Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Traditional culture - How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law correctly?
How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law correctly?
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law come from two families, grow up in different environments, have different consumption concepts and living habits, and only because of the same man have they become a family living under one roof. Because there is no blood relationship, it is difficult to get close emotionally and it is easy to produce contradictions. Then, as a daughter-in-law, how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and reduce complaints about her mother-in-law?
1, tolerance.
As a mistress, a daughter-in-law may wish to tolerate her mother-in-law and put herself in her mother-in-law's shoes. Her living habits and consumption ideas have their reasons. For example, my mother-in-law is frugal because her poor days have made her know more about the preciousness of things. If you can't get close to her in your heart, you should also be grateful to her on the basis of her hard work and not bringing up her son. She is her husband's mother, and we should have minimum respect for her.
2. Don't expect too much.
A marriage expert once analyzed why the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is so serious. It is because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a blood relationship, but a social relationship. But China people just want to get along with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which leads to high expectations.
The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment. Later, I found that I couldn't meet my own standards, so the contradiction broke out. As a daughter-in-law, we should know that a mother-in-law is a mother-in-law, and it is impossible to tolerate and love us like a mother. In this way, we have less expectations for our mother-in-law and less complaints.
3. Be good at forgetting.
In fact, what happened in the past, especially the harm from my mother-in-law, is hard to really forget. Just don't suffer too long. For mother-in-law, we might as well think more about her kindness to us. For example, helping us take care of our children frees up more time for our work and study, and makes our career develop and progress. Use these "good" to neutralize unhappiness, and unhappiness will be much reduced.
4. Play dumb.
As a daughter-in-law, "playing dumb" in front of her mother-in-law is the overall situation, regardless of right and wrong, but it is not a concession without a bottom line or unprincipled tolerance. As a mother-in-law, it is inevitable that she will not like some of her daughter-in-law's practices and will inevitably nag her daughter-in-law. As long as she is not in front of right and wrong, as a daughter-in-law, she will play dumb, which is also one of the solutions to reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Step 5 act
We often say that someone is a "showman", and it may be that this person is exquisite in all aspects. But as a daughter-in-law, if you want to get along well with your mother-in-law, you need a little "acting". After all, getting along with my mother-in-law is a technical job. Some mothers-in-law always measure and interfere with young people's lives based on their own consumption concepts and living habits, and like to judge their daughters-in-law. Some daughters-in-law are also forced to "act".
6. Be diligent.
Diligent, tight-lipped. Living with her mother-in-law, or visiting her occasionally, the daughter-in-law should do something within her power. Mother-in-law cooks and helps herself. Fighting to wash dishes and sweep the floor after dinner. There is a word in China called "color difficulty", which means that it is the most difficult to treat the elderly with kindness. This requires us to keep our mouths shut, talk to our mother-in-law when we meet, and care about the health of our in-laws.
Some outdated practices for mother-in-law can also be gently pointed out at an appropriate time. We have a good attitude and she is easy to accept. Feelings are often cultivated in this kind of interaction. After a long time, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious and harmonious. Of course, there will be no dissatisfaction and complaints about each other.
It seems that getting along with mother-in-law is really a "technical job"! Because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult in the world, it is also directly related to the atmosphere of a big family, so it is very important to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Only when you are calm can you be peaceful and have no complaints, which is the premise of getting along well. In the process of getting along with your mother-in-law, you should first treat her with a tolerant attitude and don't always look at her with a critical eye. In addition to not expecting too much from my mother-in-law, it is wise to try to "forget" some unpleasantness, or "play dumb" as if she didn't hear or see her blaming us, or avoid problems properly and "act" in the past.
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