And the Americans to deal with Should we respect their customs or help them to adapt to our customs?

I. Etiquette in Social Situations

14. At the table, all food should be taken with a knife and fork all the way around. Only celery, baby carrots, green fruits, fruits, dry snacks, dried fruits, candies, fried potato chips, corn, field hen legs and bread can be eaten with hands.

15. When the waiter serves the guests in turn, walk to your left before it is your turn to pick up the food. If the waiter stands on your right, do not take, that is the turn of the guests on your right to take food. When taking dishes, it is best to take a little of each, as this will please the hostess. If you really do not like a certain dish, you can also say, "Thank you, no."

16. When the hostess wants to add food for you. You can pass the plate along with the knife and fork placed on it to her or to the waiter. If she doesn't ask you, you can't take the initiative to ask for additional food, it's rude to do that.

17. Some of the food on the table, such as bread, butter, jam, pickles, dried fruit, candy, etc., should wait for the hostess to propose before taking food. When you take turns to take food, the male guest should ask the female guest next to him to take first, or ask her if she is willing to let you take some. When eating, you should not cross in front of others to take food. If you need something, you should pass it behind someone else.

18. After the meal, the guests should wait for the hostess to get up from her seat, and then together with the departure. It is not polite to leave the table in the middle of the meal or before the end of the banquet. After rising, the male guests should help the women return the chairs to their original places. Leave your napkin on the table and do not fold it as you found it, unless your host asks you to stay for the next meal.

To make the banquet from beginning to end full of pleasant and harmonious atmosphere, not only the guests should behave properly and courteously, the attitude of the host and hostess is also very important.

After the banquet begins, it is the responsibility of the host and hostess to make the conversation lively and interesting, and each guest is not left out. If anyone speaks inappropriately, the host should immediately and skillfully try to change the subject.

When dining, the host should wait for the guests to finish a dish before moving on to the next one. The host should not eat too fast, if most people have finished, and a few people have not finished, should slow down, so as not to make the guests feel uneasy.

During the meal, the host should try to make each guest feel comfortable. If the guest will drop the knife and fork on the ground. Should immediately and politely for him to change a hand. If the guest accidentally broke the plate and bowl, the hostess should calmly clean up and comfort the guest, never show displeasure.

Lastly, the host should never calculate the cost of the treat in front of the guest.

Fourth, the ball guide

The ball is one of the most common social occasions, it can promote the interaction between people and enhance friendship. The atmosphere of the ball is certainly relaxed and casual, but all kinds of etiquette should not be ignored.

1. Private dance

Any family in the United States, as long as there is a certain degree of manpower and financial resources, you can organize a private dance. They can be held at home or in a rented space in a hotel or club. Proms are so frequent in the United States that renting rooms from clubs and hotels often requires an agreement a year in advance. If you want to have a party in the near future, you can call the manager and ask for help.

Once the time and place are set, the band should be contacted. Finalize the guest list and send out invitations. Invitations to the ball are usually sent in the name of the hostess. Celibate men can also organize a ball to send invitations. More men than women should be invited to the ball so that the women do not have no one to dance with. So before the ball, a male guest can call the host and ask to bring another male partner, but not another female partner.

At the ball, the hostess can arrange for the guests to be seated on name cards, and negotiate with the florist to come and deliver flowers to each guest on the spot.

(1) Dinner party

The dinner party is usually held in the evening. Dinner is served about an hour after the start of the ball. Guests attending a formal ball should arrive no later than half an hour after the start of the ball, and are usually seated according to their name cards.

Dancing can begin as soon as the guests have arrived and taken their seats. Each course of dinner is served very slowly. Each man should first ask the woman sitting on his left to dance, and then ask the other women. A woman who is new to society is usually asked to dance first by her father, even if she is not seated on his left.

At the end of the formal dinner and dance, a variety of drinks are served. Coffee is usually placed on the table and other drinks are served by waiters. At this point the guests can sit around until midnight, when a small selection of sandwiches or cakes may be served.

If a formal ball is held at home, dinner may be served buffet style. Guests can help themselves to food and sit around the table as they choose, choosing their conversation partners.

(2) Dinner Dance

A dinner dance starts and ends much later than a formal dinner dance, around 10:00 to 11:00 pm and ends in the early hours of the next morning.

There is no formal meal at a dinner party, but some simple food is served from 12 midnight or 1 o'clock the next day. Guests have to eat dinner before going to the ball. There is no fixed seating at a dinner dance, and guests do not sit at tables. However, there are enough chairs in the ballroom and the next room for guests to rest.

To attend a dinner dance, you can arrive an hour later than the set time, and you don't have to stay until the end of the dance. At a traditional ball, the last waltz is danced and then you can leave.

2. Fundraising dances

Fundraising dances are commercial events that make money by organizing dances. Many charitable organizations and foundations in the United States rely on annual fundraising balls to increase their income. This ball is one of the main ways in which they accumulate funds.

Some famous welfare organizations in the United States, often with celebrities such as the president's wife, the vice president's wife or other senior officials as the backstage, the organization of fund-raising ball, the proceeds of which are used to relieve the poor, or to help foreign immigrants or to run a charity. So many Americans are very enthusiastic about these fund-raising balls and are happy to give generously. Many foreign embassies in the U.S. are also willing to provide venues for fund-raising balls, give support.

3. Prom etiquette

At the beginning of the ball, the hostess in the living room to meet every guest, and the new guests to the nearest guests to introduce.

If a male guest comes with a female guest: when entering the ballroom, the woman should be in the front and the man in the back, not both arm in arm.

On the dance floor, the man can ask the woman to dance with him, but the woman can not take the initiative to invite the man to dance with her. When a man invites a married woman to dance, he should first ask her husband for permission to dance with her. In the middle of the dance, it is allowed to insert people to change partners, but never two men or two women **** dance.

When a woman does not want to dance with a man, she can politely find an excuse to decline, the man can not force.

When the dance hall provides food and drink, the man should accompany the female partner to eat, and is responsible for taking care of her.

The male guest should take the initiative to ask the hostess or the host's daughter to dance as a sign of respect.

When the female partner intends to go home. The male dance partner should immediately promise. And slightly send off. If the man goes first, he should explain the reason to his female partner and ask for forgiveness.

Leaving the ballroom does not necessarily alarm the master, you can go without saying goodbye. However, if the host is nearby, you should thank her and say goodbye.

Within a week of attending the ball, you should call or write to your host to thank her.

V. Twenty Commandments

1. Do not hitchhike

In the United States travel, do not feel free to hitchhike, this is due to the United States of America's social security situation. Hitchhiking and being robbed of money or being abused and such cases are common in the United States. Some criminals see women walking on the side of the road, they take the initiative to stop and solicitously ask for a ride. If you mistake him for good intentions, it's like a sheep to the tiger's mouth. This situation, it is best to coldly refuse, do not talk to each other more.

Not only that, encountered the request for a ride people do not lightly easy to agree. The reason for this is that some criminals, including young girls, are waiting to take a ride, and when they get on the bus, they threaten to swindle the money.

2. Don't take the subway at night

The subway in New York is extremely dirty, and at night it is a gathering place for gang members. Drug addicts, burglars, gangsters, and drug dealers all gather here, and the whole atmosphere is chilling. If you do not care, then after the accident, New York police officers not only will not sympathize with you, may also blame you: "night subway, is not the same as in the crocodile gathered in the water swimming? If something goes wrong, the responsibility lies with you."

3. Don't call black people "Negro"

" Negro" is the English word for "black person". Negro" is the English word for "black person", especially black people who were trafficked from Africa to the United States to work as slaves. So don't ever refer to a black person as "Negro" in the United States, not when you are talking to a white person, but even more so when you are talking to a black person. Otherwise, the black person will feel that you have contempt for him. It is better to use the word "Black" when you talk about black people, and black people will accept it with open arms.

4. You can't just say "I am sorry"

"I am sorry" and "Excuse me" are both I am sorry" and "Excuse me" both mean "sorry", "I am sorry", but "I am sorry" tone is heavier, said to recognize their own faults or mistakes. If you say "I am sorry" to be polite, you will be caught by the other party. Pursue the actual responsibility does not belong to you. At that time, only "dumb to eat yellow even", because a "sorry" has admitted that they are wrong. And how to change your mind?

5. Modesty is not a virtue

The Chinese see modesty as a virtue, but Americans see excessive modesty as a synonym for hypocrisy. If a person who speaks fluent English is humble enough to say that he doesn't speak English well, and then speaks fluent English, Americans will think that he has lied and that he is a liar and a pretender. Therefore, with the Americans to socialize, should boldly say their own ability, there is one is one, there is ten is ten. There is no need to be modest and polite, otherwise it is contrary to the wishes of the people.

6. Greetings with strangers

We are on the road, in the elevator or in the corridor, often with oncoming people face-to-face, eye to eye encounter, this time the American custom is to use the eyes of the salute. Do not immediately avert your eyes, or turn your face to the side, pretending not to see. Only to the eyes and disdain for people who do not do so.

Americans early in the morning when strolling along the street, if you meet the people who pass by, it is customary to say "good morning". Of course, in the more pedestrianized streets, it is not necessary to greet all the people who pass by with a glance or hello.

7. Conversation topics

When you go to an American party, don't just talk about what you know best. Talking about topics that only you are familiar with can be embarrassing and off-putting to others. Talking about your personal business and showing it off can also give the impression that you have a narrow vision and know nothing but your own business.

In between conversations, you should look for topics that are of interest to everyone. A doctor can talk about literature, a scientist about music, an educator about his travels, and the whole party will be relaxed.

It should be noted that Christians view suicide as a sin, and in the United States, the topic of suicide is not a popular one, and should be avoided at all times and in all places.

8. Don't forget to greet your children

Americans emphasize the equality of adults and children. If you are a guest in an American home, your child must come out to meet the guest and say hello. At this point, do not just focus on the adults left out of the children, which will inevitably make their parents unhappy.

Greeting with a child, you can shake hands or kiss the face, if the child kissed your risk, you must also kiss his face.

9. The same sex can not dance together

The same sex can not double dance, which is recognized as one of the social etiquette of the United States. When people of the same sex dance together, they are bound to look at them reproachfully or think they are homosexuals. Therefore, even if you can't find a partner of the opposite sex, you should never dance with someone of the same sex.

10. Don't take off your shoes in front of other people

In the United States, if you take off your shoes or go barefoot in front of other people, you will be regarded as a barbarian who doesn't know the etiquette. Only in the bedroom, or between a man and a woman who are passionately in love, can you take off your shoes. If a woman removes her shoes in front of a man, it means "do what you want"; if a man removes his shoes, he is scorned as if he were a barefoot native in the jungle. It is impolite for either sex to pull down their socks or pull on their garters in front of others. Shoes with loose laces should also be tied by walking to an unoccupied place.

11. Women can not drink alone

Women can not drink alone, if you drink alone or a few women get together to drink, are regarded as "waiting for a man's woman", the uninitiated women may be "proposed to men" type of harassment. "The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal on the price of the product, and you'll be able to get a good deal.

12. Do not stick out your tongue in front of others

Americans believe that sticking out your tongue in front of others is an indecent and impolite behavior, giving people a vulgar, dirty feeling, and can even be interpreted as looking down on people.

Children can stick out their tongues when they make a mistake and look innocent and cute, but adults must not do so.

13. Don't just smile

Smiling can bring friendship. But in some cases, a smile is often a promise of something. Especially women, it is best not to smile for no reason. This is because an ambiguous smile can sometimes be mistaken for a "smile of shame" and sometimes for "acquiescence", resulting in a big misunderstanding;

14. When you pass in front of others, you must say "excuse me". At this time, the American posture is the back of the seated into, head down and bend over. This is different from the European custom, Europeans must face the sitting in, bowed head and bent over.

15. Banquet do not get drunk

In the banquet to drink in moderation, always maintain a gentlemanly demeanor, which is the European and American people **** keep the etiquette.

In the American party, rarely see drunk people. Even if you drink too much, you have to stick to the end of the banquet, back to their rooms before you can collapse. If you get drunk on the spot and cause trouble, you will attract the contempt of the crowd.

16. not messy gifts

Gifts must be sent to meaningful, such as a friend's birthday, colleagues can send a gift to show their feelings. But you can't send gifts at every turn, so the other side will not only be grateful, but also suspected that you have other plans.

I do not know what to send a good gift, you can send flowers. When you are a guest or attend a party, flowers are always appropriate. Perfume and whiskey are also popular.

17. Do not eat garlic before going out

Americans are generally very sensitive to smell, especially hate to smell the odor of garlic. Before going out, if you have eaten garlic, it is best to brush your teeth and rinse your mouth. Otherwise, the smell of garlic smoked people, must cause each other unpleasant.

18. Do not pay for others

Chinese people are accustomed to a few friends go out together, always rush to pay for tickets, tickets and so on. But if you do this to Americans, you won't get any thanks from them. This practice will make Americans feel indebted to the account of favor, psychological hard. Americans go out together, always pay their own expenses, fare, meals, tips and so on.

19. After using the restroom

The Chinese habit is to close the door, and it is best to close it tightly when no one is in the restroom. Americans, on the other hand, leave the bathroom door open to indicate that no one is inside. If it's closed tightly, it means there's someone in there, and people have to wait outside.

20. Hand gestures

Americans point to the tip of their noses when they point to themselves. If we follow our own habits, pointing to the chest, often make them do not know the meaning, can not be understood.

When we call someone over, our habit is to wave, which in the eyes of Americans is exactly "goodbye". The gesture they use to call someone over is to point their finger towards themselves and then to gently shake their middle and index fingers towards themselves two or three times.

The Americans have a number of gestures, for example, with the index finger and thumb in a circle, the other three fingers upward spread, make a "OK" gesture, which means "good", "agree! ".

Six, tipping

The United States tipping trend is very prevalent. Generally speaking, when you get someone else's service should be tipped, if the service is particularly thoughtful, but also pay more. According to statistics, the United States engaged in the service industry. Each year, the total amount of various tips amounted to as much as 5 billion U.S. dollars. Taxi driver income 1 / 3 from tips. However, not in any occasion, on any service personnel to pay tips. The tip should be given to whom, and there is a lot to be said for it.

In the United States by boat or train should be tipped, but by coach and airplanes do not have to pay; to the station or dock porters should be tipped, but do not have to pay the waiter's tip to access the baggage; in the hotel to help you carry luggage or clean the room waiter should be tipped, but on the counter waiter is not required to pay; in the restaurant to you on the food on the meal waiter should be tipped, but to the usher In restaurants, tip the waiter who serves your food, but not the maitre d'; in cars, tip the taxi driver, but not the bus driver; and tip the hairdresser and beautician, but not the salesman or the laundromat attendant.

In addition, the police, customs inspectors, embassy staff, government employees and other public servants to give you the service should never be tipped, they can only be verbal thanks or write a letter of thanks, otherwise it will be regarded as a kind of disrespectful behavior. It is customary not to tip desk clerks, such as information desk clerks and ticket office clerks. Guides, elevator drivers, etc. in galleries and museums also do not receive tips.

The amount of a tip varies from person to person and from place to place. In large cities, a tip of 15 percent of the total cost indicates that the customer was satisfied with the service; a tip of 20 percent indicates excellent service. Elsewhere, the tip is usually 15% of the bill. Customers need to pay 25 cents for breakfast in a small coffee shop; in a high-class hotel, you have to pay the cleaning lady $2 a day; in airports, train stations and bus stations with flat rates, customers have to pay 35 cents to the porter for each piece of luggage; women go to the barber store to spend the most money on the barbershop, the shampooing, cutting and perming barbers have to be tipped separately. Taxi drivers also ask for tips, if the fare is less than 1.5 dollars, you can pay 25 cents, otherwise you have to pay more. A visitor to the United States to talk about the travel experience, said: when he took a taxi, the driver was talking and laughing, seemingly amiable; once out of the car forgot to pay the tip, the driver's face immediately clouded, very ugly, before and after the two like a man.

There are a variety of ways to pay tips: customers can put the tip on the tea tray, under the glass of wine; tips can also be stuffed in the hands of the waiter; or in the payment, only to find back to the whole ticket put up, the change is not collected, even if it is to pay a tip.

Seven, between men and women

The United States, like the rest of the world, women are welcome to participate in business, social, educational and community activities. They participate in sports and travel from time to time, and are increasingly treated as equals to men. However, most women still expect a little special courtesy as well.

Most men still stand when a woman walks into a room, although this custom is less practiced today, especially by the young. However, the courtesy of not asking a woman's age is still appreciated. The man usually opens the door for the woman, into a room or restaurant, it is still generally the woman in front of the man, unless there are some trivial matters, such as the selection of the table to be taken care of, only by the man in front of the woman.

Single women, like single men, can go anywhere at any time, but there are some places that a woman may not want to go alone, for example, a woman alone to a restaurant for lunch or dinner is perfectly acceptable, but alone to a bar or a nightclub where you can eat and dance, or to a restaurant that charges a lot of money, may be an exception. As we said, anyone is free to go to these places from time to time, but a single woman may not feel comfortable in such places and may give a different impression than she would like.

From time to time, single women are invited to dinner, cocktail parties, and various social events. There is no reason why they can't accept, and reciprocate, this type of invitation by asking a single man or a group of other people to join them for dinner. Usually, if a man invites a woman out to dinner, he pays the bill.

Women of all ages are free to travel throughout the United States. When a single woman stops at a hotel or motel, she will find that the people she meets, especially other travelers, are extremely friendly and helpful. Don't hesitate to ask for information about bus routes, car repairs, or local tourist attractions. As a general rule, it is wise to lock your car doors when traveling at night. This is true in any country, and it's no different in the U.S. There are crimes all over the world, and in the U.S. as well.

Social customs vary from place to place across the country, but generally speaking, the further west you travel, the friendlier and more informal people become. You'll also find that small towns are more casual than big cities, which is the same for most of the country.

Men and women **** together at many social events, especially in large American cities. They work together, *** enjoy sports, eat together in restaurants or in each other's apartments or homes. However, the fact that men and women spend a lot of time together does not necessarily indicate a deeper relationship. There are areas where women are not as active as American women, so the idea that a traveler from those areas who sees an American woman willingly traveling with a man will assume that she will be submissive to that man's demands is incorrect. It is important to recognize this at the outset. Although the social customs of the United States are more casual than those of other countries, the views of Americans on sex are similar to those of other countries. Sex is certainly more openly discussed in the United States than it used to be, but the decision to have sex or not is still a private and personal matter, left to the man and woman to decide for themselves.

A woman visiting the United States should keep in mind that she can follow the customs she feels comfortable with when dating men. For example, she can indicate what her preferred social activities are - concerts, plays, sporting events, or eating out. If she doesn't want certain uninhibited friendships, she should make that clear. While America is extremely informal, it's important that you don't create a false impression of your feelings for another person.

Regarding who pays for a date between a man and a woman, American customs are mostly the same as those around the world. Female college students or women working in business and industry tend to pay for their own during the day. However, if a man invites her to a special event outside of her daily working hours, such as a drink, dinner, dance, or a movie, then the invitation means "my treat". If the man goes with her and refuses to treat her, he will ask her in a different tone of voice so that she understands beforehand. He will ask, "Are you going to see the new movie? Can we go together?" Or, "I'd like to go to a movie if I can get tickets. If you're interested in going too, how much would you pay for a ticket?" The whole "dating" thing, like everything else in America today, is in the process of being transformed. Young men and women often talk about what they are going to do and who is going to pay for it.

1. Getting a seat

Visitors to the United States from countries where class status is important may feel that the United States doesn't particularly honor dignitaries. Americans bow to people without being particularly attentive to their status, and will bow more than once. Whether at home or in an automobile, Americans do not usually ask the guest of honor to sit in a particular seat. Courtesy is rare, and you may see it in the form of asking the guest of honor to sit on the right side of the host or hostess at a dinner party. In some countries, the back seat of an automobile is the top seat. But in the United States, private automobile next to the driver's seat is the seat, half because the driver is often the owner himself, the other half is because of the seat in front of the car, you can clearly see the scene outside.

2. Body language

Did you know? The distance two people stand from each other when talking varies from culture to culture. In some countries, people may stand very close to each other when talking, and as the conversation continues, the two faces often get closer. According to research, Americans feel uncomfortable if they stand too close to others; the most comfortable distance for them is about 50 centimeters. In other countries, people like to talk a little further away than 50 centimeters.

Another social habit you'll notice about Americans is that, like many other peoples, they tend to gesture when they talk. As they talk, they may pat each other on the shoulder as a sign of friendship, or tap a child on the head as a sign of affection. According to the customs of certain peoples in other countries, such expressions may be unpopular, especially with the left hand. Many Americans are accustomed to the left hand; there is no difference between the right and left hand in the United States, and there is no disrespect in the use of the left or the right. However, in this kind of small things, if the other party in social occasions with both hands in the use of the words you are not happy, you only need to hesitate a little, your American friends often understand what you mean.

3. Quiet living alone

Americans do not have the idea of quiet living alone, is often difficult for tourists to understand. Americans are not a nation of walls and gates. Their yards are usually connected. They generally visit each other without invitation or a phone call; they work in offices and always keep their doors open.

Their lack of desire to live quietly and alone may be a result of the history of their country. The United States is a vast country. The United States has never built a walled city, and Americans do not need to defend themselves against their neighbors. In the early days of the United States there were so few inhabitants that neighbors were too important to keep out. Neighbors provide protection and help in times of hardship, and they watch out for each other.

This desire to be alone, to be open to each other, developed from early American history, and visitors can observe it in many small ways: American homes may have a few rooms with no doors or only glass walls. If you see someone walk out of your room and forget to close the door, don't think they are rude. Do them a favor and let them know that you like to keep the door closed or you'll have to adapt to the new way. In short, you have to be patient about being different from each other