How do friends talk more and more? You need to remember these five details.

Life is long, and there are not many glorious moments, just short ones. However, these short moments are often an important witness to the success of life and unforgettable. Therefore, praising these brilliant things is tantamount to praising his whole life.

1. Remember the special days, and show the special you

The four seasons rotate, and day and night change. Every day is just an ordinary day for nature, and it has no meaning at all. It is our human beings who have given it special significance: New Year's Day, Spring Festival, Valentine's Day ...

For everyone, there are also some special memorable days: entrance day, graduation anniversary, and Valentine's Day.

One of these days is particularly important, and that is the day when he came into the world-his birthday. If you can clearly remember each other's birthdays, you will find that your relationship will have a different change. Someone said, "I know to remember each other's birthdays." However, I don't know other people's birthdays. Moreover, even if you know, it is easy to forget! " If you have the same question, let's see how Carnegie did it:

"For many years, I have been asking about my friends' birthdays. How to inquire? Although I don't believe in astrology at all, I will first ask the other person if I believe that a person's birthday is related to a person's personality and temperament, and then I will ask him to tell me his date of birth.

For example, if he said November 24th, I kept saying to myself,' November 24th, November 24th'. As soon as he turns around, I will keep a diary of his name and birth, and then transfer it to a birthday book afterwards.

at the beginning of every year, I mark these birthdays on my calendar, so they always catch my attention. When someone's birthday arrives, they will receive my congratulatory letter or telegram. What an amazing effect! I am often the only person in the world who remembers their birthdays. "

do you also want to improve your relationship with others quickly? Do you want the effect to be amazing? Learn from Carnegie, remember other people's birthdays, and send your sincere wishes on that day: "Happy birthday to you!" "

The other party will be overjoyed to receive such a blessing message, which will help to enhance your friendship.

2. Caring for his relatives means caring for himself

What a person cares about most in the world is his relatives. If you show sincere concern for his relatives, then I believe you will also get his concern. For example, find out how old his children are, what school they go to, what work his wife or husband does, how their parents are doing, and so on.

When meeting, you might as well mention:

"Is your child 15 years old this year? How tall is it? "

"Is it time for your child to graduate from Tsinghua University this year? Where is it? "

"Your wife is a civil servant. Is it easy to work now?"

"Last time I saw your father, he didn't look old at all."

......

……

3. relive those glorious moments

important events in life, and promote people's self-worth, and they are unforgettable in people's memories. Sometimes, you need to mention these past events and relive those glorious moments with him: promotion, winning prizes, good deeds, important decisions ...

Next time you are together, you can talk calmly:

"When you took office as the county magistrate the year before last ..."

"Last year, you were named one of the top ten outstanding young people, and at that time, I resolutely voted for you ... I admire you from the bottom of my heart ... "

The manager of an enterprise has a good relationship with the county leaders. His main method is to remember the information such as the speech made by the county leaders on TV and the ribbon-cutting ceremony of a certain project. When meeting, he said," Zhang County, I saw you attend the groundbreaking ceremony of the development zone the day before yesterday ... Your speech was inspiring ... "Do you think the county leaders can not like such managers?

besides remembering important events related to work, remembering some important events in your life and using them flexibly is also a magic weapon for you to create good interpersonal relationships.

For example, Xiao Wang is losing weight. After meeting him, Xiao Li said, "You still say that losing weight yourself has no effect? I think you really look thinner than before. " Xiao Wang asked with delight, "Is it true? I also feel that it seems to be starting to have some effect recently. Ah, do you think we should continue ... "The relationship between the two people has advanced unconsciously.

4. Remember his classic quotation

Words speak from the heart, and a person's language is a reflection of his own mind. Those important remarks are a concentrated display of a person's talent. Refreshing these flashing words will light up the road of friendship between you two. Don't forget what he said, published poems, articles and books ...

Remember these, say them at an appropriate time, and talk about your feelings:

"I read your article last month ... it's really well written ..."

"I just read your new book, and I find that you have studied China's traditional culture to the core ... After years of life experience, I think what you said is true! "

The student I took on the planet said, "Mr. Lei, your eloquence is good, mainly because you are thoughtful and good at summing up, and you can always speak some concise and classic languages, such as' ability is the most reliable asset in life',' opportunity is the reward for hard work',' choice means responsibility',' A is excellent, B is modest',' The program does not make mistakes, and it is not your fault to be born poor'. Because they not only remember my words, but also dig deeper through the surface of eloquence, and the language expression also uses concrete methods.

5. Collect carefully and record in time

"Politeness is made up of some small sacrifices". Remember that these special days or special events need our careful observation, and we need to sort them out in time and keep them properly.

As the saying goes, "A good memory is better than a bad written one." So I suggest that you get into the habit of keeping records frequently. Take a pen and paper with you, or use your mobile phone to record information temporarily. In short, you should find it at any time and record it at any time. After going home every day, you should sort it out and bind it into a book.

in this way, the next time you meet that important guest, you will have one more weapon than others. It can avoid the embarrassment when meeting, make you have something to say, and also ensure that your conversation can arouse the great interest of the other party. In this way, what you want is not easy?

6. Learn to find the key words in the chat

Chatting starts randomly and naturally, and there is no pre-preparation link, so the topics to be discussed in the chat are also unknown. You don't know what the other person will say, and you can't be 1% sure that the topic you are good at is what you are talking about. If the topic you are not interested in, then the chat will come to an end soon.

So we should remember that if we want to have a pleasant chat, we should find something to play from what the other person said. In this way, we not only continue each other's topics, but also find new topics of interest to ourselves, and the chat will naturally develop in a good direction.

The first thing is to learn to find keywords and use them actively. You can use this method if you are facing a stranger or talking about a topic that you have never touched before.

The specific operation method is to find a word from the other person's words, expand from this word, and connect with your own experience. In this way, there will be a * * * sound between you, so that the dialogue can continue better.

For example, the other party said, "I'm working on a new project recently. It's so difficult. I'm exhausted when I go home every day." The subject mentioned by the other party is unfamiliar to you, so you can start with the general word "work" and make contact with your own experience.

You can say, "Although you are tired, you can still learn a lot from your work, and I have a job just like no job." At this time, the other party may be full of curiosity: "Since it is a job, how can it be like no job?" Now you have successfully transferred the topic to yourself, and this topic is about work, and it has an intersection with the other party.

You can talk about yourself now: "I went out to the kindergarten in the morning to participate in a parent exchange activity. Have lunch with customers at noon. Halfway through the meal, the customer received a phone call and dragged me to the next meal to introduce me to some new friends.

Afternoon tea followed after lunch. After all this, I returned to the office after 5 o'clock, tidied up my schedule for the day, and got off work at 6 o'clock on time. You see, it's not that nothing has been done. "

The other person will probably ask, "Aren't you married? How can I go to a parent exchange activity? " You replied, "I was going to visit the client, but the client was going to participate in the activity, so I went with him and took pictures of him and his children." The other party may then ask, "You have a good relationship with your customers. What's the secret?" Then you can go on.

So you are good at finding keywords, and the topics you talk about according to keywords can help you arouse the interest of the other party. So that your conversation can continue.