What do you think of marriage in China?

The characteristic of marriage in China is that the woman entrusts the whole family and the man refuses to grow up!

It is said that marriage is the grave of love, especially for men and women who are far apart from each other. The frictions and contradictions in all aspects of married life are always testing their love. The TV dramas we have seen in China are basically the plots of mother-in-law wars, custody disputes, parents interfering in their children's marital affairs and so on. This conflict is a unique marriage problem in China, especially in the arrangement of family system.

If the two sexes want to be happy together after meeting, they should also know how to deal with the order of family origin-they must put their partners first.

When two people are in love, without family intervention, both men and women naturally give priority to their partners. However, when two families meet, the situation is much more complicated. Because of their different family backgrounds, both of them have deep attachment to their families and parents, and both think that if they love me, please accept my family.

The common disadvantages of marriage in China The following demonstration simulates the general state of sexual relations in China:

The two sides confronted each other and remained deadlocked.

Demo:

A man and a woman meet, and the woman says to the man, I love you very much, but my parents are more important than you.

M: It's very uncomfortable.

The man said to the woman: I love you very much and want to be with you, but my parents come first.

Hearing this, the woman wanted to step back.

Men and women are all the same, and they all want each other to put themselves in the most important position.

If you put it another way, what is the effect?

Man: Now I'm grown up. Sometimes I need to take care of my parents, and at the same time, with you, you are the most important!

Woman: I also want to take care of my parents. At the same time, when I am with you, you are the most important!

Hearing the above words, both men and women walked towards each other, and they stood very close.

It is unbearable for a girl to entrust her family.

Entering the relationship between men and women is an important starting point and symbol of spiritual and material independence and no longer relying on parents. However, in marriages in China, daughters usually leave family of origin and marry the man's family. As a result, many women get married and marry the whole family!

The woman said to the man: I marry you, and my whole family depends on you!

Man: The pressure is so great that I can't breathe.

Family is two people supporting each other. Girls should not put the pressure of their lives or even the whole family on boys.

Boys stay at home and refuse to grow up.

Another situation of Chinese marriage in which the woman marries the man's family is that the husband never has to leave home to grow up. This family does not have a wife, but a daughter!

The woman walked into the man's family circle and stood on the man's left, and the man's parents stood behind. The lecturer asked all delegates what they thought of this way of standing:

M: Good!

Woman: I want to go to the side. ...

Man's mother (mother-in-law): Everything is under control, very good!

Man's father (father-in-law): OK!

Woman's mother: Very empty.

Woman's father: It feels like our daughter has been robbed. ...

Once there are problems and frictions, such as in the struggle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for their son/husband, the husband chooses to stand by and watch his mother's side, and the family pattern will change greatly.

The instructor asked everyone how they felt at this time:

Mother-in-law: Very happy.

Man: Good, very safe.

Woman: I'm empty. I want to go home and walk to my parents.

If we want a happy married life, we need to establish a new system and give priority to small families.

The birth of a new family is that men and women have jointly created a new system, moved towards a new future together, and the relationship with family of origin has a better structural model:

Both men and women left their respective family of origin and established a new system; The woman keeps a distance from the family with the birth system, putting her husband first; The man also keeps a distance from the family with systematic origins and focuses on his wife.

All the representatives in the demonstration said that they were comfortable.

China people have a strong sense of family, and they are still dominated by paternal families. Therefore, China people's family concept is based on paternal line and filial piety first, and parents should put everything first, not their partners and children.

Therefore, the TV dramas we see in China are basically mother-in-law wars, custody disputes, parents' interference in their children's marriage and so on. This conflict is a unique marriage problem in China, especially in the arrangement of family system.

Modern western society began to enter the nuclear family model, that is, the family composed of husband, wife and children. When children grow up, they leave this family and set up their own nuclear family independently. This new nuclear family is respected, which shows that everything gives priority to this new family. This value has been generally recognized in modern western countries, and it is also worth learning from our families in China.

In fact, from the perspective of arrangement, giving priority to the new system, commonly known as the small family, is indeed conducive to the happiness of the small family, which may be one of the necessary conditions for family happiness, and is not affected by the different cultural values of the East and the West.