Hakka wedding etiquette

Marriage refers to a civil legal act in which the husband and wife establish a spouse relationship according to the conditions and procedures prescribed by law, and bear the rights, obligations and other responsibilities arising therefrom. The following is the Hakka wedding etiquette I arranged for you. Welcome to reading. I hope you will like it.

Hakka wedding etiquette 1 (1) proposal

Hakka traditional marriage begins with marriage proposal. Usually the man invites the matchmaker to the woman's house to make peace. Proposing marriage is a variation of "accepting gifts" in the Six Rites. "Yili? The book "World Wedding" says: "The wedding is issued and the goose is adopted. "That is to say, before the Qin and Han Dynasties, marriage proposals were generally to feed geese as gifts. This means that it is suitable for yin-yang communication. After the Qin and Han dynasties, cake sheep, acacia, Jiahe, glue paint and other things were used as gifts. Later, there were more than 30 kinds of gifts, which generally symbolized the firmness and harmony of the couple. At traditional weddings in Huizhou, most wedding gifts are made of live chickens or cloth. This kind of chicken is called "leading chicken" by the people, which means auspiciousness.

In the marriage proposal, the matchmaker is entrusted by the man's family to communicate with the woman's family with golden words. Because most of the Hakkas used to be matchmakers are women, Hakkas used to call them matchmakers.

Matchmakers have existed in China since ancient times. In The Book of Songs, there is a poem "I was robbed of time, but my son didn't have a good matchmaker". Matchmakers in Hakka traditional wedding ceremonies are generally divided into professional and non-professional. Professional matchmakers make a living as matchmakers, so they don't hesitate to talk, tell lies, exaggerate the superior conditions of the other family for individuals, and hide the shortcomings of the other family, which often leads to some abnormal marriages. Because of this, in people's minds, the matchmaker often gives people an ugly image of "deceiving the gods and making money for others".

(2) gifts

The most grand and important ceremony before marriage is the "big gift" on the eve of the wedding. In the traditional engagement marriage, the bride price, dowry and dowry agreed by both families should be performed on this day. On this day, the man's family filled all kinds of boxes, boxes and reeds prepared in advance, pasted them with red cypress trees, or picked them or carried them, and the man's aunts and sisters sent them to the woman's house in a mighty way. It is common for a man to give a whole pig and a whole sheep in a "gift", so there are lyrics of "giving a gift to a pig" in folk songs. Cake food is also a must. Hakka custom is to prepare "big cakes" There are more than a dozen kinds of cakes, ranging from one to several according to the conditions and luxury of each family. However, it is not uncommon to prepare all the dozens of cakes. In addition, there are necessary roast pork, chicken, goose, duck, fish and steamed cakes.

Upon receiving the bride price from the man, the woman immediately gave the original dowry to the man. The dowry in Hakka traditional marriage customs is mainly daily necessities, such as clothes, quilts, pillows, mats and curtains, as well as furniture such as wardrobes, dressing tables, suitcases and square tables. Nowadays, in addition to the main bedding, there are often sewing machines, refrigerators, televisions and rice cookers in dowry.

Generally, the day before the wedding ceremony, the festive atmosphere is very strong. Those aunts and sisters who give gifts are usually dressed up, dressed up and down, smeared with powder and oil, and paraded in the streets. Hakka custom, the gift-giving team chooses the crowded road and tells each other happy events along the way.

The custom of "giving big gifts" is close to the "receiving gifts" in the traditional "six gifts". "Yili" said: "levy, success, make the messenger pay money to get married." In other words, the bride price and dowry are paid before the woman can get married. In ancient times, the levy was also an important part, and the bride price used was also different from generation to generation. Qin used to use expensive Xuan Xun, silk binding and leather binding. Gold and silver were used in the Han Dynasty. Since then, customs have become more and more popular, and gifts have become more and more important. Most people of insight in the past dynasties regarded it as a drawback and wanted to put an end to it, but this trend has been prevalent throughout the ages. Among the Six Rites, "Zheng Na" comes before "invitation period" and "reporting to Japan", and Hakka custom comes after reporting to Japan. There are some time differences between them. After the "big gift", instant marriage is particularly lively, which is probably one reason why this custom is still popular among Hakkas.

(3) Pick up the bride

Receiving the bride is the "pro-welcoming" in the traditional "Six Rites". Kissing is the end and conclusion of "Six Rites". The wedding ceremony mentioned by modern people or the wedding ceremony mentioned by ancient people is marked by the ceremony of receiving the bride.

In ancient times, the wedding ceremony generally included three links: paving the room or warming the room, welcoming guests and returning to the door, which lasted for three days. Shop or warm the house on the first day, welcome guests on the second day and return to the door on the third day. Hakka customs are different. Wedding basically refers to marrying the bride and delaying the bride. As for welcoming the bride (that is, receiving the bride), it mainly includes several main customs, such as paving the house, sitting in a sedan chair, sprinkling salt rice, crossing the fire and stepping on concave columns.

1. bunking: bunking is an ancient custom that has continued to this day. Shop is the custom that the bride's sister-in-law helps decorate the new house after the bride's family gives the man a dowry. According to Hakka custom, two points should be paid attention to when laying a room. First, pay attention to the orientation and feng shui of beds, cabinets and dressing tables. The most important thing is that the wardrobe mirror can't face the bed. People think that the standard of a better life is mainly "many children and many blessings". Therefore, widows and infertile women are not allowed to participate in the store, and those who have many children are naturally the main participants in the store.

2. Flower Night: On the day before the bride's wedding, the sisters-in-law in the clan (who must choose the so-called lucky ones) should dress up for the bride, which is also called "flower arrangement" by the people. This night, also known as "Flower Night", is a very grand ceremony before the bride's wedding. During this ceremony, the bride is often accompanied by crying and singing. At this time, the bride is facing a major turning point in her life and is usually very emotional. But according to the old custom, after arranging flowers, the bride should sit in the pavilion and cry and sing until dawn. This is called "five o'clock vigil". On the night of flowers, the bride cried sadly and stayed up all night, showing a traditional wedding atmosphere of "mixed happiness and sorrow".

Welcome the New Year with a sedan chair: Hakka traditionally welcome their relatives with a sedan chair. In the 1950s, there was a sedan chair shop that rented sedan chairs. Carry two, four or eight large sedan chairs, embroider "phoenix peony" and "mandarin ducks with rich flowers", decorate with "four-color lanterns" and cover with "red silk", so it is called "sedan chair". When picking up the bride, the matchmaker leads the way, and the bride leads the sedan chair, drumming all the way. After arriving at the girl's home, the girls' sisters refused to go out, and the groom quickly sent "Lili". After passing the sisters, the bride can be taken out. The bride cried and refused to leave. The men used both hard and soft methods to coax her out of the boudoir and into the sedan chair. The groom must give the sedan chair bearer a "benefit" before he can get on the sedan chair. After several "struggles", the groom is often exhausted.

4. Sprinkle salt rice: When picking up the bride, in some places in the old society, Hakka people had the habit of sprinkling salt rice. Put some salt, rice, black sesame seeds and other things in a vessel in advance, that is, sprinkle them along the road on the way to pick up the bride, which is called offering sacrifices to the bridge god; Along the road, people worship the Road God, which is the custom of spreading salt and rice in Hakka traditional marriage customs. The custom of sprinkling salty rice is actually a variation of the traditional wedding custom of China. "Paving corn beans" appeared in the Western Han Dynasty and prevailed in the north of Song Dynasty. Its traditional view is "eliminating three evils", that is, exorcising ghosts and evil spirits, which is not much different from Hakka folk "salted rice" It's just that "Sagudou" is mostly a relic in the north, which is not common in the south, but in Hakka dialect, which shows that Huizhou customs have a long history.

5. Cover your head, step on the concave column, and cross the fire: when the bride gets home, many relatives help her to get off the sedan chair with the sound of gongs and drums. This is the groom fanning each other with fans. If the elder sister-in-law of the man's family is shaped like a figure of eight, it must be covered with a lid (bamboo container), a sieve and other things to avoid paying homage directly. Folks believe that the bride's good or ill luck is the head, and she is very murderous. The groom uses a fan, which means "weakening her murderous look", and people avoid it, which means "avoiding her murderous look". In some places, when the bride gets off the sedan chair, the groom blocks the back of the bride's head with concave columns (containers edited by editors). This custom is also reflected in the crying wedding song circulated by Hakkas: "I (the bride) stepped on the door of the sedan chair and stuck my head out to cover my head and cover up my daughter's death." What credit do I owe you? " It seems that the bride is quite afraid of this "cover". According to the folk saying, every married woman should be filial, even if she gets into the sedan chair and goes to the man's house, she should turn back step by step, and the concave column of the groom is famous for covering the bride's line of sight. This practice is to let the bride concentrate on marrying the man's family and not always think about her own family. In addition to the custom of covering your head, there is also the habit of stepping on the column. When the bride got off the sedan chair, the man's family quickly laid a concave column at the bride's feet. When entering the house across the concave column, it is customary to let the bride cross the fire. Even if there is no special brazier, some old people will grab a handful of grass to burn at the door and let the bride pass. This custom is called "misfire" in the north. In some places, it is a long-standing folk custom to turn to carbon fire. He has two intentions. The first is to take the word "Wang". After the bride crosses the handle of Wanghuo, she will bring Wanghuo to her husband's family in the future. The other is to use the word "taboo", mainly to avoid evil worship. Folks believe that there are two sources of evil. One is that when they got married, the audience was like a cloud, and some of them were inevitably sick at home. Folks think they have worship of evil spirits, while Hakkas call them "jealousy"; Another evil source comes from the bride herself. A woman's body is "dirty", which is an old traditional concept in China. Therefore, although Hakka's over-fire custom means "flourishing fire", it is mainly to ward off evil spirits. Ainny, silk grass, playing cards and other things burned in brazier are traditional things to ward off evil spirits in China. In particular, "Wang Cao", which is called "plaster" by Hakkas, is a special medicine for Hakkas to wear traditional clothes to get rid of summer heat (taboo). It is a protective medicine used by people to ward off evil spirits and worship mountain gods in birth and marriage ceremonies.

6. Holding candles: "Holding candles" is an inevitable custom in Hakka traditional wedding ceremonies. After receiving the bride, before the bride entered the bridal chamber, the boy put the candle in the bridal chamber first. This Hakka dialect is the most exquisite, and the folk song also sings: "Hold the candle up to the bride's room (meaning the end, or the innermost meaning)." According to the customary practice, a boy should be preferred (generally, there are many brothers in the family), the bride should be picked up with the wedding procession (the candles have been taken), and the candles should be returned or placed directly in the bridal chamber. This is for children, which is vulgar. Taking boys with many brothers as an introduction and lighting incense for the bride and beauty will attract children and grandchildren.

7. Drum music for welcoming relatives: In the old customs of Hakka, the whole process of "welcoming relatives" is generally non-stop, and the "drum music for welcoming relatives" recorded in Guangxu Hakka official records is. Su Dongpo once said: Hakkas "bell and drum do not distinguish between sorrow and joy". Hakka traditional wedding seems to have existed before the Song Dynasty. The drum music of Hakka wedding is called "Gong and Drum Cabinet", which is dominated by gongs, cymbals and cymbals, with suona. The drum band played back and forth in the wedding procession, which enhanced the festive atmosphere. Guangxu's Hakka Official Records said that Hakka folk weddings "beat the sun with drum music", which is also called "one-day drum" by the people. But some rich children actually played music at the wedding, which was actually "two-day drum" and "three-day drum". In the old days, Hakka had a special drum music shop and a professional drum musician. When a man got married, he could hire a special drum band for money, so it was common to invite a drum band to join in the old wedding.

(4) The detained bride

When the bride arrives home, she will pay homage to the ancestors of heaven and earth, pay homage to her parents, and offer tea to the male elders in turn. This is called "drinking bride tea"; And the elders will also write "Li" packages, wishing the newlyweds good luck. After the ceremony, there will be a big banquet "Wine with the Bride". The bride will not appear at the traditional Hakka wedding reception. Generally, she is sitting alone in the boudoir with an empty stomach. She can't look up, laugh or walk easily. She listens to the sound of revelry coming from the main hall alone. At this time, the bride is usually very worried, because she knows that those crazy drunks will rush into the new house after the banquet to "disturb" her. This is one of the most carnival scenes in Hakka wedding-the late bride.

Delaying the bride is used to saying that it is disturbing the new house. "Chi" is a Hakka dialect, which means teasing. Delaying the bride is teasing the bride. In fact, when the bride is still attending the church, the bride's delay has already begun. If the bride kneels slowly, someone will kick the bride's hind foot and make her fall to the ground. There was still a burst of booing, and people piled the bride under it. In the past, aunts, sisters and others who came with their daughters-in-law always made some preparations in advance, such as laying straw mats in front of the hall, so that the bride would not be covered in dust when she fell. However, male guests always try to make the bride look embarrassed.

After the wedding reception, people can't wait to pour into the new house. First, we should "eat bride's tea and smoke bride's cigarettes". According to the rules, the bride should order tea one by one. At this time, people often fill the boiling tea and deliberately let the bride burn it. And deliberately blew out the fire lit by the bride, so that the bride was at a loss; Later, let the bride walk on a long wooden bench several inches wide, which is called "crossing the overpass". The two ends of the bench are easy to tilt, and the middle is only one palm wide, which makes people walk unsteadily on it. Some troublemakers deliberately break the foot of the bench in advance and let the bride fall off the bench. As for asking the bride and groom to bite candy and say obscene words to the bride, it is common. The further down, the more disorderly the order. Some secretly stab the back of the bride's neck with barbed objects such as pine needles, or spray pepper water on the bride's face and push it left and right. My sister-in-law, who came with her family, tried her best to persuade her to support her, but to no avail. The bride smiled reluctantly, but sweat and tears ran down her face. This trick on the bride often drags on until late at night. This custom is almost cruel to the newly-married bride.

In ancient times, it was very popular to make trouble with new houses in the Han Dynasty. Because teasing the bride is the main way to make trouble in a new house, this habit is also called "teasing the bride" and "coquetry". People at that time wrote in "Chang Yan" pointed out: "At today's wedding, the stick is used to tease the governor, and the wine ceremony is used to lust for pleasure. Proclaim prostitution in public, and expose prostitution between relatives. This is nothing but filth and vulgarity. "It shows that the new house was indulgent at that time, and people's behavior violated the' ethics' and polluted the audio-visual. Therefore, the author denounced it as "filthy and vulgar, giving birth to prostitution for a long time." "Hanshu also said:" On the wedding night, I eavesdropped on the bride's speech and stopped at the window for fun. "This is the traditional habit of' listening to the room' and a new house. Huizhou has both of the above, and it has the characteristics of "dirty customs, long-term prostitution". However, people don't think this is immoral, and generations are attacking each other. Even today's Hakkas can vaguely see the legacy of this marriage custom.

(5) Three generations of "Huimen"

The day after the wedding, the bride gets up early to serve her family and welcomes relatives and neighbors who visit during the day. On the third day, she will arrange some gifts and go back to her parents' home with the groom early in the morning. This is what Hakka customs call "returning home in three dynasties". This is a very unique etiquette in Hakka traditional marriage customs. If proposing marriage, sending blessings, making a deal, reporting to the daily newspaper and giving gifts are pre-wedding ceremonies, and welcoming relatives and dragging the bride is a wedding ceremony, then the return of the three dynasties is a wedding ceremony.

The Hakka people's three dynasties meeting gate, also known as "delayed groom", is similar to the habit of "playing husband" and "playing husband" in form and content. According to the Hakka custom, the first thing a couple does when they come to Yue's home is to meet their parents-in-law, and then meet all the relatives in the family one by one. When visiting sisters in the clan, they often start to "lag behind the groom". According to the traditional custom, the groom goes to the ancestral home of Yue family and the four gods of Yue family house. At this time, it is convenient for the sisters to pee on one side, or let the groom worship a few times to prevent him from getting up; Or let Sina kneel frequently, not intermittently; Some kind people will drag the groom to the henhouse or pigsty, saying that they want the groom to worship the god of the henhouse or pigsty, but they are actually teasing the groom. If the groom does not obey, the sisters will forcibly "enforce the law", making the groom have to obey.

After the worship, the Yue family gave a banquet to entertain her husband. During the dinner, Zhang Yue and the elders in the clan asked the groom to solve some pairing and problems, saying that it was a test of the groom's talent, but it was actually a dilemma for the groom; And those good sisters copied the practice of "dragging the bride" at this time to tease the groom and make the groom flustered.

Although "delaying the groom" is not as good as "delaying the bride" to a certain extent, the Yue sisters always point their finger at the groom, which is roughly a kind of "revenge" for the bride being teased at the man's house. It is the custom of Hakka traditional marriage to return home after three generations of marriage, so the etiquette is quite particular. When returning home, the first gift is chicken, which is called "leading chicken" by the people. This is a necessary auspicious thing. The rest of the gifts, such as fish, meat, geese, seafood, delicacies, cakes and so on. It's all yours. For these gifts, the man's family usually prepares one more, such as two pieces of meat and two pieces. After receiving the gift money, the woman's family goes back to the man's house to ask for a piece as usual. Others, such as big oranges, are also indispensable. If there are no big oranges, they must be replaced by oranges. The big orange stands for "good luck". After the bride's family receives the gift. And return the orange (Ji) to that person.

Hakka Marriage Customs and Etiquette 2 Main Steps of Hakka Marriage Customs 1

Matchmaker, whether met through blind date or free love, needs matchmaker to be a "lobbyist". Now it has evolved into a ceremony, just going through the motions.

The second main step of Hakka marriage custom

Delivery is a difficult problem to understand. After the blind date is successful, the woman's parents will make conditions. I don't mean the bride price here, but the preparation of pigs, wine, chickens and fish. For that woman. In rural areas, it is more complicated, and rice, beans, noodles and noodles are needed. After that, you can write the engagement, which is completed by both parents, and each party holds one copy. This is the so-called "parents' orders, matchmakers' words".

Three main steps of Hakka marriage customs

Reporting the date to the bride price refers to informing the woman after the date of picking up the bride price is set, and the man will send the bride price to the woman's house before picking up the bride price. The mantissa of the bride price is usually "9", which means that the couple have a long time.

Four main steps of Hakka marriage customs

Dowry is a traditional wedding custom, and it is essential for a daughter to get married. Dowry can make a daughter look decent when she gets married. The traditional dowry is clothes, dressing tables, wooden boxes, door curtains, all kinds of jewelry and so on. But now there are many kinds of dowry, and home appliances have become a part of it.

Five steps of Hakka marriage customs

After the wedding farewell, the man goes to the woman's house to pick him up, and the woman's house will hold a banquet to welcome the groom. In the past, he went by horse, but now he usually goes by car. When picking up the bride, her parents will go out to see her off.

Summary: After completing the above steps, the wedding officially begins. According to the traditional model, there are quite a few rules in the wedding ceremony. Men and women also need to drink a glass of wine to respect the world, which is also the most lively moment in the whole wedding process. After attending the church, the couple will toast the guests table by table.