Degang Guo's crosstalk lines

Degang Guo's Classic Crosstalk Lines (Excerpt) 1. Nowadays, women are too beautiful to leave the kitchen, too fashionable to leave the kitchen, too fashionable to spend money, too feminine to spend money, too feminine to look good, too attractive to look good ... then you can't look! ? 0? Everything is the same as in fairy tales. The prince and princess began a life without shame. ? 0? I have a girlfriend named Shuang. Whenever I go to her house to find her, I stand at the bottom of the building and shout "Shuang Shuang-". Later, we broke up, and she left me a note: Stop looking for me, I'm dead. I stood at the bottom of her building with tears in my eyes, shouting "How cool-how cool-"? 0? She said to me affectionately, "You are too kind to me. I will pull weeds for you in my next life. " ? 0? Time flies, maybe time is the best medicine. I began to think that I would never fall in love again. As the days passed, I figured it out on the third day. ? 0? 2 6. I reached out and helped her: "Don't be nervous, I am not a good person." ? 0? 2 7, "I am determined to pursue her, and it is more convenient to live in the community. She bought a newspaper, so did I:' What a coincidence, do you buy a newspaper, too?' Waiting at the station:' What a coincidence, are you waiting for the bus, too?' Opposite the supermarket:' What a coincidence, do you also visit the supermarket?' Come out to wash your hands in the toilet:' What a coincidence, did you pee your hands, too?' ""If she can really pee on her hands, do you still chase others? " ? 0? 2 8. "How much does this girl weigh? " "260。 "I later learned that I was cheated, and the scale reached 260 pounds. I really admire you, girl. You are such a man. ? 0? 2 9, the tiger does not send a cat, you think I am critically ill. ? 0? 2 10, that wonderful time has finally passed. We often quarrel with each other, and it is very fierce. She called me "you are heartless and unreasonable" and I said "you are heartless and unreasonable." "Who are you calling heartless?" "I said you were heartless and unreasonable." "You are ruthless and unreasonable." "I am not heartless." "I'm not as heartless as you," "I'm not heartless at all ..." Yu Qian: "Come on, come on, are you finished? Which woman did you marry to talk about cross talk? " "? 0? 2 1 1, Guo: There is always such a painting in front of my eyes, a particularly beautiful oil painting. Y: draw what? Guo: The sky is high and the clouds are light, the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant, the streams are gurgling and the trees are lush. Y: huh? Guo: How many seagulls flew by the river? Ah, wait a minute. Are there seagulls by the river? Guo: How many seagulls are flying by the sea? 0? Anyway, I flew over a few birds. Y: That's all right. Guo: On the tree-lined path, the princess and the prince walked slowly hand in hand, followed by a white horse, strolling forward while eating grass. The prince sang a song in a low voice: how glorious I am to be a diesel worker! That's it! Guo: What, what to sell, sesame oil? Diesel sesame oil? Yu: You Guo: I ... Yu: No Guo sang this: Oil Prince, Saudi Arabia. Y: Aye, yes. How did the horse get here? Guo: I bought it here. The princess next to her will also sing: Our motherland is a garden, and the flowers in the garden are really bright. The Dutch sun shines on us, and Americans are all smiling. ? 0? 2 12. In my community, I looked up inadvertently and a girl waved to me. Later, I learned that people were cleaning windows! Y: Well, didn't you look at the towel in your hand? Look at your hands! ? 0? I visited her carefully. She is about 1.4 meters tall, with a small face and freckles. I wonder if she speaks for Lu. ? 0? 2 14. Her appearance has broken through human imagination. This woman is too easy to recognize. She has a postmodern style, and she must have the blood of Transformers! ? 0? 2 15, I have a bad appetite. I met dream of eating yesterday, and this morning I found my shoelaces missing! ? 0? 2 16, I said no, I'm not going to hell, who loves who! ? 0? 2 17, Guo: There are no windtight pants in the world ... Yu: You always come out in open-backed pants ...? ? 0? 2 18. What did the girl say you wanted? I said I admire you very much. What do you think is wrong with me? I will change! The girl nodded and said, what do you think of me? I will change! It's hopeless! Love has failed again! ? 0? 2