What are the advantages and disadvantages of tiger parenting?

Definition of "tiger mom and wolf dad": high-pressure education, with appropriate substitutions if necessary. From a psychological and pedagogical point of view, the traditional Chinese family education model adopted by the "tiger mom" and "wolf dad" is also known as authoritarian parenting, as opposed to the other three family education models: permissive parenting, authoritative parenting, and neglectful parenting.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of the wolf dad and tiger mom style of education

Benefits:

1. Give the child motivation (positive attitude)

High-pressure education can bring pressure, the pressure is also turned into motivation, exercise the Your endurance, but also exercise your brain power, your body and mind have benefited greatly. Because of the existence of high-pressure education environment, children always want to do better, always want to be outstanding or outstanding. That's why high-pressure education is a tool to tap into one's potential, for which the child is constantly striving and struggling, so that the child's will and perseverance will continue to grow and realize his or her full potential.

2. A child needs to be disciplined in the early stages of his life.

Parents have traveled more bridges than their children, so they know how to make the right, sensible and favorable decisions for their children. Although this approach to parenting suppresses the child's natural instincts and may even seem inhumane in the West, it does have an immediate impact. The methods may be extreme, but the idea of setting goals and trying to achieve them is the right one. Life is not easy. You have to struggle and persevere to get the good things in life. For young people, studying hard is a struggle. Having parents to guide them and make proper decisions can give them a much lesser path and a better step towards a successful life.

3. Surrender a Happy Childhood, Give Back a Successful Life (Prepare for the Future)

"To be a man is to be a man". The implementation of high-pressure education is more of a big-picture view, the purpose is not for the momentary happiness of the child as a child, but to put far into the future, for the future development of the child, laying a good foundation.

Drawbacks:

It tends to undermine a child's personality and social development.

For example, children raised by authoritarian parents may be successful academically and in early careers; however, they are more likely to be introverted, socially withdrawn, or passive in social interactions, and are often tense and perceived as unfriendly in everyday interpersonal interactions.

But in the modern world, it is clearly anachronistic to measure the success or failure of homeschooling with the same view of education as in traditional societies.

Academic success is not necessarily related to future career success or happiness. Academic success is more likely to lead to good careers, and it's easier to get into the upper echelons of society, but it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a person's happiness in life. In contrast, career success and happiness in life are more closely related to emotional competence. Emotional competence, also known as emotional intelligence, is often reflected in an individual's emotional screening and control, as well as self-control and influence in interpersonal interactions. Children of authoritative parents are more independent, peer-friendly, assertive and cooperative; they are highly motivated to achieve and are often successful and well-liked. They are able to effectively regulate their own behavior, both in their relationships with others and in their self-regulation of their emotions.

Another risk of "tiger mom" and "wolf dad" parenting is that educational success (getting into a good school) is a fluke.

Because every child is born with a different nature, if the child has a good endowment, then under the harsh stick education may be able to achieve academic success. However, if the child is not well endowed, then the education of the "tiger mom" and "wolf dad" actually undermines the child's ability to pursue happiness and joy. It can be argued that behind every example of "success", there may be countless unfortunate children who have fallen into the category of "loser".

1. Parents have high expectations of their children and seek perfection

Because parents don't want to disappoint themselves, they constantly put pressure on their children. When the child is constantly catering to the expectations of the parents, he loses himself, and his state of being is no longer free and fluid. He can only hold on to the "excellence" that he has paid such a high price for. Such an "excellent" child is a bomb that will be detonated at any time, either injuring others or destroying himself. There is a statistic that 23% of children with mental illness in college were recognized as "very good" in middle and high school. But children are very different, and even if they are coerced, many of them do not live up to the expectations of their parents, and thus develop low self-esteem and rebelliousness.

2, the child is not satisfied with their own derogation, chastisement him

In fact, the child can not let the parents satisfied with the time has been very guilty, this time the parents and then scolded him, will let the guilt into resentment and then to the broken cans of broken. The other way around is to keep your eyes open for the next few moments, and to keep your eyes open for the next few moments, and to keep them open for the next few moments, and to keep them open for the next few moments.

3, take their own children and others

This is the majority of the parents of the common problem, when parents often put their own children and other children to do the comparison, the child will also think of their own incompetence, and thus the loss of self-confidence, to the inferiority complex.

4, conditional to meet the needs of the child

You test the first place to buy travel shoes! You get into the top five we'll go on a family trip! Many parents see this as a reasonable and enlightened reward and punishment for children! The most important thing to remember is the fact that this is a subconscious message to the child: to meet the standards of mom and dad is to be loved. And then the child pays the price of losing himself or herself in order to be loved by his or her parents!

5, predicted that the child has no future

predicted that the child has two consequences, one is that the more you say that he has no future, the more he has no future, a total loss of will and ability to learn, and ultimately to realize your prediction! The other kind of child, you say the more you say he has no talent, the more he wants to prove that he has talent, but the whole life in the "proof", lost self, but also lost the wisdom of life and make their own wisdom of happiness.

6, instead of the child to make choices

The child's psychological independence has three stages, respectively 3 years old, 9 years old and 12 years old. When the child is small, the child eats on his own, parents should care and not interfere, do not say you are eating to the clothes, I'll feed it! Then again, you have to choose for your child what clothes he or she wants to wear! There is also the silent for the child enrolled in the piano class, are not wise. Parents are always manipulating their children with their "own minds", but neglecting the process of substitution is depriving your child of growth. If you deprive your child of a certain aspect of growth, your child loses a certain aspect of ability.

7, do not trust the child

Do not think that the child has control, do not think that the child can actually do, completely destroyed the child's self-esteem and motivation. The first thing you need to do is to let your child become an adult, otherwise there will be more and more children with all kinds of problems.

Expanding: The pros and cons of intergenerational education

What is intergenerational education

What is intergenerational education? The next generation of education is due to some young parents because of busy work or because of the divorce and so on and so on the child's education problems, life problems and so on all pushed to the grandpa, grandma, grandpa, grandpa, grandma. These "intergenerational parents" take it upon themselves to take care of their children. Therefore, this kind of grandchildren by the grandparents of the grandchildren's upbringing and education is called intergenerational education.

In fact, in our country, many children's childhood is through intergenerational education. As an objective way of family education, intergenerational education has a great influence on the development of children's personality.

The rich life knowledge and deep life experience of the parents of the intergenerational provides capital and authority for educating children. However, due to the limitations of grandparents by historical conditions and their own age characteristics, there are inevitably some unfavorable factors, we should have a clear understanding.

Disadvantages of intergenerational education

1, over-indulgence of the baby, hindering the baby's self-growth

Grandparents in the young, because of the limitations of the life and work conditions, the children may not have been able to take care of the children very well, they are very prone to produce a kind of compensation for the mentality. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.

2, triggering family conflicts, leading to parent-child disconnect

The first few years of a baby's life, the parents' influence on him is crucial. After all, for a baby, his parents are his most important relatives. If his parents can't be there for him, he can easily develop a feeling of abandonment, leaving a shadow deep inside him. In addition, the baby has been living with his grandparents since he was a child, and is used to receiving their care and accommodation, and may have developed some behavioral habits that his parents are not used to. When the parents take over the baby at a certain time, or take over the baby completely from the grandparents, they may be eager to reverse these so-called problematic behaviors of the baby, and antagonism between the parents and the baby is very easy to emerge. Emotions. This antagonism will cause the baby to become more distant from the parents and retreat to the grandparents. It is easy for the grandparents and the father to start a family conflict over the baby's upbringing. If the grandchildren then step in to prevent the father from "teaching" the grandchildren, this conflict will be further stimulated.

3, hold the old ideas do not let go, hindering the baby personality development

Many grandparents education concept is relatively backward, the characteristics of the baby's psychological development lack of correct understanding, they may be able to limit the baby's various exploratory activities, to give him some of the age of his requirements do not match, invariably give some of the bundle, resulting in a lack of creativity. Lack of pioneering spirit. Coupled with the fact that many elderly people have aging knowledge, relatively rigid thinking, a more rigid view of things, and are prone to stick to the dustbin and take an overly traditional approach to educating their babies, then their backward mode of education will affect the baby's acceptance of the speed of new knowledge, resulting in the baby's lack of creative thinking and the sense of divergent thinking. Of course, there are also many grandparents who are not highly educated and have relatively old-fashioned ideas, and they may also unconsciously pass on to their babies some feudal dregs that can't keep up with the trend of the times, constraining their babies' `thinking' and hampering the development of their babies' personalities.

Benefits of intergenerational education

1, the old man has a more peaceful state of mind

The pressure of modern life has led to the survival of the young parents generation of pressure, it is easy to work in the kind of nervousness brought home, resulting in disharmony in the family atmosphere, to bring the baby excessive psychological stress. However, the grandparents have been out of that kind of fierce competition in the social environment, their mentality is relatively calm, coupled with the elderly have a child-like mentality, which makes them especially like the baby, but also easier to integrate into the game of the little baby, with the baby to establish a more harmonious relationship, for them to implement the correct education to provide a very relaxed and harmonious psychological foundation.

2, have a richer life experience

Grandparents have a wealth of practical experience in raising and educating babies, they know more accurately the characteristics of the baby's various stages of development, especially in the case of the baby's illness, or encountered other problems, they are more aware of how to do, and will not be like inexperienced parents, as a little bit of panic. On the contrary, they seem to be more calm. This way of dealing with grandparents brings more security to the baby, and also gives the parents a kind of psychological support, which can play a very positive role in solving these problems.

3, for the young parents to solve the worries

grandparents love their grandchildren can not be replaced by any childcare institutions or nannies, they can provide the best psychological support for the baby, to bring the baby a sense of security, they also joined the young parents to devote themselves to the work of the laying of a solid support. It is especially worth mentioning that the grandchildren's participation in the single-parent families to make up for the problem of the lack of a father or mother in the family, to provide the baby with the object of gender imitation, but also for the baby to learn to get along with the opposite sex to provide the opportunity to exercise, invariably give the baby a correct and complete gender awareness education, the baby's psychosexual health development has far-reaching significance.

In addition, grandparents are generally more patient, and they are also more able to calmly listen to their babies and have more exchanges with them, so as to better understand and fulfill their babies' needs. Coupled with the fact that they have ample time and energy to dedicate to their babies, this gives babies substantial protection in areas such as life care and personal safety. Not only that, the grandparents in the long-term life practice accumulated social experience and life sense, on the grandchildren's growth also has a subtle positive influence.

4. Inherit the excellent cultural traditions

The Chinese people have many excellent cultural traditions and virtues, which are of extraordinary significance to China's sustained development, and which are gradually disappearing under the fusion and influence of the Western culture, or have lost their original flavor.

The older generation will retain more of these traditional cultures and virtues, and with their involvement in educating the grandchildren, the babies will not only receive advanced cultural inculcation, but also have the opportunity to better pass on these excellent traditional cultures and virtues.