The fourth chapter of the underlying logic reading records

Lan Yi-Chapter IV: Understanding the Logic of Others

First, know what, why and how, in order to know and do.

1. We describe one thing from three angles:

What (what); Why (why); How (how)

Before asking what it is and how to do it, we must first understand why.

When communicating, you must first find out what the other person wants to hear, why or how, and what you express yourself, why or how.

Your communication is effective only if what you say is consistent with what the other person wants to hear. Before answering the other person's question, we should find out which one the other person's question belongs to, so as to solve the problem of "how to do it".

2. How can we achieve the unity of knowing and doing?

Without why, there is no motivation, and what to do and how to do it are meaningless. Nothing, just chicken soup, no matter how much truth is reflected on paper.

Only by understanding three questions at the same time can the other party really understand one thing.

Second, humor is overflowing wisdom.

1. Three theories of humor: the first is the theory of superiority: to shape yourself into a loser and make the other party feel like a winner, thus creating a sense of superiority that is satisfied.

The second is the theory of consternation: you can do the opposite or you are right. However, the sudden turn gave him a feeling of surprise and surprise.

The third is the release theory: in short, it is to create tension with "danger" and then release it with "safety".

Humor is as simple as lifting weights.

Humor, no matter what kind of theoretical humor, is inseparable from one kind of ability: wisdom.

Third, the so-called insight into the essence is an analogy. Metaphor can simplify complex problems.

1. Anyone who has insight into the essence will make an analogy.

The way of analogy tells you that the way of making the best use of everything and proper analogy will make people have a clearer and deeper understanding of complex and profound problems such as system structure, strategy, market, products and brands.

How to make a good analogy: the ability to make an analogy is essentially a person's ability to see the essence of things. Only by clarifying the nature of the two things that are compared and compared can we properly link these two things together.

3. The analogy of three steps:

The first step is to gain insight into the nature of complex strange things; The second step is to match the familiar things; The third step is to explain the unfamiliar with the familiar.

Fourth, the essence of the sense of boundary is the cognition of ownership.

The essence of the sense of boundary is the cognition of ownership. It is also a safe distance between people.

A person has no sense of boundaries when getting along with others, and will hit a wall everywhere in life and work.

The boundary is ownership. No matter how good the relationship is, you can't cross the line. Keeping one's own boundaries is the minimum accomplishment of an adult.

People in life are aware of where things belong, but their time, privacy and power all belong to them. Maintaining one's own rights and respecting the rights of others are the basic qualities.

When communicating with others, the right to express is yours, and the right to accept is the other's. Aggressive, accepted by others is crossing the line.

Adults should always train their sense of boundaries and don't violate others' boundaries.

Behind every entrepreneur, there is a lot of dopamine support.

1. Dopamine is a chemical substance that supports people to climb up, enjoy the process and achieve their goals after determining their motives.

Everyone who has a goal can't climb without an action catalyst: dopamine.

2. Sources of happiness: endorphins and serotonin.

These three different chemicals can make people happy in different ways.

3. Neuroscience is not equal to cognitive science: a set of reward mechanism table is developed through three chemicals that make people happy, and then the "reward mechanism table" is used to stimulate the secretion of happiness factors.

According to the use of "reward mechanism table", many merchants make customers more happy, attract customers and enhance the commercial effect of customer consistency.

Experience: In communication with children, children often ask "why", but we just tell them: "Because … why does he ask? Let alone discuss with her how to do it.

Humor can really communicate with people better. This kind of wisdom is not available to everyone.

Sense of boundary is the most important thing in interpersonal communication. Communication without a sense of boundary will make the other side defensive and exclusive, and hit a wall everywhere in life.

Action: think more, think about why in what, and find out what to do in why.

Recognize your own sense of boundary, respect the authority of others' boundary, and practice the communication of boundary sense deliberately.