Story Script Proposition Skit

Time: September 1, 2002

Location: Local undergraduates' check-in at a military command college in Beijing

Characters: (in order of appearance)

Ms. Jiang Jun - a female second lieutenant, in charge of the check-in area

Li Guodong - new cadet, Henan accent, wearing rustic tracksuit

Jiang Jun - new cadet, Beijing accent, wearing military uniform without rank and collar flower

Jia Daiyu- -New cadet, Cantonese accent, wearing glasses and a short-sleeved, flowery chequered shirt

Niu Benchi - New cadet, Northeastern accent, wearing a navy blue and white camouflage uniform

[The curtain opens. On the right side of the stage, there is a check-in desk and a chair; on the right side of the desk, there is a signboard reading: New Cadets Check-in; on the left side of the stage, there is a signboard reading: Baggage Storage; in the center of the back of the stage, between the check-in desk and the baggage storage, there is a banner reading: Warmly welcome the first undergraduates in the local community!]

[Teacher walks up with the registration roster]

Teacher: (shouting to the surroundings) All the staff are ready, the new students will soon be here, let's do a good job of welcoming the new students! (Walked to the reporting desk, sat down, looking through the roster)

[Li Guodong carrying a green old-fashioned military satchel out of the audience from the stage]

Li Guodong: (to the audience, the Henan dialect) Huh -, today why Zhen (so) many people Lai (it)? I'm here to greet all the heads, teachers and students! (Bow) (Ask the person on the side of the road) Ah, this teacher, I would like to ask how to get to the reporting office of the Command Academy ah? Ah, thank you teacher! (Going up to the stage, after seeing the enrollment office) Comrade--! (The teacher was looking at the roster and didn't hear him. He approached.) Teacher--! (The teacher was still busy setting up the report room, did not hear) ah, ah - auntie!

Teacher: (turning around in surprise) You called me?

Li Guodong: Ah! Teacher, I'm Dashu! I'm here to--

Teacher: Auntie?

Li Guodong: (subconsciously answered) Hey!

[The teacher suddenly realized the mistake and covered his mouth. Li Guodong also embarrassed]

Li Guodong: Teacher, how do you know my nickname Lai? My first name is Li Guodong, and I'm here to report for duty.

Teacher: Oh! You are a new student who has come to report for duty! (Looking at his watch) You're here so early. (active and generous hand out) welcome you--

Li Guodong: (flustered, embarrassed) hey, hey, (nervous to extend his hand, but in contact with the female teacher's hand in a moment, suddenly withdrew his hand and lowered his head to do the bowing posture, failed to touch the teacher's hand, but also rushed over the head, can not find the direction) teacher, Nim (you) where?

Teacher: (from behind patted him) students students -, please put your things to this side. (Leading Li Guodong towards the luggage storage area and then back to his desk)

Li Guodong: (while taking off his old-fashioned military satchel, he said) Zhong! (as he took off his old military satchel)

Teacher: Come, come, come to me and fill out a form.

Li Guodong: Zhong! (not daring to look at the teacher)

Teacher: What's your name?

Li Guodong: Ah, Zhong! (The teacher looked at him in disbelief.) Ah--, teacher (holding up an old military satchel) I have a bag here ......

The teacher: (luggage storage) ah, you just put it over there in the storage.

Li Guodong: No, teacher. I this bag ......

Teacher: (active stand up, want to take the bag) I help you put it!

Li Guodong: (reluctantly) then, then I'll leave it to you--(handing the bag to the teacher)

Teacher: (pondering over the bag and putting it in the depository) It's quite expensive. (Li Guodong followed to put the bag)

[Jiang Jun walks in military style, striding on]

JIANG JUN: (rhythmically) to all of you the Road to the great joy, I came to the Command College today. That one did not take the car two did not play, although our father unit it is Audi. (Back to normal rhythm) Our purpose is to open 11 road (pointing to the legs) to the grandfather as the Long March, the road of the revolution to the bottom! (Bending arms and legs, freeze frame) (turn to look at the newspaper, the teacher is busy) Hey, Auntie Jiang ah!

Teacher: (turning back to look doubtfully) Are you--?

Jiang Jun: I'm Jiang Jun!

Teacher: General? (remembering) O! Jiang Jun, isn't this the son of Jiang's chief of staff? This child has grown up so big, that time ah still wet the bed! （

What are you doing here?

Jiang Jun: I'm here to report for duty.

Teacher: I got into military school! I'm sure I'll be a general in the future. In the future, I'm sure I'll be a general! (Approaching, said quietly) still wet the bed ah? (Turned to take him towards the desk) Jiang Jun ah, first go to put your things over there (pointing to the depository), and then we come over - (suddenly realized that Jiang Jun did not bring anything) Yo! Why don't you even bring a bag?

[Jia Daiyu is carrying a black laptop bag]

JIA DAIYU: (to the audience, in Cantonese) Dear students, I miss you all so much! (Pushing glasses) You guys are so cute! Today, I finally got into the Commanding Officer's Academy, and it's not easy! (Take two steps, think of something to say but don't know what to say. Push the glasses) ...... (Turn around and see the sign, read it) (Turns around and sees a sign, reads it.) New cadets reporting to the Command Academy. (To the audience) Yes, this is it, this is it. (Push the glasses, organize hair, turn around and learn the military start walking movement, throw hands and chest towards the desk)

Li Guodong: (is helping the teacher to receive, see Jia Daiyu walking, go forward to meet) ah, students, hello, all the way to the hard work. I'll take your bag for you.

Jia Daiyu: Thank you! (Pushing away Li's hand, insisted on taking it by himself, facing the teacher knocking his legs upright) Hello, teacher! I'm here to report for duty!

Teacher: (standing up) Hello! Welcome! (reaches out to shake his hand)

Jia Daiyu: (shakes the teacher's hand) Hello - of la -!

Teacher: (taking out the roster) What's your name?

Jia Daiyu: You can call me Daiyu.

Teacher: (flipping through the roster) Fish -?

Jia Daiyu: Oh, teacher, my last name is not Dai, my last name is Jia.

Teacher: Oh. This .... Snapper students ah -

Jia Daiyu: No, no, no, teacher! It's not a scallop, it's not a turtle, it's a fake scallop.

Teacher: (finding the name on the roster) Jia Daiyu classmate ah!

Jia Daiyu: Yes, yes!

Teacher: OK, put your bag over there and let's come over and fill out a form.

[Li Guodong immediately came over to grab Jia Daiyu's laptop bag]

Jia Daiyu: Hey, hey, I can't do it, students, this bag is a laptop, very valuable - la! Inside ah is all knowledge, knowledge is (make a fist bodybuilding state) power! The power - the amount!

Teacher: Take it yourself! (Handing over the form) Here, your check-in form.

[Niu Benchi suddenly leaps out from the stage and does a forward roll]

Niu Benchi: (in northeastern Chinese) Ouch my mom! (Kneeling on the ground with his hands in the air waiting to catch something) My bag? (A large camouflage bag flew out from the stage, and Niu Benchi caught it) Oops! (He wants to carry the camouflage bag, but suddenly he hears his cell phone ringing. (from the jacket pocket out of the cell phone, answer) ah? Dad ah. I have safely "landed" in the Command College, don't worry! (Putting away the cell phone, to the audience) Oops! Aiya! This is the Command College? Oh, my God! (Looking into the distance) That's all the Command Academy, right? Today I finally got into the academy, we are all classmates now, I'll treat you tonight, no doubt about it, we have plenty of money, see you at the South Gate Restaurant! (Look at the sign and read it.) "So-and-so Beijing Command Academy Reporting Office." ......

[Teacher looking for someone in the crowd with a roster]

Teacher: Niu Benchi--, is Niu Benchi here?

Niu Benchi: Oops! What era is it, there are still called Mercedes-Benz ah! How should also call a Cadillac ah, this ......

Teacher: Niu Benchi with--

Niu Benchi: (suddenly feel is calling himself) Oops, call me na ha! Teacher, I'm here (clutching a camouflage bag and running over), I'm Niu Ben - ah late!

Teacher: You are Niu Benchi, right?

Niu Ben Chi: Ah yes yes yes, I am Niu Ben Chi.

Teacher: You put your bag over there first, then we'll come over and fill out a form!

[Niu Ben-chi walks towards the hosting office, halfway to find Li Guodong sweeping the floor, stop]

Niu Ben-chi: (pointing to Li) You!

Li Guodong: (running past and helping him with his bag) Ai ai, classmate, you've worked hard too. (To put the bag down on the ground)

Niu Benchi: Be gentle! It's all high-tech, you know?

Li Guodong: ah ah, good.

Jia Daiyu: (walked up) Hey, classmates classmates! You so big a bag is also called high-tech ah? See, (patting his laptop bag) I this small bag is high-tech it!

Niu Benchi: small sample! The tiger is not powerful when I am a sick cat ah? Let you see what is called high-tech. (On the ground with his mouth blowing out a clean place) on the bag!

Li Guodong: ah ah, oops (the camouflage bag over)

Niu Benchi: know what is called high-tech not? (Look at the side of the people did not come over to see, gesturing for Jiang Jun and teachers to come over) brothers and sisters to come over ah!

[Jiang Jun and the teacher over to see doubt]

Niu Benchi: (while taking out things from the bag, said) let you see what is called high-tech. (took out the first plastic bag wrapped items) know what this is not? New age protective clothing, (demonstratively jumping up) know it? (Teacher walks back to his desk, disinterested.) And look at this! (pulls out second item) You know what this is? A new age life jacket! (jumps up demonstratively) You know what? (while holding up a third item) I'm the best at this. Let's show you guys what I'm made of. ...... (pulls out a ball-shaped object) Global Positioning System! Huh? (jumps up demonstratively) You know what? I'll show you what this is - (takes an object without looking at it and shows it to the audience)

Jiang Jun and Jia Daiyu: (sarcastic tone of voice, like a cow) You know what?

Li Guodong: (grabbing the item) Foot cream! Oh.

Niu Benchi: (suddenly realized that the wrong one, quickly snatched it back and hid it) Oh my God, I got the wrong one, I'm talking about this one -- (went to his bag again)

Jia Daiyu: (interrupting him) Classmates classmates, you are very simple these things! (Holding up his laptop) I've got it all in this little bag. Let me tell you -- (picks up the first item placed on the ground by the cow, opens the package) see? This thing (out of which comes a military vinyl canvas raincoat) is a DB bar F life jacket, which allows the wearer to be immersed in water from zero to 20 degrees Celsius for five hours, with a body temperature of no less than two degrees! It's very simple -!

Li Guodong: (took the raincoat) Alas, I thought it was something! It's just a piece of shit! （

Niu Benchi: (angry) What do you know?

Jia Daiyu: (picking up the second piece) this thing - high-tech protective clothing, can automatically adjust the temperature, can effectively prevent the high temperature as well as toxic substances, but also very simple - of la - (shoved the item into Niu Benchi). -(Shoving the item to Niu Benchi); (Picking up the third item) This item - Global Positioner System, capable of locking onto a target anywhere, with an error of no less than - 1 meter! It's much simpler--

JIANG JUN: (snatching up the words) of la--!

Jia Daiyu: Ah, you know that too.

Niu Benchi: (snatching back the third item) Bring it over! I can't fix you, kid! I'll show you what I'm-- (trying to show off again)

Jiang Jun: Stop, stop, stop! Give me a moment's rest! (Walking towards the desk, pulling the teacher to the front) Mr. Jiang, do you call these people understanding the troops? They call it understanding the military? They're just having fun! (Walked to the front of the crowd) This military, it should be wearing rubber shoes and tie, training tie an armed belt. The quilt is folded into tofu blocks, walking with someone, one more than a handsome. It's not strange to wash your feet in a basin, but when it's crucial, you can use it as a pot cover. Food and clothing do not need to bring, command college it early arrangements. So I - do not even bring a bag.

Jia, Niu, Li: Oh?

Teacher: Yes, students, as Jiang Jun said, you are the first local high school graduates enrolled in our college. You don't know much about military schools, and when you come here, you can't use any of these fancy bags. The Command College has already prepared new uniform bags for you, and I'm sending them to you now. (off)

Jia, Niu, Li: Aiya, mama! I'm going to send you a new school bag. (Discussion)

Niu Benchi: (to Li Guodong) Boss, where's your bag? Take it out and show it to everyone!

Li Guodong: ah ah, I have a bag, my bag in the depository!

[Niu Benchi went to the storage place and put his camouflage bag there, and found Li Guodong's old military satchel]

Niu Benchi: (picking up the satchel) Oops! Whose lousy bag is this?

Li Guodong: (stepped forward to take the bag) This is my bag ......

Niu Benchi: What era? You still use this kind of bag ah? (Disdainfully threw the satchel in front of Li Guodong)

Li Guodong: (Busy picking up) Don't throw ah!

Niu Benchi: (again grabbed the satchel and threw it on the ground, Li wanted to pick it up again, was stopped) to the Command College to hurry up and get a new bag, do not give me to throw - hey hey, do not pick it up! (From the pants pocket out of money) to give you a hundred dollars, quickly buy a new bag -

Li Guodong: you!

Niu Benchi: Not enough? Two hundred! (See Li does not say anything, then add money) five hundred dollars, buy a Pierre Cardin!

Li Guodong: You! Pick up for me!

Niu Benchi: not pick up! What? You want to rush with me ah! You want to be in a hurry with me?

Li Guodong: me! (Wanted to rush up to fight, was stopped by classmates)

Jia Daiyu: Don't be angry, don't be angry. I'll pick it up I'll pick it up - (bend down to pick it up)

Li Guodong: Nim (you) put it down for me!

Jia Daiyu: (startled, did not dare to pick up)

Li Guodong: (slowly walked to the satchel, solemnly picked up the satchel from the ground, music up) I know, my bag is not as good as this (you), but it is my father's heart na! (Open the satchel cover, which is decorated with military medals) My father is a retired disabled soldier, when he came to ah, my father handed over the bag to me when he said: tree ah -, our rural people to go to school is not easy ah! I don't have anything to give you, this bag you just take it with you, training if bitter ah, tired ah, tree ah, you just take out to see it, don't miss home! Shu, we're soldiers now. When we get to the army, we'll have to fight for our folks in our hometown! (Walking towards the entrance of the stage, in the distance) Father--, I'm going to the military school, the teachers and classmates at the school are treating me quite well, you and my mother can rest assured at home!

[Niu Ben late embarrassed to go up to hold Li Guodong's shoulders, guiltily put the satchel to Li Guodong on his back, the crowd went up to comfort. The teacher took the newly issued schoolbag on the side of the quiet listening]

The teacher: (after wiping tears) students, issued new schoolbag. (Jiang Jun stepped forward to receive all the bags) students, you carry a variety of school bags, with a passion for the country to the military school, (walked to Li Guodong front, patting the old military satchel) this bag is small ah, but it gives us a vivid lesson. It not only inherits the fine tradition of the revolution, but also carries the heavy responsibility of the new era of military change (patting the newly issued schoolbag). (Said while handing out the new bag) Students, the bag I send you today will accompany you through a wonderful and unforgettable military school life. Four years later, when you graduate, I believe that the Command College will be able to make you into qualified and modernized officers!

Students, take up your new schoolbags and report to the motherland!

Crowd of new cadets: (Raise your new schoolbags above your heads) Report - to - the motherland!!!!