2 People Funny Skit Script

1 Qi Zhi Hou Yaohua's "Father and Son" is very interesting

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Hou: told everyone I have a belly full of pain, people said: you still have unhappy things? You don't know, nowadays it's easy to deal with the adults, but it's the kids who are in a hurry.

You said that when we were young, adults paid the tuition fees and knew that we would go to school, but now this child, the whole thing is that we are hiring someone to go to school for us. Look at our child, just ten years old this year, I do not know how many nutritional drugs. He's just ten years old, and now he's as tall as me. People say: if I shave my beard, it's him, if he grows a beard, it's me. IQ is not bad, IQ, sometimes ah, occasionally the teacher also praised a time. The other day, the teacher said, let's take a word ah, tell a story. We just learned "Waiting for a lifetime", and our kid told us this great story. Our kids told us about a monkey juggler who was trained to make money with this monkey every day. But one day the monkey got loose and ran away. He searched for the monkey all over the world, but he couldn't find it. Finally, he lost it somewhere, and got a stool and waited there. They said, "Don't look for it, let's get a smaller one to train. But it didn't work. People with knowledge said: as long as you have set a goal in life, you will be here silently "waiting for the monkey for a lifetime". Teachers applauded and praised our kids. A child prodigy! They say our child is a prodigy. I am the father of the child, and they call me Father.

Our children were dismissed from school at 12:00 noon and did not return home at 12:30 p.m. At night, they let their teachers keep them until after 9:00 p.m. to come back. The teacher keeps them until after 9:00 p.m. at night.

(Qizhi on the stage)

Hou: back?

Qi: Hmph.

Hou: Look at our boy. This prodigy of ours is back. Come here. Over over over over over.

Qi: not hit me?

Hou: I do not hit you, do not hit you, this is not 2006? Let's change the statute, persuade and educate, come on, come on, forward forward, you see this look! You know what time it is?

Qi: I know

Hou: Why are you late again?

Qi: I made a mistake

Hou: No, you didn't pay attention in class?

Qi: No

Hou: didn't finish your homework?

Qi: No

Hou: fighting with classmates again?

Qi: No

Hou: Then why?

Qi: I just made a little mistake

Hou: A little mistake, what? What?

Qi: After I got out of class, I organized a few students and detained the teacher in the classroom. I had to ask him, blah blah blah I was the bottom of the class.

Hou: this I'm not fighting for our children, this we're not fighting for our children, our children know progress, he knows to ask the teacher, why we are the bottom one.

Talk to the guys, why are we the bottom one?

Qi: The teacher said, last semester exams, the bottom of the first, this year he transferred.

Hou: the problem is that this is a parent-teacher conference, I did not go to the parent-teacher conference to go, how he will be in trouble

Qi: you can not open the parent-teacher conference

Hou: how can I? I'm your father, why can't I have a parent-teacher conference?

Qi: According to it, you have a parent-teacher conference around the neighbors have opinions

Hou: What opinions?

Qi: After returning, it will be the middle of the night howling wolves, mixed doubles, the whole Haidian District can be heard, the neighbors call 110 that our home in the middle of the night chicken screaming

Hou: that I'm not for your sake? Besides, hey, that parent-teacher conference I did not go, who went?

Qi: I'm afraid you're too busy working

Hou: know a little filial piety

Qi: I spent fifty dollars to the labor market to hire a substitute child.

Hou: I'm wondering if there are any others in the labor market that look like me.

Qi: Hey, hey, hey, hey, dad, our classmates have said, you look like this good to find.

Hou: What?

Qi: The orangutan in the zoo plucked the hair is you!

Hou: Good! Let's not talk about today, let's talk about yesterday, why did the teacher leave you behind yesterday?

Qi: Yesterday the teacher asked me to fill out a form.

Hou: Yes, he asked for your age.

Ki: Uh-huh.

Hou: How are you? This little smart you have all, fill out a form, he will not fill out, will not fill out. Age do not know, what's going on, say!

Qi: This can blame me?

Hou: how not to blame you ah? I don't know how old you are?

Qi: blame me? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Every time you take me to the sauna, you tell people I'm eight years old.

Hou: Yes, no charge under eight!

Qi: Then I go to the nightclub, how do you say I seventeen?

Hou: Nonsense, a sign at the door you do not see ah? Under sixteen years old can not enter the nightclub. The problem is that the teacher asked you how old you are, you have to tell the truth ah.

Qi: I was honest. I said, "Teacher, are you asking me how old I am to enter a nightclub or to take a sauna? I was eight years old when I washed the sauna, and I was seventeen when I went into the nightclub!

Hou: Then you tell the guys, yesterday, why the teacher left you behind.

Qi: Yesterday, the teacher asked a question,

Hou: Yes, ask a question, ask a question,

Qi: Do you think you can ask this question?

Hou: What?

Qi: He asked who the two key players in the Xi'an Incident were.

Hou: What did you say?

Qi: I said Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok. Another hit

Hou: shameless, in front of all these people and still say so, that the Xi'an Incident two important figures, that is Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok?

Qi: Then you say who?

Hou: a Hou Yaowen, a Shi Fuquan.

Qi: I said dad hey, our teacher said, like father, like son.

Hou: That's a compliment to me?

Qi: Compliment you which what Hou Yaowen Shi Fu Kuan, the other teacher said is Yang Hucheng, Zhang Xueliang.

Hou: are those two people? I didn't get it, then you talk to the guys, the other teachers let you make a sentence, that the truth is clear how do you make it? You said

Qi: I'm not right, you have to say

Hou: how do you, you say, you talk to the guys, you let the guys to the referee referee, I'm going to be wrong, I'm going to give you a review later

Qi: I'm just going to say that the truth is great to make a sentence, I'm going to say that we are next door to the white uncle, there are two sons, called the big white and the small white, and one day we saw the small white, and we all said in one voice: "You look like a big white ah"

Qi: and hit

Hou: shameless you. You see my little money spent.

Qi: old hit.

Hou: you don't say, so it can't be, sometimes it's not good enough to write an essay or something

Qi: good enough? The teacher said fail

Hou: write a holiday you can not write ah?

Qi: failed!

Hou: you say this holiday you have a lot of content, let's say, yes, I think of this I am angry, and also to go to this bar, I met you there three times a week

Qi: not right

Hou: how?

Q: I saw you 4 times.

Hou: Maybe that's because I'm a little drunk

Qi: I'll just write about the holiday, I went to the bar ah,

Hou: I'm not telling you the problem? This bar, you do not write bar, you write bar that teacher can let you pass? You give it the bar to change the book bar.

Qi: is written into a book bar, or give me a failing grade.

Hou: just read it to the guys

Qi: I said: Holiday I came to the book bar.

Hou: How nice

Qi: I first even dry three books, and I feel not too much, the rest of the book I swept down.

Hou: And then?

Chi: Just at this critical moment, I saw my dad come up to me, and he was holding the wall and swaying and he said to me, man, this house is shaking, it's kind of an earthquake, right? I said to him, "Dude, that looks familiar.

Hou: I see him also recognize

Qi: This is not an earthquake,

Hou: This is?

Qi: This is a tsunami,

Hou: It does not matter, let's continue to read

Qi: continue to read

Hou: crab a ah

Qi: claws eight, two pointed ah, so big man.

Qi: hit again

Hou: shameless.

Hou: you say I spend these two money, this is a child? The day shy face also told me: Dad I can do poetry

Qi: Yes, I can do poetry.

Hou: you do poetry, rely on who ah, rely on you ah, that is also by my influence

Hou: some days ago, I came to a friend in Henan, after the end of the later, I am afraid that people can not find me, at home I left him a line, I wrote a poem of the Tang Dynasty: Luoyang friends such as ask, say I am in the Donglaishun. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to find the best way to do this, but I'm sure you'll be able to find the best way to do it.

I wrote a poem called, in my heart

Hou: good,

Qi: I recite

Hou: recite

Hou: while understanding

Qi: ah!

Hou: Wait a minute, this ah, is to write good poetry all with "ah", the first "ah", after how all smooth. The first one is "ah", then the second one is smooth! In my heart

Hou: Good

Qi: Dad is the most fierce

Hou: Nonsense, that is the real father.

Qi: no knowledge, do not pretend to understand

Hou: I was not poor when I was a child?

Qi: flunked the exams, beat people bruised and swollen.

Hou: I hate it.

Qi: I have a good wish

Hou: say it

Qi: every day to study well, never stop

Hou: good!

Qi: change father, okay?

Hou: Yes.

Qi: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

2 Qi Zhi Dabing's "Challenge Host"

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