Wonderful dialogue of sketch or crosstalk (subtle language)

1 "Grandpa, how can I go to America?" "Then who knows ... ask the village chief!"

Speak louder and you won't need electricity!

Don't leave after the party, go to dinner-whoever goes pays.

4 cross talk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang upright.

There are more than 1000 traditional cross talks left by the old man. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, there are now more than 400 pieces left.

Listening to cross talk more shows that you are patriotic. There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Can he sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him anyway? Tell him you listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand! " Ignoring the law, I would have killed him! I can't understand cross talk in foreign languages!

The house where I live is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

Whether you want to listen, whether you want to listen, whether you want to listen, I will never insist.

10 This guy robbed the bank and drove up the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

1 1 Your shameless appearance is like my charm.

12? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

13: Brother, I hope the world will be peaceful, the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, ok?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that capable. Really, really, I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

I brought a photo of someone else when I touched him. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. They look cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, huh? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

14 has money at home and drives a Cadillac 13. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump.

At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take your magic."

15 From now on, I will never eat lobster again.

16 grenades are expensive. If there are six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first.

The young man looks like an actor. ...

18! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... sitting on a big hat, Li Xia didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but they all went to the United States ... and flew to the United States for half a year, adding more than 40,000 oil.

19 Guo: What should I do? I'm so rich. I don't know how to spend it Hey? ! Yu Qian, why don't I take care of you?

Will you take care of me? !

Guo: Ah ... no ... No matter how rich we are, we must choose our looks!

Shouxing:: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something has come up.

Jade Emperor: What happened to the birthday girl?

Shouxing: Do you have a hammer and nails? Let me use it. My sika deer bit the railing.

Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what did I tell you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

2 1 Degang Guo: I found a good job as soon as I arrived here, building a chimney of more than 70 meters!

Yu Qian: Not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I started to turn the drawings upside down, and people asked me to repair the well!

Guo: Hey ~ ~! There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I am willing to go. If I have to put a limit on that salary, I hope it is: 400 yuan.

It's been cold for 23 days. I'll give you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the button and put it in my pocket.

Twenty people, men and women, are standing in front of the White House, and their bags are all ready ―― reporters! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?" Sell! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

25- Wen Shun, what have you found?

-My mother brought eggs.

-Give it to me.

-No ... guess, guess how many.

-I guess you gave me one.

-If you can guess, I'll give you two.

Five?

This is a false tooth.

-Throw it away.

-Don't throw it away. It's too bad.

-Why?

-Tie a stick to it as a tickler.

The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ... "

Flight 28 90 14, Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, fare 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats. Be sure to have a big seat!

When so-and-so was born, his father was ill, and after returning home, his mother was the hardest. Here is the husband and there are the children. We should take care of them. Feed the medicine here, feed the medicine there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed medicine, breast-feed His father is too strong, and the child has taken the wrong medicine.

30 withered vines and old trees faint crows, small bridges and flowing water. The old road is thin, the sun sets, heartbroken people ... in the hospital, ... don't go to the hospital if their intestines are broken! ..... I am the first master of tampering with Tang poetry and Song poetry.

3 1 law-abiding, facing the court, worried, singing at night, riding a mule to harm others, being honest and clean, starving. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

32 "The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already?"? , looked up and found it was moonlight, (pa! My name is Degang Guo. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you for coming. Don't go after the party. Go and eat. Whoever goes will pay. Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. "

We fell in love with cross talk on TV. Why? Say it! The director arranged applause. Once on stage,' Today', wow-,'We', wow-,'For everyone', wow-,'Say a photo', wow-,'Sound', wow-,(Cheerful: a word and a drum! )' bad', wow-clap if it's bad! ?

Yu Qian: A tooth is still stuffed.

Degang Guo: He ate the lotus root and got it in his eye!

Yu Qian: Hi ~ ~

I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. Those old gentlemen in Tianjin went out on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. It was the pedal that fell off ... "

36 "Then anyone can eat it. Everyone looks like pancakes all day. It is also ok to roll steamed bread with rice. It's made of porcelain. Sometimes when I come backstage, I slip two pounds of cake to drink ... "

Alas, there is something wrong with your mouth.

38 hooligans know martial arts, and they can't stop it! Scientists know martial arts, and no one can stop them!

39 killed me!

How can I describe his appearance to you? Have you ever seen baked sweet potatoes? Just baked. It's too hot in your hand. I accidentally failed to hold it and fell to the ground. What about over there? A child came running, wearing spikes, and stepped on this sweet potato. . His face is like this sweet potato.

4 1 I want to fight against the three levels.

You are vulgar-but I like it.

43. "If you refuse to smash vegetables, stop it, your grandson!"

Scold the street and slap you!

On this day, I came to the railway station with prejudice, and all the tickets were sold out. Bias went to ask a policeman, "Do you know where the conductor is?" The policeman listened to the music: "I'm still looking!" " "

I'm going to kill myself and jump off a building. I have studied this kind of jump. The second floor is different from the twentieth floor. The second floor is "pa" and "ah", and the twentieth floor is "ah ~ ~ ~" and "pa".

Hearing the news of your father's death, the neighbors cried: "such a good man, he died late!" "

47. After midnight, two gentlemen took to the street naked, so Jing Li still wears glasses-if you put on a mask again, it will be three points.

48. How beautiful these two nurses are: 1.7 meters tall, with sideburns and whiskers, and a wide palm to protect their hearts.

49. Yu Qian's father-father Wang.

50. Li Jing has a cousin who can tiptoe under Li Xia in high heels. She looks poor. Her picture is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception.

5 1. Have you ever seen a gangster with a crayon tattoo on his body?

52. Don't I know you yet? You get drunk when you touch wine, and you get lost when you see the world. When you get rich, you will begin to forget the words. You only have one advantage. As soon as you see your aunt, you will become digital.

53. Everyone in the "Single Knife Club" knows that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan became sworn three times, and the two brothers and sisters knocked their heads on the ground like brothers, and then protected the Tang Priest to go to the Western Heaven for Buddhist scriptures. There is this story in A Dream of Red Mansions.

54. Crosstalk is all made up, and this paragraph is true.

We all drove back to Beijing. Mr. Yu is taller than us. He watched us drive, watched us, and rode back by bike.

54. The old man has been sweating all over these days, and the smell under his armpit is cumin.

My situation is different from yours-I have a father.

56. Degang Guo: Your father's name is written on it. Qin Feng Deng Assistant Minister Yu Taigong (taboo) into the pot.

Yu Qian: My dad told the fish to go into the pot. What's his name?

Degang Guo: Whatever you say, Yu ... Yu Shaoqian, write it down.

57. You hit the monk after reading the scriptures.

58. Degang Guo: Ask a layman in Jushilin to write a spell for your father.

Yu Qian: Right.

Degang Guo: Can ordinary people invite you? Jushilin's came, Kutokuhayashi's, Zhilin's, McDonald's and Quanjude's also came.

59. Degang Guo: I'm sorry to see your father like this. I grew up with the old man, grew up in front of him and watched me grow up. Now he is so ill, can I feel it in my heart?

Yu Qian: Exactly.

Degang Guo: Alas ... (pointing) Old man, you ... you have today.

60. Degang Guo: On one occasion, there was a gravel case, and the body was dismembered into eight pieces, which was terrible. The detective asked Yu Qian, "What do you think is going on?" Yu Qian thought for a moment and said, "I think this is suicide."

Yu Qian: Ah, suicide?

Degang Guo: The detective liked Yu Qian very much. He pointed to the body and said, "If only he were you."

6 1. The tower reads "Tongguan" in three characters.

62. You haven't seen my daughter-in-law, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She should have a beard like Zhang Fei.

Take out a golden pen, dazzling and cold.

This plane is also diesel.

"Excuse me, Grandpa, how can I get to America?"

"Ask the village chief!"

"He doesn't know the way, from a botanical point of view, he doesn't know the way.

The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

There are twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, and all the bags are ready-reporter! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?

"sell! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

There is a rockery in the White House with a banner below it: Everyone is responsible for family planning.

One day, the host went to a disco. Accidentally met the daughter of his young confidante. From the moment I met her, the master knew that his Jianghu career was over. Destined to leave these days when white clothes come and go like snow, the old man resolutely put on a wig and went to secularization at the age of 80.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

If two kinds of feelings depend on each other, are they pork and pork?

7 1 How many stops is Tieling from America?

There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one. Oh! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties.

As soon as the girl turned around, she combed four hairs.

Don't throw away this pair of false teeth, it is still useful. Tie a stick to it as a tickle.

Walking, alas, there was a question mark in front, and Liu Bei jumped up "Teng wait for a while wait for a while". Alas, there was a mushroom, and Liu Bei grew taller after eating it. He went on to say that there was another question mark. When he touched it, a flower appeared. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand, and "DuDu DuDu" could shoot bullets! With wings, the tortoise came. ...

What's your name? Ah! What's your name? Stop it! Saying it is a curse!

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four. I said, I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

God, this is so exciting. My heart is about to be torn apart.

On TV, a crew member wore a pair of glasses and said, "Oh, I'm going to talk about braised pork today.

Degang Guo: Your daughter-in-law is crying. Yu Qian: distressed? Degang Guo: My leg hurts.

8 1 wearing slippers and masks is three o'clock.

I used to talk, but I thought I was blind.

Degang Guo: "Your grandmother said to your mother,' Jinlian, you are leaving.' Yu Qian: "Ah." Degang Guo: "I didn't say your grandfather's surname was Pan.

Several inhuman hooligans abused Li Qing's cousin in the moonlight, and when the moon came out, several hooligans turned themselves in.

Good evening, audience.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Do you find that our campus is becoming more and more harmonious and civilized now?

B: Yes! Creating a harmonious and civilized campus has brought us many benefits.

A: I know! The road is getting wider and wider.

B: Come on, come on, make it clear. What is this?

Answer: Use your IQ to think about how to "tell me all the passwords of IP, IQ and IC" like Fan Wei. Your brain has two parts, one on the left and the other on the right. The right has nothing, and the left has nothing.

What are you showing off? make it clear

A: Isn't this creating a harmonious campus? Everyone is busy improving their quality and ability!

B: Yes!

A: The reading room and library are crowded with people. Others are crowded, others oppress, others lag behind and others pile up.

B: Oh! Renrenbing

A: Almost. Anyway, your toes touch the heel of the person in front, and the shoulders of the people on both sides are the big arms and the small arms, and the small arms are closed.

B: Stop! Stop, stop, stop. I feel like selling slaves. At least this is a vegetable market!

a； What words! Does anyone take a book to the vegetable market to buy food? Are there any slaves who are undergraduates?

B: No.

A: Is there anyone who goes shopping without making noise? Are there any slaves who don't resist?

b； Don't! If there is, it is also dumb.

a； That's right. The reading room is crowded with people, but strangely, the road is not wide.

b； This has created a civilized and harmonious campus with more and more study rooms.

a； Yes, I used to love shopping and watching movies, but now I love classes.

b； Where is it? People call it that men and women study together and are not tired! People have to go to the postgraduate entrance examination!

Really? Do you want to take the postgraduate entrance examination? Do you think the postgraduate entrance examination is easy? Now I finally know why the buffalo is flying in the sky. It turned out that she blew on the ground!

Hey, hey, what are you talking about? Who is blowing?

A: Forget it. I won't argue with you. Tell me, are we dealing with that type?

Of course, girls in love are radiant all day.

A: Look, I am so young and lovely when I am not in love. This is called natural beauty (mom and dad can't help it)

B: You stink! ! ! People learn by themselves until 10: 30 every day and recite many words.

A: Wow, so energetic! Then I want to fall in love, too I'll let him do aerobics with me. One, two, three ... My slogan is to lose weight. ...

B: Come on! Participate in everything!

What, you wronged a good man!

B: Remember! What we want is a harmonious campus.

Do you think I am not harmonious?

A civilized campus.

Do you think I can swear?

Lovely campus

Am I not cute enough?

B: Come on, I really admire you. In order to express my feelings, I decided to say it with a song!

A: Audience friends! Let's have more applause later! The little girl is thin-skinned and has no applause to cry. What should I do? Come on, clap!

I don't care what others do to create a civilized and harmonious campus, as long as you insist on doing so.

I believe that civilization and harmony will always accompany me. I know that everything is not easy, and my heart has always firmly believed in myself.

May we work together. We all need courage to face all kinds of resistance and fleeting ideas. I can create them firmly.

Harmonious campus, create a civilized campus

A: Not bad, it seems that there are two brushes! 、

B: Of course.

A: Copy guy, I just bought it today and it doesn't work yet! (Laughter)

B: It looks like something else! Awesome! See what she can do! ! ! ! !

Look at this. (Take out the bamboo board)

B: Just two bamboos! What are you proud of?

A: No! It's two bamboos and a red rope! Hmm. How interesting

Come on, you'd better get started The people's audience is very anxious.

A: Say it one by one. Shall we talk about it today? Well, shall I say something today?

B: It looks like a fake. I look at you. Go down if you can't speak. Don't be ashamed here!

What are you doing? Look at people through the door, look down on them! We are 40 horizontally and 60 vertically, which is 2400!

Oh, you're right. Stop dawdling, we are all waiting!

A: Well, I'll say that building a harmonious campus means that everyone has a good life. The road is widened, and the reading room goes to buy food.

B: What? Who went there to buy food?

Answer: Go to the reading room to study, learn astronomy to see the stars, and learn geography to see the earth.

B: A man that big has seen everything.

If you interrupt me again, I will slap you in the face!

B: Come on, go ahead, I'm listening (we all are, haha).

A: Well, let me tell you slowly. Our normal college has taken on a new look and a new atmosphere! The spring breeze in March blows all over the floor.

Busy inside and outside the college, alas! In order to enhance our legal awareness and create a civilized campus, the college held the activity of "abiding by discipline and law, creating a harmonious campus and theme education month"

Yes, it is! This statement is true!

A: After the mobilization meeting, ah, well, well, all departments and subjects are busy. Do thesis writing, give lectures, broadcast programs on TV, and go to primary schools for publicity. Alas, many activities still cost her a lot of money. Where can I find these expenses? Hey, where can I find them?

Where can I find it?

A: Get sponsored!

B: You are the initiator of the relationship and another liar.

A: Yes, what's wrong with sponsorship? Oh, I forgot to introduce myself to everyone! I am * * * *

B: Do you want to get sponsorship now?

A: Don't play with me, I'm not finished yet! "Come with me. Go get sponsorship, the dream has awakened, and I'm not afraid anymore. All this is just to get sponsorship. Please give some sponsorship quickly. "

B: Stop, stop, stop. Why sponsor now? Let me ask you: Do you have any other activities?

Tell us all to see! "

A: Yes, listen carefully. In the fun football match, there is only one rule for men and women to enter the stadium together (competing on the same stage)

Which one?

A: When girls play football, boys are not allowed to grab it, otherwise it will be a foul!

Yo, that's a good rule! High, really high!

A: Let's play together! Who is strong and who is weak is not necessarily.

B: Yes! Who is strong and who is weak, that is not necessarily!

A: There were many good things in March. The young people of Huai Normal University are out of the pot, and the cover character Ye Zhanao has a way to set up a poetry club.

Sun Meili, a shy girl, won the prize in the spotlight, and hundreds of societies opened together, just like a wonderful flower in the water.

B: It's beautiful, beautiful and handsome ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A: I believe our campus will be more harmonious and civilized under the leadership of the Party Committee of our college.

Attention, passengers: Train 4 15 bound for Huaiyin Teachers College.

We are leaving soon, please come and buy tickets quickly. Come on, come on, let's hurry to buy tickets. I refuse to bargain here.

Two yuan a piece, neither expensive nor expensive. Come and buy it. After this village, there are no shops.

Come on, give me the money. I will give you a 20% discount. Is it cheaper? Ha ha ha ha! (secretly)

A: Huh? I wonder, why didn't anyone come to buy tickets?

B: 100，200，~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A: Huh? How does she make my money? Hey, don't run, give me the money! ! ! !

B: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A: Don't run, it's not the curtain call yet!