacy of westerners, and it is not appropriate to ask directly. If you want to know the price of an item, you can only praise it euphemistically. In this case, westerners generally only tell you the price of the goods, and generally don't tell you the exact price. People in China like to ask, "Where are you going?" This is a way of greeting. In America, if you ask your friend where he is going, it may embarrass him, because it belongs to the other person's privacy and you shouldn't ask. In addition, the spatial distance of interpersonal communication can be divided into four types: intimate distance, personal distance, social distance and public distance. People in China are close in space. We can often see two China girls walking down the street arm in arm, but it is rare in the west. Westerners think that China people are too close, while China people will think that westerners are too cold, arrogant and distant, which is unfriendly. If China people find a thread on the clothes of their communication partners, they will naturally help them take it off. In the eyes of westerners, this is impolite. When Chinese people see a friend wearing a very beautiful dress, they will touch it and ask about the price or texture. Westerners don't. They are more envious and praise directly. In a word, this is all caused by the differences in cultural concepts between the East and the West. Orientals attach importance to righteousness and affection, while westerners advocate individual independence.

Second, the influence of personal outlook on life on etiquette

(A) personal sense of honor and modesty

Westerners worship personal struggle, especially take pride in personal achievements, and never hide their confidence, sense of honor and ecstasy after achievements. On the contrary, China culture does not advocate showing off personal honor, but advocating modesty and prudence. Generally speaking, most people in China object to or despise the boasting of the old woman selling melons, but the modesty or self-denial of China people often make westerners dissatisfied. For example, "Your English is good" and "No, no, my English is poor"; "You did a good job." "No, I don't think so. This is the result of joint efforts. " This is of course a modest statement in the eyes of China people, but in the eyes of westerners, it not only denies itself, but also denies the editor's appreciation. It can be seen that this kind of Chinese modesty will not work in the competitive market of western capitalism.

(B) self-centered and selfless dedication

Westerners have a strong sense of self-centeredness and independence, which is mainly manifested in: 1. Take responsibility for yourself. In the law of the jungle society, everyone's lifestyle and quality of life depend on their own abilities, so everyone should strive for themselves and put personal interests first; I am not used to caring and helping others, but asking others. It is precisely because of the above two points that it is often embarrassing to take the initiative to help others or accept help from others in the West. Because accepting help can only prove your incompetence, and taking the initiative to help others will be considered as interfering in other people's private affairs.

China people's code of conduct is "whether I am useful to others and society", and personal value is reflected in dedication. China culture advocates a noble sentiment-selfless dedication. In China, it is a virtue to take the initiative to care for others and give them meticulous consideration. Therefore, China people are willing to take the initiative to care about their family affairs and private affairs, regardless of other people's major events, which will be considered as "meddling" in the West.

(C) innovative spirit and the doctrine of the mean.

Western culture encourages people to innovate and do something outstanding and extraordinary that has never been done before. However, the traditional culture of China requires people to be impartial and mean. China people are good at predicting future dangers and are more willing to maintain the status quo and harmony. Of course, in recent years, China has also vigorously advocated innovation and reform, but the pragmatic and steady mentality is still everywhere. The spirit of adventure is still incomparable to westerners.

Freedom of personality and unity and cooperation

Westerners cherish personal freedom very much, and they can do whatever they like, going it alone and not wanting to be restricted. China culture emphasizes collectivism, advocates that individual interests are subordinate to collective interests, and advocates sharing weal and woe, unity and cooperation, and keeping pace.

Third, the influence of different legal concepts on etiquette.

Oriental culture is represented by Confucianism, which values righteousness over profit. For the friendship between brothers and friends, we can be lenient, even at all costs, and the result is often excessive behavior and loss of more due benefits. For example, people in China value human feelings and have strong human feelings. There is an old saying: "Blood is thicker than water", "Kiss or not, hometown people, beauty or not, hometown water." These words mean that human feelings affect judgment, and human feelings are more important than morality. "Water", even if it is not beautiful, is beautiful as long as it is domestic water. This is an expression that emotion is more important than reason. Sometimes emotion is even more important than law, which is mainly because China has always had an emotional influence on the legal system space, that is to say, in China, we stress rationality first, and then legitimacy. If it is legal and unreasonable, it will be difficult to implement this law. If it is reasonable, there are rules to follow.

Westerners are the opposite. Westerners value law, not human feelings. Law precedes reason, and reason precedes emotion. We often see father and son, husband and wife and friends in the west go to court. Some things are obviously unreasonable, but they are legal. Losers can only admit that they are unlucky, and onlookers can only tolerate them. But if something is illegal, even if it is reasonable, westerners will argue endlessly until it goes to court.

In sensible China, there is a strong human touch, so you can do something, trust others and get along well. This is a natural insurance system, and it is easy for people to tide over difficulties in a difficult environment. So in China, human relations are extremely important, and life is full of family happiness. But it is also prone to injustice; In western countries with legal feelings, human feelings are like paper, which can be said to be "the voice of chickens and dogs hears each other, and death does not touch each other." If there is any contradiction, reason first, then go to court, simple and clear. Westerners are indifferent to human feelings, but fair and equal. Even a grassroots person can go to court with the Prime Minister as long as it is really reasonable and legal. Living in western countries is a bit like being rich and beautiful in the Guanghan Palace, but there is a general sense of coldness. Especially for the elderly, it is very pitiful for us in China to be lonely and walk alone.

Fourth, the influence of different social customs on etiquette.

In eastern culture, men are often highly respected, which is mainly influenced by the feudal concept that men are superior to women. In modern society, oriental culture also advocates equality between men and women, but in many cases, the status of men is still higher than that of women, and women are still discriminated against. In western countries such as Europe and America, respecting women is a traditional custom, and giving priority to women is one of the principles in communication in western countries. No matter what kind of public place, men should take care of women. For example, when shaking hands, women hold out their hands first, and then men can follow. When going to eat, the man should sit down with the woman first, and the woman should order first. When entering the door, the lady should go first. Get on and off the elevator. The lady is in front. Now, with the deepening of cultural exchanges between the East and the West, the western principle of giving priority to women is also favored in the East. The blending of eastern and western cultures also makes eastern and western etiquette increasingly integrated, unified and more international.

For another example, the eastern countries, represented by China, pay special respect and filial piety to the elderly when dealing with the relationship between the old and the young. For example, in the eyes of many people in China, it is unfilial for the elderly to send their children to nursing homes or nursing homes when they get old. Children usually spend the Spring Festival with the elderly. In some rural areas of China, during the Spring Festival, the younger generation should bow to their elders. In western countries, due to the promotion of self-reliance, children have less and less contact with their parents when they are adults, which makes many old people often feel lonely and have a sense of desolation in their later years.

Fifth, the influence of grade differences on etiquette.

Oriental culture has a strong sense of hierarchy. No matter in the organization or in the family, it is unseemly to ignore rank and status. Although the hierarchy in the traditional etiquette system has been eliminated, the concept of hierarchy still has an impact on eastern culture. In China, the traditional hierarchical concept of monarch, minister and father is still deeply rooted. The father is the absolute authority in the eyes of his son, and the teacher is the absolute authority in the eyes of his students. Family background still plays an important role in people's growth. In addition, the family structure in China is more complicated, and the traditional happy family is four generations living under one roof. In such a family, the elderly help to look after the children, and the children and grandchildren help to support the elderly when they grow up. Family members depend on each other and help each other, which brings them closer to each other.

In western countries, except for a few countries such as Britain, which have hereditary aristocracy and strict hierarchy, most western countries advocate the concept of equality. Especially in America, people advocate equality. Few people are proud of their distinguished family background, and few people are ashamed of their poor family background, because they all know that as long as they work hard, they will succeed. As a popular American proverb says, "Cowboys can be presidents as long as they work hard." If you work hard, even a cowboy can be president. At home, Americans don't talk about hierarchy. Parents and children can call each other by their first names as long as they respect each other. Their family values are often weak and they are unwilling to make too many sacrifices for their families.

Of course, there are still many etiquette differences caused by cultural differences between China and the West, such as dress etiquette and dining etiquette. Due to the limitation of space, it is impossible to discuss it in depth here. In a word, China and the West have their own cultural habits, which have also produced many different communication habits. Therefore, with the development of China's economy and the increasing foreign exchange and trade, we not only need to know the etiquette habits of other countries before interacting with foreigners or going to other countries, but also need to strengthen the cultivation of professional etiquette talents and improve the etiquette awareness of the whole people. This not only respects each other, but also brings convenience to oneself, which can not only avoid unnecessary troubles and misunderstandings, but also strive for initiative and obtain good results or benefits in the multi-party competition in modern society.

Chinese and western festivals reflect the differences of traditional culture.

Recently, we have been talking and reporting on intangible cultural heritage. I don't know whether it was stimulated by South Korea's first application for the Lantern Festival as its own cultural heritage, or by the recent prosperity of philosophy and social sciences and the development of China's classical civilization and traditional culture derived from the Eleventh Five-Year Plan. Today is Valentine's Day, a foreign holiday, but it is also a decent holiday in China. It seems that young people especially like this kind of foreign festivals, which are especially romantic and relaxed, and can reflect the flavor of the times. Perhaps it is the economic globalization and the continuous infiltration of world cultural traditions after the reform and opening up, and the new generation of young people are particularly easy to accept new things and new cultures. Perhaps the above-mentioned discussion on whether the foreign festivals are named "foreign" or "country" can return to the debate on whether the market economy is named "zi" or "she". The former is the difference between festivals and social phenomena, while the latter is the application of social and economic laws. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day and other foreign festivals, you don't have to care about the surname "foreign". The key is whether you agree with this kind of cultural leisure and experience. Valentine's Day has profound traditional connotations. If we can also understand and express some internal qualities and thoughts of festivals during the holidays, it will be a rich social activity and life.

There are many ways to measure whether the weather is hot or not, such as thermometers, and of course people's clothes, including the temperature you feel. There are standardized scientific measurements, conclusions based on visual information combined with experience, and conclusions based on sensory information combined with experience. These are all ways to understand everything or phenomena around us from different levels. Similarly, the differences between Chinese and western cultures can also be analyzed from multiple dimensions. Judging from people's thinking concepts, rules and regulations, people's attitudes and methods in handling things, and festivals that carry culture, western countries are all young countries with a short history of civilization, but their modernization process is completed in a very short time. Therefore, western culture pays more attention to a sense of democracy, freedom, rights, responsibilities, obligations and enjoyment, and of course it also includes China's traditional culture dominated by Confucianism, such as benevolence and benevolence. According to the theoretical framework that historical materialism and social existence determine social consciousness, it is not difficult to find out why the main traditional festivals in China and the West have different connotations and atmospheres, and why some foreign festivals are increasingly entering the minds of ordinary people in China, especially the younger generation, and finally gaining recognition and welcome from everyone, thus gradually integrating into the traditional cultural team in China.

Under the background of market economy and reform and opening-up, society has undergone drastic changes, and foreign cultural thoughts have also flooded into China with the economic tide. With the sustained development of the national economy and the continuous improvement of living standards, people's pursuit of demand tends to be more modern and fashionable. General material needs have long been history textbooks, while spiritual needs tend to be irrational imitation and pursuit. Without the guidance of spiritual values, it is easy for the economy to make great strides towards impetuous and utilitarian track, which is a dangerous factor under the cover of a strong festive atmosphere, and some feelings are getting worse. Therefore, while pursuing the cheerful and romantic atmosphere of western festivals, we should grasp the understanding of the quality of the festivals themselves, and at the same time strengthen the remolding and understanding of traditional festivals in China.