Why do I always lose my temper in front of my loved ones?

We have a strong sense of boundaries with unfamiliar or strange people, we know how to respect and give kindness to maintain a comfortable relationship, and we don't impose rules on them, so we usually treat them more calmly and patiently.

Everyone knows at the bottom of their heart that we should treat the people who love us more nicely, rather than bad-mouthing them and attacking and blaming them. But there are times when we do it with ourselves but fail to harmonize, and we still can't help but lash out at those close to us, inevitably regretting it afterwards.

We naturally feel that I belong to my family, that my family is my harbor, that it brings me a sense of security and comfort, that it allows me to relax. There's nothing wrong with this kind of thinking in itself, but it can easily cause us to lose our sense of boundaries with our family members, thinking that "those who love me should embrace me, comfort me, and give to me," etc., and subconsciously setting up rules for our family members to love and embrace us more.

Once we get their tolerance and accommodation, we will be more sure that we are loved and feel more at ease; so the next time, we will repeat this behavior of confirming love by hurting, and keep reinforcing our own subconscious thoughts: "If you love me, you should tolerate me", forming a vicious cycle. So, for those close to us, we often lose our temper, blame, and complain with impunity.

When you are too self-centered, you think only about your own feelings and needs, and ignore what others desire and need. Thus, you will ask those around you to tolerate yourself and put up with you, but ignore the fact that your temper can hurt people, under the banner of love of those around you, which is essentially actually you don't love them that much.

The reason why many people lose their temper is mainly related to their family of origin. For example, their parents didn't provide them with enough love when they were young, which led to their inner sensitivity and anxiety, and they could only confirm that they are worthy of being loved by losing their temper when they grow up; or their parents are also short-tempered people, which led to their temper being equally short-tempered, etc.

These people are not only the most vulnerable, but also the most vulnerable, and the most vulnerable are the most vulnerable.

When you can control your temper, you will be better able to love those who love you and reap more happiness and joy. May everyone be loved and learn to love and reap a happy and fulfilling life. If you have other relationship problems and don't know how to solve them, tell Lemon about your situation and I'll help you out.