Seek the script of the "Emperor's choice of consort" skit!

Emperor: I think I hall today's emperor, although there are three palaces, six houses, seventy-two concubines, three thousand beautiful, but there is no one true love ah, alas ......

Small Li Zi: (singing unaccompanied song, and finally kneeled down with a fan fan emperor's crotch) are said to pick up girls bitter ah, are said to pick up girls tired, how much you suffered for the pick up of girls, why not I'm not going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do that," he said.

The emperor: I said little Li Zi, how we came to what place?

Small Li Zi: back to uphold the emperor, we came to the three Mao Hot Spring Square.

The emperor: Oh?

Small Li Zi: I heard that the beauty of this place, ah, one is the closed moon, fish and geese, the emperor if the package here, it is like a fish in water ah.

The emperor: Aiya, is it?

Small Shunzi: then why don't we have a live beauty contest, how?

The Emperor: good, good, good, just what I want

Small Li Zi: Emperor, your meaning slave understand.

The emperor: understand well.

Small Li Zi: the emperor declared, everyone listen up, the emperor choose consort, the emperor choose consort. Anyone under the age of eighteen and over eighty-eight can come to the election.

The emperor: wrong

Small Li Zi: The emperor declared the decree, where the age of eighteen years of age, eighty years of age or more can come to the election!

Emperor: wrong again!

Small Li Zi: The Emperor declared that anyone who is over eighteen years old and under twenty-eight years old can come to run for the election!

Emperor: little Shunzi!

Little Shunzi: In

Emperor: accompaniment!

Small Shunzi: Your Majesty please!

Small Li Zi: Your Majesty you slow down.

Small Shunzi: Your Majesty, since your imperial decree, all over the country, ancient and modern Chinese and foreign beauties, an endless stream of campaigning.

Emperor: Oh? They are all rushing to me tall and powerful, jade tree, handsome and dashing, come to ah, hahaha.

Small Li Zi: the emperor has a decree, declared the first candidate into the temple!

Pan Jinlian: (music "can not stop the flavor" on singing) I can not get your love, I will break up your family. Little girl is one of the four ancient sluts Pan Jinlian, since the prodigal son of Simon Qing went away, I am the daytime also want to, the night also dream, that sleep for many years of slutty heart is also stupid, I heard that the emperor is coming to choose the consort, I must make every effort to get him done. Hmph! The little girl to see the emperor.

The emperor: who is coming?

Pan Jinlian: the people's daughter Pan Jinlian!

Small Shunzi: Your Majesty, wait, you are not seducing an adulterer to murder his own husband, Pan Jinlian ah?

Pan Jinlian: Aiya, wrongly ah wrongly.

The emperor: what wrongdoing ah?

Pan Jinlian: It was rumored by others.

The emperor: Oh, rumors, rumors, rumors can not be trusted, Pan Jinlian, raise your head, let me look on a look.

Pan Jinlian: Emperor ... on ...

Small Li Zi: a head of hair, two eyes like a knife, three circumference is proportional, four limbs are more delicate, five feet of body, six inches of waist, seven points of the board oil, eight points of the water fat, nine points of the enchanting, ah I said the emperor, very flirtatious ah.

The emperor: good, on her

Small Shunzi: Emperor, there are a few behind, you do not look at ah, maybe more beautiful than her, you do not regret ah?

The emperor: small Shunzi words of reason ah, Pan Jinlian ah, you have nearly passed the sea election, to the side waiting for it.

Pan Jinlian: Thank you, Your Majesty!

Emperor: Xiao Li Zi,

Small Li Zi: in

Emperor: declared

Small Li Zi: zhao, the emperor has a decree, declared the second candidate to the temple.

Yang Yuhuan: (music "Drunken Tango" start singing) I'm drunk because I'm lonely, I'm lonely, want to find a man to accompany me.

Yang Yuhuan: See you, Your Majesty!

The Emperor: Who is it?

Yang Yuhuan: I am Yang Yuhuan.

The emperor: Oh, Yang Yuhuan, so many years have not seen, you went there.

Yang Yuhuan: Your Majesty, I practiced ballet for a few years, in order to lose weight, as a year of three, was arrested several times, you say bad luck is not bad luck? Alas, I heard that the emperor came to the beauty pageant, your consort came to accompany!

Small Li Zi: Look at her white skin, white hands, plus white teeth, black hair, black eyebrows, plus black eyes, really fine ah.

Emperor: oops, great, that's her.

Small Shunzi: Hey, the emperor and slow, the emperor and slow, there is a behind it? Maybe even more beautiful than her, you do not see regret ah?

The emperor: ah, small smooth son does speak sense, well, Yang Yuhuan it, you also passed the election, a side also waiting for it.

Yang Yuhuan: Thank you, Your Majesty!

Small Shunzi: Your Majesty, I heard that the back of this or a foreign girl!

The Emperor: Oh? Foreign girls? Today I want to open the ocean. Little Li Zi, quickly declare!

Small Li Zi: Your Majesty has a decree, declared the third candidate into the temple!

McDonald: ("Carmen" start singing) love is just a boring game, no big deal, men are just a pastime, no big deal.

McDonald: I'm Madonna's cousin, McDonald, and I heard that the Emperor of China was choosing a concubine, so I jerked off and came over at just the right time... Hi, you're the Emperor of China?

Emperor: yes, yes, yes, I am the emperor of China.

McDonald's: ou, i love you (pounced over to embrace)

Small Li Zi: (blocking) slow! Do you know that men and women are not related?

McDonald's: Oh, sorry, sorry, this is our western etiquette.

Small Li Zi: Your Majesty, you see her fur coat hair towards the outside, ten fingers are all the diamond ring with, barrel socks transparent uncovered, frank breast leakage of the most elegant. Emperor you listen to me, you do not call do not know the phone is good, do not eat tonic do not know the sinks people kidney treasure, do not enter the bathhouse I do not know that they do not have that little tiny bird, Emperor you a bubble foreign girls to know that they ......

Emperor: (immediately after the) golden gun, hahahahahaha, what is that sells to come to the person?

McDonald's: McDonald's!

Emperor: wait aside.

McDonald's: yes (walked to one side and Pan hostile, mutual a few hits and then back to their respective ignore)

Small Li Zi: Emperor, you see this beauty pageant, can be said to be full of, the three beauties each have their own unique characteristics, in the end, which one are you choose? (The three women heard immediately quarrel forward, choose me, choose me ......)

Emperor: What is the noise? What is the behavior?

Small Li Zi: What's the matter? All give me a side to wait for the go.

The Emperor: Little Li Zi, what is your plan?

Small Li Zi: In my opinion, why don't we have a field test, a talent contest.

The emperor: this plan is very good, it is left to you to do it.

Small Li Zi: Come, come, you give me to listen well, now the scene test, test you have what skills, if selected, that glory and wealth, can be expected. Jinlian, what do you know?

Pan Jinlian: I'm from a famous family ......

Small Li Zi: I heard that your father is not a pig killer?

Pan Jinlian: How did the reverse trend? Really that pot does not open mention that pot, into the heart ah you (as a shrew-like)

Small Li Zi: (a little afraid) Europe, good, famous girl, famous girl.

Pan Jinlian: playing and singing, poetry and song, all good.

Small Li Zi: You know how to write poems? The emperor also likes to write poems, you can write one to hear!

Pan Jinlian: Well, listen up, spring sleep does not wake up, everywhere sexual harassment, the night to call the sound of the bed, the people's daughter I ...... can not stand, (turned to rush to the emperor)

Emperor: ah bah, this is clearly a obscene poem,

Small Li Zi: Yes, obscene poem!

Emperor: If such a woman is chosen to come to the palace, there is no telling how many green hats she will bring to me?

Small Li Zi: Yes. Emperor, this is in case if she has any disease not to you infected?

Emperor: right.

Small Li Zi: This if you get sick, the queen will be sick, if the queen is sick, the whole harem eunuchs will be infected.

Emperor: bold lackey, to you said how many times, this family scandal can not be publicized, you still speak?

Little Li Zi: Emperor spare your life, Emperor spare your life.

The emperor: If it is not for the fact that you have been with me for many years on the points, made to cut you, but not quickly continue?

Small Li Zi: Yes. (To Pan) you are still not quick to roll? Roll, roll ......

Pan Jinlian: you are still not a man ah, do not know the goods, hum!

Small Li Zi: I was not a man. Guifei, come on, what all can you order?

Yang Yuhuan: Yes, Emperor you come to see, diaphragm nest under the grass, the razor can not shave, men see it, root is treasure.

The emperor: good, I want to see.

(The emperor made vomit turn)

Small Li Zi: (go over to the deep inhalation turn around and vomit) Emperor, this is clearly a thousand years of fox odor ah! Wow ...... (two people are vomiting) this if the election to the palace, not the back garden fish all to stink to death? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Yang Yuhuan: Humph, do not see, I still do not see you. What's the big deal.

The emperor: small Li Zi, small Shun Zi, you see what kind of goods you find for me?

McDonald's: Emperor, and me.

The Emperor: What do you know?

McDonald: I don't know how to write poetry, but I can dance.

Emperor: (can dance?).

McDonald: Your Majesty, will you try?

Emperor: try. (hands the fan to Tai. With Mai on the stage dancing funny tango, the second back and forth was sold tripped)

Small Li Zi: (busy to go forward to help) Emperor, Emperor you fell?

Emperor: Oh, all right (was helped up) in the end is a foreign girl, the taste is different, good, that is her.

Small Li Zi: Yes, driving back to the palace, driving back to the palace hello ......