Is it best to combine modern families with traditional families?

The traditional China family model is a derogatory term in the impression of most people. People regard it as a cage except criticism or criticism. This is the habitual thinking of many people, especially in some literary works and film and television works. Su Mingyu in Everything is OK wants to get rid of this model, which is obviously the director's criticism of China's traditional family model.

Is the traditional family model in China really useless? Understand the ins and outs of traditional families in China first, and then discuss.

When the Huangdi tribe representing nomadism merged with the Yan Di tribe representing farming, they reached an understanding of * * * in their fixed life on the land. According to historical records, Huangdi and Leizu gave birth to more than 20 children, but there is no record of how to educate them, so they exist in a tribal state rather than a clan or family state.

The Yellow Emperor has twenty-five sons and fourteen surnames.

Even if there is no surname, then the clan we understand naturally does not exist, let alone where. Public ownership is the same concept of people. It was not until later that the Huangdi clan became stronger and grander.

Lei Zu, the princess of the Yellow Emperor, gave birth to two sons, both of whom had a world after her.

Ancestors have been established, and the clan has a chance to take shape. Through reproduction, the descendants of the Yellow Emperor gradually formed a clan with blood as the link and surname as the symbol. The Story of Dayu, with Xia Qi as the background, opened the family world and naturally presented the stereotype of clan. Later, the population grew more and more, the clan grew bigger and bigger, and there was a division, and finally a clan structure with paternal blood as the link and surname as the symbol was formed.

From tribe to clan is the inevitable result of productivity development, social wealth accumulation and privatization. The patriarch is the supreme of the clan, and the patriarch has the right to marry multiple wives. For example, Zhou Li stipulated that the emperor could have thirteen wives. There are also clear rules on how many doctors and scholars to marry.

So many children born in the house live together, forming a family prototype with mother and son as one family. Because there are many children, the father is not responsible for the education of a specific child, and the role of the father is absent to some extent. This is the earliest source of the family, but this family model is not completely independent and attached to the family.

Someone asked why this family could not be independent. Because it is difficult for a single family to survive without it, even some tenants are actually attached to the landlord's family and are not completely independent. Acquaintance society is an important feature of ancient times. In wartime, only families can protect themselves. During the Three Kingdoms period, many clans moved in batches, and some became thieves because of self-protection. For example, when Liu Biao didn't go to Jingzhou, thieves were everywhere.

The ancient labor force was underdeveloped, and group development was the right way. When a large group of people are together, rules are very important. The division of labor of family members must be very clear, so that everyone can operate effectively, the family will prosper, and the prosperity of the family will also bring the prosperity of the small family. This is a glory, a loss.

Clans are actually born out of tribes, so the operation mode is naturally to copy the tribal model. The patriarch is the facade of the clan and the most powerful. He has the power to dominate the whole family. The eldest son is born to inherit the whole family business, and illegitimate children will accompany the eldest son from an early age, and train these children into people who are suitable for assisting the eldest son like housekeepers. The illegitimate child has been a supporting role since birth. Of course, there are very few illegitimate children who will turn over for some reason.

In addition to unified education, every mother bears the heavy responsibility of educating her children.

Children should not go against their parents' wishes. Shun's father and stepmother joined hands to want Shun's life and rob Shun's property. If Shun is beaten, he will be beaten and scolded, and if he is killed, he will flee. Later, after he ascended the throne, Shun not only did not retaliate against his father, but also sealed the land that tried to harm his brother countless times like Israel.

Due to careless field work, Ceng Zi broke a seedling hoe. When his father saw it, he hit Ceng Zi with a stick. A few hours later, Ceng Zi got up, went back to his room to play the piano and told his father that he had nothing to do.

The original intention of husband and wife is husband, support, wife and clothing, and the positioning of husband and wife is naturally very clear.

When productivity increases, population increases, and it is unrealistic to live together completely, then there will be miniaturized families, usually living in the same family with five or six people in the main family. The clan's control over it has weakened, and it has relative freedom, but it still gathers together, which is the essential decision of agricultural society. Living on land shows that people are fixed and rarely move, and a person with a foreign surname will be discriminated against or excluded. This is the guardian of the land, but also the love of the land.

At this time, the family structure of mother and son squeezed into the role of father, and finally formed what we call a traditional family.

It was born out of the clan and naturally inherited the clan model. There is a word difference between parents and patriarchs, and mothers still do auxiliary functions. Family affairs, children's growth and companionship are still issues that mothers need to consider. Of course, my father will also start to intervene. For example, Confucius' court language is very famous, which is an important manifestation of his father's deep involvement in children's education. The role of parents in the family is also fixed, loving mother strict father, one yin and one yang, one softness and one rigidity, with the inner master and the outer master. The heavy responsibility of raising children is still borne by the mother. For example, Mencius, Confucius, Liu Bei and others all lost their fathers very early, but this did not hinder their growth.

Su Daqiang and Zhao Meilan in Everything's Fine are misplaced. If the mother is too strong, the son will appear relatively weak. The more powerful women in history are Lv Hou in the Western Han Dynasty, Wu Zetian in the Tang Dynasty and Cixi in the Qing Dynasty. Their son is weak even in the position of emperor.

How should children from families treat their parents? This also has detailed regulations. It is natural for children to be filial to their parents, and there are too many demands. You can find a lot by looking around, so I won't talk about it. Where are the others? Like how to deal with your husband?

Zuo Zhuan recorded such an example. There was a minister named Ji Zhong in the State of Zheng, who had great power and threatened the monarch at that time. What should I do? The monarch lured his son-in-law with high officials, hoping that his son-in-law would kill his father-in-law. The news was known by his daughter, who asked her mother, father and husband. This shows that mothers' education and communication still bear the heavy responsibility.

Yongji knew it and said to his mother, "Who is the father and who is the husband?" His mother said: "A man is a husband and there is only one father. Hu can be compared."

Yongji, who had a clear answer, told his father the news. Ji Zhong killed her son-in-law, and Yong Ji lost her husband.

This is probably the traditional family ethics of family of origin in China. The relationship between family members is that blood is thicker than water, and it is a complete integration of interests. Whether a woman has a position in her husband's family depends on her position in society. The punishment of killing three families and nine families in ancient times also aggravated this interest group.

After urbanization, the population is no longer trapped in the land and can move freely. It can be seen that the Spring Festival travel rush peak carries nearly 2 billion passengers every year. Once the population begins to flow, the traditional China family will collapse. Instead, it is a new family structure, that is, modern family model. The biggest highlight of this family model is to pay attention to equality.

Husband and wife are independent of each other, and there is no difference between children and parents. They are from relatively equal, and they don't have so many manners and requirements. Some people say that this represents a new direction and is perfect compared with traditional families.

Knowing this, I often think that this is only the difference between static and dynamic, and each has its own advantages.

In a family of traditional origin, the responsibilities among members are clear and the division of labor is clear, and the family tradition can be passed down well. These advantages are not available to modern families. Now the division of labor among family members is not clear. Both husband and wife have to work to earn money. Naturally, they sometimes quarrel about housework. It turns out that the growth of children in traditional families is borne by mothers. Now, the time for mothers to accompany their children has been greatly reduced, and they have to go back to work after maternity leave. From a psychological point of view, a child's lack of mother's company will bring him a series of problems in adulthood, but the high-paced life and dual-career model obviously cannot meet this requirement.