Why Chinese people have such a strong sense of family

There is an old Chinese saying that says, "Everything happens in a harmonious family". Although the composition of each family is more or less the same, the life of each family is different. Tolstoy said well, happy families are always similar, unfortunate families have their own misfortune. So, how can we find those similar underlying patterns of happiness? How to make their days a little better?

In fact, what Chinese philosophy values most is the ethical relationship within the family. Mr. Feng Youlan said in "A Brief History of Chinese Philosophy" that ancient Greece was a city-state country, while China was a family-state society. In ancient times, there were the so-called "Four Peoples", or "Shi, Nong, Gong and Shang".

The word "shi" means "scholar", that is, a person who reads books, and "all kinds of things are inferior, but only books are superior", so "shi" is in the first place. The character shape of "Shi" is like a person standing on the ground with his legs together, upright. When a scholar had the ambition to govern the country, he was called "Shidafu" when he was an official; when he was not an official, he was also a "Shi". When he was a scholar, he was called a "scholar"; when he was not a scholar, he was still a "scholar". Therefore, such a person is ranked first.

The second is "agriculture", China is a large farming country, agriculture is the foundation of the country, the so-called "granary solid know etiquette" "people to food for the day", food is enough to determine the stability of society, the people's livelihood. Whether there is enough food determines the stability of the society and the public sentiment. China's tradition is to emphasize agriculture over commerce, with "work" ranking third and "business" ranking last, because the Chinese concept is to praise nature and condemn a lot of man-made craftsmanship, believing that a pure and simple life in accordance with the time of the day is called a good life.

There used to be a plaque on the lintel of many old mansions that said, "A family that cultivates and reads the land is a family that cultivates and reads the land. A family has to cultivate the land to feed the family and make a living; it also has to read books and understand morality and righteousness. Together, what is taught in books and what is taught in labor is the Chinese family state system.

Confucianism teaches that in a patriarchal society, there are five relationships, i.e., between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, brother and friend. Within these five relationships, there are three family relationships: father and son, husband and wife, and brother. In the other two, the relationship between ruler and subject is compared to the relationship between father and son, and the relationship between friends is compared to the relationship between brothers. In other words, the five virtues of the Chinese feudal society for thousands of years, its foundation is the family relationship.

Confucianism and Taoism are the main components of the Chinese philosophical system. In fact, Confucianism and Taoism are also a balanced set, with Confucianism and Taoism complementing each other, and the spirit of Confucianism and the wisdom of Taoism intermingling. Confucianism, represented by Confucius, emphasizes more on name and religion, while Taoism, represented by Laozhuang, emphasizes more on nature; Confucianism emphasizes the responsibility of entering the world, while Taoism emphasizes the freedom of leaving the world. Therefore, there is a balance between entering the world and leaving the world, between society and nature. People should do the things of the world with the heart of the world, with more responsibility and less grudges. This balance of wisdom is probably a good state.

Balance is a relationship, and in today's terms, it is "harmony". Family relationships, amplified, are social relationships. Although the relationship between the ruler and the minister in the Five Harmonies no longer exists, the relationship between father and son, husband and wife, and brother and friend still exist. The family is the core of society and the most basic origin of ethics. To take agriculture as the basis, to take peace as the honor, to take virtue as the honor, to take all these in the ethical relationship as the pivot of the relationship, this is in fact the traditional morality of the Chinese people.

The Chinese society nowadays has a special situation that many families have only one child. More and more financial resources and energy are invested in children's education, and children are acquiring more and more knowledge, but we must not lose the Chinese family's teachings and discipline.

China is a country of etiquette, and etiquette is the most important education. At each stage of one's growth, learning has a different focus. In the Book of Rites - University, it says: "In ancient times, those who wished to make the world bright and virtuous first ruled their country; those who wished to rule their country first united their families; those who wished to unite their families first cultivated their bodies; those who wished to cultivate their bodies first rectified their minds; those who wished to rectify their minds first honored their intentions; those who wished to rectify their intentions first attained their knowledge, and attaining knowledge was in the Gesellschaft." It talks about the eight different stages of life, i.e., to realize things, to gain knowledge, to be sincere, to correct one's mind, to cultivate one's body, to unify one's family, to rule the country, and to pacify the world. The first five stages within these eight stages actually talk about one's cultivation at home.

Why do even farmers study? Why is it that farming and reading can be passed on to the family? Because if you don't read, if you don't have knowledge, how can you understand the world? And how can a person cultivate himself if he has no sincerity and is not able to correct his mind? Without self-cultivation, how can you have a family?

Only when one has done well in the study of material things, in the knowledge of the world, in the sincerity of one's will, in the correctness of one's heart, in the cultivation of one's body, and in the unification of one's family, when one walks out into the society and meets with a good opportunity, then one can go on to realize the ambition of life of ruling the country and pacifying the world. Therefore, there is a Chinese saying, "If you do not clean one room, how can you clean the whole world?" If you can't even clean up the inside of your own home, how can you talk about ruling the country and the world?

The character for "Qi" in the family name, Qi, looks like a seedling spitting up its tassel, which is why the Shuo Wen Jie Zi (说文解字), which is a Chinese character for "grain and wheat spitting up their tassels, is also a pictorial representation of the character." "Qi" means unanimity and neatness. And Qi family of "Qi", is from the farming civilization of a kind of experience, flush with the seedlings look thriving. The family should also talk about the word "Qi", everyone has their own responsibilities, everyone respects the order of the house, and work together.

Today's only child, many of whom were raised in different generations, is being cared for by grandparents and grandparents. Nowadays, children also study hard, at the age of three or four years old to go to all kinds of pre-school; in elementary school, the schoolbag is no longer on the back, but with a small trolley case, pulling a lot of homework home. Elderly people love the next generation, children go to school tube take over to send; after school into the door, there are peeled fruits, there are delicious drinks; hungry, there are timely served up meals, eat the rest of it does not matter, grandparents to help clean up. This is now the norm for many families.

In fact, according to the rules of the Chinese people in the past, the old man did not come to the table, the younger generation is not allowed to move chopsticks first. Nowadays, children eat whatever they want, and the family that eats the rest cleans up the leftovers. Of course, the love of children's feelings can be understood, but from a family, it is not "Qi", because the rules have been broken. Grandparents serve the little emperor and princess who grows up, and who takes care of him when he goes to college and lives in a dormitory? After graduation, enter the community, join the workforce, who will be the center of his stars? Children who have been spoiled since childhood are very prone to develop a huge psychological imbalance when they enter the society, because the pattern of their previous life has been broken. How can a child participate in life with a healthy mindset? We have to go back to the word "Qi" in the Qi family, which means that there should be rules and order in the family.

The "宀" (宀) part of the radical "宀" (宀) is a pictogram, which is interpreted in Shuowen Jiezi (说文解字), as follows This "宀" is a pictogram, which is interpreted by Shuo Wen Jie Zi as "交覆深屋也". Look at this "宝盖", it is a very high and round roof supported by two pillars. There were such houses in the village of Hanpo in the fourth millennium B.C. Moreover, this shape is much earlier than the square house.

Since all things prosper in a family, let's start with the character for "family" and talk about what kind of family concepts are hidden in the Chinese characters for "family" under the Baogai head.

The Shuowen Jiezi says, "Home is where we live." Home is where we live. From the shape of the character, the upper part of the character is Baogai head, and the lower part is a character "豕", which means a small pig is kept in the house. In fact, nowadays, in some ethnic minority areas, you can still see pigs being raised on the ground floor of a hammock. So why do they raise pigs instead of cows and goats? I remember that when I was a child, there was a comedy called "Pigs are full of treasures". Since ancient times, pigs have been livestock with relatively low rearing costs but high returns, and they are also easy to domesticate. Therefore, a family doesn't need to raise very big cows or horses, as long as they can raise pigs, this is a well-off level, and the family will be able to stabilize its life.

From the earliest Chinese character for "family", we can see that the Chinese people's family life was typically characterized by a sense of peace and security rather than a sense of wealth and prosperity. People and animals lived in harmony with each other and could live under the same roof. In the rural areas in the past, the typical picture of many people's homes is that there are two pigs in the pigsty, a few old hens loose in the yard, and the slop after scrubbing pots and washing dishes is used to feed the pigs, which will make you feel a kind of simple warmth.

From the architecture of the past family, there were "halls" and "rooms" in the house. There is a Chinese idiom called "to enter the room", so what is the relationship between the "hall" and the "room"?

"Inside the room outside the hall", Liu Xi of the Eastern Han Dynasty, "interpretation of the name", said: "room, the real is also, the characters are full of them." The "inner room" is someone, something. Chinese people do not like to show their wealth, people in the past are not like people nowadays, go to the Internet to sunshine their luxury cars and mansions, but to live their days to steal their own joy. There are things, wealth and people in the inner room, which is called "real full of them".

Then look at the word "hall", "hall house" is now the living room, formerly called "hall house". There is an adjective called "bright", why should the living room be bright? Because it was a public place, while the "room" was more private. Therefore, the Chinese think that "the outdoor area is the hall and the indoor area is the room", and the distinction is very clear. This "hall" and "room" have always been in the pattern of Chinese life.

There is also the character for "direction" (向), which is very different from the ancient character. Let's take a look at the shape of the ancient character, with a small window opening up underneath the Baogai head, what a great image! The Shuowen Jiezi (Explaining and Analysing Characters) says, "Xiang, the window that opens to the north is also the window." A window that opens to the north is "Xiang". Today we say that a person is so dizzy that he can't find the north, "can't find the north" means that he can't find the direction. Many people are accustomed to setting themselves a variety of goals, but it is easy to ignore the importance of direction. In fact, people in this life, not clearly set each goal can be accurately achieved, the direction is often more important than the goal. With a general direction, and then go to set goals, will be more targeted, more adaptable. People can not lose the direction, this is "to" the word tells us, because it is through the window of the light coming in.

There are some more interesting concepts, such as the word "peace". In the character for "peace," there is a woman underneath the treasure cover. From the shape of the character, it means that if there is a kneeling woman inside the house, the house is "peaceful". And what is "宁"? In simplified Chinese, there is a "丁" underneath the treasure cover, while in traditional Chinese, "宁" means "心皿丁" stacked underneath the treasure cover, which means that a heart must be settled first, and underneath it there is a pile of petri dishes full of food, and underneath it is a large tray. The first thing you need to have is a heart, and underneath it is a pile of dishes filled with food, and underneath that is a big tray holding the food on the pile of dishes and settling the heart, and this is called "ning".

I used to talk to my daughter when she was a little girl, and I said, "Look at the character for "安", and if there's a woman in the house, it's "安". My daughter said, "A man in the house is a "peace". I said, "This is not how the character "宁" was originally interpreted. In its traditional Chinese structure, there is food on top of the "丁", which means "to be at ease". But my daughter said, "I think that's right. If there's a mom in a family, everyone is at peace, and if there's a dad, everyone is at peace. Later, I thought about it and realized that my daughter's statement made sense if you think about it in a simple way. In other words, under the roof of the "family", the most important thing is that there are people, there are people who have peace.