The most classic one-sentence jokes

1, snoring thunder bugs, sound like ears; big things, small things, happy things, things care; quiet peace of mind normal heart, every day happy; sunny day rainy day rainy day, happy every day!

2, wallet drum up, body beautiful up, eyes big up, appearance playful up, life broad up, handsome and beautiful women with up, you and I smile move up, we go out high up. Wish you all smooth up later!

3, a funeral manager to go on a blind date, the girl asked about their work. Men said: my work is the most sacred. Specialized in sending people to the most happy place. Girl: playground? Men: heaven.

4, nowadays cockroaches are too rampant, spreading germs spoil food; 36 carefully considered, the beauty of the strategy for the top; first brewing emotions, it ambiguously called: Zhang Lang! It must be happy to pass out, you take the opportunity to pinch off its belly!

5, the volleyball court north and south sides played in full swing, an outside observer shouted: Go South! South refueling! A fat girl is not convinced, loudly called: women's refueling! Women go!

6, "son of a bitch" origin: "son of a bitch" was "forget the eight end". Ancient "eight end" refers to "filial piety, fraternal duty, loyalty, faith, propriety, righteousness, integrity, shame", is the root of the person. Forgetting the "eight ends" is forgetting the root of being a human being.

7, send a text message will steal things, steal your worries, steal your sorrow, steal your loss, steal everything that affects your happiness, so that you become a poor only happy poor!

8, magpies flew in, the mother told the child this is a happy bird is a guest, swallows flew in, the mother said this is a beneficial bird is a guest, crows flew in, the child asked you are my guests? The crow said, I am a hacker.

9, don't think I'm mangy, broken pots have broken pot cover; don't think I'm ugly, ugly ghosts have their own ugly style; as long as we can love each other, cow dung washed and mixed with parsley, as long as you marry into my family, chaff into a fat boy, hemp flashing radiance.

10, male: you're really good you're really good can you become my treasure, female: I do not want to I do not want to do not you a short squat cannon. Male: angry bad angry bad angry easy to get old, female: dead skin is not good dead skin is not good dead skin counting birds.

11, every day I buried my head into your arms, hands on your chest, ears close to your heart, my dreams from your nearest, my snoring you hear the most clear, you let me lie easy, lying peace, I love you ah pillow!

12, can't sleep, let's talk about some heavy topics, such as your weight, oh! This is also too heavy, not very good, chat a little superficial it, such as your IQ! By the way, fortunately you are heavy before the rise in meat prices, you appreciate the space greatly oh! Good night.

13, the cause of global warming: parents are too spoiled children, the formation of the greenhouse effect. The network information is developed, hot focus endless. Various types of enthusiasts strange, fancy, high fever persists!

14, the third day of military training, standing posture when a student bowed his head, the instructor roared at him: "What to look down, the ground money ah!" Only to see that the students silently picked up a piece of coin from the ground, the whole team a moment of silence, and then burst out laughing. Wish the students of military training happy and happy.?

15, we have to do a smart workaholic, for the work regardless of labor - the boss at the time; on the work as crazy - the boss to see the time; times to take care of the body - the boss to go away. -When the boss is far away. Do smart workaholic together!

16, today I entered your space, saw your recent photos, or so handsome, the melancholy eyes, sighing beard, God's miracle with, are y fascinated me - ah, into the Cialis space.?

17, Nongben amorous male, now twenty-three years old, after graduating from college, so far at home idle. Dad is a positive regiment, mom is deputy county, food and clothing all worry, not afraid to spend money. I'd like to find a wife who will be happy to accompany me to the lonely, door-to-door, and household-to-household, **** degree of happiness years.

18, love you no reason, is to love you, a big kiss, unchanged my love, God is very comfortable? If you look down: look back at the first five sentences, the second word of each sentence, linked up to read a read, read you God stabilized, I will count you hard.?

19, the snow festival to remind me of all my friends, "pig" intention to prevent cold and keep warm. Every pig a care text message, never fall through. I would rather send a thousand wrong, never let go of one. The first time I saw this, I was able to see the whole world, and I was able to see the whole world, and I was able to see the whole world.

20, dear, I want to thank God to give you to me, in my mood when I am down, you will send me warm; in my mood when I am irritable, you can send a trace of coolness; life on the road, with your company, this life has no regrets-drinking fountain!

21, a cannibalistic small country king sitting in the airplane, the stewardess asked for lunch: steak? The king shook his head. And then asked: chicken fillet? The king still shook his head. Stewardess: What exactly do you want to eat? King: Please take the passenger list to show me.

22, the recent weather irritability, work efficiency plummeted, cooling necessary to eliminate the summer heat, the leadership care to; in order to ensure that the efficiency of the summer heat fee to claim, this really can not be less, to appease the people's hearts and minds of the miraculous effect. I'm looking forward to the arrival of the summer vacation fee!

23, the kindergarten two little boys in the quarrel. One of them yelled: I go back to ask my father to beat your father's head. The other child laughed: he just can't hit it! My mom always says my dad has no head at all!

24, are talking about stupid people have stupid blessings, especially see stupid Guo Jing led to beautiful Huang Rong's hand, I am more convinced, but I am stupid for so long, have not waited for the blessing and Rong sister. Alas! White stupid a, but I can not be smart!

25, money can not buy "happy moments", money can not buy "time", money can not buy "friends", I must help you spend it, please I eat "egg fried rice" in addition, I have to add a "canned fish".

26, in every important junction of your life, there is always an important SMS waiting for you! Now this text message is in front of you, do not hesitate to quickly invite the person who texted you to dinner! Waiting for you oh!

27, the crab pleaded with the director to make himself red. Director: you want to be red you have to be "fried"! Crab: well, you give me fried the more red the better. Director: come to the people to take the pot to, today to improve food, noon to eat onion ginger fried crab!

28, today I plum open two, want to find a bunch of good wife, although there are ten thousand, but so far the light pole a set. Because the feelings have been fear, so the new wife should be polite, kind-hearted people simple, more to the wind and rain with the degree of.......

This is the first time in the world that I've seen a lot of people in the world.

29, brain teasers: Dale to participate in the song club, to a female singer to offer flowers, why was scolded perverted? It's not that Dale is too ugly, it's not that Dale is moving his hands and feet, but Dale is offering: popcorn!

30, left to see, right to see, look up, look down, light want to see you but do not see; left turn over, right turn over, turn over, turn over, look for you to find the eyes of the anxious crazy; at this moment is very miss, forget to bring you difficult to facilitate - toilet paper!

31, safflower, memories of the past; good cry, once the memory; bird's nest, can not erase the handwriting, the pond, the water's edge play. Hide-and-seek, jumping lattice, race gyro, rolling iron ring, playing Yuanbao, joyful and playful together, me and you.

32, athletes: I always kick the ball away from the goal, this is why? Coach: This is because you kick at the door. If you kicked elsewhere, it would be possible for the ball to go into the goal.?

33, you're as light as the wind, you're as gentle as water, you're as romantic as the moon, you're as passionate as the sun, you're as robust as an ox, you're as forgiving as the sea, in short, in a word: there's no place for you to be like a human being!

34, my love is miserable, really. When chasing girlfriend, I believe that the heart has a little bit of a connection, I point a little bit, the results were violently beaten a pass; I believe that one step back to the sea and the sky, I retreated one step, the result is that the people go empty.?

35, your plump and sexy body is always in my mind lingering, you laugh at the mark always let me carved in my bones unforgettable, once a year to get together why so short, my dear Halloween pumpkin lights.

36, the census interpretation of the demographic state of the country: the 70s, more people, more power; 80s, more people, more good things; 90s, more people, more popularity; 00s, rich in human resources; 10s, strong human capital!

37, in order to drive away the bad luck of Japan every year held a "naked festival" activities, it can be seen that a person running naked is crazy, a group of people running naked into the festival, a group of people and then adhere to the naked run for thousands of years, it has become a traditional culture.

38, make money bitter, make money tired, make money and labor; spend money bitter, spend money tired, spend money and save money to come, not as fast as grab grab. The money grabbing good, grab money wonderful, grab money can also sit in jail. It is better to earn wages safely and securely. Today you earned it?

39, the World Expo welcome language - Confucius version: there are friends from various countries to come, the World Expo greetings; countries pavilions, there must be its characteristics, choose the most strange and watch, and its not strange and go; the camera clicks, commemorating the memory of the long survive survive?

40, Wednesday is here, get rid of tired Wednesday, life has a new start, relief from the fall Wednesday, husband and wife harmony than honey sweet. Do not indulge in the day of exhaustion, think about working hard after a pile of money and a kiss at home with his wife, but also tired? Work hard!

41, solemnly declare: I will be on your emotional attack, please be prepared to defend yourself, you are a little careless, I will capture your heart, have your body, so that you for me to have children and grandchildren.

42, a boy went to the bath on the way to meet a girl in the same class, think should say hello, but there seems to be nothing to say, but out of a sentence: bathhouse more people?

43, the fog is not fog, flowers are not flowers, friends for you to offer flowers: a large hemp flowers, pressure to hang flowers; a bowl of tofu flowers, eat heart flowers; a bundle of fireworks, see the eyes flowers; a little spark flower, you fried into popcorn!

44, Mandarin test, please read aloud the following sentence with feeling: the shore is green, the shore is a big spring green, the shore is copy and no emperor big spring green! I don't know how to read it? Then you are really a big dumb ass; read the standard? Then congratulations, super invincible big stupid ass!

45, the National Day you go to play, wearing black pants in the roadside call for a car: you: Hello, I call the car. Driver: where? You: Xujiahui. Driver: wearing what clothes? You: black pants. Driver: to where? You: to the knee!

46, live well, the day more and more red hot; do not climb, do not compare, do not gas themselves; less salt, more vinegar, less mahjong more walks; sleep on time, get up on time, running and dancing health; wish you health!

47, A: you like hair greasy obese woman? B: do not like! A: flat nose and small eyes? B: also do not like! A: full mouth bad breath? B: I don't like it! A: Why do you seduce my wife?

48, the national football joke: national football welcome you, with the net leftover ball touched you, you fish enough points, we come out, national football welcome you, meet China is blessed, the amateur team can be promoted.

49, a female centipede questioned her boyfriend why it took so long to pick up her phone, the male centipede was very aggrieved, said: at that time, I was very excited, I do not know that I should use that one hand to press the answer button.

50, because of the high degree of dedication to love, you have been successfully selected to "die to love" cup of the top ten saint of love, please rely on this text message, bring your lover (limited to one person) to attend the September 12, "to love" award ceremony, shall not be absent!

51, dating half an hour, 1 minute scratching his head 2 minutes picking his nose, 3 minutes wandering 4 minutes to see the ground, 5 minutes to shake his feet 6 minutes cell phone, 7 minutes to stare at 8 minutes to gamble! 31 minutes to get it done, rushed to the scene 1 minute overtime, running to get it done!

52, I am a good farmer, twenty seven years old, since childhood filial piety is good, the bosom of the knowledge of the sages, but the sky is not beautiful, for years to catch up with the wall, and now my father has an order to let me become a family to marry, if you have the eyes of the best, you can get together to contact. I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say.

53, the wonderful use of the hand: meet beckon; meet handshake; General Assembly clap hands; voting hands; fight for power out of the hand; seize the benefits of the hand; touting the hand; push the blame fake hand; spend money on the hand; see the difficult sleeve hand; dancing hand; respectively, waving hand; to solve the scattering of the hand?

54, I hold the horse, you pick the burden, I walk in front, you look behind, I eat fruit, you complain, I look at your helpless face to give you a, you eat while smiling open face, you said: Monkey, this fruit is really delicious!

55, take the car out, traveling to the way suddenly broke down, the driver told everyone, can wait for the next shift vehicle transfer. An old woman in the countryside when she got off the side of the walk and chanting: this day is really hot, even the car can not stand, you see, even the work is not dry, it is not as good as the livestock I raised ah?

56, what is the most painful in the world? Radiation came, salt is gone; the world's most most painful is what? Radiation came, salt is not good; the world's most most painful is what? What is the most painful thing in the world? People died, the salt did not use up.?

57, girls: send her 999 flowers - touched; take the onion to her cut - mischief; help her blow the sand in her eyes - to save her; take her to see a meteor shower - eyes too sour; when she nestled in your arms to let you comfort ... ...to shed tears...?

58, raffle tickets printed with animal patterns that is winning, someone unwrapped one, shouted: I am a donkey! Next to a person repeatedly touched not hit, exasperated, said: shout what? The animal is a prize!

59, an escaped fugitive was captured back, the police asked: Why do you want to escape? Answer: because the food is too bad. Also asked: then you are using what tools to pry open the iron door of the prison? Answer: the morning doughnut.?

60, the ants said to the bees: you're a cheapskate! A stomach of sweet words, but can not afford to speak to me, ignore you! The bee said: you are petty! The head so big two antennae, but also do not want to send me a text message!

61, six people in the dormitory to discuss whether there is really pure friendship between men and women. A brother's heart, in order to take the opportunity to promote feelings, so the text message to the long desired MM to seek solutions, a few moments later received a letter back: there is wow, like you and me.

62, may life be comfortable, love sweet, joy day and night, happy all the time, happiness for a long time. Don't be sentimental! I am talking to myself. Of course, I'm good you will also be good, everyone is really good!

63, since said break up, why don't you let go, time can not be retained, we used to be beautiful stay, don't pretend to be strong, don't continue to show off, this kind of extra care, please don't give me, fat, you leave it.?

64, funny car window notice: 1 new car on the road, there are killers inside. 2 female driver + grinding + first time = female devil. 3 novice hand tide, the more urged the more face. 4 brake throttle can not be distinguished, are good! 5 love me to chase me, don't kiss me afraid to shy!

65, there was a Baba suitable love swing when I was the door, the old man did not Zhang matter him, if God gave me a chance to pull two fire, I would say, little sister, play a friend clam!

66, Harmonious quotes: youth is gone, I wish it a happy journey; the Monkey King is fickle, (next88) so doomed to be single; geeks will never experience the feeling of homesickness; Bull B when such as Steve Jobs: brush my card before life, brush my screen after death!

67, a pair of ducks to the river to play, see the riverbank cave frog couple in hibernation. Male duck: look, how happy. Mother duck on the male duck: do not look, is a big boss, live in the villa, honeymoon, we will never think of this life!

68, the animal apocalypse: shrimp: the day of great red, is the time of great sorrow. Turtle: can stretch and bend, can not be strong out of the head. Spiders: can sit back and enjoy the success, relying on that web of relations. Crab: rampage, will eventually foam at the mouth!

69, want to be happy, to be dashing; want to be healthy, to rules and regulations; want to be happy, to be real; want to be successful, to be down-to-earth; want to have, to be diligent; want to me, be like me texting!

70, this era, really strange, superwoman have another posture; this era, the lack of true love, philandering carrot everyone loves; this era, change is too fast, the mind is very helpless.

71, mother-in-law has a patriarchal thinking, she said: while you are still young, and then give me a grandson. I am very angry, just want to open his mouth to refute, just listen to only four-year-old daughter snatched answer to: grandmother, I give you birth, I am younger than mom.

72, pro, you like this text message, pro? If you like, remember to reply to give a favorable comment oh, pro! If you reply to me now, you can still come to my house to borrow salt when you don't have salt! I'm not going to be able to do that! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products in the world.

73, the levy handsome pot: Auntie me beauty like heavenly fairy Sai Feng sister, hands and feet drop saliva, dreaming of finding you kicked over the bed, coy eating spread a table, a smile dumped Sharp brother, an urgent bad smashed a pot, in order to seek the handsome pot to SMS.

74, living is tired! Get in the car to line up, unrequited love really suffer, eat no flavor, drink easy to get drunk, go to work especially tired, robbery will not, earn money to pay taxes, 528, I love to send, but I hope everyone will send!

75, want to grow taller, I teach you a method! Find a wall, a few steps back, with the head on the wall a few times, five minutes to measure height, there will be a surprise Oh! Remember, the more fierce hit, the greater the surprise, general people I do not tell him.

76, A: so many days have not met, you busy what? B: sleep at home, ah, recently always insomnia, 12 hours to wake up, A: then you have to go check check, I'm better than you, 23 hours to wake up, but always feel groggy, or did not sleep well ah!

77, the first time I watched TV grandmother after watching the 100-meter race exclaimed: really scary! Several coal digging kneeling in a row, a gun to shoot them without aiming to shoot, the children were scared that run ah! Also stopped by the rope!

78, I was a saltless woman, neither the world talent, nor the appearance of the city, only pig art, the family has three rooms, want to recruit a son-in-law, non-sincerity please do not disturb, pig masters to, **** the pig to raise!

79, summer heat, text message to bring you cool infinite, send you a cup of Nongfushanquan, a little sweet (Nongfushanquan), a cup of coffee, to solve your heart, people outside of people, outside of the sky (Redtag Group), your friends in your back for you to shake the fan, how about it, cool, right?

80, now this society is too complex, I have asked the peace to you as a bodyguard, health as a shield, good luck as a helper, happy as a companion, success as a backup, smooth as a striker, you can rest assured to go to the bar!

81, A: All into my head, I will not forget. B: that two months ago, I borrowed you 20 dollars, how do you forget? A: Because that money into my pocket, not into the head!

82, the mall promotions, advertisements "buy a refrigerator, send air conditioning," someone to buy a good refrigerator, waiting for the mall to give away the air conditioning, the mall staff spoke: "Mr., your air conditioning where? We can send it back to you!" ? It's better to save every penny. I wish you unlimited money in the future!

84, in the railroad next to the large but did not bring paper, do not worry, the train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! In the river on the big but no paper, do not worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

85, looking for a secret agent: this person is a slanting gas two-sleeved crooked wind toward the three twilight four five tone incomplete six God is not in charge of the seven mouths and eight tongues of the nine fingers of the God beggar is very much like you, such as to find this person, laugh three times as a joint code, can cure the extreme depression of the disease.

86, I use "vacuum cleaner", suck away all your dust, I use "*** chair", take away all your sleepiness, I use "footbath", wash away your fatigue of the day. I use "foot bath" to wash away your fatigue of the day. I wish you happiness every day!

87, after the military training, the handsome man became a civil servant male, the beauty became a cleaner. Adam did not recognize Eve, the weaver has not seen the cowherd. Love, life, career from here, look forward to everyone set sail, *** create the future sky!

88, A Ju Ju to take the exam, mom asked A Ju book finished? A huge said: "I finished." The next day, his mother saw the A Ju Ju failed the paper was furious, "you read the book why test so bad!" A-jui: "Mom, what I said the other day. I read and finished." ?

89, I just participated in the minority water splashing festival back to the activities of some people suddenly yelled: Ali Lobi like, annoyed Splash me, playbook to come! The tour guide explained the splash of water to express the blessing of tourists yelled to: book that you when I Hong Kong degrees ah, Lol than like with the opening of the Si!

90, the wolf: little brat, this year you wind up, I can be miserable, in order to protect you, the hunters have increased the effort to kill me. Rabbit: then you have to be careful, this year I will also be powerful, be careful I bite your mouth into a hare lip.

91, don't go to work, it's too hard! Do tofu, do tofu is the safest. Do hard is dried bean curd; do thin, is bean curd brain; do not have is soybean milk; in case you can not sell, shelves stink, but also as stinky tofu. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for it.

92, a porridge and a meal, when thinking about the hard work. A needle and a thread, when thinking about the difficult material resources. Affluence is not equal to waste, well-off is not equal to luxury, simple and plain life, is not equal to unhappy. Simple is the trend, thrifty and fashionable.

93, "Cao Cao" with "killers" traveled to the "1,000 years later", found that this is a "perfect new world", in the "street" to buy "soybean milk doughnuts" to continue to look for an enemy called the "second heaven"!

94, high school and a friend to eat lunch near the school, he ordered a bowl of lasagna, another friend was drinking Coke, and then I do not know who told a joke, the person who drank the Coke choked with laughter, Coke dripped out of the nose. The friend laughed at someone else's embarrassing situation, who knew a lasagna jetted out of his nose!

95, the magical weight-loss drug: the drug is mild, without any side effects, every two hours to serve a grain, daily service of 12 grains, fasting service, a month of treatment, the drug to the fat, January slimming, ineffective refunds?