East-West Marriage: Why Foreigners Marry Ugly Chinese Women

American men holding a beautiful Oriental woman

In the San Francisco Bay Area, where I live, you can often see Chinese women holding an American man. The Chinese woman next to the foreigner is often unattractive, and belongs to the category of "yellow face" that Chinese men deride as "yellow face". Thus, Chinese men inevitably concluded that only ugly women will go to marry American men. This conclusion is not unreasonable, a Chinese woman grew up in China, the first by the Chinese men to choose, Chinese men pick the rest, will fall into the hands of American men. And Chinese men's selection criteria is no more than one: looks. So the ones left over by Chinese men are naturally the ugly ones.

What moved me was that those "ugly women" who were "abandoned" by Chinese men found love with American men. It's not that American men can't see the wrinkles and spots on the faces of the women beside them; Hollywood and Broadway have an aesthetic view of women that is not unlike that of Chinese men. What is valuable is that many American men are able to go beyond looks to find the good in a woman and her heart, which makes me very touched as a woman.

The San Francisco Bay Area is said to have more than 100,000 Chinese residents, but on the San Jose American Red Cross "honor roll" of volunteer blood donors, I found only two Chinese (according to the last name on the list and a photo of the model), which is disproportionate to the Bay Area's large Chinese population. Today, when the entire Chinese nation is mad about money, picking a spouse is a sorting exercise. It's common for Chinese men to choose their mates by ranking the best-looking at the top and the ugliest at the bottom. Chinese women, on the other hand, choose their spouses according to the degree of success of the man. The measure of success is nothing more than fame and fortune. It's no wonder The Bell Curve (弧线排序)" came out on Chinese Web sites and was hailed as one of the highest IQs among the Chinese, while the average IQ of blacks is the lowest.

The Chinese are more enthusiastic about this sorting activity than any other people in the world. The process of choosing a mate for a Chinese man is akin to hunting in ancient times, where the one who hits the hardest prey is the hero. Chinese men are not proud to bring his "hunted" to the woman in front of the crowd, but also a kind of survival competition to show and show off the achievements, just as he shows and shows off his Mercedes-Benz car and garden house to others.

For those American men who hold the hands of ugly Chinese women, Chinese men love to criticize them for not having vision. Do American men really have no vision? This conclusion is as simple and hasty as the argument in an article some time ago that Westerners are "stupid" and Chinese are "smart". The previous mentioned Hollywood and Broadway beauty standards, in fact, even the American primary and secondary school students worship youth idols, and Chinese men worship beauty standards almost the same. When American men are young, they are driven by their biological instincts to pursue beautiful women. Once they grow up, especially after a good education, they are no longer satisfied with just the pursuit of beautiful appearance, but more importantly, the impact of the heart, the exchange of ideas, which is their biological instincts on top of a transcendence. Chinese men can't accept ugly women, because they are still in the primary stage of survival competition based on biological instincts, a person in the most basic biological needs to be satisfied before, will not consider a higher level of satisfaction. The fact that a beautiful woman can stimulate Chinese men's sexual desire but an ugly woman can't, in turn, shows that Chinese men are still stuck in the primary stage of satisfying their sexual desires.

Fussell said in his book "Style" that the new rich like to drive around in shiny new Mercedes-Benzes, while the "old money" is happy to sit low in a dusty Plymouth. An Englishman once told me that those wearing old corduroy suits with the elbows worn off the lint were probably earls and dukes or something like that, because these "old money" people have a lot of confidence in their hearts. Imagine asking a rich Chinese man to drive a beat-up old Plymouth on the road, and he'll flatly refuse. If you ask a successful Chinese man to marry an ugly woman, it will kill him. The two are connected.

It's not that Chinese men don't need to exchange ideas, it's just that they prefer to do it with their male friends, and women only have to listen to them, and Chinese men can't stand the idea of a woman being his equal. A woman with a little ability, will be ridiculed as a "strong woman". What is a strong woman? That is everyone's respect away from the "other". Strong women make men feel threatened, Chinese men need to show their strength in front of women, need to be looked up to by women, so the woman must be lower than him. I have seen a Chinese female doctor to a bachelor's degree male compatriots to show affection, so that the "unreachable" male compatriots fled in panic. This is a company in the United States as a small white-collar male compatriots, prefer to return to mainland China to joyfully "interview" dozens of, including five-star hotel receptionist, including a large group of young beauty. Chinese men in their strong peak moment, looking forward to the worship of women; Chinese men in their failure at the moment of low tide, is looking forward to the comfort of women. A Chinese man is looking for a replica of his mother, a woman who loves him, who adores him, who satisfies him, not a woman he loves. When a Chinese man is sad because he is rejected by a woman, his friends will advise him that it is not worth it for a woman.

When have you ever heard of a Chinese man being willing to give his life or even abandon everything for the woman he loves, except for the legendary Liang Shanbo? The former king of England in the late 1930s, Edward VIII, was known as the great "saint of love". Edward VIII, the former King of England in the late 1930s, was known as the great "saint of love". So much so that every Valentine's Day, Edward VIII was celebrated by the media as a model of love, and it was mentioned that he "gave away" the kingdom of the British Empire as a bride price, preferring to give up the power of the king, and marrying a twice-divorced woman, five years older than himself, with his own body as a "virgin. He preferred to give up the power of the king and marry an American civilian woman who was five years older than himself and had been divorced twice, and from then on, he was faithful to her. Perhaps the history of Britain, where the king fell from power because of a woman, will be summarized by some Chinese as a "red face" in the context of ancient Chinese history.

Is no one to save the wife

An American female teacher who came to China to teach, gave a question to the Chinese students in the class: a husband together with his mother, wife and young children fell into the river, the circumstances only allowed the husband to rescue a person, then you think he should go first to save who? Immediately the class launched a lively discussion, some people say it is natural to save the mother first, this is the key moment to repay the old man's parenting. Another student's opinion is to save the child is the most important, the child represents the hope and future ....... After everyone spoke enthusiastically, the female teacher's brow wrinkled, dissatisfied with the loud reproach: "No one among you is actually willing to save the wife, why?" The students looked at each other in silence. The governess spoke eloquently, "I think it is most worthwhile to save the wife first. Because the mother is old, and she is nearing the end of her life's journey; the toddler is not yet young enough to feel the great pain. However, when the wife has gone through this disaster with you***, the aftermath is bound to make you even more dependent on each other, in times of trouble***, and you will still have children."

Clearly the differences between Chinese and Western cultures are evident in the order in which family members are related. According to China's filial piety as the head of Confucianism, the elderly grandparents, parents in the family is the rightful head of the family; ranked second is the children, unfilial three no after for the great, the succession must not be cut off; and then is the brotherhood of brothers as hand and foot, we are born with the same root; the last turn of the husband and wife, the wife is the guest of honor as a guest. In the West, it is different, influenced by Christian monogamy, the order of the family is: husband and wife, children, parents, brothers and sisters. According to the Bible, God created man and woman, so man has to leave his parents to unite with his wife to become one, and husband and wife are the foundation of the family.

American men are not stingy in praising their partners

We have heard many Chinese women say that they like to be with American men because "it feels good". American men are never stingy in praising women, and this kind of praise is almost a daily behavior. Even if an ordinary-looking woman, American men will heartily praise her talent, beauty, intelligence and so on, and even because of her "heart of beauty", which leads to its appearance will also become beautiful and moving up. I remember in the early 80's, the old Hollywood movie star Gregory Peck visited China. I remember that in the early 80's, when the veteran Hollywood actor Gregory Peck visited China, he met the former Chinese movie star Wang Xiaotang at a dinner party, and when Wang showed him the stills of her dressed in the coarse clothes of an old fisherman's wife rocking a fishing boat, Peck complimented the over-hundred-year-old Wang for her stunning beauty. Wang later exclaimed that Pike's praise of the wrinkled old woman with her silver hair blown away by the sea breeze was definitely a definition of high-level beauty. Educated American men also gave Chinese women the respect they deserve, a well-educated American men, will always naturally show respect for women all kinds of manners. Here is not just to help women open the door, drape the jacket and other superficial gentlemanly manner, a depth of connotation of the Western gentleman, he knows how to respect and appreciate the intrinsic value of women. In contrast, I have heard more than one Chinese man say, if you want to chase a very beautiful girl, first of all, to knock off her pride. Chinese men tend to "criticize, criticize, criticize" their wives, and call it "for your own good". Chinese husbands are less common to send flowers to their wives, the reason is that "I give you something more practical". So now that there is an American man as a comparison, how can Chinese women not turn to the dark side!　Chinese men in the United States often complain that now "loving", "virtuous" wife is more and more difficult to find. "Loving", is a complete dedication; "virtuous", but is submissive, willing to work. Indeed, in the United States completely devoted to the Chinese woman is less, so Chinese men have to go back to the mainland to find a bride, with a green card in exchange for temporary obedience and a little bit of condescension to bring the pleasure. Poor Chinese men, why can't they win women's love with their own broad, selfless love, with their own sincere respect for women from the surface to the inside?

In addition to looks, another criterion for Chinese men is that they care y about age. Browsing through newspapers and online marriage announcements, you'll find that all Chinese men ask for a woman who is younger than they are. 20- to 30-year-olds often ask for a woman who is 1 to 5 years younger than they are, and 30- to 40-year-olds ask for a woman who is 5 to 15 years younger than they are. American men, on the other hand, do not set age limits on most of their marriage announcements. I once met a female student from mainland China who married an American man 9 years younger than her. She said she couldn't believe her ears when the 25-year-old American classmate courted the 34-year-old. There was also an American man who married a Chinese female doctor 15 years older than himself. Marrying a wife nine or even 15 years older than oneself is unthinkable in the eyes of many Chinese men.

Another difference between Chinese and American marriage announcements is that Chinese men tend to list their accomplishments, such as degrees, careers, titles, financial status, and even a few rooms of real estate, among other things. American men tend to list their personal hobbies and character traits. The most impressive time was when I was asked by a friend to help her sister browse American men's marriage announcements on the Internet. I translated one by one the marriage announcements that were suitable for her age to this woman. After listening to four or five, the woman got impatient, complaining and yelling: "How they do not mention their financial situation, what degree, what kind of house, how much monthly income, now which level of title, and so on, these important conditions for choosing a spouse. It's all about what TV programs he loves to watch, what sports he loves to play, what music he loves to listen to, what books he loves to read; how he loves animals, how he loves to go on wild trips, and so on and so forth, a whole lot of nonsense. What does this have to do with me? Why are Americans so unserious about choosing a spouse?" Her sentiments speak to the essential difference between the Chinese and Americans in their courtship mentality and standards: Chinese courtship is a "meticulous" sorting ritual, just like the college entrance exams, what scores will determine which school you get into.

A carrot is a carrot, the poor quality of the carrot do not want to mix to the higher pit to go. Americans looking for a partner, is looking for a life partner, a with their own interests in the same, heart and soul of the other half. And God has given those unfortunate ugly women born in China a way out: marry an American man.

What a merciful God.