What are the differences between Chinese and foreign gift-giving cultures?

There's an old saying in China that it's impolite to come and not to be rude. You invite me to dinner, I invite you to dinner. You gave me a present.

I will return the gift to you next time. I gave you a gift, but you didn't return it. I won't give it again next time. I visited a French family while I was away, and I remember that I didn't bring a gift on the way. Considering the traffic jam, I have to go home empty-handed, but I know it's a bit rude. However, it was my turn to invite him to dinner with other friends, and he was the same, with no gift. This is the principle of reciprocity.

However, there are still great differences between eastern and western cultures in gift-giving behavior. The first is the difference in the concept of gifts. People in China tend to pay attention to the real meaning of gifts, that is, practical value, and don't like things that look useless. I think this is mainly because China has been plagued by population pressure for thousands of years, lacking resources, and social productivity has been circulating at a low level. So pay special attention to material life and practicality. Gifts for newlyweds used to be quilts, sheets, tablecloths, etc. And beautifully packaged small clothes are often used to celebrate a newborn's birthday or catch up with a week, all of which are very affordable. But modern people are more open-minded, and there are too many quilts, sheets or small clothes to handle. Therefore, it is more and more practical to simply give money and buy whatever you want.

Even when giving cultural and elegant gifts, China people attach great importance to their practical value. For example, China people often don't care whether the other party appreciates it or not, but what they care about is the collection value of calligraphy and painting and stamp products. When you send greeting cards in the New Year, you often choose postcards with prizes, and maybe the other party will win the prize. You can also send insurance cards during the Spring Festival. Greeting cards and insurance cards are both cards, but they have different practical meanings. Now that living conditions have reached a higher level, middle-class families have everything they need. If the gift is given by mistake or repeatedly, it will be counterproductive. So, just send a shopping card and buy whatever you lack.

Even foreign affairs gifts are often customized according to the practical standards of China people, such as watches, belts, handbags, wallets, shirts, T-shirts and so on. Because these units should consider that the recipients are not only foreigners, but also people from China when customizing foreign affairs gifts.

China people pay attention to the practical value of gifts and the degree of price tag. When we go abroad, we buy presents for people. Shopkeepers or clerks in foreign stores often tear off the price tag, but China people just hope that this price tag can let people see the actual value of gifts. We sometimes buy goods at home at reduced prices and discounts, and then give them away. We also specially asked the store to leave the original price tag or open a small ticket at the original price, just to make the recipient feel sincere and send such an expensive gift. The original price of some goods is simply sky-high, and the giver knows that the recipient will not believe it, so he should keep the original price tag.

Southeast Asian countries, such as Thailand and Malaysia, are deeply influenced by China culture and often pay attention to the practical value of gifts, especially for China people. People in charge of Thai affairs basically don't need to buy T-shirts, almost all of them are sent by Thais.

Westerners often pay attention to the commemorative value of gifts. To be exact, China people give gifts and Westerners give souvenirs. When invited to visit a western family, you can send a bouquet of flowers to the hostess and a bottle of wine to the host.

Greeting guests at airports and railway stations, or visiting patients in hospitals, and sending a bouquet of flowers, regardless of the size of the bouquet, are natural and warm. Similarly, when you entertain westerners, don't expect them to give you any expensive gifts. Most likely, it is local wine or other cheap but unforgettable handicrafts.

. When they travel abroad, they often buy some postcards and sometimes send some chocolates to their office colleagues or relatives and friends when they come back. Therefore, what westerners pay attention to is not the weight or price of the gift, but the commemorative significance of the gift. There is an old saying in China that goose feathers are sent thousands of miles away. The gift-giving habits of westerners truly embody this principle.

Secondly, Chinese and western cultures also show great differences in the purpose of giving gifts. People in China often give gifts with a strong purpose. Gifts from China are usually given before asking others for help. In the past, you must have something to ask when you took a few bottles of wine to someone's house. When asking for help from others, gifts are sometimes given in advance, so that things can be done more smoothly. When traveling abroad, whenever we encounter overweight luggage at the airport, we often send a small gift to the clerk at the counter in advance, hoping that the other party can show mercy. These methods are very useful in many third world countries and some western countries, aiming at expressing gratitude after receiving help or benefit, or increasing the weight of asking for help.

Westerners pay attention to the act of giving gifts and the symbolic meaning of gifts. Their gifts are generally not expensive, and they are usually given after getting help to express sincere gratitude. Once, I received Americans in China and stayed with them for a few days. Before they left the country, they gave me a ballpoint pen with the American flag on it. According to the values of China people, this is to send beggars away, because I have worked hard for several days after all. However, a small ballpoint pen is not expensive. Once the American flag is printed, it has a special symbolic significance and the publicity effect is self-evident. However, I have met some drivers who drive for foreign delegations. In order to prove that he is not a beggar, he left a small souvenir on the spot.

Besides, when accepting gifts, China people and westerners have completely different reactions. In China, people usually look unhappy when they accept gifts, and they don't open them themselves. They think it is very impolite to do so, and it will give people the impression that they are greedy for money or care too much about the gifts they accept. It is often after the guests leave, or after returning home, that they quietly open the gifts.

Although there is such a big cultural difference between China and the West in gift-giving, it does not mean that western culture is necessarily superior to China culture, nor can it be said that China culture shows hypocrisy, while western culture shows frankness.

First of all, any habit, as long as it becomes a kind of etiquette, will have some hypocrisy, or on the other hand, it is a sign of goodwill. Some Americans say hello to everyone: Hi, how are you? It makes you feel enthusiastic. In fact, maybe he just pretended not to see you, or maybe he didn't want to talk to you at all. Even so, etiquette tells him to act as if he knows you well. China people say hello, a simple hello, can't explain the indifference of Chinese people, but only the pragmatic attitude and simple style of China people.

Similarly, when a westerner opens a gift from someone to his face, he sighs that he may not care about your gift, but politely tells him that he should express his gratitude, or at least show a strong interest on the surface, so as not to hurt the other person's feelings. China waited for the guests to leave, and then quietly opened the gift. First of all, they don't want to give each other the impression of greed. Second, China people generally attach importance to the practical value of gifts. They won't embarrass each other in case the gifts are not practical or repetitive. So etiquette told him not to care too much about gifts. This behavior of China people is actually sending a signal to each other: I'm not interested in whether you give a gift or the weight of the gift. Even if you don't give gifts, you are still welcome, and it won't affect our relationship. However, this signal sometimes needs westerners to understand slowly.

Furthermore, in terms of different behaviors, China people and westerners often have the same psychology, but their external manifestations are different. For example, when giving and receiving gifts, China people and westerners show the same interest in gifts: the giver wants the other person to like his gift, and the receiver is also willing to accept the other person's gift. However, China people often show great self-modesty, and often deliberately devalue their gifts when giving them. Even if the gift given to the other party is expensive, it is not worth mentioning if it is a small gift. It is incomprehensible to westerners to affirm the value of their gifts in the form of negation. They can't understand this circuitous statement, or the positive significance hidden in negation.

When accepting gifts in China, people often refuse and say, Oh, why did you bring gifts? They only accept it after the other party insists on it again, indicating that even if they accept it, it is out of helplessness, accompanied by pleasantries about how to make you spend money or whether you can be so polite next time, and then put the gift aside to show their indifference to the gift, for fear that the other party will think that they are coming to receive other people's gifts. However, as far as the behavior of guests quietly opening gifts after leaving is concerned, it is enough to prove that China people care about receiving gifts, but they just don't show it in person.

On the other hand, westerners are always grateful for the gifts they prepare. They will tell you where you bought it, how many twists and turns you have experienced, or how complicated and difficult the production process is. Anyway, I hope you like it. When accepting a gift, try to show interest in your gift and thank you for your gift-giving behavior.

About our gift-giving culture

There are two interesting things that I have experienced personally:

First, we often give gifts to others. In the past, the economy was not very developed, and I was reluctant to spend money on gifts. If someone else gives a gift, give it directly to a third party. The third party did the same thing and sent it to the fourth person. Sending back and forth, the gift I sent has gone through a long journey and finally returned to my own hands. Sometimes, by the time the gifts are delivered to the last person, the shelf life (such as food) may have passed.

Second, when we give gifts, sometimes we don't consider the mentality and endurance of the recipient. Especially in diplomatic occasions, giving gifts to each other pays attention to reciprocity, but we sometimes forget this unspoken rule.

. Once, a delegation of a certain country visited China. After a gift-giving ceremony, foreign receptionists came to our door, anxious. Because the gifts we gave were of high quality, they didn't prepare such a good gift in return, so they felt humiliated and unequal. Sometimes, it's not that some countries can't get money because of economic underdevelopment, but that they all have budgets, and the budget for gifts is pitiful. Of course, some countries have economic difficulties and are unable to reciprocate.

Gifts and souvenirs are the differences between Chinese and western gift-giving cultures. We don't want to say that the thinking and behavior of one culture is necessarily better than another, but we want to say that the thinking and behavior of any culture are formed under certain geographical environment and historical conditions. The only thing we need to advocate is to explore the reasons for the formation of different cultures and give them the necessary understanding. Because the traditional culture of China believes that the beginning of life is good. People's original intentions are positive and people's hearts are kind. The key is whether you understand the different forms of goodwill taken by different human groups under the long-term influence of different cultures. This is the correct attitude in the face of cultural conflicts.

At the same time, analyzing one's own culture is not a matter of forgetting one's ancestors and worshiping foreign countries. History advances in the exchange and study of different cultures.